On a visit to German Emperor Wilhelm II, his second cousin once removed, in 1909...

Are you implying that the same thing doesn't happen in democracies?

Democracy is even more petty since people need to shit fling and suck as much dick as they can for a measly few years in office.

>''Some autist monarch slaps a guy on the ass''
>'' THIS IS WHY MONARCHY IS BAD HUR DURR STOP SLAPPING PEOPLE ON THE ASS!!1''

>''Some autist monarch slaps a guy on the ass''
>King of a country
>Some guy
>>'' THIS IS WHY MONARCHY IS BAD HUR DURR STOP SLAPPING PEOPLE ON THE ASS!!1''
>Reading comprehension

>/r9k/-greentext becomes Emperor of Germany

>ywn slap some hot austrian boy's royal ass in its prime

Right now, US allies are distancing themselves from the US because of the retarded shit trump is saying you dumbfuck

How could one man be so based?

>gets literally butthurt over a joke and ruins a million dollar contract over it

what a fag

>tfw Belgium could be twice as big if it had sided with Germany
Jesus Christ, what a nightmare.
Thank God Leopold was an unpious cuckold, beholden to "ministers" and "deputies."

WILLY WAGGLERS ARISE!! *willy waggler rally call*!!!!!!!!!!!!!! for too long gsg has gone without a single waggle!!yes me mates it is seemest gsg has forgot how to WAGGLE their WILLIES!!!!!!!!!aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE MUST OCCUPY GSG WITH OUR SILLIEWILLIES AND TEACH THEM THE MAJESTIC ART OF THE WAGGLE ONCEDMORE!!!! are you ready boys? us wagglers have a proud history...we waggled for charles..we waggled for thatcher.....ahhh..the willy waggling haze of '87...ohh yes me mates...we waggled all the way from bristol to hai noi...me, old billy steve, me old mates gordon billy nicky and charlie..some guy named ian the clam...WE WAGGLED RECORD SPEED!!!!!!!!aaaaaaaaaAAAaaAAANOT MY WIILLYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

BOYS!!! PREPARE FOR THE WAGGLIEST DAY OF YOUR LIVETIMES!!!

PREPARE YOUR WILLIES...
READY..
AIM...

WAAAAGLLEEE!!!!AaaaaaaaaaaAAaAANOOT MY WILLY SOMUCHWILLYPLEASURE;;))) i SIMPYL CANNNOT RELIIEEFFAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!1MYYYY WILLYHURTSSOMUCHYES ME MATES NNYAUAUUUGHHaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!


WILLLY

CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!............aaaaaaahhhhhh....i cum on your face....relief ;)

No he's not
He was an idiot

It's literally Willy's fault though, you don't fucking humiliate Emperors whose favors you need. Bitch felt the consequences of his actions

>2017
>Doesn't smoke cigarettes

Are you bullied, mentally handicapped or both?

>b-but it kills you

And? Was life a contest about who lives the longest?

>it's addicting!!!

It's not, as long as you're not under-aged and you can smoke in moderation

>it's....IT'S EXPENSIVE!!!

Who forces you to buy a pack every day, fucking peat-gavel

ah yes

This is why it needs to be in the OP. R&lex in tears.

What the fuck did you just say about my glorious preußischen Armee you little shit? I'll have you know Preußen was the top military power in all of Europe and it has been involved in numerous great European wars, and they have over 300 confirmed victories. They are trained Napoleonic warfare and they have the top commanders in the entire European continent. You are nothing to them but just another Frenchman. They will annex the fuck out of you with precision the likes of wich has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying shit to Preußens over the internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak, I am contacting my international network of diplomats acorss the HRE and your entire Dynasty is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic thing you call your independance. You're fucking dead kid. They can be anywhere, anytime and They can defeat you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with a single division. Not only are they extensively trained in Clausewitz's teachings, but They have access to the entire arsenal of the Königlich Preußische Armee, and They will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable army off the face of the continent, you little Slav. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.

