Veeky Forums bro's, bad news. I cheated like a bitch when I was 18 and took test and gear

Trying, but i'll be damned if it isn't the most difficult thing i've ever endured. and it's just all day every day... Can't escape it. I just want to feel normal again. I feel less than normal compared to peers who knew better than to cheat like I did. I get super depressed over it desu without sounding like a cuck

Man I feel for you, but if it's any consolation you've convinced me as a 19 year old to not roid.

man I'll advocate against it for the rest of my life. Don't listen to anyone who tells you it's not bad. It is. Stay natural. I'd give anything to go back, but in the mean time I just pray I can feel normal again. It's hard sometimes senpai

Dude, just don't do anything stupid like kill yourself or some dumb shit. If I were you, I'd try and get with an endo to see if they can fix your shit or at least get you started.

I'm not sure whether to say to be completely honest with them or not cause you don't want to get in trouble but maybe that's a good idea?

How old are you now mang? How long were you on the gas for
A Dr can give you test if you're having hormone issues

take trt
feel good
???
win

This is why they ban steroids. For dumb shits like you who dont do their fucking research before injecting their asses. And I'm a juice monkey too.

Also a Dr can't and won't get you in trouble over this shit think about the hundreds of ppl on gear that end up having to get hrt and stuff

>before injecting their asses
inb4 he took orals only

24 now, been a long time since I stopped but dude that one year has fucked me up for life lol. Docs said levels were fine but I still feel like less than normal.... for years and years now. I can't escape the regret

What specifically did you take?

won't let me, i'm on 24, they say levels are fine but I'm always in a funk... can't shake it. I see my mistakes, I feel it, I hear it when I speak, I notice it when people look at me crazy that haven't seen me in years.. embarassing as fuck desu, part of me wants to get back on just to feel normal again. part of me feels that damage has been done, i'm really just extremely upset with myself overall

>won't let me
diy

na i took it all. yes, i was 18 and naive. surrounded by people i looked up to in the field, thought they had my best interest at heart. they should have told me to stay the fuck away. but they were on and they said, hey we're fine.... fuck them. There is no right way to juice man. sorry. it's retarded, just stay natural mayne

test, deca, winnie, eq and I think that's it. but it's just the fact that i was so young and going so hard that really fucked me i think

You have depression, your levels are normal so it's not the roids making you feel like this.

im done playing self-doctor lol if that's what you're implying broda. im just hoping there's some remedy out there to make me feel normal again.

fuck dude i just want to get over the depression and anxiety. i have it real bad now. so embarrassing to talk to people about why I've changed so much without being completely honest with them.. and when I do, it usually leans toward, "But you should have known better." well no shit lol

Why not just cruise on low dose test?

Sure you may not be able to have kids, but it must be better than what you're experiencing now.

do you take any other PEDs now? even simple ones like an ECA stack, DNP, or adderall? i turn 23 in a month and was thinking of hopping on some juice.

that's what I've been thinking but it kills me that i put myself in this situation. I do want to have kids. I don't want to have all these fucked up SE, i just want to feel normal again like it was before I started... And it was for such a short time is what's astonishing. I did lifelong damage in about 10 months time tops.... crazy. Tried to get TRT but docs said levels were too high to prescribe.. Plus, they say if you do take TRT freeze some good sperm now so you can use it later. I do want to get on some TRT though for sure. I know it would help. I'm just hoping there's something I can do to remedy my situations naturally first if you know what i mean

So is it all mental or is there physical issues you speak of? What makes you "less than normal" ?

Can you greentext what excatly happened to you? You haven't excatly given us the specifics.

No I don't. The funny thing is, when I was 16 and first started working out I did 0 drugs, sugar, fast food, anything like that. I was on my way. But I got impatient, met some wrong people and things happened... I'd give anything to go back to that day and just say no, motherfuckers. But they were my "boys" and thought they were trustworthy people. Naive I know. I was fresh out of HS

both dude. I get depressed just knowing what I was before and what I am now that the drugs did their thing... I look at peers and see healthy individuals and get upset knowing that was and could still be me before I cheated like an impatient asshole. The pain, like I said, is wrecked cartilage. Everywhere dude, already had 2 SLAP procedures in my soldiers and i feel my hips are torn too.... fuck. stupid fucking drugs. not to mention what possible effects the test had on a young 18 year old male either...

extreme anxiety too.. i have a hard time being around people that knew me, pre, during, and post cycles. they know I've changed. not everyone knows its from the drugs

how much of your gains have you lost since you stopped? also post before/During/after pic.

