How the fuck is a 20+ man supposed to make friends?

>muh anti social networks
Keep blaming other things for YOUR inability to talk with people
maybe you're so damn boring people would rather look at their facebook feed

I'm mostly mad at the meme you're trying to perpetuate

Have you tried.. not spending all your time on the goddamned internet, and especially not on goddamned Veeky Forums, home of extreme autism and fail?

Seriously: Get the fuck out of here, and get the fuck off the internet. Go OUTSIDE, talk to actual, living people, instead of talking to fake people you'll never meet on the fucking internet. If you can't manage to find somewhere in the real world to talk to real people, then go to fucking meetup.com or something, find groups that are interested in shit you're interested in, and MEET UP WITH THEM, talk about shit you all have in common. Your real problem is you're too much of a fucking pussy to even bother yourself to cross that threshold and actually make the effort. Stop being a pussy and just fucking DO IT already.

Now, seriously, get out of here.

not him but that's the thing.

You keep talking to your old friends and nearly never make new ones that aren't already friends with your friends.
It was pretty hard for me to make friends in high school because I missed out on making them in grade 11 and after that the cliques were so strongly formed it was hard to enter one.
Managed to make some because I sat next to them in lessons while they couldn't check their social media but the problem is that people can carry around their friends all the time on their phone and talk to them as soon as they need social interaction. That puts outsiders in a bad position because they have very little entrance points into the social world. Couldn't have talked to them in breaks at all because they would either be on their smart phones or meeting their friends in person.

I make friends at school but none of them want to go out or do anything. they just go home and play video games and worry about their insignificant problems.
if I try to go out its just packs of aggressive low class dudes everywhere . I don't know man. shits fucked

just go to the gym. They'll have a PT that will help you out. In my experience they were always pretty nice.
Also many other people in the gym are total bros, they'll tell you how to do exercises correctly when you mess up somehow.

Exact opposite here.
Just wanna chill at home and work on my game dev skills while my friends always ask to hang out. Also people always tell me to come to parties and have a drink with them but I hate alcohol, crowds of people, loud music and most of the people asking me to go there.

I remember in highschool there was this one fatty that got into good shape, he was a fucking retard, i mean stupid as fuck. I remember he offered to show me the ropes, i travelled about 1.5hrs via bus walk train to get to his gym and he showed me all the ins and outs for a week. Everyone i know thinks hes a piece of shit fuck up but he'll always have a soft spot in my heart. Great guy.

Having that one guy to just take you there, show you the shit for even a single session is an amazing feeling, i recommend you find someone, anyone to go with

Be your own bro, bro

I remember in first year, people would actually strike up conversations in week 1. Now in fourth year it's just weary looks all semester round.

Join a club that does an outdoors thing. If you're not flakey as fuck then they'll like you.

I don't know. I think the problem is that I study computers so pretty much all my peers are autistic and introverted.
going to try using meetups I guess but fuck its de motivating

>tfw sat next to the boring dudes in first semester
>by 4th year everyone is entrenched in their groups

oh well, good thing i dont give a fuck about uni friends and still have a great circle of school friends for the last 10yrs

if you're 20 then you are probably in undergrad. go join a club at your college or a sport. making friend when you're 25+ is when it's hard.

best way to win their heart is usually a lan or some movie night. Always catches on with my nerd friends.

As someone else probably already mentioned: Join some kind of club or try out a new sport. That should do it to some degree if you aren't completely socially retarded

How do you get over the lingering thought that people don't actually like you?
I keep doing this but I get this insecurity by saying "if they really liked me they'd organize instead"

Oregano commento

>How the fuck is a 20+ man supposed to make friends?
By finding people that share your interests. I made a completely new friend three years ago by random chance, because we found out we were both Veeky Forumsizens. Now, he's one of my closest friends.

You just have to get over your autism and start talking to someone.

I have the same fear when being invited, "they surely only invited me out of pitty".
I think it's a normal feeling to have since you can't look into peoples minds. Just try to live with it

I feel you OP

Here is my friend inventory atm:

Haves:
>>room-mate
>lift together (he doesn't take it very seriously)
>cook together
>talk about life

>>fatbro
>play video games
>talk about how unhappy we are
>try convincing him to lose weight
>joke around

Wants:
>somebody who invites me to small house parties or something
>a girlfriend
>a native english speaker so I can take a break from being the foreigner

Not him but if people dont like you they wont hang out with you. Someone people are just hopeless organizers and need someone to take the first step. When i was a kid id be the one to knock on doors and collect 10 kids from the neighborhood to go play football. Everyone wanted to play but no one wanted to take the initiative, some people are just like that. My best friend whos wife says likes me more than her never organises shit. Just the way thing are.

