What's the most devilish thing you've done at the gym?

Lifted

Best ones

Fuck you someone old guy did this to me once and I was pissed

Fuck you, Bob

>never swipe in at the front desk

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>cutting since March, making good progress
>Fattie McFat in the office keeps making remarks
>"OMG user what's your secret, you look so skinny!"
>Well, you see, I realized how important it was to eat lots and lots and lots of healthy whole grains like bread, brown rice, and wheat pasta. Three or four servings per meal, even if I'm feeling full. The good carbs flush out all the toxins and give you natural, healthy energy.

>40 lbs barbell is missing.
>do barbell curls... with the OWL bar... OF AND IN the squat rack.

fart in a friend's face while spotting him for a set of 5-150kg bench- on his 4th rep

>37446879
Holy shit kek'd so hard

stole someone's clips when the went to get a drink

Spit on the water fountain

>borrow a towel
>rub it all over my sweaty dick
>return it
>guy is confused as fuck
>"I didn't lend you my towel"

i smeared a little bit of shit on a dumbell

kek

>in japan for vacation
>go to bathhouse thats very out of the way
>a white dude like me has probably never stepped foot in there before
>walk into changing room with my shoes on
>dont wash myself off before getting in the water
>show off my gaijin dick that's bigger than any of theirs
>pee in the water then leave without paying

D E V I L I S H

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Kek

There's always this group of 5-6 high school kiddos that come in about the same time everyday and only do bench press and bicep curls. They take the only bench for a fucking hour and a half, all the regulars hate them, but we can't do anything cause they're related to the owner. I've started timing my workouts for 10 minutes ahead of theirs just so I can spend an hour squatting instead of letting them use it. This has happened three times now and each time they've left after ten minutes of waiting.

Start opening unlocked lockers
> find a locker and see a pair of jeans
> instantly reach for back pocket
> score a wallet
> take money
> repeat until basically get caught
>> some kid walked in and I had to pretend that it was my locker and tried to act cool went through the bag and found paper money and got out.
Never again unless I get desperate

>gym has 10 10 lbs plates
>take 4 and 4 and make 2 stacks
>place 5 45s on top of the stack of 10s

i bully the refugees that are allowed to train for free at my gym and stink it up, are inept to the concept of using towels or trash bins and leave the weights everywhere

i use the fact that they hardly talk german to play mindgames and play them out against each other and the staff against them.

I posted my autistically named tactics two times before, dont really wanna type it all out again

Pls do, i wanna learn from your devilish mindgame technique.

Literally Hitler

maybe some user made a screencap?

i really have to go to sleep, sry user

if this thread is still up ill post them tomorrow

kill yourself tho

>trying to bully with 2pl8

faggot

>Gym receptionist comes up a few times a day, loudly says to remember to rerack weights (people in my gym have terrible etiquette)
>Go one day
>Microload on my barbell exercises by getting plates and microplates from unattended benches instead of the plate rack
>Naturally rack everything in the proper place when I'm done
>Receptionist comes up
>No weights lying around for her to need and tidy up except a couple DBs
Poor girl didn't know what hit her. Still chuckling to myself when I remember my M I S C H I E V O U S N E S S

I always rip the most nasty farts as I walk past people. Guess eating a dozen eggs every morning will do that.
I've seen people literally stop a set of squat/bench and gag.

Hilarious.

I sense that you are black

>last Friday
>couple faggots fucking around
>no fucking clue what they're doing
>trying to power clean on Smith machine
>bicep curls on Smith machine
>they're all wearing belts like they're hot shit
>have to take hot shit
>must finish set of dips
>fart while dipping
>I can't fucking breathe
>they're in my line of travel to the shitter
>walk in between them
>let out another sewage fart
>walk back through them
>another atomic fart
>see their faces
>they leave

>guy sees me giving gym bro gear
>asks if I could hook him up
>order in Estradiol
Fuck normies

The toilet terrorist strikes again, thanks to you.

underrated kek, but you have to get him on some spironolactone, too. then you have have qt trap gymbro

Walked away from this guy who was trapped underneath a 185lb. barbell.

Fucker deserved it

I do that too
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When I open a locker without a lock and there is someones shit in there I leave the locker wide open.
Devilishpepe.jpg

put vasoline on the barbells

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...

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Why the fuck would you do this?

Dude, I've seen your posts before. You're obsessed. Get over it and stop being an asshole.

