Because you cant have a Veeky Forums body forever, with a unhealthy mind!
Discuss all topics regarding mental health here.
That means all /feels/,depression anxieties etc.
No matter how cancerous this board can be, some of the best advice i have ever gotten has come from here, and you will never be alone /fitizen/ . No matter who or where you are, we love you.
I can start, how the fuck do i stop binging at nights. I have the calories under decent control since im used to intermediate fasting. But it kind of fucks up the rest of the day, and i feel that the reason im doing it is due to some underlying depression. We are not talking +2000 kcal of junk here, more like 1500-1600 kcal of good food. But its messing my cut up since im trying to land on sub 2500, and this leaves very little to consume the rest of the day
Just wanted somewhere to vent, honestly and this thread seems as good as any.
I used to lift a lot, was in good shape, making gains, low body fat, etc.
A bunch of life shit happened, and I haven't lifted in months, and have a bit of a gut now and I hate it, but, it's really hard to schedule gym time with a lot of the other shit going on.
Also, I discovered that apperantly I stress eat and it's hard as fuck to stop. I'm working hard not to but, you know, every little fuck up adds up.
I'm starting to lose the fat again but it's slow going. Ahh well.
Steel yourself, you only have one body, you only have one life. Try to remember why you are eating before you eat, do you really need to, or are you just munching away due to life itself. Do it for a reason, it may seem depressing but stop thinking of food as food and instead see it as nutrients. Take back control, control feels good, control will make you better and the illusion of being whole!
Yeah man. I know. Suffer the pain of discipline or suffer the pain of regret.
Like I said, I'm forcing myself not to. Basically doing an IF type thing. Just hard. I've started my own company, am working from home, so it's super easy, plus like I said depressive not giving a fuck.
But I'm sorting it. I mean I'm not that far down the hole or anything. I'm just painfully aware that I looked and felt better before it all kicked off. Like I said, really just needed somewhere to vent. I'm not a whiny person and I don't wanna bitch at my friends about this because it's pathetic. So, thanks for listening I guess.
How the fuck do you become unjaded?
I'm burned out from being sick. I haven't lifted in a month because I was at my parents' place where the only gym I could've accessed was a shit tier Planet Fitness. And now I've added a week on top of that because I've caught some viral bullshit bronchitis.
I can't go on facebook anymore. Between my mom posting pictures of her awesome beach vacation (which reminds me of a life I regret leaving behind), girls that could've been and girls that never will, I'm just over it.
The only thing that keeps me moving forward is a deluded idea that will most definitely never come into fruition, as my body would probably be falling apart by the time I could start.
I don't really want to die, but right now the thought of another day that I have to waste just makes me angrier without very effective outlets (lifting was my main outlet, and I'm getting too gone to write which is the other). And I don't want help, either, because any problem caused by me can be solved by me.
I'm going to go to bed now. Hopefully I can get at least 2 hours of sleep before I have to get ready for class
Trying to become it myself, but i try to think of it like this.
You will only have the chance to meet people for the first time once, and your life is short, feeble and brittle. Enjoy everything by everyone, that doesnt mean you have to go on a hedonistic spree, but it usually helps me to think, if i were to die tomorrow, how would i have wanted to treat this person. There is always a risk of betrayal, people like to lie, and the world is harsh. But life is more fun when you love and receive love back. We love you user, so show some to the rest of the world, it will make you feel better and more at peace as well!
Were here for you, i have gotten throuh so many stages of depression thanks to Veeky Forums, i love you guys, and i want to give some back.
You are making it brah, there are more important things then being Veeky Forums as well. Do pull-ups, yoga (shit is effective, fully srs), eat better. And once you are a rich bich, reduce work-time and get Veeky Forums AND entrepreneur (/will be easy due to muscle control + flexibility from yoga). You will drown in poon then my man.
I believe in you, were all gonna make it brah!