You can dwell on these thoughts of "im inconveniencing everyone by forcing them to come" but we're all adults. No one has to do anything you dont want to. If they say yeah to grabbing dinner go for it, they either enjoy your company or theyre too much of a punk bitch to refuse and like torturing themselves in which case who cares.

This advice doesnt really translate well across genders though, not to sound /r9k/ but friendship between girls is volatile as fuck. They can hate your guts and still hang out with you, its fucking confusing and why unless you know shes a bro you shouldnt do anything outside fucking

This desu

Get a job

Same problem

But I got a gf
A lifting bro that I never lift with because he always arrives 3-4 hours laters, can't really do much with him outside gym too since he's never on time and when he wants to go out it's just clubbing which I have no interest despite having gone sometimes

A lifting guy that is the bf of my gfs friend and more 2 of his friends, basically they're the meme autistics guy to talk shit but one of them is fine to discuss politics with

some stoner guy from my childhood that sometimes plays some fifa with me

and that's it, my other friends all go out drinking and getting stoned, even done heavy drugs so I got away from them, and if it isn't there others went to university far away from here

no more fun days where we'd play football, go to the pool and play videogames

I guess all I want is some guy that shares some of my views in the world, that would lift with me, hang out and do stuff, like a gf minus the sex part(no homer)

It's tough. I joined a couple of bands and have made some acquaintances that way, but true friends are tough to come by

>tfw when closest bro is moving away forever

>tfw university starts next autumn
>pretty much the last chance to make friends

W-wish me luck

Good luck bro

I honestly don't know how you fucked yourself this badly, but you can befriend coworkers and people in college/university. Most likely they will introduce you to others, but I'm not sure if you'll form that strong bond that highschool friends have.

Is your last year of uni time to get serious about finding a gf or will there be other opportunities

I can't help but think like there's going to be a void of women after graduation and entering the workforce

Ok bye

Last year is ok time to get gf, hell the freshmen are 100%legal but don't expect it to last-at best you'll both be going to new jobs in different places at worst you'll be out and she'll be in school.

The good news is there are plenty of single women after college, they don't assume you're just looking to get laid anymore, and you'll both be established where you are so you'll have years to work yourself up to not asking her out.

Tfw Indian at an American uni
There is always someone worse off than you cherish that

> I hate alcohol, crowds of people, loud music
autism I'm afraid

I hate all that and I'm not. ...oh god I am autistic

You need hobbies and a willingness to put yourself out there. Take up martial arts or a team sport and you'll make friends.

Alternatively, if you have a friend or two already, you use them to meet other people. You meet your friends friends, and keep branching out.

I went and still go to the gym on my own. A lot of people do. No one cares.

>>figure out what qualities you enjoy in yourself
i don't enjoy anything about myself

ugly manlet, no friends, no hobbies, and have no social skills

>>collect likeminded people to hang out with
???

>>become the leader of the group
even if i did find a group, i have no social skills

T O R O N T O
O
R
O
N
T
O

Hehe kids. Try this when you are 30. I mean I guess I look better than most of you and more fit than most of you, but then again im totally screwed.

>Get the fuck out of here, and get the fuck off the internet. Go OUTSIDE, talk to actual, living people,
go where? talk to strangers?

>meetup.com
i have no interests. and the groups in my area are the following:
>programming
>groups for women
>salsa
that's pretty much it, and none, judging by the pictures, have people in it close to my age (all much older)

programming is dope af. do it

Haha kids, been there done that. You will never change, some people will always remain cringy outcasts, doesnt matter how you look or how you present yourself, some of us are just meant to be like this.

Honestly don't care too much about them. This is probably the wrong way to deal with things but I try and view people as below me. Makes it easier to talk with them. If revered people I'd have a really hard time socializing. Maybe viewing them as below me is the wrong word, more like viewing myself as someone at their level.

