Tfw 3 weeks into college and already have a gf

not her
here

NIGGER

>non-white

...

OH GOD ITS EVEN WORSE THAN THE FALSE POST

back to /pol/

back to africa

If you teach her how to lift and she gets swole, then my nigga you just met my soulmate.

Wow, you done goofed up.

I'm at 19 fucker. And on top of that I've just had 2 complaints filed against me by female students so don't bitch to me about stress

go on?
I've already got into it with my female professor because shes a major hillary vagina licker

>2 complaints filed against me by female students
greentext?

Post more plz, mirin

It's a long story involving booze and sluts

IM ALL EARS

>Have female friend since high school, known her for 4 years, one year below me, we're as platonic as can be
>Saturday she asks if I have any alcohol she can buy from me
>Say I can get some tomorrow
>Monday evening rolls around, snapchat her a picture of my 1/5 of vodka
>She asks if she can invite friends. I'm like fuck no, meet me so we can discuss it
>Before I know she brought 3 friends along and we're in my room taking shots
>I already had half a flask before they came up
>In total I had maybe 4-5 shots, but one of her friends went all out
>This 5'0 95 lb girl had maybe 7 shots in

>She starts acting all flirty and I play along with it, never actually touching her in any way
>~30 minutes in, the booze hits her and she can't even stand up, keeps rolling around on the floor
>Get her sitting/leaning against the AC unit on the wall, she keeps falling forward then jerking her head back and banging it on the unit
>I'm the one babysitting her while her friends just sit and watch
>Eventually my old friend and one of the other girls leave
>"This is too much for me to see, take care of her"
>I'm left with another guy she had just met today, and the fucked up womanlet in my dorm room
>Keep this bitch puking in a bag and asking her questions to make sure she's still conscious
>Other guy has a friend in an apartment we decide to move her to to get her off campus and out of my room
Cont.

>While the one sober guy (he had 0 drinks) goes to pull his car around, I'm left with this girl whose off her rocker
>She keeps making sexual advances towards me, grabbing my dick and ass, saying she wants to fuck/suck me
>She reeks of vomit and I defend against every attempt by her
>Eventually the guy has his car and I stumble down 2 flights of stairs carrying this bitch, get seen by 2 students along the way and freak out and start running with her on my shoulder
>Put her in his car, begin drive to apartment to sober her up
>Call the girl I originally invited on speaker so she can talk to the girl who is plastered
>Eventually get to apartment, leaving us with the sober female who owns it, the sober guy who drove, slightly drunk me, and this girl who can't handle her shit
>Have her laying on side in bathtub, basically babysitting her
>For the next 30 minutes we facetime her friends 3 times just so they know she's safe, eventually they ask for the apartment number, assume they're coming to get her
The plot thickens

>I feel the need to brag on the internet in an anime-inspired peruvian crossfit board

Bro ignore everybody who's being racist. Thats not cool.

However you can tell your girlfriend is ugly from this picture. Dump her, its your first semester of freshman year. You'll be a different person in three months time. Now is the time to get all the hooking up out of your system.

>The plot thickens
Please go on

>30 minutes pass and there's a knock on the door, the owner of the apartment tells me to stay quiet and shuts the bathroom door
>The door opens, closes 15 seconds later
>She says it was campus police
>I get a call with the town's area code, ignore it
>Sober guy gets a call from same number and answers it, it's the police
>"Yeah you guys just came to the door and left"
>Knock on the door a minute later
>"We had a report of an intoxicated female here"
>I come out of the bathroom because they call me out
>Me and sober guy explain we're only helping to keep her safe and sober up, drunk girl stumbles out
>They start interviewing her, good cop/bad cop
>She breaks down and tells them about her aspirations to be a teacher because she likes kids and was an orphan
>At one point asks the cops "Are you gonna rape me??"
>Eventually she gets breathalized, even though it was obvious it wasn't necessary, gets cuffed, taken off to the drunk tank
>Me and sober guy get let off, he drops me back at my dorm, I go to my room hoping the night is over
It ain't

>Tell my roommate why there's puke on the rug, apologize, clean up, ditch the bottle
>Explain everything to him, bla bla blah
>The same 2 cops come walking down my hall, and the drunk girl left her phone in my room, and I offer it to them being a cooperative white man
>They tell me to keep it, then ask my name (They just fucking met me 30 minutes prior)
>Say they were looking for me, I thought I was off the hook
>Apparently the girl I've known for 4 years claims I beat her when we were drinking in my room
A little background: I knew her throughout highschool, we've always been platonic as fuck, and she was basically "one of the guys" and we would hit, slap, punch eachother as a joke often
>I eventually remember I jokingly slapped her when she said she was gonna open the door because I didn't want people seeing the drunk mess
>I write a statement, go to shower
>While in the shower the cop comes in the community bathroom, tells me no more contact with her
>"Okay..?"
I go to bed hoping tomorrow I can clear things up and check on the drunk girl

tinder is great, fuck you op

>2 weeks into uni
>2 tinder fwbs
>top tier qt in my class mirin hard
and just now
>write pic related the "I want to spank you like a disobedient avocado"
>guacamole and chill tomorrow

D-did I make it fit?

