The FDA has just approved an obesity treatment called AspireAssist...

>The FDA has just approved an obesity treatment called AspireAssist, which is basically a surgically attached drain that allows obese people, through a process called “aspiration,” to evacuate some of the food in their stomachs into a toilet through a tube before it can be absorbed by the body.

>According to a video explaining how AspireAssist works, users simply have to turn a lever placed on their abdomen and voilà, their stomach contents “begin to empty into the toilet.” This draining process can be repeated until a third of the food is removed from the stomach, allowing for a “gradual, healthy weight loss.”

Where we you when Veeky Forums was BTFO??

CHAD is LITERALLY eating PIZZA right now and then DRAINING while YOU hit the GYM HARD and COUNT CALORIES
Whats your excuse for not getting this??? Yo to the bathroom, attach hose, suck out those extra calories you took it, cap it and return to your daily life and meet your goals.

Other urls found in this thread:

aspirebariatrics.com/about-the-aspireassist/
youtube.com/watch?v=kTegnTaB2-A
youtu.be/UU04OfMa2bc
twitter.com/NSFWRedditVideo

Do i have to turn in my natty card?

So its like puking except through a tube? I would do it, tbqh. Help regulate my intake. Drain my fatty cheat meals and only digest my high nutrition meals. Whats to hate tbqh?

Nothing but the hate and envy of nattys who will cry foul while we eat whatever we want

The WORLD is STARVING while AMERICANS EVERYWHERE are LITERALLY FEEDING TOILETS

I really dont see an issue with it.
Part of the issue of over eating is pleasure and stress relief, being fat is stressful as it is. If aometying seriously helps you control that and relieve that stress then its perfect. Only people who hate othera well being would not want something like this.
>use device to cut

Having a tube-port in your gut would be the new scarlet letter of fat assery. You dun ate yourself into a cyborg.

That food's only partially digested! Turn it into soylent and ship it to Ethiopia!

Whole thing's pretty disgusting desu.

So basically people will aspire, still be hungry because their body didn't get the food and then eat a second meal.

There's literally no way this plan could backfire in a way that results in weight gain.

Also how do they keep the tube from stomach and out clean? Sounds like a cesspool of horrible smells right there.

>Only people who hate othera well being would not want something like this.

Or people who dont want their fucking stomach contents leaking out over their cock

So it's literally just vomiting but through another pathway? Wouldn't you go hungry then? And eat more?

>Also how do they keep the tube from stomach and out clean?

you pour in some bleach and then burp it out

If you dont want it, dont get it. Doesnt mean other people cant get it.

All this. It's going to fail for the same reason diets fail. They won't stop eating.

I repeat myself: what could possibly go wrong?

>So basically people will aspire, still be hungry because their body didn't get the food and then eat a second meal.
The problem with this logic is admiting that people grt fat because their body needed the food. Thats not what happens. Bindge and over eating is psychological.

I wholeheartedly disagree with you.

You wholeheartedly are wrong.

>wont stop eating
>but now none of the calories are absorbed

It ends in the strangest case of starvation, with your taste buds in a constant state of stimulation and your salivary glands dried out from their constant production for the never ending supply of food

Literally needing your stomach drained because you can't stop eating tasty foods. People who do this should be ashamed

And thats your problem how? Wpuld you rather they stay fat so you can be le special snowflake?

Ashamed, yes. But better to be thin ashamed than fat ashamed.

>on a hot date
>body looking swole, tight,
>stomach drains have helped me cut to near inhuman levels
>she makes a shitty joke and i laugh because i want some pussy
>laugh too hard
>ab pops out my stomach drain cap
>the contents of my stomach begin flowing all over the insides of my shirt
>the putrid smell of all its contents isnt noticed over my screams as the hydrochloric acid burns its way down to my penis
>slowly burn inside my own shirt

At least i looked good you fat fuck

I have an ostomy from having Colitis and while it's not quite the same as these because waste comes out instead of food.. I really doubt anyone will get this? lol I mean I guess some will but I don't think it will be common at all.