You could probably just PCT your balls back to use in the middle of TRT

If Dorian Yates could have kids, you could too

you're a dumb weak faggot who doesn't know how to pin or train.

sucks to be you, an hero and stop crying.

Man, I truly feel bad for this dude, if he is for real. For males, the peak natural, evolutionary evolved testosterone levels are from ages 16-27. No one should wreck their bodies, internal organs, and livelihood before then, because you are in your prime. It is prime time to not only leave humanity behind, but live a quality life past the age of 35...to tell it and still have the body to show for it. After then? Do whatever you want I guess, but the window is not closed. Most take steroids because they are feeling inadequate and insecure. Then, on their death beds at age 45 with severe liver cancer, with their loving wife and young children at their bedside, ask if it was all worth it.

No one should ever do steroids. I hope people like OP campaign in their respective communities.

Fucking bait

Seriously I have been researching roids for about a year now and have been lifting for 2. I thought about hopping on a low dose of test e and dianabol. I made my research and know how to do it. The problem is I am 20 years old. Will I end up like OP? Or is it a shot worth taking when I know my shit?

Well that fucken sucks bro. I feel you to an extent because due to poor decisions and life choices I fucked myself so that every single day I get consistent pain in various parts of my body; but it is what it is. There's nothing I can do to fix it. I could take painkillers every day but that'd to its own damage. So I've learnt to deal with it. Regretting anything is just wasted energy. Learn from your mistakes. Deal with the hand you were dealt or dealt yourself. Nothing lasts forever.

As for the mental issues, I've been there too. The same applies -- it won't last forever -- but you can get help. Psychoanalysis is not to be disregarded. They can help. Same with anti depressants, although I'm not an advocate.

It is what it is, bro. But you're strong enough to get through it and become stronger in the end. It takes the smallest of steps but it can happen.

Don't listen to people like this. You can tell their life is pathetic and have never done anything worth noting.

Can't do that because of tattoos, would rather remain user. but I was getting great gains from 16 yo-18, training hard and eating right... But i felt that after 2 years (lmao) I should already be achieving top-level goals... impatient.. Then my two "friends" were like, hey we compete, we break records, wanna train with us? im like fuck yea, after a few weeks of training they hit me with the we do drugs and one of us sells them too... fucking bastards. so i'm like if they do it it can't be so bad. Tried it and it definitely worked. but the thing is, that's all fake muscle lol. so when i got off.... so did my results. not even to where i was before i got on originally, even smaller now. lost it all, plus internal damage like cartilage and what not.. baka

dumb weak faggot that would beat your pussy ass to a pulp. comeatmebro

precisely brother. Praise God I'm still alive, but it is tough some times. I just want to get out of this funk...

>No one should ever do steroids

You are 100% correct. Unless you have decencies and your doc prescribes. The rest is for lazy fucks who don't want to put in the real work. I wanted to put in the real work but I was tired of feeling "Small".. I could have been an absolute beast by now.

wanna hear something funny? I worked out from 16-18 naturally, (Two years) took roids for one year and stopped at 19. It's been 6 years and all I've been doing is withering away in pain and regret looking for a positive way out. I can't be hopeless. No sob stories, what's done is done but I'm just trying to start over so to speak, or at least best i can without hating myself 24/7 anymore

ask your doctor bro. stay natural imo, train hard and eat right and the results will be way better. and it'll be something to be more proud of.

Plus, when cheating fags get off, they lose everything. Like I've said previously, you don't go back to normal, you got back to below normal. that's why they say you're never supposed to stop once you get on (Completely retarded logic) I'd give anything to go back

the only correct answer is that you'll never know until you try. However, it's not recommended at your age, as the risks are bigger. How much bigger? Depends on your body.

trying to take the small steps but it's a struggle... praise God I haven't ended my own life yet or better yet he's loved me enough to keep me alive still, i will not give up, though. I just pray there's help.

Ok thanks for your advice bro!
I will definetely talk to a doctor

definitely talk to him first. he'll prob tell you no but it's better than talking to some lowlife faux bodybuilders.

>Never know until you try
Why try at all.. Sure it makes you big, but once you come off, your world changes for the worst. That's why they say never get off once you start. I don't want to get back on but my life has been paying the price since.

>but once you come off, your world changes for the worst
not really

Explain how not... Life sucks or at least lowers when you get off your cycles compared to what it was like while you were on or before you ever started.... You go back to below normal, get weaker, effects take notice, people notice, until what? Your next cycle? Don't act like the shit does absolutely nothing negative for you brah

The only period that sucks is the one month on PCT, after you come off. Then your test levels should get back to normal.

