Start as a skinnyfag

every straight man needs to be pegged at least once

>not wanting to feel that big black plastic cock in your ass

get out faggot

Luckily, I never fucked her. We just kissed in the club, and I touched her boobs. She got mad when I touched her boobs, and said its sexist.

>be in a bdsm relationship for two years
>she leaves me
>get fit out of depression
>start vanila-screweing tinder bitches right and left for months
>get into a relationship, have vanilla sex, sexy talking about it
>"If you say that again I'll bite you"
>"No, you won't or else I'd have to spank your ass"
>"WHAT!!!! YOU PUT A HAND ON ME AND I'M FUCKING CALLING THE COPS"

>not sticking your dick in crazy

you're missing the best sex. Just don't give any personal detail

gagged reading this

how the fuck can people find feces sexually arousing?

shouldn't there be some hard coded evolutionary safeguard to keep people from messing around with poo?

kek was she being serious?

>tfw gf likes slaps in the ass
>i've slapped her face a lot and even spit on her a few times(I dont really enjoy spitting that much but when youre super horny you do things like that)
>I've left her ass completely purple
>I grab her hair and push her around as if she were my sex toy
>I've kept fucking her when she was in pain while my dick perforated her internal organs
>at the end of the day loves me like everything

glad I didn't find one of those crazy bitches or feminists but still, sometimes I just want to make sweet love and she wants to be treated like a fuck doll and starts to bait me like "are you weak user?" and then obviously I have to go from sweet love to pounding like a pneumatic hammer or whatever those huge tools constructors use to make holes in the ground

>Skinnyfat
>Girl calls me lanky
>Start lifting
>Different girl says I look like a yoga instructor

Welp I got upgraded from shit to yoga fag atleast.

crazy bitch.

topfuckingkeks mate

I just blasted out laughing

maybe the girl is just peculiar didn't you think about that? besides being goth doesn't have the potential to be very masculine. don't be so insecure.

>while my dick perforated her internal organs

sure thing m8

>I eat so much why am I not getting big
Count your calories you faggot

absolutely. I asked if she had some bad experiences that I "triggered" with my comments, but not, she's just stupid

My ex gf, man, she was petite, brunette, nine years younger than me, and I did everything to her while she asked for more

>long hair
>goth
Still not asking for it

it's an exaggeration obviously, but those positions where you can go really deep(like holding her legs on my shoulder) it's impossible due to hurting her

how do you convince her to anal though?
I've done 3 times in almost 4 years of a relationship
She cums in less than a minute from it and then I cant fuck her more because it starts to hurt her
she also says she feels like farting all the time so no anal for me, sad since it's the only way I can fuck without a condom(she doesnt take the pill nor wants to)

that's my fetish

Reminds me of that comedy bit

>Dude is at the club and a chick hits on him
>She's hot but he's just not into it say he lets her know that he's not interested
>"What's the matter, user? Are you gay or something?
>"Gay? I got fucked by a dude and HATED it! Of course I'm not gay!"

Cut your hair Surinam

>like holding her legs on my shoulder

Fuck, I love that position. It hits them right on the G too.

>how do you convince her to anal though?
I didn't, she asked me for it. I trained her with patience, lube and dildos, teach her to mastrbate all the time, and in a couple weeks I was wrecking her ass daily.

I really fucking miss her.

>She cums in less than a minute from it and then I cant fuck her more because it starts to hurt her
Do you also believe in santa claus?

kekkers

kek, it's true though
from vaginal intercourse she has to use her cunt muscles(no idea how they're called) to cum while I go slowly but deep inside

from anal I dunno, guess it's the mental aspect of it
for me it's mostly mental and visual since feelings wise, it's so tight that I can barely feel anything and it's hard to cum

since you are such a guru, please explain to me how to go from the first guy to the second guy in this video related

x hamster (dot) c0m (slash) movies (slash) 5802440 (slash) boyfriend_vs_black_bull.html

fwiw I have an 8x6, I can last for about 20 minutes, and I'm really fit. I seriously feel like it isn't the performance, but more that the sex has become routine (going on 3 years) and it used to be different. Is the second guy really that much better, or is it just because of the taboo/new experience for the girl?

srs question, and no im not a cuck

>from anal I dunno, guess it's the mental aspect of it
This is hilarious please never stop being you.

DELET this if rule violation for NSFW or whatever but if anyone is dumb enough to go to that link from work they deserve to be fired

A guru? what

I'm not even watching that cuckoldry garbage m8
I'm 7 inches and ive yet to measure thickness but it's more than 56mm since I use condoms with 56mm circumference or whatever it is and theyre reaaaally tight
For the sex to not become a routine or boring you just have to fuck in different places and also try new positions, the mental aspect is reall underrated
you have to surprise her, or even just tease her the whole day that when you come home she'll be begging for it

>all girls are the same
>they all cum the same way

>you have to surprise her, or even just tease her the whole day that when you come home she'll be begging for it
actually i've noticed that these do work

as for the video w/e I coulda linked two separate videos that one just encompasses what I'm trying to ask in one small ~5minute window

I've also jerked off to it, though, which led me to ask the question

there is. it is called disgust. Most people find this disgusting.

ive paid for this

>long hair
Found the problem