Kill Me Now Pls

>me
>wanna build muscle
>get my parents to buy 15lb and 20lbs dumbbells
>5 months later gains are mediocre at best
>call gym up
>is $275 for a year, probably alot less than what my mom spends my dad's hard earned money on smokes and "magic lotions"
>mom doesn't work
>dumb bitch, she even failed to kill herself
>now she's gaining weight steadily showing no signs of letting it up
>mfw my dad is in better shape than most 30 year olds and he is a truck driver that spends 80% of his time on the road down in the states
>mom is a fucking druggie, needs her tobacco and coffee, will chug booze if my dad buys some from the states
>anyways, really sad lately because no matter how I lift those shitty 20lb weights I will never be strong like my dad
>ask mom for the membership, tell her I will bike there and back (28km) I can already do 14km in an hour
>still no because I am a drop out (dropped out at age 15 because I was bullied for 2 years am 18 now)

What the fuck am I supposed to do?

I would rather be a fit loser than a skinnyfat loser what's wrong with that?

Get a job, you cuck.

get a job, move out, lift.

get a job

Get a job you pathetic NEET. No one's going to hold your hand.

Do you not have a job?

You got bigger problems than a fucking gym membership, user

I don't have an education

If you think you cant get a job cause no education or something take up a loan on a trade course get an apprenticeship, earn and learn bruh.

Why don't you get a minimum wage job and pay for it like a big boy

The military was made for people like you. Get your GED, join the army ( or air force/navy if you can)
You will thank me.

Start flipping burgers you lazy fuck

I'm not a big fan of the military but I agree it sounds perfect for a pathetic piece of shit like OP.

Get a job, who fucking cares about lifting if you can't even eat

Dont join the military thats the ultimate cuck life.

I will probably get my GED and enlisting sounds worthwhile

Well I live in the middle of nowhere, nearest city is 120km away kinda hard for jobs

I'm going to jump on the military train. You don't sound retarded. You sound like you need a framework to start your life. Get GED -> Join military -> Go to college.

trade course? so like stocks and shit, cause I have been learning a bit about that. I actually used my $6 I had in btc and traded some altcoins and made that $6 into $11.

As opposed to crying on Mongolian umbrella decoration bulletin board about how his mummy won't buy him a gym membership?

You're a literal retard. Perfect for the military.

how so?

Find a playground and use the bars to do body weight exercises & do inverted pushups against the wall. Where there's a will there's a way boy stop making excuses.

Thinking is a liability. Do as you're told, how you're told, when you're told.

...

Canada? Russia? Wheree the fuck are you 120km from a fucking city?!

no i mean like construction trade. Once you finish a short term course of practical and academic study the course will offer to put you straight into an apprenticeship with a company.

well I already lift 20lbs are body weight exercises really worth it?

Your family sounds like toxic crabs. Get a job and cut ties asap.

Canada

My dad is an awesome fucking guy but my mom is useless and dumb

I agree, get a job. I'm not sure whether you should join the army, I think there's better ways, but then again I'm European and don't know much about the situation on the other side of the pond. And I agree that it might be good for a framework of discipline.

Another good tip for you, OP, if you want to get good gains on a budget: home gym.
You need barbell, about 250 lbs of weight, a bench and a rack. If you get it on craigslist, it'll barely cost more than a gym membership, but it'll last forever, and if you decide to stop lifting (or go to the gym) you can sell it, leaving you with almost zero loss.

yeah you got a point but as I said I live in a rural area and nobody sells any shit here

You might have to suck it up and ask your dad for a job

Kill your mom, go to jail , there's a gym there. Two birds my friend

even more reason to get a home gym. If you would bike to the gym in your vicinity, you'd have a hard time making any gains at all. I got my shit off ebay, my whole gym cost like 200 €. Most important thing to get are the plates, you can get the barbell itself, the bench and the rack off some fitness store.

>Go to a trade school and take up welding
>Roll on the floor with money
>????
>Profit!

Reading through this thread and it's pretty clear that the only thing you're interested in is making excuses.

Stop being such a fucking faggot and get out of there.

don't forget the motivation boost.
how old are you OP?
the sticky has a lot of good information. you should read it.
also look up some bodyweight programs to add to your lightweight dumbbells.

just hte way you write your messages its obvious youre fucking retarded im actually mad

In case you are serious:

Just a single month of any part time work will already earn you enough to either pay for 1 year gym or buy your own equipment. All you need is a power rack, a long barbell and about 100kg of fitting weights - should cost you about $400 at most, will last you a lifetime and save you the trouble of going to gym.

Now get off the board you underage fuck.

make your own homegym, you'll just need a pair of adjustable dumbbells with plates up to 40-50kg, a backpack to do weighted push-ups, a pull up bar and a pair of gymnastics rings for dips (and a place to hang them), won't exceed more than 70-80€. This is the routine you'll need to follow, and boom, you have something to progress on and get gains for at least 2-3 years:

Running (or any cardio): xxRxxRx
Lifts: ABxABxx

A
pushups 3x8
dips 3x8
dumbbell flyes 3x8
lateral raises 3x8
skullcrushers 3x8
front raises / dumbbell overhead press 3x8
(pistol) squats 3x8

B
planks 3x45" / hanging leg raises 3xF
supermans 3x45"
pullups 3x8
chinups 3x8
dumbbell rows 3x8
curls 3x8
hammer curls 3x8
lungs 3x8
dumbbell side bends 3x8

18 isnt underage anymore

Tbqh mi familio, i joined the army 5 months Ago and dont regret it at all, my job is working out and shooting C7, C9 and C6,etc. If you wanna get fit join infantry, also danger pay is pretty good if you get deployed and most workdays finish at noon or 1430 and start at 0730 but you only workout on workdays so best job in the world.

