How did you overcome social anxiety/awkwardness?

I had extreme social anxiety, I was even diagnosed by a therapist

Now I approach girls all the time and chat them up, I say whatever I want with complete confidence, a few weeks ago me and a coworker (retail, shut up, I'm only 20) were talking about how the holocaust and how it was a hoax in-front of customers, I have talked shit about Islam in-front of customers,

You wouldn't believe how many red pilled beliefs are out there, you guys think you are in some secret knowledge bubble but you aren't

Anyway, here's how I cured myself. You know that black guy in class who was hella stupid and did stupid shit but everybody laughed at the shit he did and had fun. Use that as fuel for what you are to do next

Whenever you feel anxious about something, you DIVE in. Like a pool filled with cold water, the water won't stop feeling cool until you dive in. I once promised myself I would do whatever idea I became anxious about.

I once cringed hard at the idea of wearing a keffiyeh (pic related) to school with a button up and tie, and guess what I did? I DIVED into the idea and did it

I nearly had a heart attack to be honest. All that happened was that people asked me questions and if I was religious. One person gave me a death stare but it was some weirdo who tucked in his shirt into his belt

If your idea is really stupid and embarrassing, just be extremely confident and it will seem like a joke, but you must dive in, confidence is everything

lol nigga, i've been saying this shit since i was 18

i'm turning 30 next week. no qts in site. probably going to die alone, if i'm being honest

life isnt a fucking romcom; youre not goign to bump into your soulmate in a quirky, cute way just by living your private, quiet, loner life

good job, user. keep it up

Beta blockers (ironic no)?

I had anxiety attacks whenever around new people where my heart rate would sky rocket and id start sweating. got some propanalol and now am able to talk to people no problem.

I know. The ending was mostly me joking.

Getting jobs that force you to develop social skills seems like a good idea.

>tfw terrified of a job interview

there's a high chance I wouldn't even be able to get a word out let alone string a sentence together

what's the point in going through that suffering if I'm clearly not going to get the job

someone posted something the other day about the main problem with making conversation is caring too much about what the other person thinks. stifles your mind with the pressure

ive internalized that and found its helped me interact with a few people i meet in my day to day. i still care, but being aware of how that is the biggest obstacle in communicating effectively has helped so far

>when the nerd group doesn't like you because you took one of the qt pie's number

I never hung out with them, my friend was part of it and I couldn't do that shit in college. I started lifting my senior year so I was fuccboi ready for college. My friend was a greasy, fat, mustache nerd. He kept creeping and flirting with them whenever I ran into him. I think he's still a virgin 3 years later, he hasn't changed at all.

Are you me? Im the 22 year version of you

word, man. just thought id throw out my cautionary tale just in case.

the upcoming milestone is really making me think about this sort of shit

Sort of. The first one I tried was working the desk at a bowling alley. I failed hard and after a month they let me go. The combination of Subway and the pizza shop helped, but it was a very slow process.

Still, gotta start somehow. If you can't speak up, you will never get what you want.

>Be me
>Be social awkward with ladies
>Decide enough with that shit
>Decide to say one cute/ compliment thing to one women a day
>Get addicted to it
>Say it to 100 women a day
>Eventually get laid
>Get addicted to that now
>having sex 3 times a day now
>now im addicted to sex

Really im mostly joking though...I got over it by confronting the issue and that was I was fearful of being told to fuck off by a Woman...although it has not happened yet it will eventually but w.e...I now have 100 percent confidence in chatting up complete stranger ladies.

>tfw turned 18 a week ago and this is the moment in my life where I can either fuck myself over for good or change things for the better
Due to recent changes in lifestyle, I'm in good shape. Tall, tan, handsome. Not Mr. Perfect on the exterior, of course, but some girl told me that the general air of the room changes when I'm there. But I am a complete, 110%, unadulterated, neurotic mess. I have been diagnosed with multiple anxiety disorders and always score Very High on those personality disorder tests. I get petrified when among people I am not acquainted with, and can only function properly when negotiating or talking strictly business. I spend my days just sitting there, fearing the most inane bullshit imaginable (seriously, I blow the most retarded inconsequential shit out of proportion. I'm 4 months into this one fear over something so stupid and I just can't shake it at all). I am also envious, bitter, and very Fox and the Grapes-esque when it comes to misanthropy.

The point of this blogpost is that it fucking frightens me that there are 30 year olds in the same fucking position as me, and if I don't get my life on track I will become one of them.