Top kek

How does one simply?

One time I licked a dudes elbow while he was squaring because you can't feel it but he probably saw me in the mirror idk lol

Gymbuddy pissed me off one day so I fucked my boyfriend in the ass on chest day then made sure to run for and get my balls nice and sweaty.

Mfw he stops breathing when I spot him now and his PR drops by 90

...

>using clips

>grab the gym's two sets of 2.5s
>begin squat routine
>work up to 3pl8 while reading about
>LAVEYAN SATANISM on my phone between sets
>put the 2.5s back on the 45 slot
>rerack the 3 45s over top
>tip my conical hat to the line of people waiting to squat and leave

Pls don't listen to this guy. He is probably American and don't know the shit we have to take because of refugees.

Thanks you user, you're doing a public service

Keep it up friend.

Go back to your sandbox ahmed

Thank you for your service

Basically, from what I remember

>Take ahmed's towel off the bench or whatever and tell the receptionist
>Do some stupid shit and blame it on the shitskins who can't explain it since they don't know the language
>Take massive shits and blame the shitskins

It was pretty lulzy desu but there was more than this, or maybe it's not even the same guy.

You are a fucking degenerate

>use gym 6 days a week
>don't pay gym membership

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that's just embarrassing kek

>Hog all the 2.5kg weights in the summer when the skellies want to train
>Do whatever exercises I can using ONLY 2.5kg plates
>When they have the courage to ask if I still need the weight I tell them yes even if they can clearly see otherwise
>One fucker tried to take them when I wasn't looking, put the strongest clips in the gym on the bar and he wasn't able to take them off due to his weak grip

>Shower and shitter are placed in line at my gym, you can't get to the shitter without going through the shower first
>Whenever I take a shit there I let the shower run
>Take 1 hour shits every time I can

>Me and this other guy at the gym somehow came to an unspoken agreement to drop the weights and breathe heavily, just act like retarded animals whenever skellies are around
>They always get scared and move to the other side of the gym slowly despite the fact that we don't even pay them any attention

It's pretty fun tee-bee-aych

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Actually made me laugh

This every day

>>see lanky nigger deadlifting 1pl8 with terrible form trying to impress his gf
>>after his two sets load up to 4pl8 and murder it 5x5 with perfect form despite being a 5"7' manlet

... And then they both (him and his white gf) burst out laughing in the middle of a fuck when they remember "lol that overcompensating shortie who tried to impress someone in the gym earlier today?"
t. /pol/

imagine doing this as a grown ass man, smdh

for you i mean, not for the guy minding his own business :) x

>bullying people who have no way of knowing or understanding gym etiquette

Shithead.

i confronted a dyel asian who i saw trying to take my dipping belt from my bag which i left in a locker

>go to get other belt for diddlys
>see manlet gook walking away with what looks like my dipping belt
>check bag, it is
>go after him, tap him on the shoulder
>"hey kid, what are you doing with my belt?"
>"i was j-j-just" (he actually fucking stuttered too)
>take the belt off him, warn him not to touch my stuff ever again, give him a dirty look and walk off
>this was about 2 months ago, not seen him at the gym since

good, one less gook hogging the flat bench

>take a preworkout fap in the bathroom
>forget to wash hands
>hands feel all sticky and slimy
>go to the dumbell rack and wipe my hands on the dumbell
>later see pajeet pick up my cumbell to do curls

About once a week I'll steal a 2.5 plate.

Hero

they're a bunch of parasites and you expect him to be nice lmao

>Eat nothing all day
>go to mcdicks order a shitton of food
>loudly and messily consume it all while all the fatties stare.
>Tell my friend "wow it's great we've got good genetics we can eat here everyday and never get fat"
>get an ice cream cone on the whey out
>Fatties viisibly triggered

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alright ill post some but can some user pls screencap so it can be posted again in the future?