If this thread proves anything is that it bloody well should be

You sound like a quitter. When life hands you an easy mode obstacle you`re like "welp FML, I give up". I`d tell you to get a job dead lifting boxes but you`re better off doing pushups bicycle crunches, sit-ups long walks with a weighted backpack,lifting trashbags of water in the tub and pullups/chin ups on anything you can find that you can hang off. Until you decide thats too hard and quit that too. You`re just a quitter and your mom realizes it would be a year membership for maybe a month of gym attendance until you quit. Also gym ppl will laugh at you when you go there and then you will cry so she's actually sparing her money and your feelings.

>Dad is 30
>You're apparently 18
Kek.

Also, get a job. Fund it yourself. Save. Until then, it's probably better to stay and make sure your parents don't die or something.

getting a fucking gym membership is the last thing you should be worried about unless you want to end up like your dumbfuck parents

you don't have an education? oh well then, fuck everything, just sit there and complain about your life being shitty right?

go back to school and finish it.then learn a trade and start working.
as for the Veeky Forums part you can do pullups pushups squats and dips at home.are you telling me you can do 10 pullups with 20kg hanging from u?
i guess you dont.
can you do 50 pushups?i guess you cant do this either.
git good

He didnt say his dad is 30 you dummie

>dropping out of school at age 15


Wtf is wrong with you

No he didn't, but he did suggest it.

body weight plus restiance bands

Logistics. Your dad drives a truck, maybe he can ask a contact at a local warehouse if his loser son can have a job there.

No, he said his Dad was as fit as a 30 year old.

Option 1:
Flip Burgers
Option 2:
Sell drugs

Tell me where to buy those dumbbells for under 70 euros.

Bruv you sound like you have ZERO MOTIVATION.

I was in the same situation as you pretty much. Drop out at 16 (21 now) and all I did was sit at home being a little bitch while mum killed herself with drugs and alcohol.

One day I got up, went out with resumes and got a shitty job somewhere.
I moved out of home with some other drug fucked cunts which really didnt bother me they were kool then found a gym.

Fuck ya mum off and live for yourself. You're only 18 brah everything will be good once YOU do something about it.

Go be a hero

Fucking this, user.

Joining the military was literally the best thing that ever happened to me and if I didn't do it I would still be working a dead end job and living with my parents.

>Joined Navy
>lived in Japan for 4 years
> Traveled to 70% as pacific asia
>Have college money while everyone pays 30,000+ in school loans

Military was amazing. Fuck what anyone says, honestly I've done more shit by 22 than some asshole talking shit will by the time he is 50. I recommend it, especially if your current life blows

This OP. Rake in the dough while also having a dope ass job. Check out underwater welding, thats a killer job.

We're all gonna make it user

LISTEN TO ME OP!!! YOU WANNA GET SOMETHING DONE? THEN YOU. FUCKING. DO ITTTTT!!!

GET OUT THERE, RIGHT NOW! NOT IN THE MORNING, NOT IN AN HOUR, BUT NOWWWW. NOW YOU KEEP WALKING OR BIKING OR SOMETHING UNTIL YOU SEE A STORE THAT SAYS HELP WANTED, AND YOU GIVE THEM ALL THE HELP THEY FUCKIN WANT

YOU MAKE THE CASH AND YOU LIFT NIGGA


YOU
CAN
DO
IT

JUST NEVER /EVER/ GIVE UP!

Wish is was easy to join the military in my country. Here you have to take a shitload of tests and then be in the top 100 Or so to get selected. Then you have to go to military school for a year (payed but if you drop-out you have to refund quite a bit) and then you can finally John the military.
The testing is quite harsh here aswell, aced all tests but got declined as soon as they fiund out I'm allergic to gluten

you're not going to get anything done if you moan about whats holding you back

you have two good arms and enough functioning synapses to do some simple problem solving and reasoning? pick up a trade, there's always people looking for apprentices

"get a job" doesn't mean you need to be a brainiac crunching numbers all day, it means applying yourself in a field you can actually manage in without fucking up or loathing yourself

>TL;DR thinking about the negatives is only going to hold you back by putting you into a negative mindset, become a better person takes a corny amount of inner strength too

unless you're a starving african child who's typing this on the phone their UNICEF missionary dropped, body weight exercises will be useful while you're still doing 20lbs

get a job flipping burgers to pay for gym membership? You don't even go to school.

sounds like you need more good boy points

so many accessories, so little deadlifts
>straight buster

Stop making fucking excuses. If you wanted a job you would fucking bike all the way there with no complaints. Have fun living your shitty life. This is your doing. Pussy.

OK, this is a troll thread then. Good to know.

That's a non sequitur. Get an unskilled or entry level job. There exists such a thing as workplace training, also night classes.

Your real problem is living with your bitch mother. Focus on changing that and everything else will fall into place.

Get you a job, do night classes for GED, and use the money from your job to get a gym membership. You're 18, you don't need your parent's permissions to get your life together and out of the shits. Godspeed.

kill yourself your life is shit m8

...

>take up underwater welding
>make mad cash for 10 years
>body becomes useless and shakes non stop due to constant change in pressure
>being trapped in destroyed body means you can't enjoy using dough

Kek

This joined USAF smashed bitches all over asia felt good

>mfw this is what you get for staying together

Marriage is a meme. Single parent-kids do way better.

>trade school
>welding
>flip burgers in the meantime
Problem solved.

CHAD moves out and gets A DEGREE while YOU live with YOUR PARENTS and CRY

i love you Veeky Forums

That's a hard life you got user, I'm very sorry for you

Try looking into callisthenics