You open a gym and decide to set three unbreakable rules. Those who not follow these are not allowed...

No men except me
No clothes
No one over 130lbs (except me) or 40 years of age

Mad manlet shitskin detected

NO WOMEN
NO CLOTHES
NO HOMO

>or 40 years of age
you don't know what you're missing

1. Everyone over 300lbs gets free personal training with membership that teaches you to lift independently and program yourself
2. Every new member has the option to pay 150$ for 5 sessions to learn how to lift independently
3. Free membership, protein, (insert prize here) for a competition every 3 months that is
1. powerlifting
2. Weight loss (bodyfat % only)
3. physique

(I own my own gym and already do this)

newfag here what does t. mean?

NO body odor under any circumstances

NO cell phones

NO standing around aimlessly/machine hogging

My gym wouldn't be a social club. You work out or get out.

Sounds like NO fun. Pass on your concentration camp gym faget.

No Stairway

You're free to reject the gym it's not like anyone's forcing you to go. At least my gym would smell good. It's ideal for people who hate the social aspect of going to gyms but still like the discipline of going to one.

no fat people making excuses
no indians

i am simple

Someone sounds like someone doesn't have many friends, lots of people go to gyms to socialise, nothing wrong with that, as long as they don't get in other peoples way it's perfectly fine

No curling in the squat rack
Clean up after yourself (rack weights and wipe machines)
No fatties

Meant for

1.) No gallon jugs.
2.) Only smith machines and light dumbbells.
3.) Free pizza.

Oh wait...

You're right I don't have many friends. I also don't like going to gyms and work out at home. This is just my ideal kind of gym if I were to start one. It's fine if it doesn't appeal to you, just don't go then LMAO

>free pizza is strictly enforced

NO YES
NO NO
NO MAYBE
=
NO PROBLEM

Hows the customer satisfaction so far? Seems like pretty based rules user.

>no working out in jeans/boots/tapout tees
>if your rest periods in the squat rack are longer than 3 minutes the smallest guy in the gym gets to cheat curl there for 20 minutes and you have to watch
>belts must be removed in between sets

>bonus rule: hoods down. Youre a sweaty builtfat mexican not altair from assassin's creed

no homosexuals
no fat chicks
no gooks

This sounds like my fucking paradise. Tired of women and nigger fucking up my focus.
[spoiler]I'm 5'9" pls let me in [/spoiler]

I hope you compensate the pts well for all the time that you make them waste orbiting around the planets you're letting in for free.

No squats.
No poo in loo pajeets aka subhumans.
You do crossfit moves and people in the gym gets to beat you up for funsies.

I use my phone as an mp3 player. Also what would you have people do? An endless circuit because spending even a minute inbetween sets is banned? Stupid.
No lunks
Severly under-equip weights section and have 150 cardio machines aowfeij
NO LUNKS REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Why are you so angry little man?

Re-rack your weights
Wipe down your machines
No loitering

>no gently lowering weight
>no re-racking weights
>no squatting in the ohp rack (after all, where else can you do it?!?!)

No pants
No shirts
No homo

Denied!

No women;
No machines;
No homo;
Also penis inspection day every friday.

I'd add one more rule if I could.

4) Must know how to read English.

No manlets, manlet.

1. no breathing
2. no leaving
3. wipe down the machines when you leave

Clean up after yourself aka leave shit the way you found it

Try really really hard not to be a cunt

Party hats must be worn while squatting

>set your goals, if you can't reach them in x amount of time you are out, discipline over all.
>everything you touch must be in the correspondent place after you leave
>help the new guys (if they are trying for real, otherwise they will be out as stated in the first point)

>Party hats must be worn while squatting
This has got to be the gayest thing I've ever heard and I work in a gay bar.

>bonus rule: hoods down. Youre a sweaty builtfat mexican not altair from assassin's creed
>implying i can't cosplay while lifting
i am gonna workout in a Pikachu costume and you are going to like it you fag.

>Party hats must be worn while squatting
sign me up brah

No crab legs
No Olympic lifts
No cross fit

No items
Fox only
Final destination

tryna achieve the captain falcon physique

no bullshit routines
no broscience
no new years resolution warriors

no squatting in the curl rack

...

so no money for you

more of a gym id want to lift in than a gym I'd run. If i was running a gym it would probably look like planet fitness with steroids and eventually become a chain and be detrimental to public health, but great for my bank account.

???