>tfw I'm a literal autism

it's never getting better. I've accepted it. I will never fit in

Not to say I've always been alone. For whatever reason I would get myself a gf that I had nothing in common with and I actually would end up sort of resenting. The only girls I've ever liked ended up not being into me. And I just can't picture myself settling for someone I don't care for and being miserable. I don't even have high standards, really. But, as I get older, the gfs have been less and less. But I'm getting really fit lately, and it has been helping with my anxiety I think, if only because I see myself in a better light

Thanks user

Is hooking up with a girl who's kinda drunk and you're not degenerate? I had my dorm door open and this one chick came in and we started hooking up pretty hard. She had a fat ass so I definitely wanna smash but I thought it was fucked up that she was a little tipsy and I wasn't

some cases of """autism""" are just perpetuated instances of low self-esteem and generalized anxiety

>try to hang out with nerds so I can express myself in a non-judgemental environment
>immediately start judging them because of all their wanking off over stupid nerd shit

I just need a nice group of fellow bastards to hate everything with.

c-can you do this to coworkers

This.. actually makes sense

I had high self esteem as a kid. I was more autistic because I didn't realize my behavior was wrong.
I developed anxiety and depression during my teenage years because no matter what I did I was always being told I was doing something wrong and constantly made fun of.
I didn't even realize what social cues were until I was 17 and smoked a lot of weed and it dawned on me.

this is a little troll but i seriously take life advice from movies and how to act

>hate normies and their socially acceptable form of autism
>hate nerds and their actual unadulterated autism
>hate other non-nerd loser rejects and their internalized bitterness
My one friend is the one guy I've ever met who isn't a walking stereotype, thankfully.

30 year old guy from above

dude, even just realizing this is a huge step. my problem was putting my head down, minding my own business, and thinking that everything would just kinda work out on its own

please be proactive about it. see someone and actively, consciously try to work on your issues. i relied heavily on tv, porn, weed, and other types of escapist activities because i didnt want to really focus on my shit

youve got a ton of time, but believe me it goes by quick

fwiw, i'm not a virgin though. that shit can just happen

>wear towel
>unknowingly by eBay account with ties to Isis
>go to Guantanamo, albeit anxiety free

>social cues
Such as? I don't mean this as a complete autist "hurr durr what is a social cue?!?!" question but what kind of cues are you referring to?

Also, you might think you had high self-esteem as a kid, but you probably didn't. Wanna know why? Because I was just like you. From 2nd-6th grade I was the most popular kid in school and was destined to go places. Had friends, could talk to girls, etc. But then, in late highschool, it dawned that the problems I suffer from now are the same as back then, and I just happened to block out all the negative memories from that time period.

I'm also 18, and I know most of those feels bro. I've been telling myself I should raise my hand in class, join debate club, or just generally talk to more people ever since I figured my social anxiety was a huge obstacle at like 13. I never did shit. One day I'll be 30 and still won't have done shit.

tfw I wanted to turn into a man...then tinder came

Tinder made it 100x easier, goddamn if it had existed years before I wouldn't have went through my first 2 years of college with only getting one girl because I never said a word. She hit on me

Went from 1 girl in 2 years to 25 girls in a year.

Another tip I have is to skip the small talk, and get to the big talk

I asked a coworker yesterday "what is something you want to do before you die"? She told me she wants to go sky diving, I said that's exactly what I want to do. She said nobody wants to go and that all of her friends are pussies. I said we should go together, I immediately looked up the nearest place and called them and we asked them questions, and made plans for Thursday.

That simple question, to somebody I have spent less than an hour of contact with, and we are going skydiving together and doing something amazing

Let me tell you something about confidence, I read in 48 Laws of Power about a Chinese warlord (or householder or emperor or something). An army that outclassed him was on their way to destroy his territory, he sat on the wall to his territory waiting for them, by himself, playing an instrument. When the enemy army arrived they saw him sitting their, unaltered by their arrival, playing an instrument. It was as if he didn't have a care in a world, like they didn't even exist. This struck fear in their hearts, they didn't know what he has planned or what was to come. This army turned around and retreated. Not a single drop of blood was spilled, just a man with 100% confidence

You talked to that user perfectly fine, why don't you treat talking to people in real life like that?

lmao are you joking?

>recognize my issues as a freshman
>join the football team
>quit a month later because I didn't become acquainted with the team soon enough and it was awkward as fuck
>say enough is enough as a sophomore and join track
>do the same thing I did with football and quit
>probably at least 3 more instances of having done similar shit
>mfw I actually believe things will change after having left highschool

>join debate club

Doesn't help with anxiety. I was a State champ at debate and still can't hold a conversation.There's a big difference between performing for even a large crowd and talking to them (and public speaking is a form of performance). If you just want to make friends with speechos, that's fine though.

You seem to have at least some social competence, though.

I am a legitimate agoraphobe and have trouble talking to people I'm actually comfortable with when out with public. I doubt I could do something like that with a coworker.

I feel like I reeeeaaaaallllyyy have to work for conversations. I have to think very hard of what to say so I can keep a conversation going.

