How does one get a social life in their mid-late 20s?

No, not like those. Places women want to be seen at. Granted, women may want to be seen at Drake shows but you don't want to be seen with those women.

If you have no concept of cool or interesting or fun - find random stranger women on instagram and see where they've taken selfies at in the past. That's where they want to go. So then you pick up some tickets to that type of event and find chicks to converse with - after a few minutes tell them that you got tickets to whatever from a friend that works at a promotional company and ask them if they wanna go.

Maybe that's the way things work for you friendo, but there is an art to starting conversations with people you don't know, not that I'd expect any of the children that populate Veeky Forums to have developed that skill-set yet. Besides which the OP is talking about 'having a social life', not 'hooking up with club sluts', which is what you, in your mindless-breeder way apparently are focused on.

>and ask them if they wanna go.
so pay girls to hang out with me? that's your advice?

>then just go out and do stuff.
what kind of stuff?

The only true friends i have left are all from childhood.

The new people i meet are just really only acquaintances at the end of the day.

I am 29.

I find it very difficult to make NEW true friends, everyone just seems to be focusing on getting resources at this stage, very little time to invest in forming new true friendships, most people at this age are just focusing on finding other people they can use for progressing their own career/earnings potential etc.

you cant just bust into someones social circle randomly, you need a good reason

noone wants a random drunk at a bar to talk to them if they are in a group, etc.

No, you're just unlikable.

anything

go shopping, malls etc, just go in places with people

personally I dont like going to bars solo, cause if you have a bad night you are just going to want to drink lots. also alcohol is shitty when you are cutting.

>you cant just bust into someones social circle randomly,
No, you can't, and you're just proving my point: You don't have the skill-set to start conversations with random people in a public place. You're young and you're dumb and you probably don't have much personality, imagination, or sense of humor, let alone the ability to read people. You're not ready. Come back in a few years when you're not 12, OK?

>friendship only exist in childhood

The only reason it exists is because you see the same people almost for 8 hrs a day and always in close proximity. You take that away then you really have no attachments to anyone.

Try going to a different gym then your regular one and see how you are considered an "Outsider," Even though you probably lift more than most of the people in there.

You wanna have a social life - this is what social life means after college - going to places with women and then maybe going to other places with other couples.

How you got "pay girls to hang out" from what I wrote is beyond me.

im just realistic

girls arent stupid, they know you are talking to them cause you want to fuck them. which makes talking to girls in groups a no-go. also, it's better when you both have a mutual interest, makes conversation a lot easier.

still, it's pretty hard to meet people after you are 25+. way easier when you are younger.

>try to get a social life
>"go to meetups" they said
>go to meetups
>it's literally all dudes

socializing is just guys trying to find girls to fuck. once you're out of highschool it's just a crapshoot, the good girls are taken and a bunch of thirsty dudes are tripping over each other to get at the used up sluts.
I tried to go into this with the most positive attitude I could but its literally all it is.

Get a job.

Hang out with a few co-workers.

Meet their friends also.

Expand.

That's how I did it.

Those are essentially acquaintances.

I feel like peoples understanding of the word "FRIEND" is so fucked up now, it's lost all meaning.

your best hope is to look the best you possibly can.

so you have interests. cool. noone gives a shit unless they like how you look, and by extension, want to hang out with you.

lifting for girls might be dumb but getting in better shape is probably the best possible thing you can do to open doors for yourself. it has been true for me, that's for sure.

Dawg, you must have had a really boring high school life or never truly connected to them. Being in close proximity to the same people doesn't produce a friendship, but it allows the opportunity for one to grow. My friends and I have helped each other when we needed it, we're pretty much like family.

>girls arent stupid, they know you are talking to them cause you want to fuck them
Oh my FUCKING GOD you are stupid!!!

You're one of those fucking idiots who uses pickup lines and all that goddamned stupid-ass PUA bullshit all the time aren't you? Let me ask you this: Have you ever had a NORMAL, NON-PICKUP conversation with a girl before? Or do you stink of desperation to get laid 24/7/365?