Based user. Gonna cap this for later use

>No white men

>No overtly aggressive fucks

>Free diet and lifting plan for newbs

1.No women
2 you get one towel you can use to reserve equipment while resting, if no towel then it's fair game. Also if it's been on for 5 minutes and you didn't use it, it's also fair game.
3 . don't be an asshole in general

1) Whenever I walk up to a machine or weights it's instantly my turn
2) No hats
3) No jeans

No making fun/being shit to others. Everyone's here to improve
Rerack everything you use
You must always be improving

No picking on others, everyone's here to improve, starting fights and making fun of people is just discouraging people, if i get people being shitty to each other they're banned of the gym.
Women and men are completely separated in the training areas.
No loud music/podcasts, keep your rap for yourself you fucking gettho trash.

This sounds like a gym that id have a dream about then wake up and be sad because it doesn't exist

>allowing in the king of manlets
???

1. No sweating
2. No using muscles. Not even to walk.
3. No breathing

no girls
no clothes
no complaining about all the security cameras

round it up to 6ft... unless you're 5'11" kek

>mandatory hijab for women
>separate male/female sections separated to avoid sexual tension
>Nobody showers naked. I don't know how many of you westerners are secretly homosexual
>no music allowed. call for prayer will be played in speakers at appropriate times
>kebab kiosk serving only halal protein rich dishes
>gym closed in ramadan
also, no jews allowed.

Hey, guys, look at the skinny "aesthetics" fag that can't be discerned from a concentration camp survivor!

There are actually times in which it is appropriate to rest more than 3 minutes, especially on the squat. Have you ran smolov? Have you done any maximal lifting? It sounds like you're just a butthurt skeltal miring our gains.

"Don't be a jerk" really covers it all m8

>All squats are to be done ATG, no exceptions and no parallel

>4 scoops cmon, anyone caught using less than 4 scoops will be kicked from the gym with no refund

>All women at the gym MUST use the barbells, no cardio bunnies or meme hip machine bitches allowed

so only white supremacist faggots?

NO machines
NO exercise mats near barbells (Bitches always stretching in front of me ruining my sets)
NO cardio longer than 20mins

don't be mean
rerack your weights
do your best

Mama mia. Ms. Patel on the left there looks hot enough to tear up an uber car

How do I take long breaks without feeling like a bench hog?!?!?

I train high weight low reps with 5-10 minute breaks but I feel like such an asshole sitting on the bench for my break

keep doing it until someone asks to work in, then let them work in. if not, then it's not your problem. they should have the balls to ask if they want to use it

you're going to trigger a lot of people with this one hitler

No leaving your weights on the bar or ground.
No putting the plates in the wrong spot (putting the 10s behind the 45s behind the 2.5s behind the 25 behind the 35 behind the other 10 behind the 5).
No standing in front of the dumbbell rack (read: no Pajeets).

>3. No manlets (5'11" Minimum)
less than 6ft manlet detected

10/10

Less is more. So no compulsory items that don't make sense.

did u just call all whites white supremacists? dam didnt realise this was /lgbt/. off to your containment board!!

Where the Fuck is a commoner like me supposed to get 300 mil for a party hat.

1. No Cell Phones
2. Re-rack all weights
3. If you aren't physically there you aren't using it, bro.
4. The "We're all gonna make it!" Gym membership plan.
- Pay $X for 6 month/1 year membership.
- Set goal (minimum requirements/ limitations enforced - ie; "I want to reduce my bf% by 5%" is ok. "I want to drop my bf% by 1%" not ok - for a piss poor example)
- The more time you spend at gym(tracked by hourly basis) a cumulative amount of membership price is refunded to you(gym credit, to purchase additional gym membership time or items at smoothie bar/nutrition outlet). (Time at gym can only be validated by gym personal trainers, which you must pay a seperate hourly rate for.)
- meet goal before 75% of gym membership time has passed (ie; meet fitness goal in under 9 months on a 1 year membership) get additional 3 months(6 month members) or 6 months (annual members) added to membership, free.
- 10% off on all smoothie/shake bar purchases.

They do. Ever heard of planet fitness?

The fuck is wrong with barbells?

5'11 is still manlet tier you manlet

>no recording
>only bodybuilders and powerlifters
>no natties

>n-no_homo31.png
>31

captcha: pic related (no homo though)

>No homo
underrated

no homo (only real gym in town is gay club central, if you're gay and you can't interact with non-gays then that's your damned problem)
use the equipment appropriately (covers near any sin)
Do not fuck with others (covers being an autist with women and with women treating the gym as a meat market)

Gym visitors can add songs to a playlist but it will be supervised so no cancer meme shit

Arguments over trivial shit will be solved in a boxing ring with no hard feelings

Staff is professional and will correct your form even if you dont like it