Tell your annoying/funny moments dealing with unfit/fat coworkers
>work at hospital >new fat respiratory therapist is doing rounds >she's perhaps 5'6", roughly 350lbs (being generous), and wobbles like a penguin. Age is 28 but she looks 40 >there's an overhead page for a code 99 >I'm up on 3rd floor and start jogging briskly to the emergency dept >i enter the last hallway to the ED >see the therapist running at the best of her abilities >she falls down and grunts, moans and appears to begin to cry >I jump over her and continue to my destination >everyone else jumps over her too, we planned on her picking herself up and for her to intubate this patient >she never shows up, we are 2 minutes resuscitation >emergency MD thinking outloud, "where the fuck is RT" >she fell on the way >The doc just takes care of his job overseeing rhythms and barking orders for epi and vasopressin, mag sulf, etc etc while intubating >we stabilize the patient, and then we see an ER nurse admitting the respiratory therapist to one of the ED rooms >she ends up fracturing her femur from a fall at ground level
i don't dislike her as a person, but seeing obese people work jobs that require high mobility seems unsafe, like obese police officers
Sure, I'll give you some stories >Working at a supermarket >the only men there are me, 4~5 butchers and 4-5 cashiers, so there's around 40 women there >I was the only man that would eat at the dinning hall out of us all, so I'd have my meal with the women every day >Every day during the summers their daily conversation was how the doctors had put them on diet and they couldn't eat XYZ
Now this is where it gets funny >4'11 (150cm) store manager, 150 pounds (70kg) >kinda cute but annoying as fuck >always giving me shit for eating tuna or chicken and the whey shake instead of (((soft-drinks))) >ignore her >she starts crying to a coworker how she's on a diet now that doesn't allow her to eat anything >pulls out a massive tupperware with a massive piece of Salmon, 2 eggs, 2 broccoli and proceeds to drizzle the shit out of it with olive oil >So much olive oil that the fish could very well be evolving into breathing olive oil like that 2001 movie Evolution >I say "You understand that olive oil is super caloric and it will throw you off your caloric intake for the whole day, right?" >She says "No it's fine it's fine, Olive oil has healthy fats and omegas and my doctor said it's fine to have some" >I give her a lite explanation of how calories work, calories in-out, her issue with her height and shit, she just refuses every advice >finishes her meal >says how she's still hungry >goes to the store and buys an ice-cream >did this every day where it came to a point where she was gaining weight while eating "healthy" and the doctor told her to start skipping meals >starts taking diet pills and drinking detox shit just to maintain her weight
Dumb women, this is just one of them, truth is I had a lot more at work
Juan Cox
You made me cringe all over the keyboard
Nathaniel Harris
>coworker wants to lose weight >tell him to stop drinking soda, it is literal poison >next day >at lunch >go to the break room >he bought subway, and has a fountian fruit punch in his hand >tell him dude HiC fruit punch is soda that shits bad for you >his response, "well, it has vitamin C" Da fuck
Grayson Collins
Fat co worker comments that it is weird that I am eating chicken and vegetables at 10.30am in the morning and how she would never eat that. She sits down and starts eating a sausage roll
Nathan James
>doing Intermittent Fasting, dinner only edition >Private Security job, during massive heat wave and under direct sunlight >everyone asks me why they never see me eat >I explain >dude shit, that's bad for you, your body goes into starvation mode and you'll pass out >tell them it's fine, since I'm keeping myself hydrated >Comm on walkie-talkies saying how there's a coworker passed out at the entrance of the festival >it was the same person who was advising me
There's other things people will do too >throw me food like chocolates, muesli bars, juice >order me to go eat despite me not wanting >tell others that I'm not eating >tell me that I'm starting to vanish (my cheeks disappear during cuts), etc
I find it cute, but after the 20th time telling them it gets annoying as fuck.
John Morris
>breathing, living olive oil Sides lost
Jaxon Taylor
>I jump over her and continue to my destination >everyone else jumps over her too,
FUCKING KEK, IS THIS A JOKE? sounds like a bad movie.
Jackson Edwards
>fracturing her femur If you're going to lie you should make it funny.
