How do I get rid of anxiety? I can't even go to the mall without sweating my ass off and shaking like a dog...

How do I get rid of anxiety? I can't even go to the mall without sweating my ass off and shaking like a dog. Even when I go out drinking I'm still super nervous and anxious, and its pretty noticeable

How do I stop this? Particularly on the physical level?

Not sure if this belongs here but I figure its health related

the same way you improve at anything else. practice.

stop looking for shortcuts.

>Not sure if this belongs here but I figure its health related

This is a fitness board.

But the problem is when I was younger I use to be a lot more social, but even then it would happen

But now I'm rusty and its worse than every

But I need help user ;-;

I need to slay a girl like this. Just for a night. Christ I'm getting married in a year to a 6/10 what do

You do that by going to /r9k/

It's a great board for self conscious betas that want to become alphas

Good luck newfriend :^)

Man who doesn't, even if its only once

Why are you marrying a girl you're not attracted too?

alright mate i am gonna write this out for you cus im standing in faceitqueue and its taking forever.

you just said you used to be social when you were young. this is the case for most people. mankind wouldn't have survived for all these years and we sure as fuck wouldn't conquer the earth if it weren't for our ability to cooperate with other people.

cooperation implies communication, and the ability to communicate is biologically a part of yourself. this is something you have to realize before you proceed.

once you have truly realized that you are a human being (hence being able to communicate with other people) we need to adress the fact that you used to be social when you were young, and that you stopped growing older.

as a kid you couldn't give two fucks about anyone because you are all busy growing up and exploring the world. the world is dazzling and awesome and you are too focused sucking up all the information and experiences it has to offer. you don't have time or energy to give a fuck about anyone.

once you grow older and grow into habits your mind starts "lacking". english aint my native tongue so i dont really know the actual terms for this but basicly you get so used to the world around you, and your brain so un-stimulated, it starts to think, trapping you within yourself. this is what causes you to think you "are not social".

you need to do new things in order to dust off that child within you that loves exploring new shit. this is why people do yoga, cooking classes, gym, studying abroad, whatever.

go out, be social. i remember i would go out on the street and walk up to strangers and say pretty much the following:
"hi, this might seem weird, but i'm quite shy and i fucking hate it, so i figured i'd say hi to move out of my comfort zone"

people would respond positively to this. maybe they related to it. whatever. i've made an ass out of myself in my city, but im growing more confident each day.

any more questions?

not that user but similar situation, dating a girl with a 10/10 personality, 6/10 looks. I feel happy but sex is ehhh

/thread

OP, any other answer than "ok ill do that" would be excuses of a coward

JUST. DO IT.

Personality is perfect. Everything about her is perfect except her looks.

We're in the same boat. Some days I think I should move out and move on but I couldn't imagine hurting her she's everything to me

Well I could have been a little more clear, by younger I meant 18-20, I'm 24 now and I'm nowhere near as social

And to be frank I don't really want to talk to girls I don't find attractive. I don't see the point. Guys are hit and miss as far as interesting convos. But I feel like a douche when a girl clearly wants to talk to me and I don't want too. But I don't understand why I get nervous as shit around huge crowds or gorgoues women when it wasn't a big problem. At least not enough to stop me from taking actioin

Then why not find a girl with both?

Dated a 9/10 and she was thick as fuck. Dated 8/10 and the same thing. Either that or they are extremely social ie group outings every weekend and that's just not me

18-20 is basicly 5 years old in men-time. for a woman thats about 30-40 years old (mental maturity that is).

i got one great hot sexy and fresh out the grill-tip for you nigga:
BE HONEST.

if a girl comes up to you and she is gorgeous and starts talking to you and you don't know what to say, say what you are feeling. I.E

>hi, who are you?
>hi, im user
>cool im amanda
>amanda, can i be honest with you?
>sure
>you prob heard this your entire life, but you are gorgeous and you are so gorgeous that im becoming nervous. fuck i hate being shy.