Try BEING REAL. I know it's a stretch for you, with such limited source material to go on (i.e., no real personality, no real intellect, no real interests other than lifting and fucking, no sense of humor to speak of even) but can you fucking TRY it at least!?

OMFG, I fear for the future of the human race, if it's idiots like you who are on the front lines..

Baby still doesn't understand how social interactions work in adults, cute.

it's like having friends serves no purpose anymore. everyone has their own weird political beliefs and whatever, they'd rather go home and plug into the matrix, have their beliefs reinforced on whatever shitty site they go to, or watch something on netflix.

when you get older life is just so utilitarian I guess. you go to work to pay your bills and survive and then you're too tired to go on 'adventures' or whatever. unless it serves some obvious purpose (like finding a mate) and then when you find one you stop hanging out with friends until that goes sour and you have to start again

why does a "social life" have to only revolve around women for you

>have a hobby that involves being around people
>continue to be around said people
>ask people to hang out
This is all you can do, period.

That feel when you're 24 and you're probably the biggest loser here

That feel when you live with your parents (really expensive out here) and have a shit job because you're too afraid to try to go to grad school because you know you'll fail at it anyway

That feel when you ain't got no friends since like middle school and you a kissless virgin who ain't never even asked a girl out

That feel when you an only child and you ain't never had a good relationship with your parents because they are basically forever alone assholes like you, and people say "it explains everything about you" when you say you an only child

That feel when you make people around you laugh because you're a clown but you never find anyone or anything funny yourself, mostly just cynical and sarcastic

That feel when you been alone and miserable, cynical and bitter for so many years that at this point basically everyone just annoys you

That feel when you literally don't even try to talk to people or make an effort to get to know them anymore because you have nothing to share anyway and if you do try to share anything, people will realize you're a friendless autist with no life experiences so what's the point

That feel when you just fill your free time by browsing the internet, watching TV and watching sports because they take up a shitload of time

That feel when even if by some miracle you did happen to make friends or get a girlfriend, you probably wouldn't even be happy because you would think about how your entire youth was wasted shut in your room

That feel when you don't even know what normal people your age do on the weekends besides going to bars/clubs with your friends and you don't even know what a bar is like

That feel when you don't even know how to hit on a girl

That feel when you ain't got no motivation for anything because you know that no matter what you do, you'll always be alone and miserable

That feel when you just flat out don't care about anything or anyone

no, lines are stupid. but girls know guys chat them up not for conversation, but cause they want to sleep with them. thats the basis of all conversation, outside of business (which should be professional).

how many guys approach girls without the intent to date them eventually? I despise PUA culture but it's the truth: lines or no lines approaching a girl as a guy usually says one thing.

sure, you could just want to make friends but eventually you want more than that, dont you?

I'm just saying, that's what it feels like.
What do a bunch of dudes hanging around do? Go to sports games or something? I was never really into that... grew up on video games. Maybe I should give it a try.

>why does a "social life" have to only revolve around women for you
Likely because he's a tryhard virgin who will likely never get laid until he's married, and he stinks of desperation. Probably doesn't have any real personality either, which is a large part of the problem.

>>/r9k/

Have some motivation bro

Nice projects there buddy

Are you honestly telling me when you go out on a friday or saturday night, it isn't mostly just dudes standing around trying to prey on women?

>inb4 don't go out to bars, find a hobby like canoeing xD

You're utterly clueless, guileless, devoid of any social skills, and likely a tryhard permavirgin who gets rejected 101% of the time by even ugly girls. You're completely incapable of understanding what I'm talking about, let alone able to self-actualize it. I'm not sure if I'm disgusted by you or pity you.

>mfw i relate to shit said in this thread even though im 20

no one cares about making new friends but they expect me to find a wife to live the rest of my life with.

why would girls go to meetups? meetups are used to meet people, and girls basically by existing will meet people. if they are at least average looking guys will just come to them, girls will be friends with them. girls are basically never bored, always have a multitude of girls or guys they can text and be doing something right away.

it's the guys who have to make the effort to have social lives

I just hate the whole "dating" process

all this bullshit and drama just to get your dick wet

this is why I appreciate stuff like the gym, it's just some weights and real estate, no drama, no nonsense.

sadly, a gym wont suck my dick.

