Ok, so seeing as calories in/calories out has been scientifically proven to not work...

>Laws of thermodynamics only apply to closed systems and the body is not a perfect calorie processing machine.

So im absorbing fat from the thin air, its definitely not all the cake ive been eating few thats a load of my mind.

Me and my friend took a big tittied girls viriginity.
We DP'd Eiffel towerd and ran a train on her the entire night.
When one of us weren't fucking her we were smoking weed.
Bro took to much ganja and passed out and I made babygirl ride my dick while I smoked a joint.
She told me she loved my giant dick before falling asleep.
I was close to nutting so I pumped her till I did. She came in her sleep.

Was the greatest birthday ever.

1000 calories of pure artificial sweetner is no different from 1000 calories of protein from an animal source!
Holy shit thank you!
You're a genius!

Gee I sure can't wait for you to link that scientific study.

Yeah so you may add well eat both since according to you calorie intake has no effect whatsoever on weight.

A scientific study that states that a calorie is not a calorie?

Nigga i ate nothing but crisps and pot noodles for 2 weeks at a caloric deficit and i lost a stone

Sounds like you need to tea-tox

Cool blogpost.
Stop replying to me man. You obviously are trying to mock something you don't even understand, stop trying.

You didn't eat pure sugar like I said though did you?

You see, up to a point a calorie is a calorie, but when it comes to body composition and health and weight loss a calorie is not a calorie.

Continuing to pretend that that is the case is retarded and why you will gain all of that weight back.

At least post a link from a shitty source next time

I'm 28, girlfriend is 29. Both no children, both good looking people. Chart is dumb.

tfw i never gained any of that weight back, and im the healthiest ive ever been

You need to go back to tumblr

Uh huh...

its tru daug im 5.11" 165lb the heaviest ive ever been is around 200lb thats when i put myself on a caloric deficit and i lost it all no matter what i ate.

the one true secret to weight loss is STOP EATING FOR ONE FUCKING SECOND FAT ASS

Off topic but what's the difference between having balanced meals (50, 30, 20) throughout the day vs just having 50, 30, 20 from all your foods consumed in a day?

Yeah sure

>people with decades of studies and research, olympians, elite athletes, top level coaches (layne norton, lyle mcdonald, dave palumbo, chris aceto, jerry brainum, etc)

"things like insulin sensitivity, baseline metabolism, nutrition partitioning, efficiency of digestion, testosterone levels, allergies, metabolic adaptation, thermic effect on food makes a person's TDEE and diet choices very different from others, the body is not a closed system".

>25% BF pajeets from 4 chan who have never accomplished anything and never will, and never will be aesthetic or strong

"MUH THERMODYNANAMICS, CALORIE IN CALORIE OUT, IIFYM PERMABULK, MUH POPTARTS IS JUST AS GOOD AS CHICKEN BREAST AND LENTILS"

Bro you lost weight out of spite. That's the best way to lose weight. That way it stays off

Keto works really well, you'll feel like shit for awhile as your body adjusts to the lack of cheap energy but you'll flatten out in a few weeks time, then you can do keto+HIIT and you'll be losing weight pretty fast

And yet once you find your current TDEE you are able to manipulate your lean/Flabby mass at will .

>mfw 26
>mfw I haven't impreg anyone yet
>mfw it has been 4 years since I dated anyone
>mfw it has been 14 years since I fugged

Should take the single forever route and channel it to something else like Tesla and Jesus did?

>le too intellectual to lift
>le too stupid to understand why people outside of the western world can die of hunger, the whole animal kingdom basically operates on it as well. The laws of reality do so too...

Op should be banned, also reported.

Lmao thermodynamics applies to all systems fucking retard, open, closed, isolated, etc

If you were anything like Tesla or Jesus I'd have heard about you by now

You still have to count calories with keto, stupid. Good luck with that lifestyle choice by the way. Fucking moron.

Not really.
Most people struggle to eat a surplus if they're only eating fats and proteins.

You realize some organs only function with carbohydrates, right?

Yeah, you're stupid.

Yeah, fat people are fate because hey have trouble eating a surplus. Especially when eating delicious bacon and steak. . Fucking idiot.

Great argument.

I suppose all those keto users who lost a load of weight on keto without counting calories were just lying and secretly logged everything right?

Image is sort of accurate
1) Step dad is not a fucking option
2) Ugly girls are not the only options, but hot grills that are still not married are fucking crazy bitches or have a lot of issues in their life that are too stressful for them to be actually worth the effort
3) Single forever is not necesarily true, you can date younger grills but you'll have to actually manage with their bullshit

>what are ketone bodies
>what is gluconeogenesis

Eat less you fat fuck.
Move more you fat fuck.

Wow, you can't read.
Fat people are fat because they eat a shitload yes, but in 99% of cases it involves a LOT of carbs.
Eating a surplus with ONLY fats and proteins is much harder than doing it with carbs in the mix.

>Overeating is hard

>reading is hard.

Alright, I'll bite.
Yes, there are many different factors affecting metabolism. That does mean that no two people will be expending the exact same calories on a given physical activity (though it will usually be close), and no two people will absorb the exact same amount of calories from a given food (though it will usually be quite similar).
*However*, that only changes the amount of exercise you have to do per calorie, or the amount of food your body requires for normal functionality. That does NOT negate calories in / calories out.

If you absorb more from your food or have a "slower" metabolism, that just means you don't need as much food. If your hormones are out of whack, worst case you will have to have more self discipline and ignore more cravings.
If you are not willing to cut down on calories, you may need to do more physical activity than someone else.

But nobody - NOBODY - works off more calories than they consume, and still puts on fat. And nobody - NOBODY - eats an appropriate amount for their body, mainly whole natural foods, gets intense exercise every day, and ends up a hamplanet. Your needs may vary somewhat due to minor biological differences, but you don't have physics differences - we all run on the same basic rules.

8/8 if troll - made me reply.
1/8 if stupid.

>I'm hard