How do i become a real life batman, keeping in mind that i have a pretty good strength and endurance...

How do i become a real life batman, keeping in mind that i have a pretty good strength and endurance. Also dubs choose what my general theme is and trips decides what my costume will be. I'll try to deliver in the far future and post regular updates about the training.

Your theme will be faint by linkin park.

Friendly script writers

Have your friends haze you by feeding you datura poison and waterboard you.

It won't kill you so you'll get stronger really fast.

Enjoy fighting crime x 1
Dead parent x 2
Develop unhealthy relationships with various criminals x F
Become addicted to fighting crime and try and use a no kill rule as justification for your addiction x F
Plot armor x 1

>Implying Batman isn't as crazy as everyone he fights

>How do i become a real life batman
u dont
>keeping in mind that i have a pretty good strength and endurance.
u dont
>dubs choose what my general theme is and trips decides what my costume will be
since u dont these will not be necessary

like you said man - you have pretty good strength and endurance. just grab a pair of dark PJs and go get em criminals. what do you have to lose? you're ready user just go for it.

>Bodybuilder vigilante killed in gang shootout

>Four men are dead and several seriously wounded after a masked bodybuilder attacked a gang hideout in Detroit today
>Witnesses say the vigilante was dressed in a pair of pyjamas and a plastic Batman mask
>Unconfirmed reports indicate the vigilante yelled "LIGHT WEIGHT, BABY" while throwing gang members around

Sounds fun

if dubs you will be Scatman and you will finish every sentence with bee-bop-boo-bae-bee-baa

...

You're going to have to hire some guys to kill your parents. It's the only way.

Forget about the physical training for a second. What about the mental training you'll need to take on big targets like the mob? Jeez brotha, being a vigilante is not just about muscle.

if you're not rich you can't be batman sry

if you're rich, give me some money

will do. autistic retards are fucking scary

audible kek

Take tren, buy some armor, beat the shit out of plebs til the cops find and beat you.

Go train across the world for 20 years.

Let us know when you're done so we can give you step two

go fuck yourself

5 years on a hellish island... Wait no

>"u" stupid nigger

Batman was a Detective. What you need is some stealth gear from /k/ and a qt 3.14 weaboo gf from /g/, preferably with connections in the NSA, or local CERT.

you can't

a real life batman would never ever even think about the possibility of browsing Veeky Forums

rolling for trips -this is your new costume
naked besides this

rerolling

re-rolling

kek so close, fuck it do it

wew

agsdf

rerolling

rerolling for this

re-re-re-re-re-rolling

Inb4 swolemole

the cap looks nice, but going naked isn't exactly practical. think about another look

CMON ONE DAY YOU MAY (be rescued by captain dickhead)

If this is OP: Fuck off, you set the rules now if we roll trips you have to buy the damn hat and post pics

If not: Pick whatever complimentary outfit you'd like and Ill roll for both

RRRRRRRRRRRAWLING

it is. idk man, as i said the cap looks nice and i'll buy it, you won't see me make the news in the near future i'm afraid. as for the outfit

OP how tall are you and what do you weigh?

I think I have the perfect outfit!!!

>tfw know a jewish guy who is built just like batman
>tfw he's smart as fuck too

You will a robin instead of a batman and your theme will be retro.

YOU ARE GOING NAKED CUNT YOU DONT MAKE RULES THEN BACK OUT REROLLLLLLLING NOW

Inherit billions of dollars after your parents are killed in an alley by a random mugger.

Im 5'6 and 250lbs why? whats the outfit?

no cape

>5'6
>250lbs
>wants to be a superhero

Just be an hero OP

>250lbs
>5'5

STAHP

Wear Hawaiian shirt and cargo shorts

WHAT THE HELL DO I DO ?

ROLLING FOR CAPTAIN DICKHEAD ON A MANLET FATTY CMON

OP here, fuck that guy. I'm 6'1 and about 180 pounds. why are trying to meme this glorious thread you fat fuck

>5'6
ROLLING FOR SWOLE MOLE

REROLL

post pics OP if you look Veeky Forums enough i have an awesome outfit for a superhero

>inb4 no pics posted because OP is fatty

god dammit i'm not a fat manlet

this or swolemole

lets go

i'm not a fatty but i'm pretty dyel. i suppose i'll follow this guy's advice and get swole.

>fat manlet detected

This said EVERY sentence, so every time you think, talk or post here you must end it like this, if not you are never going to make it and you will know it deep inside.
Rolling, to be kind I will give you the option to keep clothes but only of the color of the dick, you can change colors.

RRRRRROOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLING

rerolling

rerolling

RRRERROLLLLLLIIIINGGGG

refuckingrolling for penis man

REROLLALLOOOLLAAAAA

rerrollll

You'll dress as Nappa and like it you faggot.

You must dress as a different minimum wage job each time you strike

reroll

Your theme will be tard rage guttural yelling (think DNYGUUURHHHN) buy only when right behind your victim. Otherwise you will be completely silent. You will dress as the fusion of Chris Chan and Jason Genova. You will be named Clown Baby.

This is the best idea ever

>"help! He stole my purse!"

Do not fear ma'am, for I, garbage man have come to the RESQUE!