Owen Richardson
She's uggo af now btw
Camden Gutierrez
>Work a desk job >Put on around 40 lbs over 2 years due to it >Finally get shit back together >Lost 80 now by eating right, exercising >Dude who gained 80 lbs in the same amount of time just got lunch >Just made my own >"Dude, I dunno how you did it. Losing all that weight working a job like this." >"I just stopped ordering out and started cooking here, man. That was about 90% of it." >"Couldn't do it," he says, dumping an order of fried mushrooms between two slices of pizza >"Well steak is just as good as that, man. It's pretty nice to eat like this at work of all places." >"Who's got the time, y'know?" >We do the same job >We have the same breaks and lunches >Just turn back around and go back to working/eating
John Rodriguez
Don't feel like greentexting but fat/elderly employees are abundant in my field (corrections officer). They constantly go on light duty for health related reasons, show up to work eating fast food, and are the laziest fucks I've ever had to work with. They got grandfathered in but the department is slowly changing in requirements for hiring newer fit ppl.
Zachary Bailey
would still cuddle
Jose Myers
heh
Wyatt Bell
>hiring newer fit ppl Maybe they should higher some newer PHUL too.
>working desk job >direct supervisor is stick-thin woman straight out of 1920's anti-suffragette illustrations >her supervisor is mid-level fat >her supervisor is boss-level fat >tfw you've got three female supervisors in same small working space as early 20s white male >"oh please change this light fixture, we'd do it but we're fat lazy cunts" >prepare yummy salmon for lunch >microwave it >"OMG what is that smell, it smells like cat food" >it's fucking fish you mystery-pasta eating cunts >eventually quit job, go entrepreneur >swimmin upstream now, like the salmon whose power I stole
I also baked a cake for these cunts for some sort of "dessert day" and none of them touched it. It's amazing that it took me so many years to get fully redpilled on women.
Jayden Lopez
Woman I work with says she lifts in her garage and likes to drink those herbal life shakes. She actually looks ok but i see her eating garbage at work sometimes and she also likes drinking wine.
I dont know how to tell her she would be hot as fuck if she was a little more serious about her diet
Eli Green
laughed out loud
Ryder Morales
>>swimmin upstream now, like the salmon whose power I stole
nice
Landon Green
baka, some people don't want to improve
Connor Sanders
A lot of people want to improve. They simply don't want to it to take any effort on their part.
Easton Adams
Dude you NEVER talk to normies about eating, don't ever mention IF or that you count macros/cals, anything. They just don't inderstand and are usually more than willing to shit on you for it
Hudson Richardson
I just watched some whale shovel cheesy crunchy twists and take a Coke like she was taking a cock. It was as if her existence depended on it. I am disgusted.
Justin Evans
...
Joseph Murphy
>Desk job >Gain a ton of weight Same here senpai. I was working in a warehouse and kept a good weight,but got a desk job and in 2-3 years I had gained 70lbs.
Wyatt Morris
Pic related
Oliver Williams
this
Jackson Foster
Ewww
Brody Rodriguez
My work is doing a biggest looser, one woman changes her diet every fucking week. >Complains shes ot loosing any weight. >Last thing she did was keto >"user i can eat a whole wheel of brie if i want wrappes in ham because there arent any carbs." >try to explain calories in caloties out >"no its ok ketosis will help me" Fucking normies
Oliver Peterson
Fat woman detected.
Levi Myers
Dem titties on the right girl tho
Jaxon Young
Yep, worked a warehouse before that and was fat/fit. Then hit the desk and boom, all down hill.
But now I'm in the best shape of my life so... yay, willpower.
Bentley Reyes
if thats uggo to you then I dont even want to see what your 10/10 looks like, probably a caked up blonde bitch
Chase Hill
>fat dude in class >smells like a wet dog >if you stand close enough you can smell a faint hint of feces
People who get so fat they aren't able to clean themselves should automatically be placed on some type of government intervention, it would save so much more taking care of their issues before they become bigger issues
Noah Johnson
Fatty leave
Logan Peterson
Do fat people just not understand food???
Ayden Lewis
No.
Aaron Robinson
Not really work but it's still kinda interesting
>Show up for a mandatory dorm meeting >Trying to ignore our annoying RA >Just looking around, glance to my left >Land whale brought an entire fucking bowl of mac n cheese to the outdoors meeting >She's practically licking the bowl clean and when I say bowl I mean like family size; what you'd serve portions out of.
Seriously what the fuck, do fatties just eat constantly?
