Fit help me, you're my only hope

Fit help me, you're my only hope.

ask her if she does GOMAD

>hit me up bitch, I'm aquaman

heh... well it looks like you just activated my trap card!
*unseathes feminine penis*

"Play my cards right huh? Alright
*draws 2 cards*
Hmm, ace of hearts and queen of diamonds, that's... blackjack.
So how about that kiss sweety? Give me your firm pretty lips"

your name vivian my name is big baby i go poopy poopy poopy and hope you love me

whore

If you're not a bitch, you'll start an incredibly intricate and detailed role play of a yugioh match

>How about we play with open cards, I don't like risking my chance with you

Say something funny involving your daddy's gold card and your figurative mountain of literal monopoly money.

Preferably with a pic of said monopoly money.

All good responses. Now, OP, do you understand that you should always come to Veeky Forums for your dating needs? We got your back, dude. :)

Ik you're kidding and all but godamn did that make me cringe

is everyone here 13 what hte fuck

"I can destroy a piece of fish (i.e. eat pussy) if you know what I mean :)"

Pro pickup artist here - go with this.

"Card games are for children. I am a gentleman :)"

shows you are confident and mature

I'd dolph into that ass

*plays dark magician in attack position*

your move... kid

U must be a sperm whale cause you.look like you can take a good dick

YES

It's time to d-d-d-d-ddddDuel.

I laughed

>asian girls

Give 'er the ol' lickeroo

kek'd audibly and suddenly

XD good one, keked hard, well meme'Đ

But dolphins don't play cards. They don't have opposable thumbs.

just tell her something like 'so is this when I bust out the yugioh deck and invite you over?'

You could always add 'that's not the only thing I'll be busting tonight' if you're feeling confident and she wants the D

This guy is trolling you.
This is how you become a
>"nice guy"

Call her a bitch and tell her to play her cards right. Why does every girl think they're a catch?

Kek this

Ask her if shes an archeologist

Send her a pic of your dick. Post response.

Take this to /b/, we lift cause we're autistic. We only get laid because we look good. /b/ will give you some actual good replies.

Wow, you really are autistic.

What did you mean by this? Really makes you think.

>Coming to an indo-european agrarian tapestry trading board for dating advice

...

>/b/
>good
Wut?

Ive been utterly depressed and my mood has been smashed to bits from recent events but this gave me a smile and made me laugh

thanks

/b/ replies are funny and ballsy, every time I've used them they've gotten me laid.

The more I read this the more I laugh

>"How's about I squirt a bit of 'chup on that ass, ma'am?"

If you don't gamble, you never win. That's the best option. Send context of chat

OP pls

...

It's only because your mom feels bad for you

do this pls and throw in a dolphin emoji at the end

>im really good at go fish tbqh. what are you up to this weekend?