Been lifting the past 1.5 years, making good gains

>been lifting the past 1.5 years, making good gains
>don't like living
>don't like dealing with bitchy women and people
>don't like my job (programming)
>don't like doing the shit you have to do to get ahead
>don't like eating
>don't like working
>tired of fighting, tired of struggling

Should I just kill myself? I'm tired of this struggle, there's just nothing in it for me. I've traveled a lot of the world and seen a lot, had a comparatively easy life. Still I don't have any of the things that seem to *really* matter, like family, friends, a woman, etc. and being good at what I do. I don't see any point in stretching out this humiliating toil. Approved?

Forgot to mention I'm almost 30, don't think things will get better from here.

What would your dream life be like user?

you should take steroids

Lounging around on the beach all day, having sex with my beautiful sexy wife, traveling the world and reading about things that interest me I guess. Also training my body with weights, running, etc.

We live to fall, get back up, and get pulled back down again. Without this mindset you will never be happy.

Get better dreams lmao

There's something deeper going on here as to why you are unhappy and you need to change it or you will kill yourself. I was in the same position and fortunately I was too clumsy to make it a successful suicide. You don't like your job? Change it. You don't like your friends? Find a new group of people. You want a partner? It's so easy now a days with our technology, tinder etc. Since my retard attempt I have been changing shit all the time. In a long term relationship. Pretty bored of it if I'm honest but that's something I'll assess soon

Programming is actually a pretty good job, especially in an economy where most college grads are flipping burgers and living with their parents until their early thirties. How much do you make a year? They make good salaries typically. I don't know what your financial scenario is like, but on a programmer's salary you can invest aggressively and make a substantial amount of money within the next 10 - 20 years. You could retire in your 50s if you wouldn't have come to the game so late.

Also, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but all of those things are achievable. The family, the friends, a woman, whatever - you can have those things. There's nothing keeping you from getting them unless you have horrible hygiene or something. However, the issue is that they aren't what makes a person happy.

It seems to me like you've basically inherited a bunch of assumptions from your culture, and now your dissatisfied because (big surprise) they aren't good answers. Study philosophy. Change your scenery. Be an active participant in life.

I'm not a programmer but a grad student and I don't like programming anymore, I'd rather be cutting wood (which I've never done before).

Can't have friends since I live in a foreign country.

Can't have a woman for the same reasons. Where I live is just horrible for a social life. I guess the obvious answer is "move" and I will have to at some point.

>I'm not a programmer but a grad student

Well there's your problem. Fuck graduate school dude. It's one of the most depressing environments to be in. You're going to work ridiculous hours, with some of the most swollen / worst people ever, you have no real responsibilities besides reading and paperwork, almost nobody respects what you do and sees the ordeal as an extended adolescence, you get paid virtually nothing, almost nobody will ever read the work you do, and your hiding out in a school.

Seriously OP, you should have mentioned this earlier!

So I was hotshot "early high school graduate / in college at 14 years old" guy. I eventually left and joined the army because college is nothing more than an extended adolescence that pushes responsibilities to the wayside in return for very basic expectations and low standards like showing up to most of your classes and somewhat trying.

After an honorable discharge I returned to college and felt largely the same way. I thought maybe I just needed more perspective or needed to "grow up," but realized that I disliked it even more as an adult. I graduated with all these bullshit honors that meant nothing and professors were begging me to go to graduate school (some even offering to pay for some of it), and I told them no because I saw it for what it was.

The standards have all dropped. It takes a long time to complete. Your colleagues are your competitors. Adulthood waits. Marriage and families wait. While all the normal people are making money, gaining accomplishments, having families, and doing whatever normal adults do - you can point to how you're still sitting in some school doing fuck-all. The reason is because academia operates on pride simply because it has little to nothing else to offer, and most of my graduate school friends / contemporaries are there because they can't cut it in the real world.

How far are you in? Get a terminal masters, get the fuck out of there, watch everything change.

then go cut some fucking wood jesus christ that was hard

I was thinking of joining the military actually. How was the Army? Would you recommend it? What was your MOS?

Academic life is pretty sweet actually, if you can make it. I guess it takes a lot of work but you have a lot of flexibility, travel the world in swanky venues for conferences, deal with some of the smartest people in the world, and don't have to deal with corporate bullshit (e.g. "change the website because Pepsi Blue is this shade and not that"). No matter what you do, it will suck. Suicide it is!

nah man. you're only 30. plenty of time. tbf, you're ahead of most people, and most people are dead inside already.

it's up to you to take your own life, rather than let your life take you.

>Academic life is pretty sweet actually, if you can make it.

