Tinder Bio

if it aint white it aint right

It really doesn't matter that much.

What matters is how attractive you are for the most part.

Just post good photos of yourself and keep at it. It's a numbers game

"Women's rights"

i switch between “i got small meat and nut fast“ and “i eat ass“

LOOK, LET'S FUCKING CUT THE FUCKING BULLSHIT. I'M A 5% GUY LOOKING FOR A 5% GAL THAT WILL GIVE ME 100% OF HER LOVE. I LIVE FAST, EAT BIG, DRIVE EXPENSIVE CARS AND DON'T TYPE IN LOWERCASE. I WORKOUT 7 DAYS A FUCKING WEEK AND DO WHATEVER IT FUCKING TAKES TO BE THE BEST MOTHER FUCKER I CAN BE. I NEED A HARDCORE CHICK THAT'S READY TO FUCK LIFE UP AND GET SOME MONEY LOL

Interests:
LIFTING WEIGHTS IS MY LIFE AND I WILL FUCKING DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO BE THE 5% OF MOTHERFUCKERS THAT CAN LIFT BIG WEIGHTS. I WANT A CHICK THAT CAN SPOT ME WHEN I LIFT FAKE PLATES FOR PHOTOSHOOTS AND HELP ME PERFECT MY OPEN MOUTH SCREAM POSE. I FUCKING LOVE FOOD AND PITBULLS AND I'LL GET MORE MONEY TO BUY MORE 5% PITBULLS AND MORE FOOD. ICE CREAM IS THE SHIT

Message me if:
FUCKING MESSAGE ME IF YOU'RE READY TO TAKE YOUR LIFE TO A PLACE WHERE ONLY 5% FREAKS LIVE. A LIFE FILLED WITH FAST CARS, LOTS OF MONEY, PROTEIN, TANNING OIL AND VARIOUS ASSORTMENTS OF HAIR AND GENITAL TRIMMING TOOLS. GET READY TO HERE "RIGHT BABE" WHEN YOU MAKE ME SMILE THEN LATER WE CAN DRIVE 200MPH WHILE YOU SUCK MY DICK! LOL JK BUT SERIOUSLY I LOVE PROTEIN SHAKER CUPS

First Date:
FIRST DATE WE'RE GONNA MAKE A FUCKING 5% YOUTUBE VLOG VIDEO WITH THIS FUCKING BLACK GUY I KNOW. FUCKING BLACK GENETICS GOD DAMMIT, RIGHT BABE? AFTER THAT WE CAN FUCKING ORDER SOME FUCKING CHICK FIL A AND FUCKING FILM MY MERCEDES IN THE PARKING LOT. TATTOOS ARE GREAT FOR FIRST DATES AND WE CAN GET MATCHING TATTOOS AND I'LL PROPOSE TO YOU WITH A 5% WATER JUG AND WE CAN DO DONUTS IN THE PARKING LOT TO PISS OF SMALL CATS IN THE ALLEYS AND OLD PEOPLE LMAO RIGHT BABE.

Pick 4-5 random lines from pic related.

Done.

>dating apps

>ICE CREAM IS THE SHIT

my favourite is this

>6'3". that's height and length

Alright, listen here, I'm going to tell you how to have an amazing tinder profile.

1 - you need a pic of you NOT looking at the camera. Girls DO NOT like pictures of you looking straight in the camera. Men tend to be overpowering with their stares, you want to be more gentle.Take one with you looking off to the side or to the bottom corner or something. Lighting is also super important. Your other pics (in order of importance) need to include you doing some hobby, with some animal, with some group (preferably 1-2 girls clearly platonically, girls don't like competition) or being funny. Girls just need 1-2 pics of you looking good and then they need to know you aren't a creep who browses Malaysian sock puppet forums. Those thousands of selfies with your shirt off? Scrap that. You have to make this shit look candid.

2 - your bio needs to be short and sweet. Don't do this "likes: x y z, looking for a b c". No one gives a shit. Girls like to be trendy and basic. You need something like "Traveller, dog lover, pizza connoisseur. Let's trade Ted Cruz memes."

3 - if you start a conversation, don't be boring. A guaranteed response is some song lyrics. "I chime in with a..." or something catchy that is popular and everyone knows. Girls love pop shit.