You should try to cultivate what you like in yourself before asking people to like you

Two thoughts on this:

The first is that you don't really like the people you're talking to. Your unconscious despises these people, but since you're a nice guy, you consciously tell yourself if they liked you they'd invite you. In this way the blame falls on them and you don't have to admit to yourself that you don't like someone. If you actually liked these people you would make more of an effort to be with them instead of giving up.

Or maybe you don't like yourself and your simply amplifying your own faults, thinking everyone else must obviously see them.

some great points user

Well user, there's this place called "work"...

my father didn't really have any friends besides family and some work colleagues.
neither did my uncles.

it's part of life I guess.

it's full of people older than me, how do i get friends closer to my age?

>You should try to cultivate what you like in yourself before asking people to like you
what can i like in myself? feels like i've been just "existing" my whole life and not really "living" life

>social networks & mobile phones have fucked this kind of things
exactly, people are zombies now, some of my friends are glues to their cellphones when we go out, they cant even watch a movie or have a beer without looking at their phone screens (even if the phone hasnt buzzed or vibrated)
>im the it/tech guy of the group
>im the only one that tries not to do that
>mfw

you should blame your parents for not raising you to love yourself

imo if you enjoy Veeky Forums you should lurk some of the hobby boards, maybe seeing memes about music, the outdoors, guns, fashion etc. will peak your interest and you can start pursuing that hobby. Technically, fitness is an interest and your probably more in shape than a good segment of the population

Bro, you should get a hobby. It's not only to make yourself interesting, but if you find something to put your mind to other than incessant self-loathing, you might eventually find yourself enjoying it, ultimately finding yourself enjoying your own company while doing it.
Throw yourself at something new and interesting, or do something you've dreamt of doing for a long time. You ever wanted to shoot some guns? Join a gun club and meet like-minded people there.
Want to learn how to parachute? Find a club that'll let you learn and meet like-minded people there.
Want to learn how to dive? Find a diving center and meet like-minded people there.
Want to learn how to dive? Find a place that offers dancing lessons and meet like-mindd people there.
Way I see it, if there's nothing that interests you, it's not like you have anything to talk to your eventual friends about anyway.

As for how to stop yourself from thinking you're unwanted or whatever, just put your very best into what you're doing. Even if you don't say much, people who join you in a group activity will come to appreciate you putting in effort and showing that you can follow the subject. If you can't follow very well, ask questions so that you can, and people see that you're interested.

Oh, and if aynone suggests a study group or going for a bite or a pint after whatever it is you're doing, fucking jump on it.

AND whatever you do, always partake in the social part of it (even if you can practice or study it on your own), and do avoid (openly) developing an elitist view of that activity, even if you feel like you're mastering it better than anyone else. Just vent about it on Veeky Forums or something, but be informative and helpful and in general a top cunt while you're around normal people.

>met a girl through tinder
>we hang out, we're good bros
>no sexual or deep emotional interest in each other
>We're real good gym bros and hang out every other day

Just put yourself out there to meet friends, if anything there are chats or if you dont mind spam and a few oddballs Craiglist.

When i left the military i moved to a random area of the country in a new job.

Its been two months and i have some house mates but all i really do is work, gym and if the weather is nice i skydive.

Why make friends with people i dont like?

thanks for the ideas

>skydiving
it's $2k to become solo certified, and i've tried a google search and can't find a group for it
>diving
i can't swim tbqh
>dance
this is something i'm willing to do

i've read paintballing and joining a gun club are good too. i'm more interested in paintball

i'm hesitant to join these things though, since i'm not good at anything. and i'm not good at talking to people, i'll still be the socially awkward guy at these clubs

>i can't swim desu
youtube.com/watch?v=EqqC1uk8KJI

go back to /r9k/ you're obviously not mentally ready for Veeky Forums yet

Suicide bro

All you have to do is go to a bar/pub and sit down at the bar...

I was hungry and sat down at a bar Ive never been to for a bite to eat and by the time I left I was going drinking with two new friends somewhere else and had a girls number.

I wonder what its like being autistic

i've actually gone to bars alone before
no one talked to me at all, everyone was there with their friends

Sit down AT the bar. Do you know how many lonely guys sit at the bar? They should just start talking to you. If you sit down at the bar for a couple hours eventually someones going to strike up a conversation or buy you a drink or something.