We can agree to disagree. Once you start, life is never the same. I respect your opinion, though. Take it easy big swole

wtf u talking about? how are not feeling normal? what side effects you've got?

well, i'm just giving you my opinion too. I'm on my first cycle for now. Don't see much difference from normal life desu

you think you are weaker because you got lot stronger lot faster than you would, i went from 80kg bench to 100kg in 2 months on low doses of tren and test, on my PCT it dropped to 90kg but it was still higher than before cycle, and also my arms got a lot bigger, like about 2,5'' on those 2 months, it was pretty cool

I havent read the whole tread but if your Dr tell you youre ok, then most likely you are, you are just depressed you felt was is like as superman and youre stuck with clark kent, I felt similar at some point and ive alway been natty, I was 15 joined a gym, noob gains all over for a good year, But then my family got poor as fuck, had to leave gym, couldnt eat right saw my gains wither until I ended skelly mode. I was depressed as fuck. So dont blame roids for your situation

gyno, voice sounds different, soft muscles, extreme joint and cartilage pain, praying to God my insides are alright...

>gyno, voice sounds different
did you take AI when you felt gyno?

>on my first cycle
What are you taking?
and this is my point
>The cycles are never supposed to end, especially if you're using test.... You stop for a lil, lose everything, feel weak and like a little bitch, then get back on. It's weak man. I'd trade everything to go back to being natty. I am now, but it's not the same as it was before I started. you know?

>What are you taking?
test E only

Hey man, probably it will never end.
Do I care? Not really.
If i'll have money, i'll keep doing it.
Maybe I'll die younger, i'm willing to take the risk.
As long as i'll have money , i'll do it.
if i won't have money even to buy steroids, that means i've got a lot worse problems than those problem

well, i didn't had gyno neither my voice changed, i always lifted everyday so idk if that helped my muscles not geting soft i guess, only part that hurt was my wrist, so i kept biceps workout as light as i did before
if you want to make your shit normal again, go to a doctor and tell what happened, he probably will recomend a good low TRT and lab made test is amazing

OP is absolutely colossal bait.

people are falling for this?

Read my earlier post, the faggots who conned my into thinking roids was smart never told me about PCT so I got off cold turkey thinking i would return to normal. I was 18, naive, and had terrible influences around me. Then I start notciing things like gyno and decide I need to get back on to take PCT, kinda helped but not like I wanted. I partly blame myself but i thought these people were looking out for me... naive again,

I truly hope you feel better soon OP.

This might sound stupid, but try mindfulness meditation every day for a few weeks and see how you feel. Meditation is a bumpy road but taking a step back and looking at the process you can see it's a steady climb upwards.

It helps alleviate depression, anxiety, and helps the brain repair and grow.

oh man, that sucks.
HOpe you'll be well after

Steroids are viscous man. I hope you make it out alright. that shit is no joke.... Idk what I should do. its been some years since I've been off but things have not changed as far as physically and mentally feeling better. I'm hurting big time.

im not baiting brotein

can you link me some good info anonswole? I think the average person who did what I did would have ended it by now.... And I can see why, the stuff is no joke. I don't wanna be like Rich Piana or Arnold, I wanna be like me

thanks dude

i mostly started it cause of depression desu
don't have it anymore, but cant stop midway

what would you recommend saying? I don't think i'd get in trouble for being honest with a doc, right?

bro, I'm 20 now and when I was 18 - 19 I didn't roid but took too many drugs. I felt on top of the world like I had everything together. I was even pretty yolked and when girls were around me they felt ecstacy, I'm not playing. Even when I was sober they were all over me. I embodied that feeling as me and everything was crazy good.

So from 16- 18 I was on Prozac, and I think this was a major part of the feeling I had. It was unnatural happiness.

I got off at 18, slow taper. Then after some drug combos I took one bad e pill, then got in an accident, then had my appendix removed.

Now I'm fucking 20 and nothing's the same. I'm embarrassed of people seeing who I became. I have anxiety and sometimes I contemplate my life, even had a couple stunts and one near miss crash because of wanting to die.

Bro idk if this is even related to your feelings but you sound a fuckton like me. Just making our ways though these feelings. My levels are all good too.

If you're seriously considering test but your levels are normal, try fucking Prozac man. You can still have babies, you'll function better, and live happy.

I'm hesitant because it could give you minor Ed, however it's way better then having fucked up babies.

Anyway, weird how similar your story is to mine. I've looked up some stuff. Imposter syndrome is something that made me think, check it out. I'll be lurking if u wanna keep talking or ask me shit.