Personal advice: figure out what your, for lack of a better word, triggers are, and avoid them. Like, part of it is mood. If you see one thing that puts you in a negative mood, it'll taint everything else. So try to craft your existence to reduce the frequency with which you're put in a position of coming into situations in a negative mood in the first place.
Also, general tip for everyone here: emotions cause physical reactions (example, your body tenses up when you get angry and you breathe faster), and if you learn to reduce and control the physical responses, it actually lessens the impact of the emotion. Your mind affects your body and your body affects your mind. Learn to use both willfully and it helps.
Grain of salt as I'm the depressed over-busy fuck who hasn't gone to the gym in half a fucking year but hope it helps.
Heh, girls ain't my worry. I've got a long term girlfriend, though our current situation is contributing heavily to my stress and depression. It's just trying to fit in everything I want to do in a day, you know? I have to work, and deal with other people's problems a lot, and it's all self-motivated. When you're depressed you only have so much motivation and energy to work with, and unfortunately I have to use a lot of it on other people. Just how it is.
Like I said, I'm not in AWFUL shape, I just gained some fat on my stomach and I'm pissed off about it because I'm vain. I can still run for quite a while, I'm still pretty strong, I haven't lost much, just gained stuff I don't want really. And I know it was all avoidable, thus the need to bitch somewhere.
Grandfather dyin, dad took his own life, still stuck with my mother because I'm too much an impulsive spender and have more guitars than I can do anything with, other than a guy I know in real life I only have friends I met through an MMO who all don't seem to have any interest in spending time with me no matter what unless it's dungeons. The only friends I do have there either want photos of my dick or just are indifferent to me being around because I'm too insecure thinking they disliked me when they're just stressed out themselves but through all this I find myself just letting the gym take money out of my account seems I never go though I don't care because I have thousands in there and couldn't give a damn and I know if I cancel I'll want to sign up again and again never go. I can't help but binge nearly every day. I just want to make friends and make people happy, I'm too invested in the people I've yet to meet face to face because I'm so god damn lonely, haven't gotten any kind of contact with another person since I was 17, nearing 24 now. Nowdays it's like all I have is music, video games or work.
There's my years worth of angst in a paragraph
This. This is a good thread.
just stop playing videogames, man, talking to people on MMOs is nothing like real friends
But what else then? This city is extremely traditional. Whole lot of normies, farmers and old people
Its a needed thread, i think we all need to feel at home from time to time. Being here has made me realize that there are a lot more insecure, hurt people then i thought. It made realize im not alone in being a "freak" in the sense that i dont do too well with relationships, even though people enjoy having me around, and that i treasure the ones i have over anything else.
We need to talk more with each other, and we need especially focus on what makes us unhappy, so that we may one day be happy ... brah
Focus on other things, i fucking challenge you, right here, right now, to do other shit.
Sign up for a class, go audition for a garage band, start drawing, photographing ANYTHING that you could say at a bar if a qt grill ask you.
Even though it may seems useless, its still better then saying:
"i ... i erm enjoy v-v-video games...."
Does it truly make you happy nowadays, ora are you only doing it to escape, i escape sometimes, but very limited through story heavy games, but less and less now that i have started focusing on things i truly enjoy like drawing.
Hell i even write texts i may never sing simple because i LIKE to, when you do things you LIKE you feel good, when you feel good you are nicer to be around, when you are nice to be around and dont seem needy, people will WANT to be around you.
Start being selfish and do things you TRULY enjoy, so that others may enjoy you for being you, right now, you are not well, and you are not who you truly are inside ... are ya brah ?
