Alright I can't believe I'm asking this but Im asking for help from the chan

alright fine, we're both shitty

>Alright I can't believe I'm asking this but Im asking for help from the chan

Don't worry breh, you've come to the right place!

Act like you want to fuck her, have a good time you lucky bastard. Also how tall are you?

Ask her if she's an archaeologist

You get to her place, make out with her, maybe ask her to suck your dick, if you don't wanna say you're a virgin say you haven't had sex in 3 months, that'll explain why you cum quick the first time, then penor in vagoo and make sure you pull out.

Allright guys I literally just came to the gas station to fill up to full just to see responses. I stopped pumping just to get more time and will tell her its slow

so all the advice is relax and sex her should I like try to sex her the moment we walk in like start putting the moves on or wait. What if she doesnt have condoms and expected me to have some should I go back inside the gas station and buy those 2 pack things?

On the drive over she was talking about how she was watching me get stronger over the past month and said shed be afraid if I was her bf since I could force her to do anything then kinda like changed subjects super fast about pokemon and if I played.

When I get to her place I'll act like I'm putting stuff in my trunk to see if there is any last advice before I either make it or fuck it up and leave to come home early. I'll ask if shes an archeologist if she says no I'll use the full line

Don't ask the archeaologist shit you fucking idiot. When you get to her place and step in go in for a kiss and go on from there. Tell her how you've seen her change over the past months and hint that you are attracted to her. If you're not confident your going to pull out buy condoms right now

Even right now when your driving in your car grab her hand and hold onto it if your capable of driving with one hand but your too autistic too figure out what to do so I doubt you could

Just be natural op. DO NOT DROP THE SPAGHETTI
Also whats the full archaeologist thingy

Just buy the condoms at the gas station fool

DO NOT fucking use the archaeologist line
don't jump into sex right away, just run your hand over her thigh and casually escalate into a fingering, and i think you know where to go from there.

incoming spgahetti story

mods pls dont delete

Pls no archaeologist. Buy condoms for sure. Foreplay first or she wont be wet. When you make out push her back against the wall bitches love that shit. Just go for it as soon as you two walk through the door. If doesn't reciprocate she was teasing you all along.

Ask if she has a gag reflex

NO LINES

OP, THINK

SHE WANTS TO FUCK YOU AS YOU ARE, YOU DON'T NEED TO DO ANYTHING

don't gas stations have condoms?

also, when you guys start turning up, just do whatever you want, whatever feels natural. worst case scenario, she stops you from one thing at one time and you continue as you were

Ask her to join you in the shower retard

Hahhahaah c'mon user

do not do some beta shit like telling her your a virgin or saying its been a while or anything close to that, girls dont want to hear that shit
just try to flirt like you have been doing and act the way she is acting so its not akward, make it seem natural

>dont be beta
>be insecure and pretend you're not going to cum in 15 seconds so she'll be pleasantly surprised when you do

>
godspeed op

if he cums then he cums
there is absolutely no advantage to not owning himself and going on as he has, which has been clearly proven to work for him

I think I spaghettied but I can't tell if she noticed or not. So I filled up and told her I wanted to get a muscle milk or whatever she asked for one as well it was my way of buying the condoms without her wondering why I went back in to the store. My wallet is stuffed with money for tomorrow which doesnt matter but I just thought of movies where they had the condom in wallets so I just stuffed it just inside and closed the wallet not putting it in a pocket or whatever since itd be easier to grab

I give her the muscle milk and we start driving to her place shes giving me directions. We are making small talk about the gym when I used the archeologist line yeah I see now everyone saying not to use thanks I needed that earlier.

I ask her if she is one and she laughs no and asks why then I say the full line. She gets quiet then says is that why you have this she grabbed my wallet from the cup holder since I always put it there and I just now realized the condom wrapper was sticking out a little and she was holding it in her hand . I have never felt this hot before in my life but tried playing it cool and just said yes if Im going to fail Id rather not get into her house to fail and just do it now. It got very quiet till she said she stinks and might need to take a shower before me

She is waiting for me inside her apartment I said I need to grab some stuff . I guess I didn't fuck up that bad if she is still letting me in .