there are variations to this of course but honesty is your only tool. if you wear your weaknesses as armor you are immortal.

even stunning women are people with insecurities (if you dont believe me, go hang around with beautiful people and you will notice this).

i usually do this and it can go two ways;
1. she will excuse herself because she wants a confident man (but this isnt very likely)
2. she will feel actually pretty (not like "hey gurl sick tits can i suck 'em?"), like a femme fatale, and will be interested in you. she now has to work for your attention, and be the one to seduce and invest in you. check mate.

the first scenario is not very likely because women are nice creatures and she will probably still talk to you cus u are not a threatening man that could rape her. if anything you made a female friend that you can learn from.

questions?

So basically you date two hot chicks and give up? Doesn't sound like you're winning my man

Confidence mother fucker. Start lifting and MMA

The Trump shirt makes it hot cause it tells me shes very impressionable and easily manipulated, which means I could have her eating out of my hands pretty easily

Brah I did that literally all the time. My opening was basically one of two things

>hi I'm user
>hi, I cake over because I think you're really beautiful/gorgues/attractive/any other variation

Of course I haven't approached ANY women in months. But my point is i just want this ridiculous feeling of anxiety to go away. Even when I can drag myself out of the house, its so intense I can barely walk without my whole body shaking and sweating. It was never this bad before.

That would be true if she were a Sanders or Clinton supporter, in fact then you'd be justified in labelling her a braindead retard, but for someone her age to be a Trump fan it shows she needs at least basic critical thinking skills

btw why are right wing girls so much hotter than feminists?

Mods please delete this /pol/ /r9k/ baby post

dont be nervous while going up to people and saying they are beautiful. thats creepy.

if they come up to you however, its okay to be nervous. approaching someone to flirt is a bold move, you have to be congruent (is that even the word? dunno) with your actions. if you are nervous, go up and say "hi, im nervous and working on moving out of my comfort zone. so i just talk to strangers i guess".

i already answered your problem with going out of the house. if youre nervous about leaving your home, you do it until you are not nervous anymore.

i'd suggest you record yourself talking about your insecurities and listen to yourself a week from now. this will probably enlighten you about just how pathetic you sound. this should be motivation enough since i assume you dont want to be a pathetic excuse for a man.

imagine being confident. going out in the world and taking what you believe is rightfully yours. may it be a woman, a job, an experience. wouldn't that be the sickest thing in the world?

everything worth having never comes easy.

i've been working day and night on my confidence for like 7 years.
i went from going to strangers saying "im moving out of my comfort zone" to actually getting laid, quite a lot, this summer.

sure the girls aren't the most beautiful ones. i have a looong way to go still. but i'm working on it. when i'm finished i'll probably fuck your wife if you don't get your shit togheter quick son.

How exactly have you been working on your confidence? I want to be confident with women mainly, but over around confidence would be pretty good too. Is there anything you do to calm yourself when you start feeling anxious?

And that's another thing, I don't want to settle. I want to fuck chicks that I find super attractive, otherwise I don't see the point. The sex isn't as great when you don't find the girl attractive, at least from my experience

Yo dude, do you live in md or Baltimore?

wow mate you want me to write down 7 years of experiences to give you a blueprint so you can go out and do whatever i did in order to fulfill myself?

this makes me think you don't value yourself very highly. cus if you did you would realize you are the result of like 6 billion years of evolution and probably not like me at all in the slightest way.

" I want to be confident with women mainly, "
mate this statement is so backwards i dont even know where to start.

women are people, okay? i have no idea why men would think otherwise. you cant be confident with women and insecure with men or vice versa. if youre socially confident it includes both genders. treating women like some alien is so probably why you are failing.