Venting:
Everything is kinda fucked up by now. I'm in my uni everyday working and learning from 8 am to 8 pm (at least) because I have to catch up on so much I missed in my last two semesters due to depression. I used to chase girls and sleep around to cope with my depression, but then I met my gf a good year ago and we moved in together because expensive rent and rooms are scarce in my city. But our relationship just worsened and worsened because lots of stress, financial problems, lack of time we can spend together (need to work through all my weekends to make ends meet) and lots of shit. We had some bad fights but always reconciled with each other. But yesterday she revealed to me that she isn't really sure if she even still loves me, after I've been busting my ass trying to keep her happy, earn enough money and find time to spend with her. It all sucks so much, sometimes I feel like captivated by the circumstances with no possibility to change anything at all. I feel like I'm stuck in a relationship and stuck in an apartment (can't even move out, because I couldn't find a new room in time). Plus i have no idea where my future/career is leading. Yeah, that's about it.
Truer words have seldom been spoken. You're a cool guy, i think you know what life is about.
Maybe you eat to much sugar?
Sugar causes you to want to eat more even though you are full, also 80% of all foods has added sugar.
So try to find out if you could be eating to much sugar.
Be strong friendo, we are all gonna make it.
How do I get more presence in conversation? I always feel like the third wheel in conversations unless I'm baked. Do I have to smile more?
>Doing lots of sports besides weight lifting
>eating healthily, no sugar
>1 hour per day walk
>estrogen blockers + test boosters
>1 weekish no fap (otherwise I get depressed too much because of no gf)
>socialize at weekends, or at least be surrounded by people often so I dont feel too alone.
>still depressed because no gf
>thinking of getting a border collie
>thinking of trying out some (volunteering) work while I am on dole
Doing sports already in itself is pretty great, but its still barely 2 hours, twice a week to socialize. The bar thing is also only once or twice a week now and there I just listen to the music without talking.
So, im just waiting for some job thing, and actively pursuing some volunteering leads.
Also some semi legal self employment perhaps as an opportunity (the criminal kind kek)
Thanks, the truth is im still lost, but ive had time to reflect, and im slowly becoming the man i want to be, the man i know i can be, and its making me happy, something i haven't been in years
thanks bruv, it goes in intervals, when i do this i usually lie down and watch a tv-series to unwind, that is whats gotten me to thinking it my be a depression thing, since i do it when i take the stress of. Gonna try more water!
If I wanted to impress a girl at the bar I'd tell them how I've been a musician for 7 years. That aspect doesn't matter to me anyway because I work 2:30 pm to 7 am all week every week, my mother and I run this hotel.
I'm only trying to curb this lack of friends by asking people if they want to hang out or chat. But when I am around the game is either dead or no one is up for things because it's about 5 am in the US when I'm on. The people I know in 3d are either being stay at home dads or working.
Don't even think the effort I'd make would be worth it.
Lately I been pretty suicidal, I have friends, but I still feel so empty and sometimes when I am alone I feel like I have done nothing worthwhile or accomplish anything compared to everybody else it is like everybody is taking two steps ahead and I am taking two steps behind.
You do it by not giving a fuck. Right now you prolly come of as needy, people dislike needy people because it means they have to take care of you. By signaling you care what they have to say, but that you do not need the conversation, you give off that you are independent but nice and social, which makes them want to interact with you. You dont always have to talk to be interesting either, i bet you know at least one popular person who dont talk a lot at all.
Lastly, do it WITH thought, i often hear i seem smart/polite from people, and its mainly due to me building sentences in my head before i speak, this results in a controlled manner, good pronunciation and a sense of "control", or at least thats ho it feels. Combined with posture and eye contact, this gives you a direct and honest approach, and by that presence!
So leave, surely you did other things before you started gaming. Did you like being outdoors, go outdoors, did you like knitting, knit motherfucker knit.
Masculinity and social magnetism lies in doing what ever the fuck you want and doing it wholeheartedly. If that is gaming, cool for you, but go for it 100%, otherwise dont do it at all. Try to reflect on what you enjoy, and do that, you are bound to run into people who enjoy it as well in some way.
Success is an illusion, we are all specs of dust who will be forgotten in the eternity of time.