>it takes a lot of work but you have a lot of flexibility,

This is the kind of shit I'm talking about. If you think reading shit that your professor gives you and generating ideas on it under the guidance of a group of dirtbag professors is hard work, you lack perspective. I don't say this to come off as a jerk, but most graduate school students are very sheltered. In point of fact, I've got a news flash for you:

>deal with some of the smartest people in the world

The "smartest people in the world" aren't sitting in graduate schools. That's because the smartest people in the world don't need to invest the time, resources, and money into being hand held by an institution for what is practically (at this point) extremely financially irresponsible. It's not that these kids aren't smart, but they're usually just standing on the shoulders of their professors who both exploit and showcase them. Remember, there were a lot of graduate schools that rejected Albert Einstein because of their bullshit reasons about him not having enough language credits. If you ask me, the smartest people are the ones who have an education but also aren't completely out of touch with the world around them and recognize that a life in academia markets itself the "life of the mind" but wholly underdelivers.

As far as the army is concerned, you'd probably go in as an officer since you have education. When I first went in, I lied about never going to school and enlisted in the infantry and an E-1. Huge wake up call. Doing a live fire drill after hiking 18 miles with over 100lbs of equipment strapped to your back is fucking responsibility.

I wouldn't recommend the military really - or at least the army. Maybe the airforce if your goal is career oriented. I will say it's an experience that changed my life forever and really gave me perspective on how sheltered and pathetic graduate school life really is.

Maintain and increase /fitness while thoughtfully exploring philosophy and I don't mean "adopting one to try it".

Everything in the first post is an action, but does not expand your MIND. That's why it feels like a trap, but the trap is not the action(s), the trap is you and you are free to think and grow.

Check some ancient Greeks for starters, and a bit of secular Buddhism. They are interesting and you can consider the tools they offer.

This.

Also, leave gwad yew it skoo and join the adults in the real world.

Sensible user is sensible.

I went Air Force and had a blast. Fun career fixing fighters with a new challenge every day.

Dat early retirement check after 20 is nice too and if ya hang for the pay bumps after that, you may not have to work for the last third of your life! I don't.

>Academic life is pretty sweet actually, if you can make it.
it isn't. it's 70% politics, 30% actual field work. you work a lot, for shit money. your degrees don't mean much in business unless you're in engineering.

>travel the world in swanky venues for conferences
not just conferences. you're forced to go abroad every couple of years to stay ahead.

>deal with some of the smartest people in the world
most academics i've met are socially retarded. their intelligence and proficiency in their fields doesn't help them with being happy or succeeding at life.

>and don't have to deal with corporate bullshit
right. replace corporate bullshit with academic bullshit. same shit different word.

look, i'm 31, i hate my job, but it pays the bills. i'm freelancing, so i can work 5 months, and do nothing for the rest of the year and still live comfortably. life is what you make of it. complaining on a taiwanese image board won't do shit for your situation.

you want real change? talk to a counsellor/therapist and focus on what you want out of life instead of spending all your time thinking about stuff you hate.

I agree with this Anons first statement.
While (18 year old teenager) went off to college, maybe at best worked a part time job, and continued school into the early twenties, others had already started their lives and usually have more success based off just learning how to survive so much earlier than graduates.

Sure graduate got to party and maybe make social gains, but they are the most part incredibly naive and stupid.
Mommy and daddy have been paying for college for years, sometimes even paying for their rent.
Graduate often has a part time job solely to pay for food and weed/beer.
That's often also why so many people get fat after college, they never learned how to balance real life stress and taking care of yourself.

...

This 100% percent.

Based user is wise.

>don't like my job
Fuck off at least your job is inside. I made the retarded choice to be a cop so until I get promoted to detective (lol dick) I'm stuck dealing with idiot drunks and spoiled college brats in the heat. Makes it hard to get motivated to lift.

Man, you've summed up everything that's been accumulating inside while in college. I'm glad I'm close to graduating, otherwise I think I'd have a mental breakdown if I had to spend any more time in school.

Thank you for putting words to how I've felt.

It's not even my words. These are now common understandings of what an undergraduate degree has become.

It's a fad. Hopefully it dies.

Don't get me wrong - education is one of the most important things you can do, but education doesn't mean investing billions of dollars into schools that babysit you and expect the bare minimum.

Yeah, you need to stop being a whiny bitch.

No way to be nice about it, but this narrative you've constructed about yourself really makes you seem like an entitled and unlikable person.

You need to deal with things you can't control and , and work within the best of your ability to change the things you can control.

Good point, pulled the lost as to not further derail thread with my bullshit

You have depression, stop posting on Veeky Forums and go see a doctor