That friend that keeps texting you if you don't reply right away

>That friend who texts you "hey" but waits for you to respond before going on with what he has to say

Why?

>that guy who goes to fucking sleep after he wakes you up with a text "dude" at 3AM in the morning

>friends

fucking normies get of my boar

REEEEEE

how is this fitness related ?

wtf i hate friends now

> that friend that talks shit about you on an indonesian shit stain drawing forum
> that friend that frogposts about you on the fitness board of said forum without relating it to fitness in any way

Sounds like he may be gay for you user. Would you go there?

Why don't you, y'know, call him out on his shit?
>Stop being a pussy bitch

How r u fitness related?
U faty.

>that friend that has no self awareness and is delusional about his life and constantly talks to you about how successful he is but what you see is the exact opposite

i know im lying to myself

let me live in delusion please, it's better than depression

>tfw you tick all these boxes

But only towards females of course. Alpha to males, Beta to females

Have we got the same friend, op?

>keeps saying how everyone is jealous of him despite him actually not having anything
>comes over constantly with no notification beforehand
>whinges about other people being narcissistic while unable to shut up about everything he has been up to recently
>says he is great at everything he does with no actual proof
>unable to see anything he does as wrong even if you call him out on his bullshit
>if you avoid and try to cut all contact with him or just ignore his bullshit while he is talking about himself again he doesn't seem to take the hint, seemingly because he couldn't fathom anyone not liking him

I fully believe that if you go out of your way to complain about this shit on Veeky Forums than you really should have dealt with the situation by now.

How long have you known him and why are you still friends with him? Are youo so lonely that losing this friend would turn your world upside down?

...

>are youo so lonely that losing this friend would turn your world upside down?

Almost. It wouldn't my turn world upside down. I just wouldn't have any friends. And the thing that makes this """friend""" special is that we grew up together and at least are already established with each other. Besides that sentimental part there is nothing else I care about.

>tfw no friends

I don't know man. You're on Veeky Forums so chances are you have actually picked up some weights, while he certainly hasn't. He is just a lanklet, constantly bringing up his height and the size of his cock.

He occasionally brings out how he is in great physical shape and working out is a stupid waste of time too.
Do you also browse reddit?

Seeing as you are similar though, I'd like to ask you a few questions.

All that behavior, do you do it ironically?
For a while I thought he was just messing with me and trying to see how gullible I was. Joke's on him since I don't actually give a fuck and ignore or laugh at his ramblings, since calling him out on anything doesn't seem to work at all.

Is all that just a facade and are you just really insecure?
How do you deal with the inconsistencies of your claims over a longer period of time? Do you just not realize the contradictions when you claim one thing is idiotic, then like or do it after a little while later for example.

>tfw you start to think that this is also what your only other friend thinks of you, but you are too blind to see it, so you ask them about it and they say "no" yet you still don't believe them because you think they are just too insecure to say it to your face

>keeping your phone near you when you sleep
>obeying your phone at 3AM

"b-but it's my alarm"

Alarm clocks do exist. They're not expensive and they don't run out of battery every 5 minutes so whenever you visit your friends, the first thing you do is hook your phone up to its charger and spending the remainder of the evening near the plug to text. Fuck you.

hey man f u

dont remind me

I'm a manlet at 5'5"
>big benis, average girth

To answer your questions:
I only browse Veeky Forums, no other social media. I don't even go to other boards (except/d/ to browse pron)

Yes all my behaviour is at least 60 layers deep in irony. I become the character I'm mocking and my life thus becomes a literal joke. I start using terms ironically and even doing ironic actions. Sometimes my autistic humour gets confused with genuine egotism, I find myself explicitly having to stop and tell people I'm joking.

Yes, I am really really insecure so I mock everyone else.

I often deliberately make my arguments/character on inconsistencies, because it's supposed to be one big joke, but I live as a joke so long I really start becoming the irony.

I will claim something is stupid, mock it ironically for a while and eventually start doing it by default. I'm still joking I'm just serious about kidding.

I'm like one of those actors who puts so much effort into their character they actually start getting traits from who they're pretending to be.

It's all a joke no matter how obnoxious and real I may seem. I often try to talk in a way to show I'm messing around, but because I'm joking so much, nobody can tell the difference.

I think I do it so I don't think about how flawed my real character is.

I always say depends. If it ain't worth my time, it ain't worth my time.