Fit confessions

I actually don't consider myself an alcoholic. Call it denial if you must, but like I said, it's the conversation and being around people I'm addicted to.

I've never had any withdrawal symptoms with booze. I keep alcohol in my house and don't even bother touching it. I just really, really despise myself, and I feel like I missed out on so much in life from being an awkward weirdo for so long. I guess I'm trying to make up for lost time by putting on a veneer of popularity for a few hours each night.

>max effort lifts

i didn't realize this was a /humor/ thread

This used to be me, except I did running, too. Then I got a really nasty case of chronic plantar fasciitis.
I eventually figured out my calves were just too tight, the night splint helped a bit, but not enough. I've now been aggressively foam rolling and stretching my hamstrings and calves and getting a bit of relief. When I get back into running, half of my workout will be stretching and rolling, trying to prevent IT band syndrome, shin splints, plantar fasciitis, and anything else that runners get. Fuck being injured.

I tell everyone that I workout for my health but in reality its just to look good and impress ladies enough to get compliments.

Me too buddy

Your secrets safe with me

wut? i though you just strech before?
also can anyone post stretch routines?

ok heres a big one
>be me 2.5 yrs ago
>want to start lifting
>cant afford the gym
>whatever ill just become an expert on what to eat and what to do
>only useful thing i learned in that time is to do wristrolling for forearms
>fast forward to present day
>can finally afford to go to the gym
>to nervous because Im not sure which program to use and i dont know any recepies
>also im afraid im missing some vital info on like how to stretch or an insanely useful exercise whatever

Just read the sticky and do SS or Stronglifts for as long as you can (those are 2 similar beginners strength programs) and just learn as you go along

You can make it dude

Dude just do some warm up sets. You're going to fuck yourself up.

Exactly the same even the age over here.

im going to but i still feel nervous.Should I try some push/pull programs?what do I eat? only Veeky Forums guides are on which foods to eat but no concrete meals

Is thirty minutes of 80% maxHR cardio after lifting a meme or not?

Regarding being nervous, I can only tell you what worked for me, and I used to be (and still am a bit) autismo: Just go to the gym, ignore the other people and start your exercises lightly, get good form down. Once you go to the gym long enough and get a bit of a routine going, you won't care much about the other folks anymore as you know how your training goes, and just stick to that.
You can also go the route of getting a homegym if you have the space - you're all by yourself and it is cheaper than a commercial gym in the long run (or even after 1-2 years, all gyms I've been to shafted their customers with all sorts of bullshit "fees" for signing up or quarter-yearly "service charges" or whatever. And if you've got a shit gym that doesn't even have a squat rack, like I did for a month, a homegym can be a straight up improvement quality wise.

(BTW, my homegym consists of a squatrack that can be setup for bench press, a bench, bar, and weights. You can buy that shit used and start off with just a few weights and buy more as you progress with training, that way you dont have to invest that much at once.)

Regarding workouts, you can google StrongLifts, which is a whole body program (Squats, Bench/Shoulder Press, Deadlifts, Rows). The guy who made it has a website where he explains everything retard simple.

And meals, well there you have to get creative.
I've got some standard meals which is usually chicken with some sort of seasoning (sprinkling curry powder all over that shit), some vegetables like zucchini (brocolli works similar) and plain rice. I just toss the meat and veggies in the pan and mash all the shit together. ; sometimes coconut milk for flavor. Or Spaghetti with meat sauce (bolognese) and real tomatoes. Just to name two really simple meals.

Also oats are a godly breakfast to fill you up for the start of the day. Good to mix with some thick dairy shit (using quark here in germany, greek yogurt or similar shit elsewhere) and milk.

t-thanks brah

i only do cardio

Wow you must look like total fucking garbage

Not the user that asked you or some meme bs, but just a heads up that I appreciated the effort of your post. Really helped out him and probablya bunch of newbies that might be lurking.

I haven't gone to the gym in roughly two weeks. I was making gains, good gains, and then I just stopped. Idk what happened. Now I just sit around while I would usually be lifting. What the hell do I do? I'm failing, Veeky Forums

Force yourself to go. That's all you can do.

Get up and go right now u sack of trash

Go lift right now, you sorry sack of shit.

i do minimal warm up. if i were to do 100lb dbs like that though i would have at least did some shoulder circles or something first though. maybe get like 6 reps with 40's or something too

DYEL: the post

I consistently start manlet threads

I'm 5'4"

30 minutes at 80%?
One: you'll kill yourself
Two: that's way fucking harder than you think.
You can't sprint for 30 minutes. Try more of 60-70% with a strong jog for 30 minutes. Its a good way to keep unwanted fat off you. Not a meme.

stretching before makes you more prone to injuries
stretching after actually makes you more flexible

just stretch whatever is tight, which, based on your post, is probably your entire body