Sup guys how do i make myself look like dan bilzerian?

>5'12"

>all this jelly

just mad cause youll never be as alpha as him

jfc christ people

THESE PICS ARENT REAL

he is an instagram personality. yes, he's rich and has cool toys, but y'all are idiots if you think this was a spur of the moment pic taken randomly during his day to day life.

its entertainment and self-promotion. the girl in the back is wearing heels playing ping pong on an open rooftop, for gods sake. even assuming she didnt snap her ankle, theyd lose a ball every volley. and the cat? get real

im not saying he doesnt party or that he has a shit life, but its amazing that people dont get that a whole lot of this is just a persona

The beard is the key to all of this

WHEN WILL THEY LEARN

>former US Navy Seal trainee
>getting removed from BUD/S by the instructors because you don't have the personality suited for a seal

I just want to have as many guns as him.

That's my dream.

Obviously not him

...

lol damn dan is the man

I watched War Dogs last night, and that faggot was in it for like 5 seconds. I bet you he paid a crisp million to be in that scene.

The fact that he took the time to write all that out shows how that comment struck a nerve lmao

Obviously hit a nerve

>replying to that

salty af

Shook

>Got money from his daddy

Who got his money from white collar crime

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paul_Bilzerian

If finance laws in this country had any goddamn teeth, Dan would be just another broke-ass jabroni

Cookie-cutter fuckboy who wouldn't last a minute with a real nigga

Salty Dan

What's funny is that I once fucked all Dan bilzerian's bitches, and made him watch.

What a bitch.

I won't deny that I'd like that money, but I'd feel like shit after awhile if I knew I didn't work for it.

Plz go, Dan. Go fuck a bitch for me.

He'd be living the same life if he was beta.

Money is great, but it does shit to you. Especially if you grew up with it.

>two heart attacks
>35 years old

Nah, i'm good.

he's a manlet

>He's got a shitload of money and it looks like it helps with the ladies hahaha
Ftfy

Step one: Go back in time to before you were born, pick a rich dad who is involved in white collar crime
Step two: When the authorities crack down on your dad, he will give you a sizeable portion of his wealth in order to protect the stolen money from the SEC
Step three: tell everyone that you made the money playing poker
Step 3.5: Work out a lot, get a good physique. This is optional, it really doesn't matter.
Step four: Go hogwild with your dad's stolen money, fuck a bunch of hookers, do a bunch of coke, buy a bunch of guns and exotic pets
Step five: Make a bunch of posts to instagram to show everyone how much money/possesions you have and how many hookers you fuck

Congratulations, you are now Dan Blizerian.

Quads of truth. Don't trade hedonism for health OP, he will be dead within the decade.

I'll honestly never understand how this guy lives his life like this. I'm not jealous of his wealth, but it's just like, you have millions of dollars that you could do anything with, and all you prefer to do is just sit around and take fake pics with a bunch of escorts? Either this guy is a massive idiot or there is something to his life I don't understand.

Honestly this might not be what his life is like whatsoever. He makes a lot of cash off instagram, he might live a pretty normal life and just hire models/hookers/whatever to do photoshoots.

?
who the fuck needs lube to jerk off?
is dan cut?

>He makes a lot of cash off instagram

By posing for pics he paid for with his own money? I somehow really doubt that. If he does live a different life then I've misjudged him, but all I'm bothered about is how badly he's treating his wealth. He has millions of dollars to his namesake, all which he could invest, turn in for profit and make a name for himself and it's all just going down the drain.

What if I want the money and choose different life style?
It's not that hard to figure out.... Seriously. All the mad shit money make men do is because of attention and pride. These men are afraid of a bit disrespect from others

But poor people who worked hard growing up like me know that human is shit in general. Don't matter how rich or poor you are, or how successful. People just do not give any respect and a single fuck. So drop that pride and stop thinking you can convince others you're the alpha. Then you'll live god tier life with money

plate carriers without plates in movies and tv really grinds my gears.

you have autism

>implying poor people don't do this all the time

>mfw 893 beta nu-males 'liked'' Dan's comment and ''shared'' Dan's initial wallpost

dan responds to everything combative, feminists post social justice shit on his instagram and he just throws down to the point where you cant really tell if dan puts up the pictures to bait sjws or the sjws are baiting him with obvious tired talking points.

>the vicious circle of shitposting and trolls will never be broken.

Same senpai
It's like.... You can literately hire a group of experts to explore rain forest with. You can have safety group guarding you to climb beautiful mountains
You can hire professionals to make you competitive at sports. Or So many fun possibilities
This guy chose the poor people/ nigger out of the hood life style

It's like you can't change a poor people's mind. A poor nigga drunk moonshine when poor. Finally he made it then he throw away millions at nightclub for overpriced alcohol. His life doesn't change at all

What a defensive little bitch

He's a spoiled rich fuck. I've met a bunch of his type. When you grow up getting everything you want, you get bored and just chase drugs and "fame."

