User! I think someone is in the house! You go to the gym and stuff, can you go out and check?

>user! I think someone is in the house! You go to the gym and stuff, can you go out and check?

Oh, you think I lift for functional strength? You really should have brought that up earlier.

We can try to push him or something

Fortunately I train in a martial art and don't just lift for looks.

On it.

>getting Veeky Forums
>not functional
>not slapping a pl8 on both his arms and legs then squatting him until he dies

never gonna make it

Sorry, I can't do anything. Self defense is illegal.

t. Australian

Hope you get to shoot some niggers senpai.

>Oh it was nothing? Cool, I think you should go back home, I have a headache. I'll talk to you later

>those Murican Aviators

Do they have those in Union Jack for my English woman? She needs to learn some nationalism.

>the one nigger in town
Odds are it'll be injuns on meth.

Looks like it.

You can at least lube up so your assailant can at least enjoy the rape.

Have some consideration for others please.

He might not even murder you if you do your power bottom routine with perfect form.

I'm trying to picture the actual mechanics of this and it's hilarious

>tfw vicfag
>tfw literally anything that could save me is illegal
>tfw every martial art around is overpriced daycare
>tfw I live on a shitty train line and commute daily

Eventually I'm gonna kick the shit out of some asshole with a shank, and probably get a harsher charge. Feels bad man.

>Did you know?
Firearms have existed in ancient China, and have been used in Europe since the 1400s?

post postcode bro i know a deadset legit martial arts place goshin ryu ju jitsu, you will murder motherfuckers with it

Okay honey. :) I'm going to clean and jerk that motherfucker, slam him on the floor so hard that he wishes he would have taken those 4 scoops. :)

thats just ripptoe installing new milk honey

"Excuse me I have a workout to continue"

>Alpha as fuck

"Don't worry babe that's just the bull you requested. Please excuse me while I go prep him for you."

I live near Mentone, but I my dad is a karate instructor (a legit style, but one that got polluted by morons) and recently some head dude from our headquarters in Japan came and basically told all the instructors to get their shit together and actually teach fighting, and not the retarded basics and glorified dance routines they'd been feeding anybody below black belt (my rank). I'm just pissed it took this long for them to start teaching stuff. I've been doing karate for 10 years, and it just feels like the first 9 and a half of them were wasted. Sorry for the rant user, but the good news is I can hit a heavy bag stupidly fucking fast, and leave a good sized dent in it without hurting my hands.


Whats the name of this place, though, user? I might scope it out if uni lets up.

What the fuck do you have a random banana magazine for

i think it's those shoes i ordered for you and the flowers go get them.

I got gym in the morning

MATCHLOCK ASHIGARU!

Karate is retarded compared to any other martial art except capoeira.
I did Karate myself.
Please switch to kickboxing/jiu jitsu/BJJ/MMA now, and I mean fucking NOW
webm related

Not him but I plan on taking Muay thai. I've heard almost nothing but good stuff about it. What are your thoughts?

Muay thai is hardcore but most of all it's effective and practical, good choice

Silat is better.
Go Boxing if you want to punch harder.
Taekwondo has the best kicks.
Judo for Grappling
BJJ for ground game
Mix it up for the best results.

Why not English flag

Literally just reach down pick up some snakes and spiders off the floor and throw them at the guy

It's really not though. Shotokan/tkd teach you some complex footwork thats necessary to excel at fighting in higher tiers and great reaction timing and distancing. Kyokushin teachs you to man the fuck up and absorb hits like a tank while dishing out serious punishment. Styles like Goju ryu will teach you basic throws/submissions while also teaching strikes. Japanese Karate is some of the most complete styles, depending what you look for

Sure thing, sis.

You can throw it to distract enemies with sound like in Metal Gear Solid.

audibly keked

v nice

Thats not a banana mag you fuck. Its a regular 30 round magazine probably for 5.56

Well yeah, Any guy that would actually send their girl to go investigate a possible break-in deserves whatever happens. That's just one of those "gender role" things that will never change no matter how much the libbies push for "equality".

I give you my kek's sir.

>Remember I live alone
>Realive the intruder is asking me this
>Beat the shit out of some lady in my house while making sure I do some bw squats to train evenly.

Close one.

Is it just me or do you find it disturbing that dreamtime has so many of these stock images for pretty much everything?

> you hide in the bathroom, babe, and I'll secure the perimeters.