>the toilet terrorist

ill go to the toilet right after a refugee and make an absolute disgusting mess, shitting on the floor, peeing everywhere and smearing my shit around. Then ill go to the staff and tell them "hey i just wanted to go to the toilet but... well i guess you just gotta see it yourself. This guy was in there before me, and its really horrible"
The first time the girl just looked sad and cleaned it up, but the second time the trainer mumbled "fucking pigs" and went on to yell the shit out of the guy who had no idea what was going on and forced him to clean it all up

>the towel thief

A refugee was using the bench, and wasnt paying attention for a second. So i stole his towel, threw it in the corner and started benching. Once he complained in his goat fucker talk and sign language, i just stood up and loudly proclaimed that i was here first and that you have to wait your turn for things in germany. It all turned awkward very fast for him and he walked away with his head hanging

>the sweat snitch

None of the refugees used towels in the beginning, so now the gym has a strict policy of not allowing you to train that day if you didnt bring a towel. I make it a sport to steal towels of refugees who are on the water fountain or just not looking and then rat them out on the gym staff who makes them leave.
They totally panic and yell in broken german, but noone understands what is going and just assumes they are agressive so even the other gym goers suport the staff and basically physically remove these guys. Its just an awesome spectacel to watch

>the lumbar destroyer

Syrians are desperate for german friends, because noone likes them and after half a year here, most of them havent even spoken to a german, let alone having german friends. So i found a group that never talks to the other guys

cont

I love this

Sometimes I even bring it to the gym and eat in the rest area behind the treadmills.

: ^ )

So i befriended that group and told them that they also have to train legs if they dont want people to think they are retarded. Bringing this point across was hard as fuck, since they dont make an effort to learn german and dont even speak basic english like every other human being in this world. But i did it. I then showed them deadlifts for their legs and made sure they all rouned their back, giving them thumbs up and pats on the back now everytime i see them doing rounded back deadlifts with heavy

>the sexual predator

I have to give you a litle backstory on this one:
I was waiting for the showers to get free with my gymbro and me, when two syrians walked past us, looked into the shower, looked at us, and positioned themselves between us and the showers. I patted one of them on the shoulder, telling him we were here first. He didnt even react. I patted him again at the shoulder, and he turned to us smiled heartily and said "sorry i dont speak german" in german, then turned around again. I was about to fucking explode, when one of the showers got empty and this guys just sprints over there and looks at us with a shit eating smile.

So what i did is i told my gf about this, and she hates refugees too. We went to the gym satff together, and she told them how these two guys went into the womens locker room, and went into the showers to creep on her. She told the staff that she wouldnt go to the police and post about this on social media, effectively ruining the gyms reputation, if they would get thrown out out forever. Of course the gym never doubted her story after the mass sexual assaults on new years eve and these guys are now banned for life

I hope my actions lead to all refugees being banned in my gym one day. On this day i will be able to train without gagging form the smell, i will be able to use a bench without having to wipe down syrian sweat from it, and girls will wear sexy stuff again because no syrians will make them uncomfortable anymore

After looking at this for a minute with a straight face I burst out laughing, there are tears in my eyes and I cannot stop.

Proud German master race resorts to lying and kindergarden tricks. No wonder we fucked you up in WW2 like a bunch of pucciboys you are)

You're the hero that Germany needs.

Thanks for the effort of posting it again, maybe i can put those to good use.

no

wew lad hope you feel proud of yourself posting your great accomplishments on 4chin

I finally have a story to contribute.

>2am workout due to NEET life
>Doing seated dumbell OHP
>See asian behind me loading up plates on the smith machine and setting up to bench press
>Loaded up 100kg which judging by his body he clearly will not even budge 1 rep
>mfw
>Watch him in the mirror unclip the smith machine only to have 100kg crash onto him
>Can hear him squeaking for help
>>No matter
>Continue my next set watching him in the mirror flailing around for help
>pretend to see him for the first time and slowly walk over to help him
>Tell him he should have said something not just sit there

I want to see the face of the person who did this.

What kind of person would do that.

Who thinks of this.

exact same

I hope this isn't real. Probably why you're a neet permavirgin

>Rerack the weights so in order to get the 5 or 10kg plates you need to unrack 20's
>Always hide a dumbbell in an odd place or a box usually out of laziness to walk across the gym to put it back
>Turn the volume up to maximum on any cardio machine I use only to watch some grill blow out her tempanic membrane
>let in people who don't have a keycard knowing I will see their pictures up on wall for stealing
>if people are loud in a group I will bring a yoga mat right by their group and start doing planks and farting

I've been writing GAY on the sign-in sheet next to my gym rival's name. He's thought it was someone else and not me doing it so far.

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Seriously you soft cunt?

you forgot to say no homo

Thank you for using mfw correctly. Good posting form.

> ahmed brings towel
> take towel

> take massive shits
> blame ahmed

etc

no, friendo, you are the shitskin here
grow a pair underneath that pencil dick and fight

My pleasure user