Dont do this at a night club

there is still hope

bars are filled with people aged 35+

everyone in their 20s is at nightclubs

reading what you just wrote gave a me a fucking headache

Bro, just take it slow. I don't know if it's the Instagram posts or the blog posts or the perfect-life Facebook status updates or the Veeky Forums boasting experts or the robot self-deprecating experts who have gotten your confidence in yourself so low, but you just gotta deal with the fact that you're not very good at something right off the bat.
>I can't swim
If you would like the (undeniably useful) edge it is to know how to swim, call up your local swimming pool as soon as you can, explain the situation, and hear about scheduling some lessons. I volunteered as a lifeguard for an evening swimming course once and saw men up in their fifties there, and this was on an island in the middle of the sea where you'd kinda expect everyone to know how to swim.

Another thing you can consider is language lessons. I suppose it's not very social, but hey, you'll be able to tell people how much of a top cunt you are in different languages.

Set some goals for yourself. Spend no more than one day researching the thing you're interested in, the possibilities in your area, and the following day you make the call. The longer you spend thinking about something, the likelier you are to, well, pussy out of it.

Don't hesitate, brah!

No youre just going to the wrong bar. I guess it depends where you live but if theres more than one bar chances are one of them is the hip place to be for college students and 20 somethings

Night clubs are just a terrible place to make friends, its too loud to talk, and if anyone goes to a club by themselves its clear theyre a sperglord and everyone will avoid you like the plague. Whereas its socially acceptable to go to the bar alone

They really need to make an OK Cupid like service for friends and activity partners. I'd use it on the regular.

>be in supermarket
"Nice hat bro, where'd get it"
>be out driving in winter and someone has slid off the road
"dont worry bro/babe, ill help you get out"
>see homeless man at stoplight
"whats up homeless bro"
>be at a library... bitches love libraries
"ayo girl lemme clap dem cheeks"

This is how you make friends, OP

>tfw you might be a "chad" in the eyes of your friends since you love dancing at clubs/generally having fun and not caring so much
>you used to be a try hard/shy faggot but grew out of it in your 20s
>your buddies talk big like they go out but all they do is drink beer and watch hockey, they barely speak to girls either but claim they fuck bitches

Now that i'm chad i can't find any other chads since im not in university/work friends are not the type i want to drink with incase they are lame/crazy drunks

i have no problem talking to people and having conversations and shit but how the fuck do you go from conversation too "be my friend , give me your number so we can do social things together"

>20+
>still hitting clubs

>animu poster
Disregarded 2bh

"Is there any way I can get in contact with you next week?"

they'll be like "Uhh sure do you want my phone number?"

be like "Yeah whats your phone number? I'll call you this weekend."

If you phrase it in a sortof roundabout way like that it, doesn't seem awkward. Not that it should sound awkward just point blank asking someone for their phone number, but I assume that's the issue you're having.

okay i can dig it.

But how do i know they aren't just being nice vs actually wanting to be in contact with me?

I dated a girl, it didn't work out. We took a month break, now I'm basically a cardio/sports bro with her.

Every time we play tennis or racquetball or kayak, I hit on her constantly. Drop euphemisms and innuendo any chance the opportunity arises. She takes it, likes it, sometimes reciprocates with light contact. But it won't advance beyond there.

And some of you will call me a cuck. But I call it experience in being comfortable around a girl, being able to flirt, be able to try jokes that pass or fail. I also have a workout buddy.

You sound like a loser that the girl didn't want to fuck but uses you are someone to goto the gym with/play with more as a social thing then actually interested in you at all sexually.

You are friendzoned and said in a roundabout way that you enjoy it lmfao.

You can't be cucked if you never even had the girl lol

Talk to everyone all the time every day. Even if they dont look like they want to talk to you. Ramble on about stuff you like for a minute cause ur just so high on life u had to tell someone. Rambling is important. Most people dont care but everyone wants to be talked to by a cool guy and get to know someone that is doing big things. U.

Then after a lil lil bit of rambling keep asking them about their life. Let them talk as long as they want. Keep askingg them questions like you are interested. Wow that is cool. Have u been doing that for a long time? Is that what u wanted to so since u were a kid? When did u come here? What do you make money to spend your free time doing?