It's just feels so normal to say "yep" or "yeah" after someone says something and leave it at that.Then there's the awkward moment when you abruptly end a conversation.

fuck small talk

You don't understand, every since elementary school I missed around 2-3 days a week

I would get dressed, put on my backpack, and I would stop at the door, I couldn't bring myself to open it.

Kids would come over and knock on my door to hang out, I would hide in my closet until they stopped knocking

I have been kicked out of many schools because of attendance and only survived because I went to an alternative school where you only showed up 2 times a week for an hour and did all the shit at home

I went from that to somebody without fear

I realized nothing really matters.
I try to think about the future as you do the past. Do you like that you hesitated and shied away from people in the past? Then what makes you think a few more years of that will be remembered fondly.
That's what makes it worth it to me. Just the possibility of having a positive interaction is worth trying.
I'd rather be rejected and given weird looks the rest of my life than die wondering what could have been if I only tried.

I haven't talked to anyone outside my family in 3 months

see
Talk abotu things that matter

living the dream

I can't even go to the gym and do my shut their without feeling like a sperg.

cant remember the last time i opened up and had a conversation with someone

Nah. that would be living alone in a cabin in the woods or on a private island

same with me, actually. from the relationships i've been in, i invariably end up feeling stifled. and the good ones have always seemed to be taken when i met them

what it winds up being, really, is having to interact with someone for several hours on end more than 2-3 times per week being completely unbearable. if it requires going out and doing shit routinely, its even worse

but, it's at the point now where i cant tell if i genuinely enjoy being alone, with the periodic instances of crippling tfwngf, or if there are deep-seated issues preventing me from having any sort of meaningful connection with another human... or if both are true, but largely exclusive of one another

Do it right now, right here. I'll read it.

>went from having extreme brain fog preventing me from doing anything, to falling for the Shemitah scare of 2015 and spending each day fearing that, to obsessively counting things I MUST do over and over again in my head, to fearing somebody killing me over stupid bullshit
I need to be put on meds. Whenever I try to socialize there's always a voice in my mind saying something along the lines of "this interaction doesn't matter, you will be dead by September" or "you are going to be killed soon, flare up dat cortisol". I feel like a schizo or a psycho but I'm neither. I don't know what this condition is; I've been told OCD, GAD, and derealization but I don't fucking know. My anxiety can be either specific or non-specific.

That's because this guy had a reputation for being the most cunning motherfucker strategist in the whole of then-known world. It was a bluff.

Another tip I have for you guys is one I learned from Buddhism, focus on the moment

Don't think about yesterday, don't think about tomorrow

You live in the past and you will live in depression

You live in the future and you will live in anxiety

Live in the moment, if you want to talk to a girl, follow a three second rule. If you don't act on that impulse within three seconds you are a pussy and your genes will die.

Woman surveyed don't actually care about what you say and care about confidence, why do you think stupid guys can get hot girls

Attraction doesn't work like that, it's like an obese girl saying "but I'm smart"

If you aren't successful, you are living in the future, and you were too anxious about how she might react

I haven't had a friend to talk to in the past 11 years. I only talk to people at work about business stuff. This site is my only free time social interaction.

>tfw 23
>have barely any friends
>never be a Chad
>never get pretty gf

>Whenever I try to socialize there's always a voice in my mind
To clarify it's not a LITERAL voice but instead a "what-if" thought that pops into my mind and things spiral out of control from there. Really need to clear that up.

thats pretty lame desu

I thought it was pretty cool desu

>tfw I can have conversation with a whole bunch of strangers while shopping
>talk to a random girl every week
>h-h-h-have a good day
>dont have the courage to ask them out
>never see them again

>tfw have many acquaintances
>never had a single good friend
>never talked to someone for longer than 5 minutes

If I was able to delude/convince myself into thinking there is a potential for me to die tomorrow, no matter how unbelievably irrational or unlikely the thought, then the lizard brain will do ANYTHING to ensure I'm safe, whether it means constantly lingering on the thought or whatever.

>Not being the designated driver
>Protecting ur gains from haram alcohol
>Having full control of your wits around women

It's literally like shooting fish in a barrel.

disagree

theres a lot to be said about being able to open up to someone with fear of repercussion or embarrassment... the anonymity of this forum can be liberating in that way

being able to really articulate your insecurities and self-reflections can really help if you have someone to bounce these things off of

its all in what you make of it. even if y'all are really obese transvestite truckers, just giving some time and attention to people who dont get it in their daily lives is a bro move

I tried living in the moment for a few days, but quit when I woke up hung over with a shitty $10 disk from some acoustic guitar putz I'd listened to the night before. Never again.

I have trouble some when I don't really know somebody but if I know them well I can talk okay most of the time.