Stop caring what social media and others tells you in terms of success, true success lies in being happy, i can guarantee you that mnay people that have a high income are miserable bastards without purpose, some aint, but some are.
The only one who can truly judge you are you, if you feel like a loser, do something about it, but never compare yourself to others, only to yourself, doesnt matter if you are at the bottom or at the top, if you read the bio of successful people, this is how they do as well!
There will ALWAYS be someone better, so just focus on being better then yesterday
Fuck yeah. Eye contact. Most people are uncomfortable with it, but admire it. So do the shit out of it and you win by default.
I dont play video games and I do a lot of outdoor stuff, went hiking, camping, swimming, and biking. It is just that I feel like my life is not going anywhere, all my friends are either finishing up college or already started their life and I feel left behind.
The false idea that some hobbies are more virtuous/better than others is definitely the source of some of the angst I see here. It's sorta odd.
hobbies where you're developing a valuable skill or promoting your well-being are objectively better than pure hedonistic consumption hobbies
One year into sobriety ( 6 years long xanax/etizolam addiction) and my mind is stil al maelstrom of malignant melancholy. My state of mind changes on an hourly basis. If only my moods were constant, i would be able to tell when it best to stay home in the fetal position, so i dont burden those around me.
Excitement to try new and meet new as I leave the house, hope and relaxation abound, misanthropy and dourness in transit, fear and doubt upon arrival, regret and sadness upon return.
Time is the only medicine, and I've already wasted so much.
Nah. Different people value things differently. I don't particularly value my ability to knit a scarf and so while knitting gives me the ability to make scarves and video games don't, I'm not going to listen to nonsense about knitting being a 'better' hobby than video games.
What you should be talking about is one's overall wellbeing. If you exercise a lot, or work a physically demanding job, and then have sedentary hobbies, it doesn't matter. What matters is whether you're healthy or not. If you're healthy, it doesn't particularly matter what means got you there, and what you do the rest of the time.
One dimensional people are always shit. Whether they're one-dimensionally watching anime or working out. If there's only one thing about you, you're a garbage person. That's one of the most important things: be an interesting person. And you do that by doing more than one thing and having more than one interest. They can be a mixture of 'productive' and 'non-productive', they can be weighted in one direction or another, but in the end the important thing is that you're not one-dimensional.
The thing that fucks up my cuts the most is boredom, being bored makes me want to eat, maybe try unwinding whilst keeping your hans occupied so you want have time to eat?
>Bipolar II
>Currently depressed
>19 with an almost failing GPA and 25k debt
>Mild opiate addiction and the beginning of alcoholism
>Barely eat
What do. I can just force/will my self to do basic shit like shower for about half a day and then I just collapse onto my bed and lay down staring at the ceiling
Some good mental vibes to add to the thread.
Started exercising a little over a year ago, ditched my goblin girlfriend and got into lifting last September. Made some decent gains to separate me from the skinny fat world. Got a new girlfriend, literally the one I've been searching for. She quit smoking cold turkey and started lifting to prove she was serious about a relationship. That kind of drive just makes me hard anons. She's also 5 years older than me. That's seriously where it's at dudes, older women got all of the slut out of their system early on and now they just don't want to die alone. Fucking rocks. My jobs solid, jumped out of college debt free with my associates and straight into my field. Family relationships are great and I'm legit happy to be alive. At this point every day is a gift. Rambled a bit but I just wanted to share that not everyone browsing is in a shit state.
Honestly the best thing for my mental health was listening to an audiobook of Marcus Aurelius's Meditations. Try it.
This is what I do, i doubt it works for most people
>wake up
>consume nothing but black coffee and black tea and water before 4:30 pm
>this includes fasting through work and workout
>eat apple, oatmeal, nuts or likewise if you breakdown
>eat a decent, 800cal snack after work/workout (usually leftovers, like a bowl of fried rice with a piece of chicken or beef
>wait a few hours until 8:00-9:00
>eat the rest of your calories for thr day (for me probably another 800)
This routine helps me curb my appetite; now I dont get hungry until 4:30 and doesnt give me time for careless/bored eating
Speaking of birds of gainz, what happened to Crowbro? Did the saga ever get updated?