Just keep talking. Get jobs, friends, girlfriends, anything. Be happy for them. If someone came up t you amd was nice and waned to hear about your passions and dreams you would probably like them tok.

When all else fails just ramble about what you like. Girls are more keen to listen to you talk but with guys you can really have a better conversation.

Good luck with your friend and life goals in 2016

You have to learn to offer enough conversational value to the point that it would be weird for them not to want to hang out with you. Girls need more trust from the conversation, they need to be able to relate to you and trust you in addition to being attracted by who you are and what you say. Guys need more novelty value like humor and guys also need to have similar interests with you so that there would be something to do together were you to hang.

Remember that if its a girl you want to fuck, you have to communicate that both physically and in your words in some way right off the bat pretty much. They call it "statements of intent."

29 here

Haven't had a single friend since highschool , nobody at university ever wanted to be friends, nobody at work wants to be friends. I feel like I was sort of making some friends at the gym, but then again that was after YEARS of lifting around the same people, it was very hard to break through the already established groups.

Now I built a home gym and lift from home, and now i lost that avenue of social aspect of gym.

I'be basically given up at this point, my dad was the same way, he never had any friends at all, maybe this is how it's meant to be for me, oh well.

My brother/sister some how have tons and tons of friends, there was like 600 people at my sisters wedding and only like 150 were actual family, the rest was just all the people she had meet over the years of her life and was good friends with.

>most guys after that age just have work colleagues they hang out with
>tfw I work from home and my office is on the other side of the country

I'm screwed up socially. I never developed proper social and communication skills and have always had anxiety. I dont have it in my to have a conversation because I simply dont know how to reply to things or know how to keep the conversation going. I'm also not an interesting person and do t have much knowledge about things. I go to the gym. I train in BJJ. And I work 40 hours a week as a shelf stocker. That's my life. I know to some people it's as easy as "go to clubs and meet people", but to people like me who have no friends, look awkward and shy, and can't maintain a conversation it's just a domino effect of self destruction.

thanks for the advice

Why do you need lots of friends?

99% of people you class as friends wouldnt take a bullet for you.

>it's the weekend
>i'm spending it alone and indoors
>again
you don't know my pain

whereas every one of my coworkers is doing something:
>party with friends (birthday, going away party, engagement, bachelor party, etc.)
>going to a bar with friends
>going to a friend's cottage
>doing some activity with friends (golf, or other sports, even just going to watch a baseball game)
>going to restaurants with friends (e.g. brunch or trying a new place to eat)

Dude,

You must have hobbies outside of the gym. It's the only way you're going to meet people.

Are you religious?
Go to church. You'll have no problem meeting people there and you all share a common faith.

It really isn't that hard. If you need more help add me

i'm not religious and i have no hobbies

>i'm not religious and i have no hobbies
Liar.

Everyone has hobbies. Some are just more niche than others.

You're on Veeky Forums so you obviously lift. What else do you do in your spare time? I'm here to help

i play the occasional video game
i'm trying to learn a second language
i watch tv and movies
sometimes i read books

that's literally it, i think i spend most of my time browsing the web tbqh

I think this is just something that happens once people get old. It's age or lifestyle related, but after your mid 20s it's like you only gain friends through work, or socializing with other parents if your kids play together.

I'm literally thinking about going to my colleges anime club because I have LITERALLY no friends and I've lost all of mine from high school. All of the people I work with are underage and unrelatable. I might push myself to talk to people in less important classes, but since I'm a bit of a social retard I'm trying to get Veeky Forums and facial gains so people will talk to me. I wanna build up the confidence to go to parties and do shit and not waste my youth on MMOs like I did my entire high school career. Can anyone give me some pointers? If you can't tell I'm an 18 year old faggot.

A common thread is vidya.
If you want to meet people, this has to go if not decrease drastically. Sitting in front of a screen playing video games is cool and all but if you're trying to meet people, it's a waste of time. Aside from the mobile games people dont play games so there is no way to relate to people with a hobby like this.

What language? This can work depending on how srs you are. Finding a group should not be that hard.

TV is alright. Again, you want to spend more time associating than in front of a screen.

Books are good too albeit hard. Do you volunteer? If you don't, you should. Even at a library, something that matches your hobbies. Last resort, food banks or hospitals. Great ways to meet people.

has anyone tried meetup.com? what do you use it for?