Fuck since this is user I can say I'm scared my hearts racing as fuck man.

GO IN FOR THE KILL, IF SHE DIDNT DROP YOU AFTER THAT FUCK UP YOU'RE IN user

He can tell her to suck his dick first.

Advantages: Better sex for girl, 2 cums, dick gets sucked

You fucked up bad retard now she thinks you're autistic because you didn't pick up on her inviting you to shower with her and she just verbally and obviously retracted that offer.

dude you're not gonna make it, bail out now

Amazing

user.. You're making it.

I'm so proud. Get in there champ ;_;

ALRIGHT LADS PLACE YOUR BETS ON THE OUTCOME OF THIS THREAD

500 SHEKELS OP SPAGHETTI'S BEFORE THE FIRST KISS

This is how you do it. Its how I lost my virginity.
Talk big, be confident. Whats the worse that happens? You go to a different gym?

>go to a different gym
a fate worse than death

ok guys she actually did start taking a shower before me and now im just sitting on her bed

We came in and she told me to put my stuff in her room and showed me around then said to absolutely never ever ever ever touch a certain drawer while we were standing next to it but she just kept standing there looking at me. I think she wanted me to open it so I did and it was her bra and panties stuff to which she got like play angry yelling no while hitting me a little on my arm

she said she was going to take a shower first and to wait for her on her bed . my heart is racing as fuck Ive never been this closed to a naked girl before fuck it I'm fucking up who cares if I say that

ok i just started sweating and my hearts racing this might be my last post hopeful or you will get another soon . She is yelling at me to get her a towel and telling me where it is but to keep my eyes closed when she opens the door .

im just going to try to figure out foreplay then see how long I can last when she falls asleep i will leave fuck this might be my first time having sex thanks fit if it works

I believe in our baby boy. Don't be a faggot.

suspense is building desu

why would you?
worst case scenario just delete the memory and act like nothing ever happened, no need to change anything

HE FUCKING DID IT, HE USED THE ARCHAEOLOGIST LINE
Holy shit OP I'm all out of words here hats off to you.

Don't just fucking bail after you guys fuck, stay for the awkward morning.

Who knows, you could be her oneitis.

you can do it, just don't shit the bed

not sure, but she may be testing to see if you'll go in there

i'm not sure because, you know, i can't see her

Holy shit op
go over there you idiot
she wants you to get on the shower with her

lol, if this isn't fake, she knows you are an autistic beta ass virgin, she is teasing you.

Good thing is it seems she wants to fuck you anyway, so, good luck

READ if he's never been this close to naked girl, no way he'll get through foreplay

Is this whole thread a ruse? The dude's typing paragraphs literally next to her.

Yep, it's pretty obvious, he didn't take anyone's advice, the story is pre-written.

so as some of us have been commenting, she may be wanting you to go in there, even if she told you not to go

the rule she gave you with the drawer may very well have been an overt hint
>she told you not to do something, and straight up waited for you to do the opposite

don't be an idiot user

user are you seriously going to wait on her bed? take off your clothes u fucking beta and get in the shower with her she obviously wants to fuck, hurry up nigger

>I asked him to get a towel for me
>and then I he came in ass naked and tried to get in the shower with me

>she told you not to do something, and straight up waited for you to do the opposite

And that is why it's hard to sympathize with so many of the rape victims today

Wait until she pulls out a strap on or some shit
>plot twist
>SHE wants to FUCK you

do you not see she wants to fuck him this whole time? your a fucking idiot. she purposely forgot a towel. might as well start the fug early