4 - right swipe everyone. You always have the option to unmatch if you get a whale (after manning the harpoons of course)

Follow this and you'll get 40 matches a day easy. Don't do that tinder pro thing, that's retarded. Don't look like a creep, be short and sweet, right swipe everyone, come up with a clever way to make girls respond. DO NOT just send "hey".

i could lick you or whatever

>shitimbald

every fucking time

>4 - right swipe everyone. You always have the option to unmatch if you get a whale (after manning the harpoons of course)

Tinder makes note of that and it changes your potential matches

So much fucking effort, just hire a damn hooker it's a lot easier and you'd probably get way hotter women.

*Minor adjustment

Just don't swipe on anything below a 5.

always this:
fuark

holy hell

I always like to mention how I am 6 foot and 4 inches (two separate measurements)

"Nobody reads this shit. Prove me wrong"

"Just handsome enough to be within your league, just ugly enough to have developed a sense of humor"

single father of three beautiful step children
5'7

thats actually pretty funny

t-thanks

Guys. Tonight I escaped wizardry.

fucking shitimbald causing my sides to obliterate again, goddamnit

Gj user. We're all gonna make it

...

Roses R red
My finger is brown
I just put my finger
In my bum bum

I can't get any matches. What do?

>tfw three girlfriends

Shit guys I'm nervous. How to juggle?

>tfw you realize you're too ugly for Tinder

Topkek Everytyme

I know this is an old pic but just so you know, almost every online dating site/app shows you people based on an internal "score". That means if you're ugly, you're likely only going to see other ugly people.

r8 my profile Veeky Forums

Do you guys swipe yes to everyone or only to people you want?

>matched with a physical trainer at the gym I used to go to
>she gave me her number within like 30 seconds
>now she's giving me the runaround this whole week
shit is stressful. I need to learn to care less.

cool name, nice forearms too broski

I swipe left on fatties and retards that use that cartoon dog photo filter shittery.

u need a pic showing ur teeth

WRONG
1. One pic with shirt off
Gets those sluts messaging you for one thing and one thing only
2. Make an original joke in your bio
3. Watch them roll in ... And then out of your bed in the morning

seems fine but I would make pic 2 or pic 3 your main picture

>kek

Actually heaps good. Nice job guy

>'Dogs are life'
>'One love'
>'White pussy was made for black dick'
fuck. not OP but this is the shit that ruins people for me.
>see girl i'm into's profile on social media
>its full of stupid normie shit
>into the trash

>actually balk up courage to ask a girl out
>go to dinner
>entire time just inane verbal garbage
>i say something either over her understanding by mistake or offensive to her modern, brainwashed "worldview"
>acts like i'm from another planet

EVERY GODDAMN TIME. Grills think i'm cute til they get to know me and i hate everyone, especially me.

I would get rid of your 1st picture

>tfw have a tinder
>not really looking to hook up or date
>just like the ego boosts when attractive girls like and super like me
Honestly it's just for my own self esteem issues for never having been accepted in the past and it is nice to chat here and there.

My advice for those who want to actually meet with someone they match with is to not wait too long to ask for a number and/or set up a meet up. Most of these chicks, even the super interested ones, would stop talking to me completely after 2-3 days. So act fast

I would just get all new pictures the pictures you have make you look autistic.

1 is good except you look like you have an underbite.
2. Is the most awkward pose/way to flex
3 your eyes look to dopey
4 is fine
5 you look like a rapist 5 beers deep. Show your teeth when smiling

>this is why ill never post pics of myself on this website

fucking lost it at "AND DON'T TYPE IN LOWERCASE"

>go on reddit's tinder sub
>top post is about a guy who matched with a girl who posts on reddit's hotwife board who's tinder profile pic is her reddit username
>history is full of pictures and videos of her, as a 20 year old married girl, doing ass to mouth and fucking random guys all over the place
>all the guys on the sub are telling OP (the guy who matched her) how lucky he is and to fuck the shit outta her

that place is fucking sad. i swear to fucking christ, i have never seen anything sadder than this in along time

>implying the girl you match with and go out with hasn't sucked 36 dicks

>going to tinder for chaste quality women

yes because seeing that a girl has a cuckold husband and seeing pictures and videos of her doing filthy acts with dozens of different men (besides her cuckold husband) is the same as just getting with a girl out of the blue, not having to have footage of her previous (and current) sexual exploits in your mind

For you

I don't use tinder cause of gf, I've gotten quite a few matches even though I literally have all my pictures from 2 different beach trips..

but why pay? I didn't even know tinder was charging now.

holy shit you look like a massive fucking faggot

kek this

Well it works

>people actually defending that behavior in the thread

Human sentience was a mistake

>i dont use tinder cause of gf
>posts pics of his tinder
>claims it works

??????????????