Mason Martinez
user, they are the bigger issues :^)
Nolan Robinson
>do fatties just eat constantly? Yes
Nolan Cook
>everyone is on this Whole 30 diet >cheat constantly, ice cream, sodas, candy every day >everyone planks for 1 minute each day thinking thatll help >no other exercise to speak of
fuck this place
Jordan Watson
kek
Brayden Thompson
very this. my go to for IF is >oh, no thanks i just ate much less awkward than >uh no this is outside my feeding window
James Hall
uuuuuggghhhh THICCCCCCC
Isaac Rivera
Tbh senpai, when I eat Cheetos I suck the Cheetos dust off cuz it's easier than washing my hands after every Cheetos I eat. What else are you supposed to do? Wash hands after every Cheetos?
Ian Sanders
I'm a firefighter, so theirs a split between fit and fat guys.
>New guy to the station from being a contractor in Afghanistan >Nothing to do their but steroids and lift in downtime >Comes back to the USA and gets hired at my fire department >Slowly starts devolving into a fat mess >Worst part is he talks so much shit about my natty bodybuilding >I guess one day he realizes I know what the fuck I'm doing, and is tired of getting fat >Asks me to write him a meal plan >Tell him I'll do it >I know he'll cheat like a mother fucker, and has no will power >So to prove this I told him he needs to text me his stats >It's been over a month, and no text >Everyday shift when I go home he's coming in to relieve my shift >"Hey man, when are you going to send me that meal plan?" >"Whenever you decide to text me your stats." >"I don't have your number." >All of the our numbers are stored in our dispatch computer in case we need to recall people during a disaster
Fat fuck won't even look up my number and text me his stats. That's how I know he won't do shit with a meal plan I give him. Besides, meal plan?! Learn to count macros and calories you fat fuck.
Gavin Smith
>There >They're >Their Perfect example of how my brain works being 3 weeks out, and no carbs.
Blake Brooks
How about you mind your own business m8? I'm against in-denial fatties as well but there are actually people who couldn't care less about having a model-tier body and like eating shit from time to time. That's their right.
Samuel Flores
don't post creep shots man, youre better than this
Matthew Bennett
You idiot, eat your serving of cheetos then wash your hands once. Don't get that shit on my controllers/buttons/car/whatever. Licking your fingers is unsanitary as well. Great way to catch or spread a virus.
Gabriel Anderson
>when you dont have time to eat less man i just hate when that happens. almost as bad as that one time i did some curls and i suddenly got like wayyyy to muscular.
Aiden Murphy
Carlos!!?
Leo Cooper
I should have added she wants to get thin and was at one point in really good shape
Logan Baker
>licking fingers is unsanitary and a great way to catch or spread hepatitis A
My hands are clean nigguh, I also eat sushi with my hands, also use my hands to eat cashews, and I'll lick the salt or specs of rice off my hands instead of being a retard that sits with a soiled hand or get up to wash my hands when specs of cheeto dust is on them.
>this nigga
Luis Ortiz
To be fair, I would eat a sausage roll literally any time of day
Matthew Price
Did you forget where you are m8
Bentley Rodriguez
I hope you mean it's a great way to boost your immune system. But really wash them after, that shots gross.
Kayden Gomez
Hey bb
Josiah Clark
I eat french fries with my hands. I also use my shirt to open door knobs and touch elevator buttons. I also consider the likelihood of germs transfering from my fingers to my mouth be much less when eating fries as opposed to licking my fucking fingers. I know, I'm autistic.
Sorry if I don't see some dude licking cheeto dust off his fingers as very intelligent. Maybe if you're by yourself at home or something. Similar to picking your nose
Jackson Jackson
>yfw some black dude named Ketosis is actually a former marine drill instructor who's whipping her back into shape and she whoops all your asses
Brody Phillips
>I know, I'm autistic. Yup
Hunter Baker
I work at a pharmacy.
Pharmacists and nurses. All the females of these are over weight.
How can you be a medical professional and still be overweight?
Dominic Ramirez
>I just ate >stomach sound like a tyrannosaurus
Eli Smith
use a fork?
Nathan Davis
Who the fuck eats cheetos with a fork
Kayden Moore
>not eating whole packagings of smoked salmon at once get on my level
Nicholas Lopez
>use shirt to open door and push elevator buttons Goddamit guys this is problem with modern "men". You act like a little girl, man the fuck the fucking up you fucking nu-male cuckold beta king of twinky boypuccy losers. I grew on a farm a I sholeved fucking SHIT and washed my hand in a bucket of dirty gold water then fucked my neighbor and ate fatty meat and hell load of greens. Is this fucking real??? Is modern society really like this. Really?? Use shirt to open doors what the fuck bro. If I see you doing that irl I will fuck your kids.
Jackson Taylor
People who doesnt want to get their hands messy?
Carter Williams
>Not using chopsticks like a true gentleman.
