Hey guys.... /Aus/bro here

Hey guys.... /Aus/bro here...

Used to be living the Zyzz dream, was built, constantly clubbing, and I had a hot as hell gf (Not true Zyzz, don't really like hookup culture, GF liked to party though)

Had a Bipolar meltdown, ended up in ICU on deaths door due to suicide attempt brought on by relationship problems due to mental illness.

It's 15 months on now, it's 4am and I'm thinking about her.. looking her and her friends up but they've all blocked me... She moved on pretty much instantly and we hooked up a few times afterwards, and she wanted to see me a few more but I had to cut her off because I was emotionally invested and she wasn't and that fucks with a man.

I can't keep a job at all, I've lost all semblance of gains and gained nearly 30KG of fat, I'm sitting here paying $60/month for a gym membership that's unused.

Literally been sitting in this house eating and watching Netflix for 15 months. I've got a good handle on the mental problems though..

I just feel complete apathy. I'll get motivated for 2-4 days and fall down harder. It's like that iron will to improve everyday is so far gone I can't retrieve it.

Besides suicide what the fuck do I do bros? I have utter apathy here.

Have you tried steroids?

I know they are fucking well expensive in aus but they could help.
Test is a great tool for motivation. Might aswell give it a shit if you've not much to lose.

Obviously stay away from harsher roids like tren because mental issues.

I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought about it, my test levels are relatively low for a early twenties guy like me... it's just I can't do them whilst obese, and becoming not obese requires effort and dedication (I've done it before, from XL>Medium clothes, because who uses weight as a metric?) but my ability to do anything is completely fucking quashed. No matter how much inspiration and health warnings from doctors and no matter how sick and disgusted I feel when I see myself.. I don't care. It's so fucked up. I used to be able to CARE about how I look and go on a fast for a week nowadays.. no will.

your situation is no different from any other person who wants to lose weight

you know exactly what to do

coming to Veeky Forums to tell your life story and get a pity party isn't exactly that though

You can roid while obese. You'll just potentially need more AI.

I think I've got the gyno, wew lads.

Won't roidz make all my obesity hormones turn into estrogen or some shit and make everything worse?
The point of my post is that this situation different from when I lost weight in the past, I literally have no capacity for prolonged output.. So what the fuck do I do? Hypnosis? Meth?

The obesity increasing estrogen stuff isn't as pronounced as people make out. Yes you will have more estrogen produced than if you were lean but you can control it quite easily with an AI.

Just go for it bro, test could be what you need to get you back on track to motivation and Veeky Forumshood.

Get to work instead of browsing Veeky Forums? Go talk to a psycholog and get meds, or friends, or whatever but move your ass.

You've done it once you can make it twice.

Friends and meds are mostly a no-go, I've done all the meds and therapy- this apathy is a singular variable in all of this mess that doesn't tie in with any of my previous problems. And all of my friends left me after I went psycho, I don't know how to make real friends anymore.

Why did I watch that whole gif?

You owe it to yourself, thats all you need. Stop making excuses. Do you want to stay fat or to get ripped? Make a choice and stick with it.

what is a good Aromatase inhibitor to buy?

>The point of my post is that this situation different from when I lost weight in the past, I literally have no capacity for prolonged output.. So what the fuck do I do? Hypnosis? Meth

your situation is not different
you are a fat fuck who needs to lose weight

so you can either
a. lose the weight
or
b. don't the lose weight

pick one and fuck off this thread is pointless self defeatist bullshit
we can't do anything for you here

I don't have any excuses, I need to drop the weight and gain back my strength and endurance.

Look, literally nothing is happening.. I feel literally no urge to do anything at all.

It's like my logical thinking and emotional responses are completely separate from each other.

Cancel your gym membership. There's no point in pissing away your money until you are able to stick to a decent diet for a month. Fat loss is primarily from the kitchen, not from exercise.

You don't need to be motivated, you just need to exercise.

Aromasin. (aka exemestane)
Pretty much side effect free, won't cause an estrogen rebound when it wears off either like arimidex can.

12.5mg every 3 days should control estro. If not, up it to every 2 days.

Personally I take it every 5 days at 12.5mg and that controls my estro fine on 500mg of test per week.

Get dressed, go to the gym and grab a fucking dumbbell.

You don't want it enough, stay fat then.

I'll do it you fuck, I'll fucking do it.

Can't cancel a contract.

That's the spirit faggot.

C'MOOOOOOOOON

Aromasin should be taken every day m8. Preferably even 2 doses split up throughout AM/PM

I'm am were you are brah.

Lost my gf, lost my friends, lost respect from those who knew me, lost my gainz due to depression and its vicious cycle of misery, flunked 4 semesters at my university and gained tons of weight.

I am effectively more miserable than I've ever been in my life, even more than when I started lifting for the first time.


Last week was probably one of the worst moments in my life. Suicide ideations constantly throught the day. BUT I'm still not willing to give up. I think what keeps us depressed people alive is the hope that things will eventually get better. If you still cling to that hope, then you should push yourself even if you have 0 confidence in your self. Just do it and you'll eventually regain your confidence as you recover your gainz. Good luck man.

what do you want from us?
to live your life?
do you want pitty?
nobody here cares about you
probably most people you know in real life dont care about you
why get fit? why lift?
do it for yourself
you are the only person that matters
we are all alone on this
we have one chance at this
make the best out of it or just end it right now pussy

I don't really pity you bro you have had the Chad lifestyle before and you have what it takes to get that back. I can't relate to being hung up over an ex because I have no exes I'm unable to form connections because in the past every attempt to has been painful and humiliating. A lot of us are out here working hard every day to get what you had, so get back in shape or don't I really don't care if you want to be a fat slob you are one less male I have to compete with.

holy shit this is a long gif what the fuck

Don't think about suicide bro, such a silly thought. I'm confident my life will be far greater than this, you must share this confidence.
I forgot how real Veeky Forums is.
You guys are right, I need to get back in the game.

see a therapist and see if it helps.