What's the worst Veeky Forums mistake you ever made?

What's the worst Veeky Forums mistake you ever made?

>cutting like a mad man
>can take up to 3 days for me to shit
>want to get an accurate weight measurement of myself
>waiting to take a shit to weigh myself
>5 days pass without me taking a shit
>start binge eating to spike my metabolism and trigger a bowel movement by pushing the food down faster
>7 fucking DAYS pass without shitting
>buy some laxatives
>take double the recommended dose
>stomach feels like its tearing itself apart, can't stand up straight and can't sleep because of wretching pain all night
>8th day
>pain kinda gone
>still can't shit though
>go for a 5km run later on
>start having immense abdominal pain again
>don't think anything of it, keep running
>reach the half-way mark
>uncontrollably shit myself
>explosive liquid shit fucking spraying out my ass
>liquid shit fucking everywhere all down my legs and ass
>squat down on side of road as cars drive past shooting like a gallon of liquid shit onto the side walk
>spend like 40 minutes squatted on the side of the road shitting
>abdominal pain is fucking unbelievable
>waddle back to car
>drive home covered in shit
>severe stomach cramps for the next couple of days

S

>first time going to gym
>be beta, 15 year old
>still trying to figure out my strength
>trying to bench for the first time
>drunk driver crashes through gym window
>hops out of car
>wobbles over to me
>starts licking me
>bar falls on my neck instantly killing me
mfw

>back when i was 14 i played football freshman year
>doing standing overhead press
>brand new to lifting
>struggle to get 65 pnds. over my head
>proud of myself for pulling it off
>bring weight down to fast
>hit middle of my fucking head
>crack skull
>pass out
>piss myself
>bar lands on back of head
>not enough weight on bar to get the weight more than 6 inches off the ground
>break my nose
>unconcious for like 12 seconds
>no one helping me
>start screaming my ass off while crying
>switch schools next week 8^)

>about 4 years ago
>have to shit
>cutting at the time
>doing 45 minutes on elliptical
>30 minutes in start getting bowl cramps
>get off elliptical to avoid an accident
>spread my legs to far i guess cause all of a sudden my asshole turns into a chocolate fucking waterfall
>try to clench buttcheecks to stop shitting
>slip on the shit
>foot caught under a pedal
>cant get unstuck
>start screaming like manchild
>cant stop shitting
>small gym so mainly employees around
>the hottest fucking employee in my entire city has to be the one to see me
>she trys to help me get unstuck
>i broke 2 toes
>mfw i was in to much pain to clean up my shit

gg

>cardio

>be me, 19 never been into fitness until i found this board.
>lurked for about 2 weeks and binge watched zyzz everday
>thought i knew everything about fitness
>bought a weightset, after a few weeks I easily became stronger so I bought more weights
>gains.jpg
>protien shakes, chicken and rice every meal, I needed to get more gains
>became addicted to this lifestyle, quit my job to get more lifting into the day
>time passes, I become a Veeky Forums god, I compare pictures of myself and I look like a completely new person.
>haven't seen my parents in about a year, went to a state college but dropped out, couldn't handle the pressure so I was just stuck there. I didn't want to face my parents after that
>December comes, mother calls me, asks me if I want to come home for Christmas, offers to pay for my ticket.
>I accept
>Hopefully this will grow my relationship with my parents again
>Hop on flight, stuck behind a mother and her child that wouldn't stop fucking crying
>fuckmylife.jpg
>Finally arrive after 8 hours of hell
>Before I go to my parents house, decide to revisit areas from my hometown, even saw my highschool crush, she let herself go. Doesn't even recognize me.
>Catch a bus home, takes about 5 minutes to get home, busdriver looked at me like I was an animal
>Knock on the door, mother answers looking at me and my new assets
>She greets me and praises me for my new look, she says I look like a body builder.
>Sleep
>Wake up, having Christmas Brunch
>My father asks me to pass him the turkey
>Pick up knife and murder my parents
>Rape corpses
>I am the one I worship
>Lucifer save me
mfw

Lmao op that is great

Also mine are
>drink two 5 hour energies and try to set pench pr, fail and pass out from tachycardia
>smoke laced weed and have a minor seizure, may have been a slight stroke idk but had two MRIs and they are clear
>ate six cloves of garlic and had some of the worst stomach pain nausea ever
>quit ssris cold turkey and went to the ER because I thought I was going to die
>twisted my ankle horrible and walked on it. Now my right leg is much weaker than the left

I am not a smart man

>used to do martial arts
>getting closer to exam
>only high kicks are lacking
>decide to train at home
>in my room kicking the air
>suddenly the carpet slips
>falling in slowmotion
>I open my eyes
>covered in cold sweat
>can't move leg
>pull up sweatpants
>see knee cap chilling next to my calves
>call for help
>doctors laugh at me for training at home
>knee didn't heal properly for 1,5 years

>tfw right foot has been fucked for literally 4 years after accidentally kicking a wall

Goddamn what is it with legs and feet that make them so fucking brittle?

I ate like 2-3 habaneros pretty much straight up with some water and milk.

>a)prove to myself I could do it (I like spicy stuff, it wasn't that bad going down)
>b)clear out my digestive system and speed up metabolism

Spent roughly 4 hours dry heaving and forcing myself to throw up later that night once it really started to settle somewhere below my intestines. I couldn't lie down in bed because the pain was so intense, probably got a really good one in the two.

also worst fit mistake was continuous working out doing 5x5 squats when starting out and not letting my knee tendonitis heal properly. Extremely painful and did it for months. When I read that really the only 2 things that could happen were more inflammation and pain I just kept going because fuck losing progress. I think I over compensated on form during that time, because I'm only now fixing a left hip flexor problem that came about because of that.

>Doing push press instead of OHP to boost my ego with heavier weights, not very much carry over since it leaves you weak for a huge part of the ROM.
>Not eating enough protein. 1g/1lb is not necessary for most (especially for fatties,) but at least 0.8g/1lb of lean mass is a must.
>Not doing any cardio, it's an excuse for lazy people.
>Not getting my zinc, not just for gains but also for benis turgidity.

MOAR TRAPPY LEWDS POR FAVOR

Good god pls be true

>start as an overweight POS
>fall for SS "don't need anything but weight training" meme
>go from ~235lb to 270lb
>lift with shit form and give myself knee and elbow pain
>still trying to lose the original weight, lost the extra already
>didn't lift for years so it was all for nothing and most the strength is gone
>by now I'm married with kids so I can't dedicate as much time as I'd like to weights/conditioning

:^)

stopping

...

His smile and optimism: gone.

t. Page 374/9001 of the Excuses book

>first time doing skullcrushers
>can barely curl 2 5kg plates, yet decided to use them
>Incline bench, so I have to get the bar up first
>start jerking it
>feel my right elbow turning in a weird direction
>had to drop the bar
Nobody at the gym gave a fuck tho

>His
check your fucking privilege shitlord

I said I'm currently losing weight. Just wish I had more gym time.

>fall for SS "don't need anything but weight training" meme
>go from ~235lb to 270lb
So you started exercising without fixing your diet and it didn't work? Who would've fucking thought

>65 pnds.
>pnds.
If only there was a good abbreviation of that weight measurement

I was not a smart child

>6 cloves of garlic

why