Benjamin Gutierrez
I'll contribute
>working usher at a somewhat fancy movie theatre >notice obease man in a tye-dye dog shirt going into multiple theatres >notices that he takes a fucking futon into his movie from a different theatre >tell managers and they tell me to take it from the obese as fuck couple since its a fire hazard >go in to tell them and they instantly lose their shit and say "well that pregent woman has one" >tell them sorry it's a fire hazard and I have to take it from them they ask for my manager who fucking pussies out of telling them they, can't have it >says bye when they're leaving the movie >his fat bitch wife turns to me and says "guess you we're wrong" >never been more salty in my life
Juan White
how about you stupid fucks just not eat cheetos
Camden Morgan
Fuck greentexting on my phone
Nicholas Flores
>i will fuck your kids. LMAO
Jayden Moore
This gif makes me want to kill myself.
Jordan Campbell
you can thank mothers caring for their kids and media brainwashing for that
my story >work in fish company, cutting fish in pieces and shit not, physical dirty and smelly job in general >lately get Veeky Forums, start running 5k's, eating better, dropped 13 kgs in year or something, still trying to convince myself to go to gym and start working on my strength >im really fighting with my own lazy self >i drive whale girl to workplace >she has bad case of pig face and with her physique its really fittign desu >but she would look ok if she lost like 30 kg's >sometimes talk about different shit with her >shes saying "you look fine, you dont like your own looks ?" >im fucking ugly, and skinnyfat what did she mean by this >"no i dont look fine and i try hard to change myself" >she got probably offended by that as in i was trying to insult her or shit >"i used every single diet and it doesnt work for me" >literally while eating chocolate bar dumb cunt thought it was also SUPER EASY for me to stop drinking, get out of suicidal depression, stop taking drugs all on my own without no ones help or advice
I just love it when fat people try to project their own mental gymnastics on others. >you already lost 30 kilos user >thats the most important thing >you can start eating normally again >its like they all forgot my horrible eating habits >tfw i did gomad with cappucino powder before i even visited Veeky Forums
Ayden Thompson
> I'm a struggling fatass motivating myself with the memories of then I dropped 70lbs & kept it off for years > working outdoors, a lot of Mexicans who of course are all fat > training one guy and have to find a place for him to eat, don't have that issue since I bring my own food > fat Mexibro is really picky > "Let's go to the Chipotle three fucking miles away. They serve healthy food." > moron I am think "Cool! Healthy food! I might try this place tomorrow! I might have found a kindred spirit in this gaggle walking heart attacks." > So we drive out of town to what I now know is a fast food joint, and I spend my lunch break watching a fat mexican destroy a burrito the size of a fucking infant > healthy food
Chase Collins
Holy fuck I would've back slapped the life out of your manager
John James
never heard of chipotle? where the fuck do you live?
Jack Allen
I had a health teacher in middle school who was somewhere between 300 and 400 pounds. This was the guy who was supposed to teach us about carbs, calories, smoking, etc.
Andrew Brown
Sounds like he knows about all three.
Juan Cruz
The sad part is they do, they just come up with excuses to be able to eat unhealthy and still feel good about themselves.
Christian Brown
"Ketosis is really making me fatigued! Can you smell Ketosis on my breath yet?"
Jose Parker
>work in a place where people are young, healthy and mostly good looking girls Its paradise in comparison to what i read here
Camden Allen
>user you've been going to the gym for six months now, why haven't you got building muscles yet? Unironically ask me this.
Jack King
Damn son. Made me angry second hand
Gavin Lee
>shovel shit with hands all day >wash hands after >don't get sick
>touch door handle on the way into pizza place >eat pizza like a normal person >get sick
Yeah bro I use my shirt. I don't enjoy getting common cold all the time, my immune system is fine.
Bentley Lopez
SoCal. I never eat out, dudes at work give me directions to find a place using resturants as landmarks. I have no idea what they are talking about ever.
Owen Fisher
>Be me, police lieutenant >Go on patrol due to squad member being sick >Buddy on patrol is fat fuck >End up chasing thief >Start to sprint, tackle suspect, brawl ensues >By the time I have suspect under control, fat fuck colleague shows up >That fat tub of lard can hardly breath and vomits next to the suspect >On the way to the station, suspect keeps cracking jokes at colleague >"Must have been those French Fries you fat fuck" >"If all police officers were as fat as you, no one would catch us, and crime would be legal!" >Chuckle inside and somehow have more respect for suspect than coworker....