Has anyone on Veeky Forums been to an asian massage parlor?

I went to one last month. First time

>3am wasted
>walk up to door and knock
>no response so turn to leave
>hear knocking on glass and see someone lookin thru
>door unlocks and i walk in
>small late 30s asian milf type
>7/10
>"hi baby! What u like, u so cute'
>30 min massage please
>"ok baby! Hop in shower!"
>get in the shower wondering wtf im doing right now
>have a gf
>panic when i cant open the shower door easily
>oh no she locked me in im about to get robbed by triads
>she comes into the room and unlocks it giggling
>shes lookin at my naked body up and down
>6'2 190lbs natty gains
>"you so handsome"
>"body perfect."
>i lay down and she sits ontop on my ass rubbing my traps
>keeps repeating how cute i am
>whispers in my ear to turn over
>"i give u very good massage handsome man"
>starts suckin on my nipples outta nowhere and moaning
>moans are cliche as fuck but its turnin me on
>pop a chub and she goes right for it suckin me off
>amazing bj with swirlin tongue etc etc
>i start taunting her a bit and slappin her ass while she blows me
>ya u like suckin that white dick eh
>ya suck that dick etc etc
>i nut in about 1 minute flat lmao
>turns out she put a condom on me and was too drunk to notice
>she lifts the condom up over her head and points
>"your babies. Lots of babies" and giggles
>pretends to be a baby bird about to eat the used condom for some reason
>i laugh and start puttin my clothes on
>feelin up my chest as i dress, staring at me
>"you come back you my favourite"
>ya sure whatever bitch
>pay her 100$ and leave

Good shit

She's amazingly hot but I don't get the meme about her. There are more attractive women out there but people pretend that Mila is a goddess.

Real talk, only reason to have a GF as of now (in my life) is for dem' free massages; haven't gotten a massage in ages (u kno wut that meens lmao >tfw no gf huehue).

As of now, I watch those lame ass massage/asmr videos on YT to somewhat imitate the experience. Wish the parlors weren't so fucking expensive, shit's ridic.

totally different experience..

a girlfriend/wife can never give you the experience of a total stranger giving you a relaxing massage and finishing with a happy ending within 30 minutes of meeting each other

Insane. Whether true or not, I feel that to a very high degree that I will never get to have life experiences like this. I am on track to making it, right, both financially/socially/physically; but all of this shit seems like fantasy.

Like seeing this green text play out in my mind was a straight up cinema, nothing in my existence could even be relative to this.

I used to have a decent social life, and even at that rate, things of this caliber were pretty much fuckin' mystical (never heard of).

Dude, all you need is 100$

Its true lol believe me

Droppin' a Benji just for a massage (even with happy ending) just isn't in the wallet right now.

... But we gonna make it eventually boys perhaps in the future $100 won't even be a drop in the bucket.

That's dope af though homey what an experience, and on the real she did you a favor by sliding on the condom, she's a champ lmfao

Oh ya thank fuck for the condom

Im gonna try another one in the future but next time im pickin my asian, not just takin the first one to greet me.

>Has anyone on Veeky Forums been to an asian massage parlor?

>My backs kinda sore from deadlifts.

These two things are COMPLETELY unrelated.

>tfw you have a barbershop relationship with your asian hooka

mocking people who actually like women
when you visit gay bathhouses for rusty trombones

lolololololol

>tfw licensed massage therapist at the student health clinic for free

I'm guessing this is one of many reasons why tuition is out of control for everyone not on scholarship.

If you're actually looking to help your back go to a real masseuse. All you'll get at a sketchy massage parlor is a body rub and handjob from a middleaged asian woman.

Damn she aged really fast. Too much partying and dicking I guess.

Meant to quote

go swimming
it helped me

Nice.

You just know she's a massive frigid bitch irl.

This is your massage therapist tonight
Would you give her the tip Veeky Forums?

Have you seen her without make up/photoshop? I dont blame him

She still looks pretty cute.

>"your babies. Lots of babies" and giggles
>pretends to be a baby bird about to eat the used condom for some reason
LOL the fuck

your definition of cute is completely fucked

i'd let her blow me

Don't think I'd give her a tip of any sort, regardless of service quality.

Nope
Theres plenty of massage parlors near me with qt 25-35 yr old thai girls that will do "everything". I cant settle for a older mamasan.

>pass that fucking sake, I'm gonna need it
>I'm chinese not Japanese
>Japanese wapanese

brehs ive heard that if they wear these short dresses they're dtf. Anyone know if this is true?

>tfwywncomkf

>OLE SENOR WE HAVE BEEF TACO CAT TACO AND DOG TACO AREEEEEEEEEEEEEBA

I'd let you blow me

no homo

I charge to card yeh?

>$100
THE FUCK

Kek