Companies pay him to advertise their products on his instagram, night clubs and other party spots mostly, but also shit like dollar beard club and some gun manufacturers. He does it subtly, not like "Hey go to club X", just something like posting a picture surrounded by sloots and writing "partying at club X". If you are getting enough attention on any social media platform, you can turn it into ad money. Definitely not the best return on his money that he could be getting, but when you already have infinite money it doesn't really matter.

I'd trade bank accounts with him for sure, not lives. Number one because he is going to be dead soon, two heart attacks in your early 30s does not bode well. Number two because I don't like doing drugs or getting drunk, it just stopped being fun for me after high school. Number three because I would hate being surrounded by people who pretend to like me because they want something from me, it'd be impossible to form any sort of meaningful relationships or friendships because I'd always be thinking in the back of my mind that if I wasn't rich and famous they wouldn't give me the time of day.

triggered dan

>playing ping pong in high heels
>on a roof

what could go wrong?

Someone post his "legs"

I'd take having his money; I just wouldn't spend it like a jackass the way he does

Something in his past probably contributed greatly to his histrionic behavior. Either he didn't get enough attention/recognition or got too much, and now his life is literally just trying to convince masses of strangers that his life is totally sick and radical bro. He's definitely not the only rich guy banging hot girls and maybe doing stupid shit with his money, but those other guys aren't as obnoxiously insistent on making sure everyone sees what they're doing.

He got none

If I get that money I'd try to hide it from normies
Imagine going to a strange country with loaded money not to worry about anything. Fucking god tier adventure and nobody bothers you.
These stupid fucks spoiled such a good chance and luck they have on some boring shits. It makes me mad. Like seeing some Arabs driving million dollars sport cars but have no fucking idea how an engine works

Do you know how an engine works?

roids and short height for physique
very well sculpted beard for jaw

>Dan: "Okay everybody up on the roof."
>Dan: "You, the blonde and the other one, get naked and act like you're playing ping pong."
>Sloot: "I dunno..."
>Dan: "Here's a thousand each."
>Sloot: "Okay lol!"
>Dan: "Okay, I'm gonna clean my guns now. Purple Bikini, get over here with that cat so Instagram can see how much I love pussy haha!"
>sloots laugh mechanically
>Dan: "Okay, other girl. Take the picture in three... two..."
>shutter sound
>Dan: "Goddammit! I wasn't ready! One more time. Three... two... one..."
>shutter sound
>Camera Sloot: "Okay, how's this?"
>Dan: "You didn't get the fucking skyline! How is Instagram supposed to know what a skyline looks like from a roof if you don't get the fucking skyline?!"
>Dan: "Okay again. Three... two..."
>Ping Pong Sloot: "Hey Dan? Amber just hit the ball off the roof..."
>Dan: "Goddammit, it doesn't matter! Just act like you're having fun."
>shutter sound
>Dan: "GODDAMMIT! Okay, one more fucking time. This is the money shot girls lol."
>sloots laugh mechanically
>Dan: "Three... two... one..."
>shutter sound
>Dan: "Fucking finally. Now lets go take a few in front of my cars and I can send these to my rep for captioning."
>Sloot: "More pictures? Dan it's fucking hot out here..."
>Dan: "WHAT?!"
>throws sloot off roof
>Dan: "IT'S HOT OUT HERE LIKE A WOMAN'S PUSSY! RIGHT LADIES?!"
>sloots laugh nervously
>Dan: "ALRIGHT, LET'S GO TAKE SOME FUCKING PICTURES OF CARS!"

>I hate cleaning guns

Nigga nobody who owns a gun has ever said that

>wants guns
>post picture of third world ISIS gun

user, you're not trying to kill the gays for Allah are you?

Those aren't plate carriers, they're Rhodesian vests.

Kek

>and it looks like it helps with the ladies hahaha
Have a rich daddy, be a complete waste of oxygen. Pay women.

Dan is rattled.

Dan Blizerian is a real life Johnny Bravo.

A manlet with no legs.

Can you imagine what happened before he took this photo

>hey babe hold this cat
>someone get a ping pong table up here
>OK you two, strip naked and start playing ping pong

>I SAID STRIP NAKED AND PLAY PING PONG WHAT THE FUCK AM I PAYING YOU FOR????

