I-I'm going to go see my first hooker next week. I'm confused /int/...

What do you mean by clean my dick off? I'll be wearing a condom and stuff so my dick won't get wet.

Ok

Me too lad. Looking at them I realised Some are pretty cute.

Do you have a pick of the girl ur about to fuck?

*pic

She covered half her face but she seems pretty cute. Korean.
>INB4 YELLOW FEVER BETA HAHA
No. Im not even that attracted to Asian girls. just found her lips and half her cute nose irresistible. And she has great tits.

Post the pic!

What if the anxiety hits and I lose my boner and a hundred bucks of good money?

>Covered half her face

Warning signs

Don't judge me too harshly

There were more better pics but I accidentally closed the page.

>there are people on Veeky Forums who struggle with hooking up despite not being completly DYEL like I am

working girls never show their whole face

Interesting. Looks a little high-test the way she's covering her stomach like that.

meh, I find cheaper ones on craiglist for as low as $60 a night.

Then you lose $100. Didnt you say it was nothing?

You have like 50min to get hard.

that's nottrue, go to your local backpages and see how many random whores post their face and their #

women in 2016 have no shame

It's 30 min user.

Even it it was 50 min i don't get what i do in the remainder of that time.

Should I be honest and tell her I'm a virg?

Don't see a hooker you fucking sperg

It's not that hard to find a girl to bang. Just practice and fuck a real girl.

>t. Chad
I'm ugly as fuck and have no social skills. I need this.

Here's another pic:

YOU pay for NASTY sideways pussy while CHAD practices and eats out your sister for FREE

S Y D N E Y

Y

D

N

E

Y

Proper etiquette is to look at her in her eyes and kiss left cheek, right cheek and then lips.

>some points of constructive criticism on where they can improve?
Nigga wtf?

Don't do this shit. I know it's a joke, but OP is a virgin. OP, never touch a skank with any part of your body that isn't wrapped in latex.

Not really. You can kiss someone. Just not any semen.

You know about herpes, right?

Yes but that's easily noticeable. You have to be retarded to kiss someone with herpes.

Double down on some Cialis. After you bust your first nut rip off that rubber and make her suck you hard. Then work over her asshole.

Bitch better work for that money.

18% of people who carry HSV1 are asymptomatic and can spread it 10% of the time.

I'm worried now...

Just don't kiss her, you retard. Wrap your dick up, and don't let her touch you unless you're wearing protection. Transmission rates of pretty much anything are pretty low for males as long as you're not getting boned up the ass, and even lower if you wear a rubber.

You're in Veeky Forums.

Veeky Forums is basically /b/ 2.0 nowadays

So are you functionally retarded? It's not that hard to smash-ass bro. Literally watch like a few good pornogs and just replicate what you saw.

Watch the real stuff tho.

Go on tinder youll find a fat single mom. My profile is literally selfies i would say i have alright facial features but you can tell ive got some chub. Bio is literally i like lifting i like making music i like my job i like school. If you can stomach a 6/10 or less its like shooting fish in a barrel

>Implying fat single moms want to deal with another child

Listen to me, and i speak from experience:

It most likely aint her in those pics. Shes most likely way older and less good looking. Asian women do this all the time because no one calls them on it or even notices. Keep a pic on you and compare. If it ain't her, get the fuck out of there. You'll have better luck with any other race but Asian.

Kek op is gonna have to man the harpoons and venture into no mans land, the desperate of the desperate. 300 pounder minimum she will learn him good

youtu.be/VMnjF1O4eH0

>catch your breath
>make unconfortable chitchat for a min or 2
>tell her to suck your dick
>go for a second round