If you owned a gym, what 3 rules would you enforce?

...

>ein Volk
>ein Führer
>ein Reich

>hot chicks only
>no non-white men
>no women in weights area

I would not enforce them, but i would prominently display
>no curls
>no ab isolations
>no whining

No non-white men

No mention of non-white women....scared of getting cucked, sir?

>tripfag
>joke comprehension on point

>>no curls
>>no ab isolations
Curls are important for elbow joint health.

Ab isolation is often important in physical therapy.

Congrats on being on Starting Strength for two months, btw.

you scared of Juan and Tyrone boning your girl while eating tacos and watermelon, while you drink your milk and do 5x5 skuatz?

Whatever gives me the most money. Stupid edgy rules are for broke circlejerking manchildren

>>No supersetting beyond 5ft radius
This can often be avoided with an intelligent equipment layout, but yeah, there's sometimes that asshole that does some really weird ass supersetting.

I used to frequent a gym in PA where this old dude did this circuit consisting of a bunch of machines and at least two freeweights (usually the trap bar and a pair of dumbbells).

He would do one rep of a trap bar lift, some curls, then disappear into the machine section for a good 10-15 minutes, then come back and start back with the one rep. This would go on for an hour.

1) Re-rack your shit.
2) No deadlifts in the squat rack (ironically curls in the squat rack have not been a problem).
3) Take a fucking shower, with soap, within, at most, 24 hours of going to the gym. There's a few people super notorious in one of the gyms I frequent (I go to Gold's, one near my office and one near my apartment) that just do not shower or bathe ever. One dude stinks so bad his stench lingers for the next 30 minutes. It's so bad it's actually really fucking distracting, with people gagging and shit.

...

/thread

I used to see this guy who would use separate machines about halfway across the gym. He would disappear out of sight and come back demanding you leave if he caught you on the machine he was "using." You try not to interfere with someone's workout, but you can't help it if they are being that obtrusive.

an alarm goes off when my gym don't sound like a torture room
If you're scared of getting recorded or being on someone channel who wants to help others gtfo my gym
any type of sport is encouraged (like power lifting/ body building (like if they wanted to practice posing go ahead)
Just no pussies desu.

If you can't do 1/2/3/4 plate then those are the only exercises you're allowed to do until you can.

Perfect form enforced by prowling, ripped wizards that actually know their shit. No ego lifting.

No vegans.

THIS

>no bulking beyond 20-25% bodyfat
>no "maintaining" at a certain weight, you have to progress or gtfo, even if it means bulking
>you must banter/meme inbetween sets

How is big legs more noble than big arms?
>'muh compounds'
all of this is a hobby and most likely not useful in your life

>Put the equipment back where it belongs
>No curling in the racks
>No niggers

Planet fitness already exists tho

Gee I wonder what kind of hat you use

>No drinking between sets
>Mandatory mirin
>Obligatory NO HOMO creed

Membership is free, you pay if you miss a day
Group size of 3 max
If you see someone literally one rep away from death by snap you have to video tape them so I don't get sued

And no women. They are just annoying.

It's my music - no pop or rap, and I listen to it so loud that headphones aren't going to help you.

Don't drop the bars/dumbbells - I've only ever dropped a bar once, and that's because a collar failed and half the weight fell off when I was at the top of a squat. It's a hazard to the bars and your health.

I am the opposite of Planet Fitness - you will show your bottle of Satan's Own pre-workout at the door or your ass will soon be halfway across the parking lot.

Satan's Own (tm) - guaranteed to turn you 1RM into your 5x5 and leave you feeling like hell the next morning.

>you have to be able to 4/3/2/1 in order to join and pass a strength test to do so
>you can't ohp in the squat rack
>you must wear professional weightlifting shoes

this fucking idiot

Why does he wear the mask?

Define a squat rack?

We have one cage in the whole gym that I use for squats and ohp.

How else do you do ohp without a rack at shoulder level?

Clean the weight faggot

...

>wasting energy cleaning

yeah no

>Wasting energy
>Cleaning

Pick one

dont you guys have extra jhooks on the outside of your racks?

you burn ATP and exert muscle movements to bring that barbell to your neck, so yeah there is energy wasted there

faggot

>no indians
>no currymunchers
>no pajeets

Nice high school bio, bud.

What I was implying, since nuance doesn't seem to be your specialty, is that cleans are an excellent workout so the energy is expended, but certainly not wasted.

>inb4 only cleaning it once

EVERY REP COUNTS FGT

Whatever asshole, Im not doing unnecesary shit if I can pick the barbell already at neck height

you must be DYEL status if you dont get tired of cleaning your working set weight, try going 1+ plate

>Only qts allowed
>Must have sex with the owner whenever he wants
>Must enjoy sex with the owner

Curls are actually bad for elbow health.

Compounds are better for core rehab work. Deadlifts > planks.

Also literally never did ss, only gslp, a ppl, and a u/l/u

>No admittance but by invitation
>Chalk provided
>Never closes

>no memberships within one week of new years

That should do it

so a gay bear bath house?

>Rack your weights
>Use machines as intended
>Fox only,no items, final destination

If you can't clean what you can OHP, somethings very wrong.

>1pl8 clean
> Tiring
Found the non athlete

>completely misses the point of the thread

no one bigger than me allowed

i think you mean
>no one on steroids allowed

mine would be
>NO GIRLS
>24HR
>TRY HARD AS H*CK

No deadlifts
No fit people
No exercising

I'd call it planet fatness and make bank off the thousands of soccer moms and fat cunts that would buy recurring yearly memberships and not actually come.

please shut up if you don't know what you're talking about bby

enjoy not making money and being poor :^)

>No string vests unless you can bench 3plate and sqaut 5plate.
>Chalk station to chalk your hands and shit,
>No hogging the weights by talking between sets.

>only people that believe in HAES are welcome.
>everyone eats at least 1 slice of pizza per session. If you don't, don't ever come back.
>DON'T SLAM THE WEIGHTS!

...

I don't have a baby ohp

1 rerack your weights
2 rerack your weights
3 rerack your weights
Rules will be enforced by camera. Violators will be given 2 chances and upon 3rd violation will have their membership terminated with no refund.

New year memberships pay the bills for the gym for the rest of the year

Grunts required. If you're lifting silently you're kicked out zero tolerance policy

Even when warming up?

Per la chancla

(1) Wipe down the equipment

(2) Time limit on the weights

(3) Be friendly

No poo in loos
Admittance by referral only
Getting big is mandatory

Women only

Dirty clothing must be discarded

Must be below 200lbs

Then I would sell the dirty clothing online to Japan.

Not everyone trains cleans...
Improperly cleaning 185lb is easily enough to hurt yourself.

enji needs to lose some weight tbqhfempaidesu

...

Top kek

Re-rack your weights in the proper place.
No circuit training allowed
RERACK YOUR FUCKING WEIGHTS.

>only curls allowed
>no eye contact
>everyone pees in the same toilet