*record scratch*

*record scratch*

*freeze frame*

Yup, that's me. Now I know what you're thinking. "How did the greatest Empire in history come crashing down?" Well it wasn't always like this lemme tell ya. Let's go back just a bit to when this all started...

*record scratch*

*freeze frame*

Yup, that's me. Now I know what you're thinking. "How did the greatest Empire in history come crashing down?" Well it wasn't always like this lemme tell ya. Let's go back just a bit to when this all started...

*record scratch*

*freeze frame*

Yup, that's me. Now I know what you're thinking. "How did the greatest South American empire in history come crashing down?" Well it wasn't always like this lemme tell ya. Let's go back just a bit to when this all started...

*baba o'reilly plays*

>3 posts
>1 IP
great job op

*record scratch*

*freeze frame*

Yup, that's me. Now I know what you're thinking. "How did the worst country in history come crashing down?" Well it wasn't always like this lemme tell ya. Let's go back just a bit to when this all started...

Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaants iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiingonyamaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa bagithi Baba

> "How did the greatest Empire in history come crashing down?"

Fucktards forgot to close the damn gates behind them.

How the fuck do you do that?

The greatest empire in Europe would begin as a result of this.

It all started in 753 BC in Rome, and ended at 1453 AD in Constantinople.

Damn, just think about it.

Technically Russia still has a claim to being the Third Rome and has historically considered itself an inheritor of the Eastern Roman Empire.

...

*record scratch*

*freeze frame*

Yup, that's me. Now I know what you're thinking. "How did the greatest consul in history get molten gold poured down his throat?" Well it wasn't always like this lemme tell ya. Let's go back just a bit to when this all started...

>"How did the greatest Empire in history begin?"
ftfy

image should be inca ruler, or change south america to mesoamerica for moctezuma to make sense.

They lost the claim to Finland after the bolshevik revolution

*record scratch*

*freeze frame*

Yup, that's me. Now I know what you're thinking. "How did one of the greatest hapsburgs ruin spains economy?" Well it wasn't always like that lemme tell ya. Let's go back just a bit to when this all started...

*music plays*

...back when I claimed my throne as king of spain...

*intro plays*

>THE LIFE AND TIMES OF CHARLES V

Poor Charlie, I feel bad for this guy. His dickhead brother his dickhead son. The dickhead pope. That stupid fucking Saxon

>fade to black
>cut to Romulus waking up
>"oh no we're late! REMUS WAKE UP!! Have you forgotten what day it is!?"
>cut to Romulus and Remus (with messy hair and a groggy look about him) riding horses toward a town with a large group of people
>"Everyone's already there! If it wasnt't for you Remus I would have been able to greet everyone as they arrived"
>"Heh, does it matter who's first? Last night I was last, together with this wonderful lass from the tavern... shame you missed her! Although I doubt you would have known what to do with her, hahahaha"
>"You take things to lightly Remus, this is no laughing matter! Our future is at stake!"
>"I almost forgot, you always were the serious one... lighten up will you? The gods would like some lightheartedness every once in a while! It would do you good, especially today"
>Camera pans away and films some doves sitting in a tree, fade to black
>Cut to Remus, standing relaxed and looking at the sky
>"There! You see? Six doves! If this doesn't mean the gods favor me then I don't know what will! Hahaha! *grabs tavern lass by the ass*
>cut to Romulus' eyes frantically scanning around
>*voice over* come on... come on... this can't be! What have I ever done wr.. wait! *shouts* BEHOLD! Instead of six, a glorious TWELVE doves were sent to show my divine favor! I knew it!
>Remus: "well I guess I was wrong, however I'm glad because I know the gods favor me in some degree despite what some would call, my weaknesses..."
>*anime teleport sounds*
>Romulus: "iam mortuus es..."
>Remus: "q-quid es?!"
>Romulus stabs Remus in the back, Remus dies with a saddened look on his face
>"Now I, Romulus, will be known as the founding father of Rome(TM) and the Romans(TM)!
>cut to black screen
>to be continued ... ?

*footage of some kids sucking on wolf-tits*

Woah woah, not that far back!

...

10/10 m8

No.

“rape and murder” plays

*Gimme Shelter starts*
[arrows rain down on a Roman army crossing through forest]
Ever since I was a kid, I always wanted to be a warlord
[Vercingetorix bursts out of the trees, fire in his eyes]
“Looks like these Romans are far from home boys. Let’s send them back!”
[freezeframe on Vercingetorix‘s face, sword drawn, freezeframe fades out]
*Something Happening starts playing*
Fadein to Vercingetorix‘s village. He’s there as a kid. He’s playing with his sister. A Roman ballista fires a rock through the trees. Flames everywhere.
“I changed that day. We used to think of ourselves as Roman. Now we were the hunter, and the hunted.”
*in the eeeeeevening plays*
We had to become what we feared.
[Vercingetorix is painting warpaint on his face in the dark in the jungle, Roman soldiers firing wildly into the trees, drunk and restless, the moon stilled by a cloud of low cover.]
“They weren’t the only people who knew how to build an empire.”
Yada yada yada
Vercingetorix collapses on his knees, on an open field, lifting his hands up, watching the last flickers of an unpitying sun as the arrows piercing his chest let out the last of his life. He smiles.
*Hallelujah starts playing*
View of his descendants spreading out across Europe, from Ireland into the New World, eventually leading the writer to his rainy apartment in 1950s LA. He opens the blinds, and pours himself a scotch. Fade to black.

Yeah, and Germans claimed to be successors to Rome too. Claiming something doesn't make it the truth

WE

>Montezuma wearing North American style feather headdress
Lol

*record scratch*
*freeze frame*

That's me, Conrad of Austria. In 1914, I royally fucked up the war for my county SO BAD, that it collapsed after only a few years.

So how did this happen? Well, let's go back...

*music plays*

...back before all of this remotely happened...

*intro plays*

>CONRAD