Awkward shit

I have to deliver my jizz in a bottle to Kaiser tomorrow sometime before 1pm. I have an hour to get my jizz there after cumming in a jaw. And I have to keep it warm in my pocket so the sperm don't die.

I think I moon a day something like "I have this specimen Doctor wanted" when I go to the lab receptionist. They gave me a biohazard bag too. Damn. It's so awkward. But not as awkward as having a guy watch you pee I a jar right next to you for a drug test. Last time I have two guys watch me pee because I couldn't go first time and second time the guy left so there was another.

Man will I ever get a break. But it's good to know you know? If you can have kids and stuff. It's something every guy should know.

Anyone here sterile? My worst nightmare desu.

Also I wasn't supposed to jack off 2/3 days prior so there's that too

Are you stoned?

Tomorrow after I bust my nut Ina get high af senpai. Ima turn upp

she looks like miranda cosgrove. Is it actually her? wtf

What the fuck are you trying to say?

Where you dropped from a plane when you were a kid.

Wtf.

...

My mom called my doctor and said to him "What's the most accurate measurement for weighing?"
The doctor said "An underwater weighing test"
And just like that, my mom said "Yes. When can my son and my daughter can take it?" and the doc said "Today at 2pm."

So, I didn't bother taking a shower and so did my sister too, so I had to get into a special swimming suit(tight pants...Ugh).

My sister said "Can I pull my hair down to a ponytail?" The doctor said "No."
So my sister with her long, blonde hair went underwater with 8 seconds and had she must enjoyed it..but I didn't.

>first day back on Veeky Forums in months
>somebody is trying to bring back this story
This place never changes

someone post the whole thing

what fuck O.P your english not nice

you sister sounds like a big guy

There was this place in Las Vegas called "Dragon.." something, it's been closed for a while. They used to have "all you could eat" king crab legs, not that snow crab bullshit.

Being my favorite food in the world second only to lobster, I would pack those bad boys on my plate and chew through them like they owed me money.

Well one day as I was eating, one of the workers there approached me and said: "You eat too much! Stop eating so much crab!" And even though I'd like to say that I told her off, and that I put up a good argument in favor of my ability to eat as much crab as I wanted and she let me be, but these Asian buffets are no fairy tale worlds. I never told anyone that happened to me, but everyone knows what happens in those places.

Yes, the underwater weight test is the most accurate. It also provides
B.M.I. information, %age of body fat, which is also important! It's also easy, isn't it? Unless, of course, you're a baby who is afraid to get your face wet. Would you like a little cheese with that whine? ;) Where's Sis? Why isn't she so shocked at Mom?

Now, WHY would your mom want an extremely accurate weight test performed on you AND your sister? Are you stealing auto parts and building a car in your bedroom? Sneaking pallets of Oreos and then denying that you ate them? Did Mom schedule you both for H2O tests every week, same day? Are you supposed to be on a diet but you're cheating? Are you diabetic, and lying? Well, that would be SO dumb, since you can kill yourself! Over a handful of sweets? I don't think so!! Oh, how old are you and Sis ? So, you didn't shower. Ewww. Wahhh. And you had to squeeze your giant self into tight pants? Bragging? AGAIN? :D

So, update us and give us the REASON you believe that making you go for a weight test is "Stooping so low"! Then, with those facts, perhaps you'll get answers.

I'd offer this, though, JUST on the facts you gave us.
You are darn stinking LUCKY to have a Mom who would drop everything to get you to the doctor's, and I hope you appreciate it! You probably even ate lunch 'out'. Right? Ohh, poor you. Unless you're already 'gordo', sneaking food, etc., and we're waiting for that answer.

The fact that YOUR MOM cares about your health, your weight, and, YIKES, she probably makes you do homework, too! How RUUUDE. Does she make you play sports? Ride your bike? Have time limits on TV & computer? Go to (oh, how embarrassing!) Back To School Nights? Because she cares about the bonehead teenager who probably still doesn't refill the toilet paper roller because HE doesn't need it that often?

YOU better get OFF your high-horse, get down on your knees and thank your MOM in 3 language!

czheched

That's Anna.

4 u

>Kaiser

que

Dragon Emperor buffet at the Imperial Palace?

Dude, just go and tell the receptionist: "I've cum per the doctor's order." trying to be a funny cunt, but instead ending up looking autistic as fuck, like ya are.

There he is. There he goes again. Look, everyone! He posted it once again! Isn't he just the funniest guy around?! Oh my God.


I can almost see your pathetic overweight frame glowing in the dark, lit by your computer screen which is the only source of light in your room, giggling like a like girl as you once again type your little Bane thread up and fill in the captcha. Or maybe you don't even fill in the captcha. Maybe you're such a disgusting NEET that you actually paid for a Veeky Forums pass, so you just choose the picture. Oh, and we all know the picture. The "epic" CIA agent guy, isn't it? I imagine you little shit laughing so hard as you click it that you drop your Doritos on the floor, but it's ok, your mother will clean it up in the morning. Oh, that's right. Did I fail to mention? You live with your mother. You are a fat fucking fuckup, she's probably so sick of you already. So sick of having to do everything for you all goddamn day, every day, for a grown man who spends all his time on Veeky Forums posting about a capeshit movie. Just imagine this. She had you, and then she thought you were gonna be a scientist or an astronaut or something grand, and then you became a NEET. A pathetic Banefag NEET. She probably cries herself to sleep everyday thinking about how bad it is and how she wishes she could just disappear. She can't even try to talk with you because all you say is "FOR YOU FOR YOU FOR YOU." You've become a parody of your own self. And that's all you are. A sad little man laughing in the dark by himself as he prepares to indulge in the same old dance that he's done a million times now. And that's all you'll ever be.


Forever...

What is this picture?