>Wake up to 13 snapchat messages from the drunk girl, all horribly impossible to decipher, timestamp around 5:20 AM so I assume she got out
>Stated she left her phone and was messaging from a friend's phone, all I could get out of the messages were that she wants to meet at noon in the lobby to get her phone back, I reply we need to meet sooner (Had a class at 12:30)
>Eventually some faculty member comes to my bedroom, asks for the phone, happily give it to him
>Wait 2 minutes then message her asking "Glad you got your phone back, you mind meeting soon?" basically to check on her
>One word reply of "No."
>I tell her I wasn't trying to keep her phone and I wasn't the one that got her arrested either
>No reply. Fuck this cunt
>Get a call yesterday about 3:30
>"We had 2 students (Girl I've known 4 years and the one that got fucked up) file reports against you that you may have violated our sexual misconduct policy, you have until 6:00 to move all your belongings into this other dorm"
>WTF internally, but say okay
My new roommates are freshman and they're fucking dweebs btw

>implying females can ever be one of the guys

Thats one fucked up story user, im sorry

>3 weeks into college
>gf

CONGRATULATIONS! YOU'VE FUCKED UP LESS THAN A MONTH INTO COLLEGE!

Please don't be a freshman. What the fuck user. The worst mistake you can make in the first two years of uni is having a gf

>Today have meeting at noon by my university's Title IX Investigator (Google it yourself) to explain the process of events of how the investigation will go down
>They can't even tell me what exactly the accusations are, but I have to choose anyways if I'd rather have the school investigate me or the sheriff investigate me
>After the meeting I mention how the girl made many unwanted sexual advances to me, including groping, dirty talk, and she managed to kiss me once and kept trying afterwards and I pushed her away
>At first I didn't care, it's whatever to me
>Decide they want to do this, I'll do it too
>I'm now charging her for the same shit, however my old friend is still charging me with assault, so fuck that bitch
And now I'm stuck here waiting for an email to see what investigation method the 2 girls choose

Basically, if you want to drink with one friend and they want to invite more friend, be assertive and tell them to fuck off. Any questions?

The less the merrier, understood.
Thanks senpai

your school is trying to save their ass after that case of that rapist kid

hold tight friend

you deserve it tbqhwyf. uni is an establishment of LEARNING. (I understand drinking is done occasionally but it's the beginning of the school year man. wait until later or else you'll end up a being a plumber in peoria)

She looks good to me, but why are you in a relationship 3 three weeks in? out of those three weeks how long have you known this chick?

You should keep her as a fwb, there is literally no reason to be in a relationship

1) What's wrong with plumbers?
2) Fuck you

I'm the "rapist" btw, are you a plumber?

No, I'm a tradesman, though.

that's even worse than the fatty

Can you trade the crazy cunts in my school for some Veeky Forumsgrills and high test babes?

Lol. Don't worry, breh. If you have any money, hire a lawyer and work to vindicate yourself. You learned a good life lesson here. Put your head down and work on your studies. If you need to, change schools after this all blows over.

I mean I prob will get kicked out. Best case scenario I go on probation or some shit. My main concern is the stigma of being labelled a sex offender or something.

That just makes you stupid m8. Don't harass women if you don't want to be in trouble.

Read the story and tell me where I sexually violated someone

Don't give up. Talk to a fucking lawyer before you make a decision on who investigates you. Make sure that he understands your specific concerns. Ask if you can be kicked out if charges aren't pressed.

Talking to a fucking lawyer is step number one, though. Also, document shit. Screen shot any snapchats you get from this point on, and any texts you may have received. Try to find out who those campus police were in case you need someone to testify.

I did screenshot the one drunken snap I got. I have texts between my roommate and I and kik messages with another girl both talking about how I was busy babysitting this bitch. I have plenty of evidence and if their only concern is sexual misconduct, I should be good. But if they look at the "who brought alcohol on campus" I'm not obviously

Dude. You're missing the big picture.