Thats how you get a bitch pregnant, use a condom user

no, it's not hard at all
maybe you're trying to be funny, but there are people who seriously think that

her giving him these hints and playfully flirting with him is in no way the same as someone asking a girl for sex, and then proceeding regardless of violent opposition

its about going through the motions and doing the dance, no matter what youll be the autist if you went into the bathroom naked

yea user burst into her shower with a towel over your dong and yell surprise and grope her breasts

kek

>She is yelling at me to get her a towel and telling me where it is but to keep my eyes closed when she opens the door .
dude she straight up wants you to fuck her

fucking seriously, she's holding you by the fucking hand and babystepping everything

fucking a man

please respond

Oh man i had a great laugh. Also nice paragraph typing skills

let her babystep the virgin user, it's easier this way

>sperging out over an user's obliviousness, despite the girl obviously taking care of everything

been caught slippin desu

It's better than being autistic and literally having her do everything for you. It makes you look more like a man if you just go in. Plus fugging in the shower is based.

>works out to get a nicer body that will attract females for sex
>attracts a female that is telling you that she wants to have sex with you
>gets scared and doesn't want to have sex
If you're this autistic just stop working out and stay at home. Fuck

this is the most hilarious thing I have read all day
>this will probably end up happening to me

>tfw I'm a nigga with dreads and have to tell girls I don't want to fuck in the shower because my hair will get wet

This hurts the masculinity.

I really can't discern what you are trying to say

What's the archaeologist line please help

fake as shit and undeserving of its own thread. post this shit in a feels thread where it belongs.

please show an a non-autistic scenario that would lead to sex in the show in OP's case

im sorry user, why dont u just cut the dreads and get a fade instead?

>Is that why you have this?

10/10 story telling, great lead-up

Towel over the dong? I real CHAD would just put a sock, her sock to make it look bigger

OP's an anime watching porn addict for making up stories on a friday night. Keep the fantasies to yourself, virgin.

I'm disappointed in Veeky Forums for eating this shit up but I now realize the actual demographic of this board. Bunch of betas.

I have a big bone for you to inspect

Well considering how she literally hinted to both of them showering at the same time
>she says i can take a shower at her place
>she said she needed a shower as well
if he literally went into the bathroom and took off his clothes i doubt she would consider that autistic at all. She's obviously horny and would let him smash whether or not it was autistic and OP's probably going to do something even more autistic than doing what I stated.

>his whole literal plan is to pull the naked man like an autist skipping foreplay and the buildup

I bet OP would be shit at foreplay anyway since he hasn't even seen a girl naked before you fuck. Who said they couldn't rub up on eachother and make out in the shower and him fingerbanging her? You're dull as fuck user

if you think the naked man is a great route for a first fuck with a girl you are the dumb one

Sure it might not be a good route but OP is a complete sperg and would probably end up going on a way worse route. Nothings better than sex in the shower

Get her to talk to you about random shit by feigning interest. Respond in a way that allows her to talk more (ie: "that shows funny I like that one character")

the greentext is my behavior

then i admit that i have been caught slippin ie put myself in a bad situation, making a mistake, fucked up and now paying for it

even if OP wasn't a virgin the naked man is just being retarded and creates much more risk than necessary

...

why don't you get a high fade

black hair w high fade aesthetic as fuark

What risk is there? The girl obviously is going to have sex with him and is ignoring his autism

They look good (imo), attract the snow bunnies, and cover up the receding hairline. Since I'm mixed and speak without a trace of the "Ebonics accent" hair alone hasn't hindered any of my employment.

The shower thing isn't that big of a deal because a substantial amount of girls will turn down shower sex for the same reason.

being if you don't do the dance its a turn off you nitwit

the moment she invited him over its obvious she wanted to fuck doesn't mean he can strip down in her living room and fuck her right there

>dreads and no ghetto talk
are you a wizard user?

OP is the most autistic fag ever.

Who is asking for advice from a fucking internet community right before they get laid?

not him but dreads aren't a ghetto thing

in chicago they are

OP if you do sleep over, take a picture of her in bed before you leave and for God's sake turn the flash off and turn off all sounds/volumes