Tinder tips thread

Should I round up?

Don't list it at all, to a girl 5'9 sounds short but if they saw you in real life they would think you're average and not think twice

3pl8? huh yeah dont bother then...

"That's two measurements"

Actually 125 kg, but soon there.

Half of the girls on my feed are niggers. Obviously I swipe left.

Never mind. That's my 5rm. My estimated one rep max is 150 kg. How long until I can brag?

Rose's are red
True love is rare
Booty booty booty booty
Rockin everywhere

I'm not even lying. I can't tell you how many girls this has pulled without me doing a lick of work

JK I can tell you. 14.

heh. Nice.

I've used Aziz Ansaris bio for a bit and it worked liked a charm.

“My perfect date night: I pick you up. In my Kia Sorrento. You get in. There’s candles in the car. You go, ‘…Is that dangerous?’ and I go, ‘Yes—but I like danger.’

We go to your favorite restaurant, and we have a fantastic meal. We come outside and we see my car’s on fire. You go, ‘user, your car’s on fire. Aren’t you upset?’ I pull out a bag of marshmallows and I go, ‘No. I knew this was gonna happen.’

And then I kiss you. In front of my burning car.”

One of the favs I've seen:
>I'm a man you can depend on. You tell me "jump" and I'll say"how high".
You tell me "3 feet" and I'll say "I only have a 34-inch vert.
>basically what I'm saying is prepare for 2 inches less than you want

Confirm?

"I'm a greasy bare chested narcissus with little to no redeeming qualities. I have a gold iPhone 5! Hit yes!

Ps. I'm Jesus"

Another good option is something along the same lines but
>mcdonalds
>she pays
>back to my place
>you watch me play video games and swear at 14 year Olds
Something that pokes fun at bad dates

But really, pictures are more important. >Your most attractive pic should be first, because nobody checks the 3rd pic if the 1st is fugly
>pics with friends are important, but maybe not if they are way more attractive
>in that case, substitute animals for friends
>foreign lands/nature pics are always good
>you want to showcase that you are fun
>shirtless pics really don't work

How, you want to count the rings on my dick?

I don't have tinder any more because
1. Banned
2. I'm over the hookup phase

Agreed.

Also,
>pics of you actually doing stuff (hiking, surfing, rock climbing, boxing)
>pic with a fucking dog
>pics in costume

How the fuck do you get banned from Tinder?

Yeah It kind of dies out after a while. Same old routine with these chicks
>Match
>meet
>fuck
>repeat

Probably ween myself off it for a bit, and continue cold approaching. I feel like the relationship is more genuine. When it comes to the app you're faced with the "Online dating" stigma.

>What should I write in my description?

BITCH IMMA FUCKDATASS KNOWMSAYIN, usually works for me in conjunction with an abs selfie

Would this work, sensei?
"Tinder don't work, prove me wrong?"

You should also pose with either guns or money

Knife, or daggers?

Once you get tired of sex with randoms, eventually you will respond to innocent "Hi"s with "i want to cum in your throat" because you just don't care

There's really no stigma about it anymore, but you don't want to be in my shoes, 32 and single. At this age, the girls online are...suboptimal.

Cringey, and even worse overplayed. No. Just take one of my examples above.

Make sure you're pointing the weapons at the camera, it makes you look more badass

Okay, the booty quote then. Always take advise from Veeky Forums

Mine is

'all about that anime life'

I have 104 matches after around 5 weeks.

Just get Veeky Forums and post a shirtless pic like related. Then be straight up and ask all your matches who wants to fuck. I find roughly 1/5 of them are down to meet up and fuck that same day.

When you get to 200
But even then girls don't give a fuck so stop getting your hopes up

What is the value of existence? And with this back drop why do we treat other beings of the same consiousness level differently? What makes the bird different than the rat? A woman different than a man? What makes each experience unique? Is every experience unique or is it just a beings response to existence; something no more complex than an electrical circuit or a knife cutting through rope.

In that instance of use we as knives are launched through the rope of life, the rope is cut and our time is complete. Does how it is cut matter? By existing we are the knife and undoubtedly we will complete the process of life, the process of cutting the rope, and return to nonexistence; why does one focus so carelessly on the particulars of how the rope is cut?

this

Matches don't matter. Everyone swipes everyone right (unless they are atrocious lyrics ugly or black) and then filters/ignores based on the actual matches. This is much more time efficient than judging every single profile individually

Guys do this

Girls do not. They filter out guys they dont like because literally every guy they swipe right on is a match if they're relatively attractive. I remember some user posting a vid of a girl on tinder and she swiped left on everyone but one chad.

Not to mention half are bots.

Also, a reminder: once you run out of live people in your area, tinder will show you 4 new profiles per day of bots

>What should I write in my description?
How about "I am a huge faggot"?
Bitches love the truth from what ive heard so it could be good

Just get Veeky Forums and make your pic like pic related. I then just ask most of my matches straight up if they want the dick. I find roughly 1/6 of them are down to meet up and fuck that same day. All girls on tinder are whores. Some try to act like they're looking for friendship, but they're deluded. Everyone knows what Tinder is for.

I can post a few wins for those who sre interested.

Pls no cancer. Those threads belong in/b/

post em.