I could see it as an over the winter thing or something.. It's really annoying to have a shower or not be able to go to the beach or swim in a pool cause you have some apparatus thing attached to you lol.

So they basically continue to eat their unhealthy diets and use an elaborate device to reduce their caloric intake. What happens when they cease to use this device? They can't be expected to use it for the rest of their lives, can they

sauce, motherfucker... do you have it?

>AspireAssist
aspirebariatrics.com/about-the-aspireassist/
Their website

Search the name into google news to see hundreds of articles discussing its approval by the FDA.

This is happening my friend, fitizens BTFO while fatties all look as good as them

Thin =! Fit

Read the fucking context you fucking brilliant idiot. It was clearly sarcasm that it couldn't go wrong.

Only giving you a pass because what you wrote gave me a good chuckle

This is like a Cinco product from Tim and Eric or something. What the fuck. Absolutely disgusting.

If it works, who cares

>Instead of putting 1/3rd less food in their mouths, the get surgery to have a freakish exhaust pipe inserted
America everyone

This feels like something out of a dystopian vision.

Also I bet some of them will eat even more and stop caring about their diet at all because they feel like they can just take care about it later by pulling the lever.

that is revolting, what the fuck?

>pull the lever Kronk
>High pressure stream of chewed up food nails the waiter to the wall
>WRONG LEVER KRONK

holy shit you fucking autist it was a joke post

...

This and also, what about blockages?

This disgusting fatty body plug stuff reminds me of him.

>ugly ass plastic opening in the upper abdomen
No thanks. I'll just not eat shit food.

>hello darkness my old friend

Enjoy starving, my pizza just arrived

fda approved bulimia, noice

...

This is just the start my friends, if this shit gets mainstream it's just gonna open up new lines of crazy.
They are gonna end up having a tube completely blocking off the stomach which redirects the food you eat directly into a bag strapped to your belly which you would need to empty into the bin/toilet 5 times a day. And while that is happening they are gonna have an IV in their arm giving them all the nutrients they need to survive.
Then it will evolve, they will make suits with this shit built into it, but that isn't enough, people will get implants and cybernetic enhancements so all this shit is on their bodies and works more effectively the worlds fatties will slowly turn into cyborgs one at a time...

Why pay thousands of dollars to look shit with that plastic thing between your abs instead of doing pic related.

>the worlds fatties will slowly turn into cyborgs one at a time...
This will obviously start a war (humans v cyborgs) that will wipe out the entire human race.... and why? because some people cannot stop shoving tons of shitty food down their throat.

Can just imagine this showing up on My 600lb Life:

"When I found out about the stomach cathater, thing, to siphen out all this fat, I ate much more everyday because i thought i was going to lose weight.

I thought the whole idea of it was i could eat more and still lose weight?"

I bet my left remaining testicle.

So is the reason Veeky Forums is against this is because it makes losing weight easier?
Im confused, dont you hate that people are fat/obese?

>inb4 you need to be a certain (lower) weight to be able to undergo this sugery
Fatties will always stay fat.

But when they get skinny their habits won't have changed at all

They will still overeat and have to keep that shit in for as long as they don't want to gain weight bacl

We hate it because fat people will just be able to eat non stop without the consequences.

Dont you see why this is retarded? These people who wont stop eating will now just be able to eat even more.

This is wrong on so many levels
Psychologically and mentally it does not solve the problem that person with the surgery will still crave food and will have place to put it to. It might just lead to even more eating since eating that much is an addiction, this just potentially enables them to eat even more.
Ethically this is even more disgusting, you basically encourage them to waste food which is already a huge problem in the USA.

That's where im confused i suppose.
You would rather there be consequences than results?

>risking stomach acid on your esophagus

its like you dont even know the purpose of this device. Too many young girls are lost to throat cancer. Throat cancer caused by multiple episodes of bulimia resulting in eating and purging, the stomach acid eroding away theyre lining. This provides our girls a safe way to continue their mental health issues without any of the health risk

>what is gag reflex

>people get this device
>go to all you can eat buffet
>spend all day eating then going to the toilet to dump

You just know it will happen. The wastefulness of it would be amazing to witness

So what? You werent worried about the waste before but now youre suddenly triggered?