>tfw clearly i have a lot of problems
>wish i could discuss them with people
>the only people i can discuss this with are other losers just like me who will just tell me how their situations are the same and how miserable they are
>if i tried to talk about this with normal people i would get ridiculed, insulted, humiliated
>i get compared to a mass murderer

Okay. So "go to meetups" is a meme. Going out to bars and clubs is a meme ("you'll only find whores there!"). So my options are what? Church? I'm not going to get close to anyone there without meeting her entire extended family. Bookstore? Creepy!

I don't fucking know man. Just give me the VR cat girls already

why do guys approach girls?

sure, guys and girls can be friends but most of the time that doesnt work. it can, but still.

You stupid shit.. I'm 51 years old, have already gone through all this stupid developmental bullshit you dumb fucks are apparently going through, have had dozens of relationships, was even married and divorced, and not IDGAF about any of it and just want to ride my goddamned bike (bike racer on a semi-pro team) and never mind all this relationshit.. but I've been there, done that, have the scars to prove it, can go into any bar anywhere on the face of this rediculous Earth and strike up a conversation with anyone of any gender, BECAUSE I HAVE GODDAMNED SOCIAL SKILLS, and I'm a decent looking dude, and I'm NOT FAT anymore, and I have a goddamned sense of humor.. and apparently none of you young dumb fucks have any idea what I'm talking about, you're all so goddamned focused on getting LAID that you can't conceive of anything else! I swear to GOD (that I don't even fucking believe in, that's how incredulous I am!) that there's no cure for your own bullshit other than TIME and EXPERIENCE, assuming you dumb shits even live that long! GET A FUCKING CLUE, FOR FUCK'S SAKE!

..and YES, I'M FUCKING RANTING! FUCKING DEAL WITH IT!

And don't forget that basically the only place where adults are around girls a lot, work, you can't try to get with them either because then stuff gets awkward at work

Fuck off grandpa.
Of course you don't care if you get laid. Your balls are shriveled up and ready to fall off. Jesus christ.

Can't tell if you people are actually autistic or not.

Country music and country bars/clubs/concerts. Get out there have some beer or whiskey and when they start to line dance get the fuck out there and join them. You will meet people, you will have fun, you will maybe get asked to dance and you have the chance to ask qts to two-step.

Just because you were a loser in high school doesn't mean life is over you pathetic cuck faggot

This fucking shit god damn.
>older brother is on third kid
>younger brother has had a girlfriend for a year and they are moving in together
>I've been dating floozies on a bi monthly basis that at most end up as a weekend of sex
Parents please fuck off, I'll die alone without any children, it's just the way things will be.

the worst is realizing you got fit too late, and most girls are already in relationships, which means you are stuck with single moms or crazy girls.

I admit I fucked up by not getting in shape sooner. but im not sure what to do at this point. girls 25+ are just too much of a trainwreck.

dating is pointless. im just going to get pressured into marriage that I dont want. so what the fuck do I do? seems hopeless.

at the very least maybe I can help someone younger: get fit now cause you will regret it later if you dont.

hahahaha upvoted :^)

getting fit is not the end-all-be-all of getting someone to date you autist

Are you implying that adults don't have an emotional needs? Humans are social animals. We're evolutionary hardwired to seek out and desire the company of others. Unless you have severe autism or some other mental impairment this should be pretty obvious.

listen, I have been to both extremes: fat, and very fit (10-12% bodyfat)

it is LITERALLY a different world. now I wonder how things would have been if I was in shape sooner. im well educated, can talk with anyone, but none of that mattered when I was out of shape.

now, im worth talking to just because im in shape. so dont tell me fitness is irrelevant.

actually a lot of times it does

>be loser in high school
>because of this you don't gain social skills and what it's like being social with people your age
>go to college, because of the lack of social skill development in high school, you have no idea what to do with the college kids your age
>end up a loser there too
>even for normies meeting people/making friends after college is difficult, let alone for people who were losers throughout school
>life over

I'm 21 and the girls in my age range are either taken or have babies too.

