The toilet doesn't flush

>the toilet doesn't flush

poor a bucket of water down it m9

>live with parents until 30 in their upper class mcmashion
>all toilets in house can legit flush a elephants shit

>move out into some apartment
>toilets are made for hipster faggots who eat 500 calories a day to fit into skinnyjeans who just shit water
>take a Veeky Forums shit and the toilet instantly blocks

im moving back home once the lease ends

>2016
>eating so much fiber to deal with constipation from gluten and casein that you clog toilets

How is this Veeky Forums related?

>Pour boiling water in the toilet to disolve it
>Have a long rubber glove prepared to get it a shove around the U-bend

Not necessarily in that order, but it usually works. Also piss disolves shit pretty good.

>Putting your hand into the toilet

I just keep flushing until it works

That's what the long rubber glove is for, it aint pretty but it's necessary sometimes.

>being a fatass

It's like you guys never heard of a plunger

This shit is a life saver

I sodomize the toilet with the toilet cleaner

that way the toilet is clean and works again

i literally clog the toilet everytime i shit

dont even bother trying to fix it anymore. i just leave it with the toilet cover down for mom

>public restroom
>poop scissor chain is broken and no poop scissors in sight
>flush anyways
>clogs toilet

>character goes to take a shit
>character takes a shit
>character goes to wipe ass
>character wipes ass
>character flushes ass wipes down toilet instead of just throwing them in the trashcan.

That's a sink plunger, user.

You see, superior Aussie toilets can take wipes and shits

>letting shit stained toilet paper sit in your bin stinking up your whole house

Wait.. that goes in the toliet? I've been using it to suction cup my dick since I was 9.

works fine on my toilet but it's less efficient I know

>not having your 4/10 mom grimmace while she transfers your poopie wipies from the trashcan to the toilet while she pretends not to notice you watching her and fondling your micropenis
Sure is summer in here.

>the toilet doesn't flush at a friends house

Oh boy, that's the worst right there. Pure panic mode

>the toilet doesn't flush at your gf parent's house

when i was like 7 i took a fucking monster meat shit in a girl-friend's house and it clogged up. Started panicking and flushed it a whole bunch

5 mins later there's shit water all over the floor and my massive fucking turn is plopped on the ground

most embarrassing moment of my childhood and i think my brain blocked it out because it took me a long time to remember it.

AUHHHHHHHHHHHHH

>public bathroom scene
>doesn't zoom in and show character obsessively inspecting his ass wipes to see if fecal matter is present or if his anus is clean

>tfw epic sized mastodon shit
>tfw you flush it but it just spins in circles and won't go
>tfw you need to literally beat the shit out of it with toilet brush so it breaks apart into smaller pieces
>tfw brush looks like it's been inside somebody's ass for ages, all riddled with shitnuggets

Everyfuckingtime.dll

I completely trashed this dude's bathroom at a party last night after he just kept running his mouth during beer pong. Like completely destroyed.
>ripped out every drawer and caninet door.
>put dark colored towels in toilet and flushed while ripping out the toilet water knob so he can't turn it off
>took a dump in the shower and used white towels to wipe and left them on the floor
>smashed the mirror
>took all of his toiletries and put them in the shower with my shit
>wrote on the unsmashed part of the mirror in permanent marker "YOU DID THIS"
Lol haven't seen him since but I showed my bro and we couldn't stop laughing. Had to leave like right after lmao.

If there are tiles, smash those instead of the mirror, they're harder to replace and there's less risk of hurting yourself. Once you break up one tile, you can use the pieces to break the rest.

Thanks for the prank tip brother. I was limiting myself to just the classic Upper Decker ruse.

...

No problem, another one I just remembered which is a lot of work but super fun for the long con is to take some caulk with you and drill at an angle into the pipe at the back of the toilet. The aim is to drill straight through to the other side (so you need a long bit), emerging below the floor. You then plug the top hole with the caulk and leave it. Shit seeps into the floor and eventually breaks through. Bonus points if they're on the second floor.

>trashed a guy's bathroom
>at his own party
>over beer pong

ITS JUST A PRANK BRUH

D E V I L I S H
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Post tricks for shit gains

>Eat a lot of fibers

what made you into such a demon?

Haha that will show him

oh boi I'm laffin