How do you continue conversations with people you don't know well/at all? I noticed this the other day in one of my University classes. We were put into groups and I noticed that the other three people in my group had endless things to talk about casually while I just occasionally would say something, and when I did it wasn't much.

It's also weird because I remember as a kid I would drift from "that kid who was really quiet" to "that kid who's super hyper and won't shut up"

I was actually ran over while in a crosswalk, only my leg was run over and it twisted all the way around.

If I was two feet forward I would be dead right now

Listen to me, TIME IS NOT GUARANTEED

I'm fearing someone coming into my house and murdering me over something I had done in the past. And not knowing that they had the intent to do so, so essentially I'm helpless in controlling my fate.

Is that just a generalized fear of death manifested as something oddly specific or what?

What were they talking about casually?

I can talk to people one one one fine, sometimes I'm even charming. When there are more than one other person I feel fucking worthless. I just can't connect to more than one person. There's no chemistry or whatever. They talk normally and I interject like a sperg and ruin the mood.

All I can remember was some food place from a city 2 hours away and maybe something about someone 2 of the 3 of them knew.

Maybe it would help if I had any idea about the topics they talked about. I just kind of stick to what I know and when I learn about new things it usually isn't that crazy different from what I usually like.

the best conversation or hour in my life was when i was in highschool missing class and just standing infront of a wall next to someone, we werent ever looking at eachother and there was no pressure in that. we were just looking down towards the field and it wasnt even anything gay as fuck like gossip or whatever it was just a nice conversation that made me feel human. it is pretty surreal to me now that i think about it

>23
>2 friends
>qt 3.14 gf

Could be worse desu

I was emotionally neglected as a kid. My biggest problem is I don't consider my problems real or my feelings legitimate and have very little internal worth.
I basically became a stoic at 9. was raised by a single mother who was busy looking after younger siblings so I raised myself.
Nobody ever asked how my day was, I ate alone and made all my own food and whenever I voiced my opinion on a something I would just be told to be quiet.
So I was. perpetually quiet. Video games and tv shows were the only things that made me happy and provided an escape. I associate people with bad feelings.

if they are good friends, thats all you need

>Could be worse

It sounds to me like they had natural chemistry with each other and you were just the odd duck out. I don't know why you would be discouraged by having less common ground with a bunch of strangers than they have with each other.

> i'm taking fitness advice from this autists.

>tfw fear of women because my sister is completely insane, like tried to kill my father insane
How the fuck do i overcome this shit? Im at university for engineering so i wont have much time and am feeling another sexless year go by

>23
>gf
>best friend was a betta fish
>he died today
>I spent all day crying
I'm not joking,I loved that little fucker

Yeah but tread lightly

Sorry to hear it. Do you ever consider talking to a therapist, or are you satisfied with being completely avoidant of people?

>tfw been browsing Veeky Forums since 11 years old
>tfw it was practically a surrogate parent to me and taught me some essential values my real parents didn't
In 50 years I'm going to look back on Veeky Forums as most people do that one uncle who always looked out for you and gave you advice.

>implying i have

I've been in a similar situation. I wish I could feel the ease I did then every time I talk to people now.

They are pretty chill dudes so I think you are right
It really could be user, this time last year I had nobody

nice trips

Do you own your own place? is this feasible if I live with my parents?

>Taking fitness advice from an anime image board

I went to a therapist for a while. Maybe it was a bad therapist but they didn't really help.
Also I didn't understand my life like I do now so maybe it's worth going again.

As far as other people go I'm fairly content in who I am. I'm naturally pretty introverted anyway so it doesn't bother me too much that I have minimal contact. I just don't know what I want from life.

>tfw naturally have father's normie, charimsatic, charming personality
>tfw was raised (mostly) by a schizoid, antisocial single mother
>tfw my entire childhood was my real personality clashing with the cold and aloof parenting of my mother
I would be fucking bitches on the regular if dad had raised me all the way through.

But you know what? I'm glad I was dealt this hand. Playing life on Challenge Mode is better than living unconsciously for your entire life and only realizing just how much you've fucked up at 30 years of age...... just like my father.

Tinder is bullshit and you probably wont meet wifey on it. Eventually you need to acquire the skill to chat up women user. Tinder exists so weak people can socialize and have romantic type stuff.

Playing life on challenge mode does indeed give you some insight into life that people who've never gone through any kind of trauma don't have.

The only problem is it's almost impossible to relate to those people. Everytime I hear a normie complaining about the most inane, trivial shit and everyone else going along with it, I can't help feeling my blood start to boil a bit.

But whatever. I guess they can't help it

>not realizing people with nothing else going on in their lives but fitness would give the best advice

It's like you're actually retarded

i'm just so fucking scared all the time guys

and the the spectre of another depressive episode is always hanging over me

the last time i had a depressive episode i nearly killed myself

i just can't do this shit anymore