I find that when I am particularly anxious or my mind is thinking about other things I am always hesitant to jump into conversations or give my thoughts. You really need to try to relax. I find that when I relax and I have nothing to worry about I don't give as much fucks and I am much more interesting in conversation.
sounds like a lot mental gymnastics to me Pham
at the end of your life , are you really going to look back and value the time you spent fucking around in some virtual playground?
IF for the win
Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them.
>Life doesn't work for me, childhood was difficult, and can't handle normal adult life for some reason
>Become depressed and seek out mental help, and they do an evaluation on me, turns out I have ADD
>Meds help but not enough
>Realize I will never be able to get an education and hold down a normal job, I'm doomed to do pretend jobs that the government creates to make people with Down's syndrome or low functioning autists feel like they're contributing to society
I had so many hopes and dreams, that I now know will never happen. I still do my best to live a somewhat normal life, but the fact that I will never accomplish anything is really eating at me. All my attempts end up in failure. How do I come to terms with the fact that I'm a worthless loser? I'm pushing 30 and I feel more and more uncomfortable being around people because my loser status is getting more and more obvious.
No mental gymnastics. Do what you enjoy, try to find a bunch of different things that you enjoy, make sure you're healthy along the way.
That's it. It was a lot of words to say that.
And yes, I absolutely will value the time I spent doing things I enjoyed. I'd regret time I spent doing things I felt I was supposed to enjoy when what I really enjoy is something else.
I'm 28, and had been pretty severely depressed since I was 13, with small times of sound mind. tried almost every medicine and therapy available but lifting and biking did more than the meds ever done. Really wish they would push fitness more as a depression cure.
There is a way to brute force depression out with even more exercise. Consider taking up running once every 2 days. If that doesnt help, go swimming.
The sheer exhaustion and chemical whatever you get from all this sport, will force you to go into a neutral mindset at the very least. And a neutral mindset is still ten times better than depression.
Its a little bit of a different story if you had social contacts, even an ex and vividly remember each day the positive interactions that you had. But without one, one has better odds of fighting social induced depression.
I worry about money constantly. How do i become free?
>mental illness
>ADD
Pick one.
I have picked up walking (can't run because of shitty knees) and it does make me feel a bit better. I have planned long walks in the woods this summer in fact. I do have a few friends, but I just feel more awkward and worthless when I see them move forward and succeed. I'm just so ashamed of myself.
>and vividly remember each day the positive interactions that you had
This will sound pathetic, but I constantly have daydreams where I'm useful and just hanging around people, and people respect me. Normal people daydream about cool cars, becoming rich and famous, hot people, or other awesome stuff, and I daydream about being good at something and being comfortable in social situations.
I'm 30, a vigrin, I've never felt loved by anyone or have felt love for anyone.
My only real states of being are angry, sad and numb and I waste so much energy just trying to stay numb.
I get angry to the point where I'm likely a danger to others but haven't actually acted on it yet.
I get sad to the point where my own survival ceases to matter, neither do any sort of ethics or morality.
I constantly relieve the various trauma's I've experienced in my life and I can't let shit go and move on.
I fantasize about ways I'd like to die, most of them violently.
How do you deal with your body dysmorphia? and always feeling inadequate
Yea, walking will nearly do the same good as running will. Though I suggest a little bit hard walking to exhaust yourself. All that pain on your body will make you forget about the pain in your heart. At least it did with me.
I feel the same. I was bullied all childhood and my teenage years because I was a weak skelly. Now I'm bigger and stronger than anybody I know but I still don't feel adequate. I just want to be comfortable in my skin...