You have a son. How do you go about making them Veeky Forums, what do you let him do and not do?

This t b h
And on his 13th birthday he starts weight training with his old man. We have a shot of whiskey afterward.
>tfw trying for a year now to have a kiddo.
>tfw wife had 5th miscarriage 2 months ago.
>tfw she burst into tears for 2 hours when the doc asked her if she wanted to keep trying.
Just fuck me all up brehs, is this what I get for waiting until we're almost 30?...

>waiting until we're almost 30?...

that's the ticket. got to start early for maximum family gains.

Really sorry to hear that bro. The wife and I are planning to wait until ~30 too. How far along does she get before she miscarries if you don't mind me asking?

>sign him up for sports like gymnastics and swimming when he's about 4
>make sure that he almost never eats junk food or sees his parents eating junk
>get a home gym so he can see his parents exercising even before he's old enough to join in
>don't buy him vidya or let him have his own computer
>give him a shitty phone that can only play vidya like Tetris, make him give it to me every night so that he can't stay up late texting
>make him play some sort of team sport like football
>make him do some sort of martial arts so that he can stand up for himself if someone try's to bully him
>do stuff outside like camping
Inb4 he'll hate you for being this strict, having a child who hates me is a small price to pay for having a strong, successful and independent son

>waiting until you're 30
Really fucking stupid decision senpai, women's fertility sinks like a stone in their late twenties

>firearms
>lifting
>rugby

Leave the rest up to nature.

feed him well.
>eat breakfast and dinner together EVERY DAY
>Stock the house with real healthy food
>involve him in the making of meals
>talk to him about his day
>breakfast: what are you excited about doing today
>dinner: what did you do today, how do you feel about it

create a matrix of activity
>Play outside/ in the woods
>a Martial art
>rock climbing
>team sports
>Hiking
>biking
>swimming in the summers

teach him about his body
>pretend like I'm kelly starrett

>Feed Protein shakes to mom all through pregnancy and after birth
>Baby gets whey protein enriched breast milk
>Soon as he can crawl tie tiny weights to him
>crawls on the floor making baby gains
>Put weights on his rattle and teddy ruxpin
>If he wants to play he has to lift.

At two when he gets on the bottle
>Put whey in the bottle
>Give him his first set of ankle weights
>begin teaching bodyweight exercises as soon as he can walk.

>muh growth plates

The reality is the science is inconclusive.
He can get his 2.5bw squat from age 18-20

>absolutely forbid my son from ever stepping inside a gym by repeatedly telling him throughout his childhood how gyms are evil and never giving a satisfying explanation as to why

Easy as fuck.

Waiting until your wife is 30 to have kids is an incredibly bad idea

abcnews.go.com/GMA/OnCall/women-fertility-falls-lose-90-percent-eggs-30/story?id=9693015

Good dad right here folks. TALK TO YOUR KIDS GODDAMMIT.

Gonna be treading new grounds if I ever have a kid
Most quality time I ever spent with my dad was him taking about 30 seconds to teach me how to shave
>Slaps the foam on my face
>Gives me the razor
>"Drag this across your face till all the foam is gone"
>Goes to his room to smoke weed

....fucking brilliant, desu

I am pretty sure i am going to be your dad lmao

From ages 2-5
>Progressively up the ankle weights slowly but surely
>Begin feeding him lots of lean, shredded chicken in addition to his daily THREE SCOOPS
>Instead of sitting him in the corner punish him with calisthenics

From ages 5-7
>Diet is extremely regulated. Begin putting lil Gains Jr. on a light bulk
>Begin beginner weightlifting routine consisting solely of whatever dumbbells he can manage

The reality is look at russian weightlifters who start training at 11-12 with programs that focus almost exclusively on high bar squats.

From Ages 7-12
>Begin SS + GOMAD
>5,000 Calories per day
>Tell him rippletits is god
>Make son pray to rippletits

From Ages 12-18
>Start Son on fully fledged Lifting routine
>Tell Son it's time he became a man
>Give him his first bag of mutant mass
>4 SCOOPS C'MON

Terribly meme'd

I will not have my son circumsised like we do to most boys in this fucked up nation. Feed him a diet free of flourine, endocrine disruptors, xenoestrogens, msg, high fructose corn syrup, and other cancerous bullshit. We'll grow and harvest as much of our food as we can ourselves. Best thing you can teach a child early on is the importance of self reliance and hard work.

