I'm new to this board but i'm gonna get straight to the point...

I'm new to this board but i'm gonna get straight to the point, i'm a fat shit who is tired of being a virgin with big man titties.
I am about 5'11 and 243 pounds. my diet usually consists of fast food, pasta, snacks, etc. and i never exercise at all. Give me the fastest method to lose about 50 pounds. This includes which specific exercises I should part take in daily and how long I should do them for, and also what is the best possible diet daily.

also
>inb4 bu-but read the stickies
yes i read the sticky, it is useless as fuck

bump

2nd bump

Sticky isn't useless.

Grow up

VLCD shakes and walking at good speed a couple hours each day. Wil get you there in 6-7 weeks.

Cut off a leg

>I eat too much shit
>I don't exercise
>sticky tells me to eat less shit and exercise, therefore sticky is useless
wat do?

jeez am I really that fat?, I mean i'm kinda like seth rogen fat except slightly fatter

Useless as fuck?

If you followed the advice in the sticky you wouldn't be a landwhale you moron

>fastest way to lose 50 pounds

2 weeks before you claim "muh genetics" and get on the body shaming train. No wonder you look like shit, your mind is full of shit and so is your attitude.

looks like somebody isnt in a good mood, haha am I right guys? alright simmer down hothead

Enjoy your shit body. I'll think of you tonight when a random hottie is getting wet over my abs.

Bye

ok insecure beta cuck, i will be on the sidelines cheering you on

laughing at you op

>guys pls help
>read the sticky
>no fuck you haha beta cuck xdddd

never going to make it

but I'm going to give you a bone, you retarded manchild
take what you eat
and eat half of that from now on
don't forgot to post your ugly ass gyno in CBT threads :^)

But Michael changs short cut to abs

Get a bench press and a squat rack and work out at home, or go to the gym. Do the basic stuff, squat, deadlift, OHP, bench, dips. Don't eat any fast food. Count calories. Start eating fruits instead of candy. Drink moderate amount of alcohol, and don't try running or some shit like that because you're still too fat.

>yes i read the sticky, it is useless as fuck
Never gonna make it. Leave.

Do Greg Nuckols' 28 free programs.

Read what you wrote op, you literally told yourself how to lose weight, go for a walk and eat right. There is no one month secret, it will take along time to lose weight but considering your other posts you must be 16 so you have plenty of time

Enjoy being a worthless fat virgin for the rest of your life OP

Can't even read the simple sticky properly to understand all you have to do is eat less and move more

Pro tip if your fat you can still swim but your probably poor too so couldn't afford a pool membership

SOMEONE GET THIS HOTHEAD OUTTA HERE

Since you are an obese motherfucker, I'd recommend intensive exercise. Start with your diet. Do some low-impact cardio and strengthing (swimming, water shit, go to an old lady class you'd probably fit in with your moobs and general bitchiness) Since you are clearly retarded, I would go to a nutritionist who specializes in weight-loss. Throw away that junk food too. Spend most of the day out of the house (preferably in places with people thinner than you) and not eating unless it's food okayed by the nutritionist.

*recommend against intensive exercise, now I'm the retard.

Get rid of bad shit in your house like processed foods and white bread.

Drink only water

Do cardio at first. If you try going into lifting immediately you'll fail

Eat protein and steamed veggies

Learn what the sticky says

Try a keto diet you fat fuck. I went from 375 to 260 in 11 months. I could have lost weight faster but looae skin is a big issue. 6'4 for reference.Goal is 220. Check out ruled.me for info but ignore their shitty recipes. Go on a strict no carb diet. Fuck those macros. Just eat enough fat to stim high ketosis and enough protein to not lose muscle. Get some free weights for simple home exercise.