> being this salty
jesus christus m8

Back left is hot as fuck
Back right has a moonman chin

Top kok

the guy should have replied with the gorilla warfare copypasta t b h

Shénme tā mā de nǐ tā mā de gāngcái shuō wǒ, nǐ zhè xiǎo biǎo zi? Wǒ huì ràng nǐ zhīdào wǒ bìyèle wǒ bān dǐngbù dì hǎibào tújí duì, wǒ yǐjīng cānyùle duì Al-Quaeda xǔduō mìmì túxí, wǒ yǒu chāoguò 300 zhèngshí shā sǐ. Wǒ zài dà xīngxīng zuòzhàn xùnliàn, wǒ zài zhěnggè měijūn dǐngbù de jū jí shǒu. Nǐ shì wǒ shénme dōu bùshì, dàn zhǐshì yīgè mùbiāo. Wǒ huì xiāomiè nǐ tā mā de chūlái jīngquè de xǐhuān, qízhōng cóng wèi zài zhège dìqiú shàng jiànguò de, jì zhù wǒ dehuà tā mā de. Nǐ yǐwéi nǐ kěyǐ táotuō shuō gǒu shǐ wǒ zài hùliánwǎng shàng? Zài xiǎng xiǎng, bèndàn. Zài wǒmen fāyán, wǒ liánxì wǒ de zhěnggè měiguó hé nín de IP jiàndié mìmì wǎngluò zhèngzài zhuīchá xiànzài ràng nǐ gèng hǎo de bàofēngyǔ zuò hǎo zhǔnbèi, qū. Zhè mǒle nǐ dǎ diànhuà gěi nǐ de shēnghuó kělián de xiǎo dōngxī de fēngbào. Nǐ tā mā de sǐle, háizi. Wǒ kěyǐ zài rènhé dìfāng, rènhé shíjiān, wǒ huì shāle nǐ de qībǎi duō tújìng, zhè zhǐshì wǒ de shuāng shǒu. Wǒ bùjǐn zài túshǒu gédòu guǎngfàn de péixùn, dàn wǒ yǒu jīhuì huòdé měi hǎijūn lù zhàn duì de zhěnggè āsēn nà, wǒ huì yòng tā lái qí zuìdà chéngdù wèi nǐ cā qù cǎn pìgu dàlù de liǎn, nǐ zhège húndàn. Zhǐyào nǐ néng zhīdào shénme xié'è de bàofù nǐ de xiǎo “cōngmíng” de pínglùn shì yǒuguān dǎdǎo zài nǐ shēnshang, yěxǔ nǐ huì chí yǒu nǐ tā mā de shétou. Dàn nǐ bùnéng, nǐ méiyǒu, xiànzài nǐ fùchū dàijià, nǐ zhège gāisǐ de báichī. Wǒ huì lā shǐ fènnù biànbù nǐ, nǐ jiāng tā yānmò. Nǐ tā mā de sǐle, lǎoxiōng.

>tfw money cant buy you height

Dan, the prime minister of manlets, Bilzerian
No, but seriously, i didnt even know this guy existed until this thread, jesus Veeky Forums, why do you try so hard in finding annoying people?

Kekek

Nah. If I've had his money I would still be an autist engineer. Would probably open my own company and spend my life seeing the world instead of being a Instagram whore

I didn't even notice, where's the ball? They're standing around topless with paddles

>All these jelly dyels itt

Crabs in a bucket.

A bunch of people made fun of him because he had small legs.

This was his response.
This guy might have life on easy mode, but you have to agree that he's one insecure bitch.

I love Dan
He's a hell of a poker player and makes so many faggots froth at the mouth it's almost a superpower
God you people are jelous little shits

top kek

This guy seems very insecure

nice. also make sure you can see downtown LA so everyone knows where he's at

You would be too
Being rich only makes people gate you even more just out of spite and jealousy alone.
He isn't the nicest guy in the world but he gets a lot of undeserved hate simply because of his money(which is disgusting and petty)

No, he gets hate because he has inherited a fuckton of money and uses it to stage photographs in order to impress 15 year old boys

this guy is cooler

Only if that guy is gay

Old gays are the best tbqh

>Someone made fun of my legs, get the fucking jet ski

his jaw is shit thats why he has that ugly beard.

Looks like she's taller than him

He's basically what you'd get if a miscer won the lottery

Holy shit that guy is pathetic. It's not even funny at this point

how does his dick taste you know he like boys right?

Is this what happens when you get too rich and powerful to consider you need therapy?

Unless you have real actual goals in life, like accomplishing something. Not everyone wants to sit around on their ass and be a lazy piece of shit. Some of us actually want to get PhD's , maybe do research, and make the world a better place. He's living his life as an overgrown spoiled child, that only appeals to other children. Im also in better shape than the chicks in the bikinis, and don't find this Guy to be very attractive at all.

triggered xd