Get the little shit outside and spend quality father-son bonding time going on hikes, rock climbing, backpacking, trailrunning, travel, etc, forming an early liking for physical activity and love of the outdoors. Encourage him to do school team sports and lift with his friends once old enough.

Have him grow up somewhere lush and beautiful so he learns to respect and appreciate the natural world. Teach the boy how to hunt and prepare his own food so he will always be able to provide for himself and understand that killing animals is ok under the right circumstance.

Help him figure out what he loves to do and foster his interests and talents. Encourage him to pursue what he loves in a constructive manner. Talk to the kid and teach the importance of open/ honest communication even when it's difficult. Listen to him while still pushing things in the right direction. Encourage him to do things that push his boundaries an make himself uncomfortable within reason.

Browse Veeky Forums together

>Browse Veeky Forums together

>I will not have my son circumsised like we do to most boys in this fucked up nation.

As a dude who was not circumcised I still don't know what I'll do about this if I have a son. I grew up getting made fun of quite a lot and it made me really uncomfortable about my penis. This led me to avoiding sexual relationships until late high school (despite having multiple qt obviously showing interest in me) because I was ashamed. Doesn't help when you hear people joke about how gross not being circumcised is when you're sitting right there.

Visit foregen.org and any of the NORM or NOCIRC websites for more clinical research information and scholarly articles/ experiment documentation done on the well documented physical/ psychological harm that circumcision causes. Please do not circumcision your son, it is excruciatingly painful and has many negative effects on a man's life. There's a reason why rates are dropping here in the United states and all around the world steadily. The arguments for male circumcision are virtually identical to those made for female circumcision, because both are equally as damaging and barbaric.

Tjough it may be hard, teach your son to accept and celebrate his own natural body and do not mutilate him for society's sake.

I can beat that
>"Dad, how do I sha-"
>"GOOGLE IT"

If it makes you feel any better most dudes who do get circumcised wish they weren't. Or at least I do and most of the dudes I've talked too

5 months or less. Once got to 6...

If there was an actual reason for getting circumcised I wish they would wait till we were adults to get it done, not without our fucking permission.

18 years of extra dying out of penis is fucking absurd. Gotta sit here and moisturize and use vitamin e mineral extract shit on my dick and I just want to jerk off, but can't.

You guys are going to fuck up your kids and make them autistic, they are going to be weirdos at school whose parents don't let them play vidya or eat junk food.

Teach them how to manage a diet, show them you can eat unhealthy stuff on occasion as long as you balance it out. Encourage and support them doing outdoor activities and sports. Tell them them to always strive to be the best they can be and not settle.

The rest is up to them, you can't force somebody to make it.

If I had a son
I would take my wife and him to the Tibetan himilayas and we would become goat farmers and live with a nomadic tribe
I would have him and myself taught tibetan martial arts and meditation
We would work out all the time
If he refused to workout I would beat the shit out of him
I'm trying to forge the perfect warrior here not a pussy
I don't even let him know TV or the outside world exists
I teach him that the rest of humanity died in a apocalypse
When he reaches age 16, I will secretly don the disguise of my alter ego, his nemesis
As his nemesis I will kill his mother, while he watches, and dramatically let him know it was me, and that he can find me on the steepest peak of the tallest mountain, for his revenge
On that mountain we shall fight to the death, and as he beats me on the ground, and takes off my mask, I will reveal to him, son, it was me, all along, your father.
After that I don't know...But I'm sure his life will turn out great as I will have trained him well.

>homeschool my son
>force vegetables on him early
>no screen time until 8 or 9 years old
>swim lessons obviously
>dance lessons early on so he talks to girls
>frequent and varied cooking lessons
>no junk food in the house ever, outside is okay on occasion

My parents never bought me a vidya game. I played n64 and shit at friends' but I never had anything in our own house. My parents didn't care if I played video games, they just never saw the need to buy me one. If I was home I had to figure out other ways to entertain myself...which usually entailed legos, hotwheels, or running around outside.