" I want to fuck chicks that I find super attractive, "
everybody wants this. me included. there is no shortcut or blueprint that you can find to have some technique to fuck EVERY attractive girl out there. like i said, you are the result of billions of years of evolution and experiences and what not. SO ARE THEY. every girl is different. sure, there are fundamental things we find biologically attractive and there are socially constructed things that makes you attractive, but they are worthless in the end.

i have gone and asked like 50 different GORGEOUS women what a guy like me could do to make them interesting. everyone replied "be yourself".

its a very complex statement that holds a lot of complicated sub-meaning.

i believe the following, and im not saying its facts, but from my experience it seems to be somewhat plausible.

i see attraction as an ever present force, combining everything in the universe. your senses are limited so you are not able to see (or feel or whatever) everything that there is to see (or feel...).

in a world built on complex system where logic dominates i can understand that flirting and attraction seems hard to understand because i've experienced that flirting is a huge paradox. cont.

attraction is something you lose yourself in. you get lost, and you just roll with it. go with the flow. this is why honesty is such a sought after virtue, because we are told we are not good enough every day. this is why a lot of people seem "fake".

i can't explain how you flirt or how you seduce because that would defeat it's very core. if you do something or act in a way thats not rooted within you, you will seem fake and hence unattractive or creepy or malicious.

most importantly you will seem insecure. because someone who is confident wouldnt lie, wouldnt play games, wouldnt do anything that isnt natural to them.

this is the meaning behind the phrase "be yourself" i believe.

so nobody on this planet can teach you how to be attractive or how to be confident, because you are the only one on this planet that knows exactly who you are.

figure out who you are and what you TRULY want, not what TV told you to want, but what you TRULY desire.

this is called passion. and passion is extremely sexy. i think it was yves saint laurent who said "the sexiest a woman can carry is passion" or something of the like. the same applies to men.

nobody can do this for you.

you have one life (as far as we know), one shot. you are running out of time as we speak.

when you make it, become confident and slaying pussy (or doing whatever you want), you will regret not starting sooner. you just have to get started. I've failed a thousand times, if not more. i fail everytime i go out and try. but mate haven't i became better. i couldnt even imagine myself being this good at it when i was a teenager.

and when i go to bed i regret every wasted second that i didnt spend doing exactly what i wanted. knowing that i wasted my fucking life, the greatest gift on earth, doing nothing. feeling sorry for myself.

>says he goes to bars to drink
>can't go to a fucking shopping mall without vapor-locking
You're full of shit, fuck the fuck off shitposter.

and lastly, to clarify what i mean by attraction being a huge paradox:

nothing in flirting actually makes sense.

a man beats his wife, and she stays.
a woman feels secure with a criminal.
a man feels calm with a bi-polar girl.

a man says something demeaning to a girl and suddenly she is interested.

a woman tells a man to fuck off and he only wants to pursue her even more.

a rich girl fucks a poor guy etc.

we have no control over this. accept it. attraction is so hard to understand, impossible maybe.

just go in, be honest, be yourself, but not only that, be the BEST VERSION OF YOURSELF.

i honestly don't think i can help you anymore. i dont want to give you any advice because that is toxic and will only harm you.

find out who you are, and work on who you are. if you truly desire to fuck women (because you enjoy and love women, not because you need validation that you are attractive) then go out and practice doing that. if you want validation, you are doing it wrong.

Get it?

Now go out, clock is ticking. You could be dead tomorrow.

Stay home and be a shut-in, we don't need people like you wandering around out in public anyway, ruining everything for everyone else.

>
>if you truly desire to fuck women (because you enjoy and love women, not because you need validation that you are attractive) then go out and practice doing that. if you want validation, you are doing it wrong.
Not him, but thanks brah. This really changes the way I look at it.

ahhh those pale white legs my lust is out of control save me

I wanna suck on her toes

>tfw you realize your social anxiety actually served a purpose because without it you're a complete sperglord

it makes sense and I'd never seen it that way until I really started thinking about myself lately. The reason I have social anxiety is because I probably have high functioning autism and learned to "act" normal due to being vilified for just "being myself" through childhood and teenage years. Which made me constantly have to keep up an act of being normal just like everyone else which eventually takes a terrible emotional toll.