Something you eventually lose in the locker room

What about there being a possibility of a bacteria infection through the lining of the inserted tube?

So it is artificial willpower.

Pathetic.

What results? Removing the food will just make them hungry again and they'll eat more. It's not going to work, and will just make things worse.

No, "artificial willpower" would be a robot that slaps the food out of your hand before you eat it. Or something simple like a time lock on the fridge. This is literally training them to not have willpower.

> the population has become so lazy that altering their bodies permanently in a disgusting fashion is preferable to just eating less
> they would rather be disgusting forever and leak the contents of their stomach AND throw away food than just eat less

Ahhh.. america...

Guys, you're looking at this all wrong. This is the perfect suicide machine, you can pour pills down your stomach tube without setting off your gag reflex. Finally a painless way out

This feels like they've figured out a better bulimia.

It doesn't really make sense to me. Won't people just be hungry again when they drain food out of their stomachs? Or is this just about getting the satisfaction of eating without any of the calories?

Yeah but you just flush that shit out again, eat all day flush all day. You can just leave the thing open and eat in front of the toilet while it pours out.

I have a feeling it's just going to lead to the fats to start eating more terrible, possibly actually toxic things. Things so bad that this isn't even going to keep them from dying.

So more disgusting vomiting? How would you keep the tube clean???

I would be fucking terrified all the time that one of those tubes starts leaking and everything gets infected.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahah

So this is the Power of MURICA

Are your people literally this stupid and lazy?

So basically a good invention.

Colbert parodied this ages ago
youtube.com/watch?v=kTegnTaB2-A

Looks painful desu
I'd rather just vomit

Wow, what a great tube.

>people were eating for the purpose of dumping it all out and then continuing to eat before

why don't these fat fucks just put a cone around their head so they can't eat so much?

youtu.be/UU04OfMa2bc

me me i'm a food tuber

Well there it is.

A surgically implantable eating disorder.

>using the food tube instead of the new revolutionary stomach doubling process
What is this, the stone age?

There's little money in cures, but lots in long-term treatments. I can't wait to see what disorder they monetize next.

We truly live in a dystopian future.

My money's on compulsive masturbation.

...

>There's little money in cures, but lots in long-term treatments. I can't wait to see what disorder they monetize next.

Bullshit. if someone found a cure they would immediately market it and make bank. There isn't some global conspiracy at play here that all of academia and industry are in on.

Yeah no ones denying that a cure wouldnt make money but rather i think what he means is the big money makers for pharmaceutical industries are cholesterol and blood pressure medications. The proportion of a population on this type of stuff and the fact that once on it very few people ever come off means theyre cash cows. Pharmaceutical R&D isnt cheap. It takes a billion dollars and up to 15yrs before a drug hits the market.

I dont blame my company for milking their profitable shit the same way activision pumps out call of duty year after year. Im not saying theres a big conspiracy where they have a cure and hide it, load of shit imo, just that its not a safe bet right now to cure such a cash cow by investing billions that youll make real quick by simply selling your treatments. Nothing sinister, just a simple cost benefit thing

chad doesn't drain shit you stupid fuck
gb2 reddit
you would be draining after you count calories after going to the gym hard and then sleeping for exactly 9.3 hours at night
chad is eating pizza then drinking at the club

so basically, fatasses will end up killing themselves from nutrient deficiencies due to achlorhydria.

I have to hand it to the govt, this is a very sneaky way of cleansing the population.

I wonder what happens if someone with one of these gets fatter.

Will the tube rip out of the stomach?

Your doctor will simply install a longer tube, he has your best interests at heart of course

You got a nice set of chompers there

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I think he means the fatties that use this wont create good habits so that they can lose weight without using aspire

i dont see how this is better than some good old fashioned vomiting.

KEK

The future is here

he's right

>someone people will now consume more on average just because they can

wonderful idea

please kill me

>FDA approved bulimia

What the actual fuck.