LAWYER
A
W
Y
E
R

I'm working class. I know lots of people, myself included, who have dealt with the law numerous times. Th difference between me and the guys in jail is a fucking LAWYER you fucking idiot.

I mean bonus points for her being black but she doesnt even have the perks of most black girls
>no big ass
>no big tits
your missing out on the best parts of blacks

literally the same people posting

nice "friend" OP

Not OP. And yeah I'm fucking shocked too

>tfw 3 years into college and never had any female interaction whatsoever
>tfw I don't let out single word out most of the days I'm there
Veeky Forums did tell me gym doesn't cure self diagnosed autism

Fuck me

i bet this is OP true story

top kek m8

I was OP when I first went to college and then things changed and now I'm the self-diagnosed autist

Get a lawyer with experience in these cases and refuse to meet with them without one. Transfer.

You cocksucker, you stole my advice.

Lad does she give good head?

Update for those interested, just saw the drunk bitch flirting with a group of guys. Guess she is a slut trap. I feel bad for them :(

shes just having the time of her life m8 ^.^

Kys nerd

Good luck man, false accusations are fucked. Should've screenshotted those snapchats and recorded her while she was drunk for evidence.

Ignore the haters, she's cute. Get her to squat, fit black chicks have legendary squat asses.

Yeah, isn't the average sexual partner count for someone on Veeky Forums in college like 40-50?

it's almost unbelievable how much pussy the guys on Veeky Forums are getting

>The worst mistake you can make in the first two years of uni is having a gf

What was your sexual partner count after your first 2 years? I know the average on Veeky Forums is like 15-20 different girls a year, were you around there too?

i dont get the "college is an orgy "meme you americans have or at least its not a thing in my country

Personally I lost count after about 38. Now its well into triple figures.

They are going to throw you under the bus. Lawyer up. Don't sign any more fucking statements without a lawyer present.

Are you white? This chick int fit bro. Ive been with black chicks, just fuck them, don't get in relationship with them. They want to trap you.

It's how they kept american colleges from dying out in the 70's.
They've kept that going into the modern era because men are turning their backs on academia at an astonishing rate and they hope they can sucker them back in with the fantasy of easy hot pornstar quality bitches.

Problem is that college girls are mostly bottom of the barrel pansexual whores and complete losers who both have no idea how to interract with men and are being groomed to hate and distrust men.

It's a known known that college guys, outside of highschool sweathearts and the chads who're fucking the stacies don't fuck college girls.

Hot sexy college girls isn't even a thing in porn anymore, and the iconic hot slutty college girl that is the staple of all male aimed media is no more.
But there is a metric ton of "Go to college go lez" stuff out there. So, yeah.

Well anyway. American colleges are soon going to become the finishing schools of everyone except americans in the next decade or so. So the "college = orgy" as a marketing tactic thing is out the window.

>tfw graduated college a virgin
Literally how do you guys do this shit?

I agree. I've been arrested numerous times, never charged because i never say anything. The Uni cops, the Uni and the Police will work together against you while they smile to your face. Do not trust them a fucking inch. DO NOT TRUST. I hope it all works out bro.

How do you not? Like wtf, play sports, join clubs, fucking talk to your classmates or floormates if you live in a coed dorm

The quickest way without working on unwinding the deep ingrained conditioning that tells you you are no good with birds (or in my case catholic shame) is to get yourself a job in a cool/underground bar or club. You will see so many fit birds every week you will no longer put them on a pedestal and then you will start to notice the really fit ones never get chatted up. I will fuck anywhere too. Quickies in girls toilets can be fun. Its like a danger wank. Dont fuck girls more drunk than you. Get a job in a bar/club, seriously.

I lové this post

Oh, and when you get a lawyer, you might want to tell him that you were probably still intoxicated when you singed the original statement. If you tell him this he/she will have to believe you as you are the client. If the statement is bad in their opinion i would most certainly do this.

>3 weeks into college
>gets a girlfriend

lol why would you do this? you should be smashing hoes while you can

just stop giving a fuck and talk to people bro

Good kek and dubs

I would've gotten fucked over so much harder had I not gotten a lawyer for my OVI a few months ago

don't talk to anyone, get a lawyer

it costs some but the long term payout for your future is incredible, they know how this stupid fucking game works

It's really curious as to why people here on Veeky Forums constantly lie about their sexual conquests

You all know none of you are "doing all the hooking up" in college while criticizing this guy for having a girlfriend.