To be fair Austria is not a real nation. It's just a regional identity that Hapsburg use to destabilize Germany. You speak very similar language, worship the same God and have a shit ton of shared history. What's the difference between a Austrian and a German anyway? You are both descendants of the HRE. Austrians simply moved sown south and Germans stayed in the the same place for centuries. I think it's time for this whole independent Austria nonsense to stop. Join the rest of your Germanic brethren in one glorious state already. Independence doesn't suit you that well. You went from having a booming heavy industry and being one of the top European exporters of incest, genocide and losing at war to a complete shit hole.

I really really like this pasta

i didn't say shit but thanks for posting that

in fact I made that pasta, couldn't believe it when i saw it get added to the waggle pastebin... ah yes what a great day, feels like it was yesteday... i was waggling me willy with my good friend cobrah, when sum nerd over on /gee ess gee/ started shitting on preuBiums, so of course i knew what had to be done. i immediately ceased waggling, and i channeled the power of my willy... ah yes... i grabbed it and then i pointed it at the screen... then ah yes... it was amazing.... "AAAAAHHH MY WILLY" i said, then that post right there, the post you just made, had magically appeared on my screen. must have been the work of wilhelm himself, really sad to see the poor lad gone, he was such a great waggler probably the best one i've seen....

but that's enough of my boring old man stories me matey, you can go back to waggling yer willy now ;)

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand bronies crusaders being in the OP The humor is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of self referencial humor most of the joke will go over a typical users head. There's also grandi's hatred of it, which is deftly woven into his characterisation - his control freak personality draws heavily from his R&I persona, for instance. The old guard understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of this joke, to realize that they're not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike bronies crusaders being in the OP truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in adding a mod that would typically be viewed as off topic which itself is a cryptic reference to self-deprecating humor. I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those grandi fuckbois scratching their heads in confusion as epic memes like this unfolds themself on their monitors. What fools... how I pity them. And yes by the way, I DO have a t. /gsg/ tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the germania pros' eyes only- And even they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand.

That's just a day in the life of the Chad Kaiser.

>tfw removed brony crusaders because of that one unironic brony who started posting
heh nuthin personnel horsefucker

WILHELM, this is your grandmother; the motherfucking Queen of England. Now listen to me you little cunt, wot wot wots all this eh about you walking up and down these fine folk with your cock out? What did the good doctor say boy about the devils handshake by jove, first you go blind, then your unmentionables go black, ejaculate pure lice and plague, then the whole sordid mess drops right off. Luckily my dear prince Albert though afflicted with this vile and unsumptious condition cannot affect thy queen for my vagina is huge and royal good heavens.

But listen to me you little shit if ((((((Benjamin Disraeli)))))) mentions once more of your frequent aquaintance with Rosy Palms and her five sisters I, befitting this great nation of fish and chips will throw you in a Black Maria and send you to fucking Australia. Try waxing your moustache with an indigenous spear up your arse you lame-armed little cunt. Ooohhhh good heavens I have gone right red in the face I 'ave, so ashamed I am to have such dissapointement in me life :;( Oh well, off to tottenham courts for a day at the races and a pint of gin eh guv ;)

>implying I'm him

He was an autistic man child that by chance was born into the position of Europe's preeminent industrial, military and economic power.

>He was gifted, with a quick understanding, sometimes brilliant, with a taste for the modern,—technology, industry, science—but at the same time superficial, hasty, restless, unable to relax, without any deeper level of seriousness, without any desire for hard work or drive to see things through to the end, without any sense of sobriety, for balance and boundaries, or even for reality and real problems, uncontrollable and scarcely capable of learning from experience, desperate for applause and success,—as Bismarck said early on in his life, he wanted every day to be his birthday—romantic, sentimental and theatrical, unsure and arrogant, with an immeasurably exaggerated self-confidence and desire to show off, a juvenile cadet, who never took the tone of the officers' mess out of his voice, and brashly wanted to play the part of the supreme warlord, full of panicky fear of a monotonous life without any diversions, and yet aimless, pathological in his hatred against his English mother.

>He believed in force, and the 'survival of the fittest' in domestic as well as foreign politics... William was not lacking in intelligence, but he did lack stability, disguising his deep insecurities by swagger and tough talk. He frequently fell into depressions and hysterics... William's personal instability was reflected in vacillations of policy. His actions, at home as well as abroad, lacked guidance, and therefore often bewildered or infuriated public opinion. He was not so much concerned with gaining specific objectives, as had been the case with Bismarck, as with asserting his will. This trait in the ruler of the leading Continental power was one of the main causes of the uneasiness prevailing in Europe at the turn-of-the-century.