I just wanna be me again. I had such a strong journey planned man.

Oh and the ppl I was around, told me they knew so much about the drugs and how much to take and how it's all okay for you and that I'll just be fine*...

You plan on juicing for life? what about your offspring bro?

Spray and pray brah

yeah i don't wanna take any drugs unless doc says so. I just want to feel right again. It's not just my psyche, it's the physical pain i endure 24/7 ever since. One year of stupidity is costing me a lot.... Just glad to be alive and also just want to feel right lol

went to a psychi and he tried to put me on all that stuff but I hated it. made me feel even less human, like a robot. Not to mention the terrible side effects it had on me from day 1: couldn't sleep, blurred vision, throwing up..felt like death dude.

how much are you taking? hope that works for you dude, read my original description. save some of that primetime sperm so you can use it for later once your on the TRT

i thought i was taking 500 mg a week, seems like i was taking 600 mg..
Not much change desu

i'll stop maybe, maybe not

See a psychiatrist and a therapist. Using roids when you're not yet fully an adult is bad, but if your hormone levels and other stuff are normal it may not be physical after effects of roids but more mental.

The doctor isn't going to get mad at you or get you into trouble for being honest, they're there to help you after all.

maybe dude, they've all said my levels are fine but my mind is my own worst enemy fore sure. I can't get over it. I've got so much torn cartilage and what have you that day to day life is more difficult than it should be for someone my age desu..

that's what i was thinking... but like i've said, they've tested my levels, two different results from two different docs. both so they are ok. but i look around at other 20+ kids my age and can just tell we're different (Me frmr abuser, them natural) it hurts to know i can't be like that anymore over a dumb decision lol

What people should get from this, is what every resource site on steroids will tell you:

1. Your test levels will never be the same as before
2. ALWAYS PCT
3. DON'T USE MORE THAN ONE AAS YOUR FIRST CYCLE
4. USE AN AI AND HCG IF NEEDED
5. Research research research

OP sorry this fucked you and it's a good warning but don't fear monger

lol nobody is fear mongering.. i was just looking for answers. if you actually read through the post you would have seen that I was actively speaking out to turn people away from these faux drugs. If anything, people can learn from my mistake and I have no problem sharing what I've learned. Drugs are bad nobody what any juice head tries to tell you. stay natty. peace man

I'm glad you're still here.

Here's some meditation info: mindful.org/mindfulness-meditation-guided-practices/

That's my point. Steroids are fine if you're past 22, as long as you're smart with how you use them as well as be attentive to your body. What you're doing is trying to scare people away from a legitimate way to boost test levels that's safe as long as you practice due diligence. You didn't, and are now taking the consequences. Your message should be: don't blindly inject steroids, or break every rule of responsible steroids use. Not: stay away oooh drugs are bad mkay

This is what happens when you're a genetic defect. I started my first cycle when i was 17, did blood work before and after. My natty test levels pretty much doubled after and have stayed at a decent amount since.

Just go and become a tranny OP. You're a bitch.

that's where we differ. you sound just like me, i know you're older. but I would always say "its safe if you know what you're doing." lol that's a joke. stay natural till your doc prescribes trt. Just cause you want more gainz and you're 22+ doesn't mean you're ok do juice up. shit is retarded and you only do it for selfish reasons unless, like i said, a doc says you need them and prescribes you keep doing you homie. I'm just looking for answers. not have a pissing contest.

a bitch that would end your life, comeatmebro. drugs are for lazy cheaters and insecure beta males. fuck with me bitch

Bitch please, i've got enough test running through me to turn your mother into bigfoot. fuck with me infidel

>taking steroids is bad
>but when the doctor says to do it it's okay

roid raging faggot, that shit doesn't scare me bro. not trying to start a fight but you are not hard. And even if you could use that fake muscle to whoop my ass, your brain ain't strong enough to stop a bullet, meathead

well test and roids are two different things... i don't know exactly how trt works but i'm pretty sure it's just test.... and i know a couple kids in hs that needed roids and other things to help them grow and what not

if someone wants to sell his life to bodybuilding,competing etc he should do steroids,otherwise you can achieve a great body naturally

Trt is just test. So what's the difference between 250 mg Test E prescribed by the doc, and 250 mg Test E you decide to do solo?

What I'm getting from this thread is;

>blast roids at a young age without any knowledge
>no PCT
>doctor says your lucky ass is fine
>"boohoo I feel sad, must be the roids :("

If anything, the steroids stunted your brain development, because you still sound like a retarded teenager.

Honestly it sounds like roids aren't really the problem