Go to gym with new gymbro

>Go to gym with new gymbro.
>We're maxing out on bench.
>Pretend to struggle with 115.
>Second day plop 135 and knock out 4x12.
>Third day stack 225 and blow his mind.
>Asks me what's my secret.
>SS+GOMAD

>using freeweights
>don't re-rack them and leave them on the floor

> tell people I'm natty
> I'm actually on creatine

>be me
>age 14
>have a friend and we do sexual stuff, we suck eachother dicks and have pretend anal and such, like all boys do
>fast forward 2 years
>both 16
>we start going for it again
>he's hard as can be
>I can't get my dick up
>I tell him "maybe I grew out of it and you're gay"
>he starts questioning his sexuality
>bully him and call him a gay boy, he can't handle this
>year upon year he deteriorated, starts doing drugs, gay sex parties and meeting people to suck their dick
>23 now, he's full blown social outcast that'll suck you for a dollar and lives on benefits, has some STDs

I didn't tell him I jerked off before we started going for it at 16. I am in a LTR with a woman now

i dont even lift. I give advice in different threads.
3 years now and im not planning on stopping.

what the fuck?

D E V I L I S H
E
V
I
L
I
S
H

Lol your friend is such a fag

We need a /TTDH/ thread.

>have been secretly taking the barbell collars and hiding them in random lockers
>watch as employees struggle to figure out what the fuck is going on

Fuck off

M A D M A N
A
D
M
A
N

>pokemon GO comes out
>take pictures of cardio bunnies asses
>pretend I'm catching pokemon

they might think I'm autistic but not that I'm a pervert

you little bastard

>take a shit at gym toilets
>dont wash hands
>head back to freeweight area and continue workout

Not cool.
That's pretty fucked up, actually.

You should talk to him. That's fucking tragic.

>tfw stole 3k qorth of fitness equipment from 4different gyms
(Multiple bars, pl8s, cable attachments, bands, etc.
Kek i even took a piece of squat stands (just need the other piece)
Also stole one of those rogue crossfit bars (overpriced shit) from local cf gym

>tfw free home gym

>tell someone i got 3 sets
>but i got no sets left

FUCKING

D. E. M. O. N. I. C.

>Kek i even took a piece of squat stands (just need the other piece)

top kek

I'm actually going on a walk just to catch Pokémon in a bit... Hope I can find some nice grills too, gotta catch ém all.

If this is a joke, hilarious. Otherwise, fuck off faggot

How the fuq do you leave a gym with an olympic bar without people noticing

Oh my god OP I actually choked

Fucking D E V I L I S H

you knock out everyone in your way with it.

we had an awesome thread about this some years ago, I'll see if I can find screenshots

madman

Wtf?? You should apologize and tell him there's nothing wrong with being gay, cause even you were a fag with him at some point.

Audible kek!

>gym requires indoor shoes
>wear running shoes that look like indoor shoes because too lazy to bring 2 pairs
>stop at the door for 10 seconds to pretend I'm changing them for anyone watching from a distance

>First day at new gym
>ohp in squat rack

Perfect

where else would you ohp?

my fucking sides.

Literally anywhere. If you can OHP something then you can clear it off the floor

or you could just use a squat rack

Or a regular bench

>come in at closing time
>pretend you're doing your routine
>w8 till receptionist qt goes to check something in the office
>pickup whatever you can and be quick
>return to the gym and pretend nothing ever happened
>finish your fake routine and walk out
This is the best tactic for bigger stuff
Smaller stuff (pl8s, bands, attachments, etc.) can be loaded into your gym bag


I currently have subscriptions to 4 different gyms though (monthly passes)
When i feel like they've strictened their ""security"" i cancel my subscription
The cf gym has part in the open next to parking lot where thos crossfit retards do their exercises with tires and shit
I took 5 ivanko revolver pl8s there and wl competition barbell there

>tfw just need 1 more to have 3 pairs of 45s
Already have 300+lb of smaller pl8s from elsewhere

>If you can OHP something then you can clear it off the floor

I'd love to see you clean 225 off the floor you fucking DYEL

i'm laughing so fucking hard

>>come in at closing time
>>pretend you're doing your routine
>>w8 till receptionist qt goes to check something in the office
>>pickup whatever you can and be quick
>>return to the gym and pretend nothing ever happened
>>finish your fake routine and walk out

I know you're fucking trolling but why does this seem so believable? Like this could actually fuckin work unironically...

because you're forgetting that the next day when somebody notices something big missing they'd just check the lobby's security cameras and call the police

These threads are always so fucking cringe.
I sincerely hope none of you are this autistic.

>Like all boys do
Got some bad news user

>he can't clear 225 off the floor

Laughingwhores.jpg

okay m8 heres what you do
>every night go to the power rack
>slowly disassemble it and replace the parts you take with various replacements made of wood (strong enough to hold steady until you've finished your project)
>do this until you have your own power rack at home
>there will be a perfectly build power rack left at the gym made of wood
no one will know the difference, trust me

>because you're forgetting that the next day when somebody notices something big missing they'd just check the lobby's security cameras and call the police

Well yeah it's a dumb idea if you're a normal human being who actually has a career/future/doing something with his life

But there's so many niggers who steal fucking copper pipes from houses or do all sorts of fucked up shit for

I'd love to see you OHP 100 kg

>not shoving them up your ass to make some ass collars . not having the power in all conversations with people who use those collars knowing they have been up your ass . confirmed for not making it

...

implying I don't clean whatever I'm using first

Lince

kek

>But there's so many niggers who steal fucking copper pipes from houses or do all sorts of fucked up shit for

Altitude training mask like crossfit retards wear.

...

>business in the world in the year 2016 that doesn't have a security camera at their entrance
E, moj nigeru...

Only better gyms have cameras here
The ones i go to are more like old style metroflex gyms from those early ronnie coleman videos with older equipment and rusty pl8s

Cf gym has cameras but not outside
You can take out platform and do c&j's and and all those crossfit snapperooni shit on outside

Also I live in a 3rd world country and decent power rack would cost me 1.5monthly salaries (at above average wage)
Thos stuff is considered luxury and overpriced to hell

>Only god can judge me

>ohp 225
>thinks a 225 clean (or power clean) is even remotely hard

>muh shoulders
>not knowing how to clean

We all know you can't press 2pl8, faggot. Your argument sounds totally absurd when you're strong enough to press 225, and you'd know it if you could.

You may get a better position if you don't need to clean it, and that's a totally fine excuse to use a rack, but what you're saying is bollocks.

kys

E nigeru nigeru pomirisi mi kuracu

This was the most passive aggressive post I've ever seen.

Hahaaha

How is that even passive, he literally called you a faggot and told you to kill yourself.

Not devilish. Just a garden variety asshole

You're a retard dude

Clean and jerking 225 without wrecking your shoulders is next to impossible if you're not a trained oly lifter.

> i even took a piece of squat stands

how the fuck

giant faggots kill yourselfs

Fuck you

please be trolling

I smuggled mine up my ass

Would have been funnier if you were in a LT relationship with a man

agreed, fix this pasta