>I remember some user posting a vid of a girl on tinder
You mean this bullshit?
youtube.com/watch?v=VZ4dIz5q648

I have totally shit pictures of me and I still get a lot of matches. Doesn't make sense

This too. Although you should keep your face in the shirtless pic cause you don't want to end up in the "nice body but ugly face" meme that sluts always rant about

Fuck yeah hombre show us the poonani.

>I can post a few wins for those who sre interested.
Sure, please do
Im not as ripped as you but it can be done.
Might be worth it if the girls are fine and not total assholes

Nice, same Uni.

No. It was a guy recording a girl from behind while she didnt know/notice him recording her. In the description it said he asked her some questions afterwards or some bullshit that pretty much line up with what he recorded. The video is private now.

She's a solid 8/10 also. Drove over an hour to my place later that day.

How long until user mode? What is your lifts? Mirin, no homo

I probably see you at Eppley then. I'm there every day.

>She's a solid 8/10 also
Im not sure about your taste user but still, good job
anything above a 6 is passable

Real talk how do you slay on Tinder if you live with your rents.

> 5 of 6 aren't "down"
> "dey all hoes dawg nawimean!"

They still hoes senpai, just more expenisve.

This girl is a solid 6/10 (if that, not gonna lie) but she just turned 18 and had a nice ass. Massive slut who let me fuck her up the butt.

I have 6'3 in my description.

Bitches love tall guys.

Been lifting for roughly 2 years now. Started off skinnyfat.

1/6 is actually pretty high. I'd think that line would work 1/100 times if anything.

>6/10
Yeah, naw. That's a 4/10.

>wouldnt mind letting you pound my tight pussy
why does that fucking make me laugh so much?

she looks cute user, maybe not 8/10 but i cant really see shit from the 20x20 pixel image of her. Post a pic of her?

All in all good going my dude. You're something to aspire to.

>pound my tight pussy
into the trash it goes

You dumb or something?
1/5 is fucking 20%, thats an insane hitrate
Whats the successrate for getting a job you think? ill bet lower
Winning the lottery? fuck me lad, even lower

Well I spend most of my time living away from home at Uni. When I am home I just try to plan any dates at their houses or on nights my parents are out.

My parents don't really care when I bring back girls any more though.

1/6 =17%

I have a 4plate 8rm deadlift, How much more do I need before women swipe right on tinder?

That's a pretty respectable lift right? Should I add ten more lbs and say it's my 5rm? I don't do 5 rep maxes usually. What's an estimate of my five rep max from my 405 lb 8 rep max?

Yeah "pound my pussy" really came out of nowhere also. I just went along with it. Of all the sluts I've found on tinder, she definitely had to be the sluttiest.

Unfortunately for pic related I think we're done banging each other. I got with her 4 or 5 times, but then she just stopped responding. Probably found another penis. Oh well.

Still a very high rate considering he's straight up asking girls if they want to fuck. If you get even 6 matches a week odds are you'll be getting laid. Not too bad...

LOL that's a 5.5 maybe 6 irl!

Girls don't give a fuck about your pr, you sperg

God you fucking autist

Everyone knows you need at least a five plate 5rm for women to respond to you on tinder

But, it is the internet so you add two points typically because we have really low standards.

>she's 33, I'm 27
>No pictures on my profile except one selfie
>Already been on two dates, she always said she would like to go out again
>Said she's old school, wants to get to know the person

>tinder is for whores

Not exactly sure what to think of this... Is she in it just for the sex or fishing for relationship?

I'm just going to lie then, and say that its like five hundred pounds.

Average girl probably won't make me prove it in the gym before sleeping with me right?

6/10? Dude that's a 4 at a push.

Too each their own. I think she's attractive. Doesn't matter cause were don't fucking.

Attention?
free meals?
Fuck user, maybe shes just bored

...

I said at 6/10 at best. I'm aware I can and should be pulling much better. I just screenshotted that one since she's my most recent fuck and because her conversation is pure gold.

Unfortunately I'm back home for the summer and a lot of my matches from school are 300+ miles away now. This girl wants to fuck but I can't see her until August now.

4.5 confirmed

Been lifting for 4 month. Still skinnyfat, but will start running a hour every day for the summer and eat clean. What are your 1RM?

Are you actually this autistic?

Bench is 240. Squat is 260. I don't know my deadlift.

I do a lot of body weight exercises also. I can crank out 22/23 pull ups when I go till failure.

Eh, could be but i dunno, she even apologized for being "a bit stuck up". Nothing to lose I guess, we'll see how it goes soon enough.

At least the ass was phat. I hit her once and moved on. And before getting Veeky Forums I thought I was fucked as a permavirgin.

Kilograms?

>tfw tinder doesn't work for you

> dog
Dogs are the best wingmen.

Pounds. I'm not extraordinary strong, but I have muscle in the right places. People say biceps are your glamour muscle but that's all bullshit. Get a strong frame first. Shoulders, back, and chest are the 3 most important places girls look at when evaluating aesthetics.

>houlders, back, and chest are the 3 most important places girls look at when evaluating aesthetics.
Id say abs are the nr 1 thing girls look for/at bodywise
Dunno why but thats the way of it

is that your tinder? creepy as fuck

>"I'm so good at sex you'll be sore."

That doesn't sound like a bonus.

I am a gross fat fucking dude that falls in love with lesbians but even I am not that creepy.

Shiieeet, my line is really that bad?

how many matches you have my dude? your body is top tier.

>And before getting Veeky Forums I thought I was fucked as a permavirgin
this hope is the only thing keeping me alive