I'd punch it in the face. Birds have light skeletons so they can fly so it wouldn't take much effort to do major damage

Flying type>fighting type

Psychic type > your favorite type

>punching a qt birb
why tho

almost bit

>tfw no falconer wife and loyal birdbro

I'm giving you a free (you) because I want more (OP)s in my thread

Bird bones actually aren't light, or fragile. These things were dinosaurs once, and technically still are. They will cut you to shreds then double team your gf while you hide behind the kitchen counter like that kid from Jurassic park.

Now, where can I go to release my genetic material into this girl?

Serious question, would you rather the girl or the bird? The bird comes pre-trained.

Pro tip: you're a faggot if you don't pick the bird.

...

>i bet u kiss girls u faget

lol I bet you do, it's okay to admit it

I'll take the option that doesn't give me salmonella.

you only get salmonella from salmon retard

Technically you only get salmonella from micro-organisms is raw food, like raw salmon.

Clearly the bird comes with the girl and vice versa.

That is a sexy bird though. Also the eagle or whatever is pretty cool.

Haha, tits are a kind of bird.

>If I was flying at me in a straight line and I hit it with a right cross, the forward momentum of the bird against the impact of my right cross would probably make me punch through it

Not quite true, user. Their beaks are fkn hard, and it'll rip right through a person. Also they'd easily be able to change position so they come claws first; that'd shred you too.

Birds are "brittle"; if they hit you in a way they want, you're basically fucked. A bird that size can cause wounds that will cause you to die later if you don't die outright.

On the same note, if you hit a bird while it's resting and you're amped up for a fight, you could probably cause at least damage that would permanently disfigure it. But theyre biologically designed to avoid situations like that because nature. Humans aren't designed for that sort of shit either, though. We just happen to be better at it.

Tl;dr:
Don't fight birds m8. If you need to kill one for whatever reason, either shoot it, or hire a hunter or some shit. Humans work in teams for a reason.

Why you'd want to kill such a cool fucking bird is beyond me, though.

too fuckin bad imma go fight me some birds

What do you think pic related could do to that thing?

Heh heh...
You made a funny joke... Not. Did you honestly think you could make a remark like that and not be picked up on it? The objectification of women is not some laughing matter....
I put my life on the line every day I post on here... guarding Veeky Forums against the evils of misogyny, using nothing but my razor sharp katana-like wits and my Australian broadband connection.
Nice try... Kid.

I want a threesome with the bird and the chick.

Pretty simply, you've got half the equation, that that bird could kill me, but I'd say the average fit-ish man could kill the bird as well.

Could I kill it without being maimed? Probably not, unless she's 4'2 that's a massive fuck off bird, and it will straight take body parts off, but, man when cornered is no pushover either.

You aussies and leafs have really redefined shitposting, you should be proud, yall are a national treasure (almost not sarcasm)

Fell for it.

Rip user. Magpies alone are fucking terrifying when 3 or 4 of them are defending a nest. A hawk or eagle will fuck you up man.

Yeah, a man could probably kill a bird, but why would you? Humans are best when they're in groups, and using tools. If I was asked to kill a bunch of birds, I'd contact my local hunting club and ask if they wanna clear out a bird infestation for me, and offer to supply lunch or whatever. Or get some of my country friends to go crazy with their rifles.

The important question here is: who wins in a three-way cage match between a man, a fat ass eagle, and 50 silverback gorillas? Keep in mind that one of the gorillas is Brock Lesnar.

Maples haven't got anything on our shitposting

what if the eagle wasn't flying
what if it walked up to you and kicked you with its leg
mt, taek > boxing

not to mention it could take you down on the ground easily then boxing loses again

>you're a faggot if you don't pick the bird
Well memed good sir

The girl can't dive on my enemies at a hundred kilometres per hour and isn't a majestic lord of the sky.

if it was attacking you it would just shred your fist with its claws retard, it's not gonna dive at you head first