I don't respond I only swipe

>tfw having conversation and she keeps demanding I tell her what I do

Am I the only one rustled by this

>always considered myself to be ugly
>create tinder account
>only like girls that I consider to be good and no desperate swipes
>get tons of matches actually
I don't know this feel. Am I not that ugly after all?

Amidoinitrite

Gave me a good chuckle, thanks user.

If you get any matches at all, you are in the top 20%. If you get tons of matches, you're in the top 2%.

I kinda doubt that but it still makes me feel good. I only posted a picture of my face, nothing else.

being black on Tinder is a meme
especially if you're still in college

What does that even mean?

You kept that poor woman up for no reason. How rude :/

>tfw over 1k matches
>many of which initiate the conversation
I'm almost positive it's because I mention I'm a medical student in the bio. Might have to do a social experiment

1k matches? There aren't even nearly that many girls in my area on tinder. Maybe like 200 in total.

if I said that I struggled on Tinder as a black guy, people would be quick to say every white woman wants to have African-American seed or whatever

of course, that's exaggerated but i think some people on this site actually believe white women are more attracted to black people than they actually are just due to the rise of super-liberal culture

>inb4 I'm ugly

I had 1.4k matches in 1.5 years is that good?

That all depends in your area. If you live in a crowded city like NYC that's probably nothing special.

Most people are attracted to the same race as them. If you can't match with black women then you are ugly or your profile sucks

It really helps to live near a college town

Toronto. I don't do desperate swipes so I guess it's alright

She's fat as fuck

tinder has worked out quite well for me, here's some random tips for you anons

don't take it too seriously, it's a stupid hookup app, you should try get a bit of banter in before you go in for the kill (number or setting up a date)

if you don't know what to say when you first talk to a match, bring up some interesting point in their bio, but try to spice up the conversation a bit. Chances are they've already had a million guys say the same shit

"oh you went to University of ___ what did you study?"

could instead be

"I knew all the hot chicks were at University of ____" or something stupid like that.

just banter from there, even if it was a shitty example if you dont understand what i mean you might have autism.

also, snapchat generally goes down well if you're a normie.

alot of the times i've added someone on snapchat, i've had a really interesting/cool story of me doing something that day. this isn't intentional, but once the girl sees you're a normie with a life, it'll probably speed things up instead of trying to banter over nothing.

final tip is don't fuck with any girl looking for anything more than a hookup, you've been warned.

sorry for the sloppy writing im a few beers down

There's a very limited amount of black women in my area. It's honestly a 20-1 ratio. And that 1 might not be attractive. My profile also wasn't that good. I'll have better pics when I redownload in a week and a half

Is moments feature no longer available on tinder? Scored so much v using it damn

I fucking know! Moments was the shit

I'd just upload le swole mirror selfies and enjoyed all the d hungry qts throw themselves at me, those were the days. Why the fuck did they have to remove it

Well, she is tall herself and had no problem to state her weight. No butthurt reaction to your question. Pretty cool. So her asking how tall you are was reasonable. With high heels she's probably 190 cm.

I guess you are a manlet or else you would have replied. I see no problem in just telling her that you are shorter after she was cool about your question. Maybe she is still cool with it, maybe she'll end the conversation. But I'm pretty sure she would have been still respectful. She even gave you another chance by writing 'That's not polite...'

You look like an idiot here.

But Veeky Forums told me girls don't like muscles.

9cm high heels?

i love you

Post her pics, she is alowed to be picky about height as a 181

I have no idea what they are called (high heels or stilettos or some other shit).

Most shoes of my ex gf were like 8 cm at least.