It seems if you didn't get a gf in high school you're fucked.

>We're evolutionary hardwired
Stopped reading my friend

>what the fuck did you just say about me you little bitch?

This x 100000.

I stopped developing socially at like age 15, I am nearly 30 now and have no idea how to even communicate with 18-30 year olds, but I can talk meme's all day with my younger cousins who are in their early teens.

Sounds like you guys are just dumb

I really think you guys are overthinking it. I'll give you autists some obvious examples

you can
>meet people through mutual friends
>meet people at bars
>meet people at concerts
>join a club of some kind and meet people there
>meet people through tinder and other stuff
>literally strike up a conversation with random people for practice

but the most important part is just living your life. staying generally attractive, interesting, and well-rounded with a few hobbies. everything else will follow

proximity
spontaneaty (spelling?)
openness

Be close as you can physically, go grab a drink without 2 weeks planning and be open about things that bother/scare you

well, im not going to mope, I know how things work now: everyone is shallow (myself included). so i'll get in the best shape possible, not for girls but because thats a goal of mine. at the same time, I understand that also increases your odds with women.

im going to try my best, and even though I may never get married I am going to have as much fun as I can before im truly "old". it will be challenging, but im up for it. at the same time, never ever settle for scraps: i'd rather be dead than be the guy who marries a 6/10 girl cause noone else wants her.

no, fuck that. I have standards and will keep them till the day I die.

>I'm a decent looking dude
>51 and browing 4chins

pick uno

thank you for the advice. i love getting advice from normal people, you guys know just wht to say

PUA is fine as long as its taken moderately. Learning/having confidence to approach a girl on the street is great, forces you out of all comfort zones

Ever tried fucking a dude before?

>your just like...dumb...dude

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>meet people through mutual friends
hey bro thats my girl. Hey bro that girls with brad's cousin. Hey bro I saw her first bro dont be a dick.

>meet people at bars
pay $20 cover to buy $10 drinks in a bar filled with thirsty dudes fighting over entitled whores

>meet people at concerts
pay $200 to go to some shitty concert with 12 year olds

>join a club of some kind and meet people there
well memed

>meet people through tinder and other stuff
no point if you don't look like chad

>literally strike up a conversation with random people for practice
wow fuck off you creep

>Learning/having confidence to approach a girl on the street is great, forces you out of all comfort zones

Here's something I don't get, it seems like from what I hear, basically all women in their 20s are dating someone, and if they aren't there's something wrong with them. How does this approaching random women on the street without even knowing if they are single or not work

>How you got "pay girls to hang out" from what I wrote is beyond me.
>> after a few minutes tell them that you got tickets to whatever from a friend that works at a promotional company and ask them if they wanna go.
i should ask for compensation for these tickets i'm offering before taking her?

no, I know what I like

the point of my post is essentially im not going to settle for scraps, thats a terrible way to approach life. a lot of people "settle" and once you give up on your dreams or ambitions, you might as well be dead.

likewise with girls, if you fuck a 5/10 just to get your dick wet, that's terrible.

I guess you are right, people don't really meet or talk to each other in real life.

Go up, say hi, compliment, talk, ask for number, get yes or no, move on with life

Considering you just called me an autist, let me go down your list for you here as an aspie

>meet people through mutual friends
I don't have friends.

>bars
I don't have friends. I can;'t go to a bar alone, that is horrific

>concerts
I can't go to a concert alone

>Meet people through Tinder or other dating sites
Not only am I not good looking which is about 75% of internet dating especially Tinder, but since I have no friends I can't show myself doing stuff with people, therefore women will repel me

>conversations with random people
In this day and age, people don't really like talking to random people. They just have their headphones on or on their phones and act like random people on the street are rapists

You just do, strike up a conversation. If they're not single (and actually care about the person they're with) they will tell you shortly after you start flirting with them and showing sexual interest (which you should be doing). If you're a moral man, move on. If you don't care or you think she's lying act as if she said nothing or use a line to get past it.