>He was an idiot
trips confirm /ourguy/

In short, he wasn't stupid, he wasn't sadistic, and he honestly wasn't that bad of a guy. He was just immature, impatient, and insecure. He desperately wanted everyone around him to accept and admire him, but his moody and erratic personality prevented him from doing so.

t. hitler

>The virgin King

>The Chadser

what did he mean by this?

...

He was an autistic manlet with a gimp arm

In short, he wasn't stupid, he wasn't sadistic, and he honestly wasn't that bad of a guy. He was just immature, impatient, and insecure. He desperately wanted everyone around him to accept and admire him, but his moody and erratic personality prevented him from doing so.

HOly fuck was willy a chad afterall?

Best argument against monarchy. This German monarch slaps a guy on the ass that's why monarchy is bad

hi every1 im new!!!!!!! holds up ship my name is wilhelm but u can call me t3h Ka1s3R oF pRU5514!!!!!!!! lol…as u can see im very maritime!!!! thats why i came here, 2 meet maritime ppl like me _… im 55 years old (im mature 4 my age tho!!) i like 2 read The Influence of Sea Power upon History w/ my generals (im implementing personal rule if u dont like it deal w/it) its my favorite book!!! bcuz its SOOOO maritime!!!! theyre maritime 2 of course but i want 2 meet more maritime ppl =) like they say the more the merrier!!!! lol…neways i hope 2 make alot of allys here so give me lots of recruits!!!! PRU5514!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sounds like me. (Even look a bit alike)

"German" is comprised of dozens of sub-ethnicites. Austrian being one of them.

You've just replied to a pasta
It was originally about Ukraine and Russia

To be fair Ukraine is not a real nation. It's just a regional identity that Jews use to destabilize Russia. You speak very similar language, worship the same God and have a shit ton of shared history. What's the difference between a Ukrainian and a Russian anyway? You are both descendants of the Kievan Rus. Russians simply moved up north and you stayed in the the same place for centuries. I think it's time for this whole independent Ukraine nonsense to stop. Join the rest of your Eastern Slavic brethren in one glorious state already. Independence doesn't suit you that well. You went from having a booming heavy industry and being one of the top European exporters of pig iron, coal and steel to a complete shit hole.

CHAD WILHELM!

Why is Monarchs are always so much more human than the shady, shifty, secretive politicians of liberal democracies?

Nice job embarrassing yourself.

>Meanwhile, in democracy
>Calls for the duly elected president of the united States to resign because some washed up lesbian accuses him of hitting on her thirty years ago

>Calls for

It's literally nothing

And if enough house seats flip they'll try to impeach him behind that garbage

I bet you five bucks they won't.

Underrated

*waggles*

>promise the crown of old burgundy
>which was in the south
At least get your history right Wilhelm

Lad, I...

Maybe he wasn't trying to humiliate him but tried to be friendly. He was family after all.

Krupp made the best artillery of the time and he missed out on that because of literal butthurt.

He was a fucking autist: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daily_Telegraph_Affair
>Wilhelm had seen the interview as an opportunity to promote his views and ideas on Anglo-German friendship, but due to his emotional outbursts during the course of the interview, he ended up further alienating not only the British, but also the French, Russians, and Japanese. He implied, among other things, that the Germans cared nothing for the British; that the French and Russians had attempted to incite Germany to intervene in the Second Boer War; and that the German naval buildup was targeted against the Japanese, not Britain.

>What the fuck was his problem?
Wasn't it obvious?

stop bullying willy, he tried his best

And he got so far, but in the end it didn't even matter.

Willy was always a Chad.

>you walk into a palace and this guy slaps your second cousin removed ass. What do you do?

There you go, fixed

Chad Emperor vs Virgin King

STOP MAKING FUN OF WILLY HE DOESN'T DESERVE IT

>Ferdinand however exacted his revenge by awarding a valuable arms contract he had intended to give to the Krupp's factory in Essen to French arms manufacturer Schneider-Creusot

That's a bit cruel, arms were a sore point for Willy.

That's far creepier than it has any right to be.

They aren't accountable to anyone but themselves