I've been using; "that's nice, do you love him"? Some girls will outright say "NO!" which threw me off at first. Some will pause for a good moment and say "yes" to which you say "you hesitated" and continue with the conversation. Very rarely will you meet a girl who will say "yes" without pausing. I tell those ones "he's a lucky man" and move on.

by having friends and going out a lot

I consider Veeky Forums my friend, not the individuals that make it, but the entity itself

>I've been using; "that's nice, do you love him"? Some girls will outright say "NO!" which threw me off at first. Some will pause for a good moment and say "yes" to which you say "you hesitated" and continue with the conversation.

jesus fucking christ i literally said "eugh": out loud

>I can't go to a concert alone

so you're willing to miss your favorite band because no one else will go with you? fuck that, it sucks but Im not missing the opportunity man

You're obviously not sexy enough to have women want you to fuck em without dates, etc. You also said you wanted a social life, not a girl - I told you that you have no social life without women after college - being social costs money.

If you wanna save $40 by going places by yourself you're free to do that.

I also told you to tell women that you got the tickets free from a friend which both makes her feel like you're not spending money on her and that you're cool enough to have friends who can get free tickets to cool events.

You honestly sound very unintelligent desu senpai

wow you seem like such a positive and outgoing person, I have no idea why you're having trouble being social.

not sure how to help with the no friends thing. but that last part isn't completely true as long as you're decently good looking, well-groomed and not creepy

There lying, as a thin girl u get approached a lot that the best way to turn someone down is to simple say "sorry i have a boyfriend"

>I've been using; "that's nice, do you love him"? Some girls will outright say "NO!" which threw me off at first.

Not bad. I also like "are you guys going to get married?"

well you could go to game cons or some shit and make some friends with neckbeards

Not him but you should try it.

Dan Bilzerian pls go

really, just asking a girl if she has a boyfriend and then seeing if she loves him and if she says no, trying to swoop in and get her to cheat... you think that's alpha?

>not sure how to help with the no friends thing.

To all the normal guys in this thread who can't understand this, the hardest part about having no friends, if it's been happening for a while (like for me, I didn't really have friends in HS or college), is that you realize that just being yourself makes everyone hate you. If everyone hates you, what's the point of even trying to meet people, when clearly it has never worked in the past?

It just becomes a huge downward spiral. You didn't know anyone, so you think everyone hates you, therefore you don't try to meet people because they will hate you too. If you don't meet people, you won't get out to meet other people or girls, so you will just always be alone, for your entire life

>CHEATING IS BAD
t. beta

the fact that they get approached a lot means they always do have a boyfriend.
they're either in a relationship or transitioning to the next

Anyway , the truth of the matter is that if she was really into you, she wouldn't tell you she had a boyfriend, even if he does exist.
If she's not into you, she will say she has a boyfriend, whether he exists or not.

user are there any aspects of your personality that you notice are grating to people?

normie here so I can't fully understand how you feel but I can try to relate. I know there was shit about me that annoyed people. when I was younger I was a bit of a know-it-all, socially awkward, lanky and weird, etc.
But I worked on it and I'm way more social now and girls actually find me attractive

I don't mean to be condescending or anything. but feeling sorry for yourself isn't gonna help. meet lots of people, eventually you'll find a group that's right for you.

we're all gonna make it

>you think that's alpha?
It's worked for animals for millions of years.

While Chad is busy eating pizza, Charlie fucks his girlfriend and climbs out the bathroom window into the night.

Considering, "I have a boyfriend" is number one girl cop out to get rid of guys you could be calling her bluff.

No harm in trying

look, before you get other people to like you, you have to learn to like yourself.

I am doing that via fitness. before I saw a pile of crap in the mirror. now, im in better shape than most people I see: and I am still getting better daily. and if you feel good about yourself, that will aid in other parts of your life as well.

dont beat yourself up too much, work on your own flaws first then worry about the rest.