It's story time. I don't even care if no-one reads. I need to tell someone

Not trying to be an asshole or anything, but for future reference it is "piqued".

actually thank you, I never knew it was piqued, but go on OP

WINCEST
N
C
E
S
T

I thank you now I won't look like as much of a dumbass in the future

>fast forward 3 years
>sophmore in college
>decent physique and good strength gains
>I bulk, cut, do cardio every other day and still lift religiously
>still play a lot of vidya but not a virgin anymore
>walking to class one day and see the sighn outside the campus recruiters office
>advertises money for college
>fuckitcanthurt.jpg
>national guard benefits dawn near pay for the rest of my tuition
>2 weeks later some old man is spreading my asshole and fondling my balls for a physical at meps
>ass whole good
>halls good
>havnt smoked in 2 weeks
>piss is good
>user is evolving
>user evolved into private first class user
>going to basic training next summer
>excited but scared shitless
>still lifting and geting stronger
>need to work on my back but other than that still making gains
>at this point I can squat lmao4pl8s and bench 3
>ship date arrives
>why hello drill sergeant

Cont

fcking cont op

fuck off

isn't summer over yet?

what the fuck is it with you fucking faggots tripfagging? what for? what's the point? don't you understand there's a reason we're all anonymous here? You need to stop this bullshit or move out to reddit, srs

>mfw someone remembers a greentext i posted well over a year ago

Write up the fucking story before you post it.

Hol' up

What are you on about this shit was all over Veeky Forums for months before summer

MOAR

This guy's a great big phony

Posting on my phone, sorry for going slow it also auto corrects in retarded ways

Anyway back to the story

>basic sucks ass but most people here are Pillsbury doughboys
>I'm pretty fit and have a leg up on other privates
>I get a good pt score, 267 on my first test. Good but not great
>get put into squad leader position solely on pt scores. Drill sgts don't know us well enough to pick on the basis of anthing else yet
>so most privates arnt perfectly fit and most arnt the smartest but one guy in particular
>this one fucking guy
>we'll call him private Pyle because that's essentially who he is
>he is terrible and I mean fucking terrible at everything
>to give you a taste of this kid. One day entire plattoon is taking showers and when Pyle takes his uniform off there is a watery shit streak all down his pant leg
>pls not my squad
> he's my squad

Brb cooking some food

>marshmellow
why can no one spell this right

its marshmallow you inbred piece of shit

>fucking newfags
try years

...

>well over a year
i would know, i literally posted it

>mfw I can only shitpost 18 hours a day instead of 24 because summer is over

Sorry back
>pvt Pyle gets us smoked a lot
Thats "corrective action for you civilians
>pvt pyle gets picked on a lot for being easy pickings and getting us smoked
>I'm nice to Pyle because I see myself in him, I don't do much to defend him tho because im afraid of being an outcast too
>drill sgnts think I'm a decent squad leader with a good head on my shoulders
>most of my squad gets along and I've made two really good friends, sorta think of them as my liutenants.
>bro 1 comes from a military family, hes really hooah
>bro 2 is more of an introvert but is willing and able
>one day my favorite drill sgnt (he's an ex ranger, 5'4 but all muscle) tells us about the confidence course tomorrow
>its a squad based obstacle course and drill sgnt wants to make things interesting
>squad that comes in first has no fireguard for a week, squad that comes last has to pick up slack (fireguard is when two privates wake up for an hour a night and make sure everyone is in their bunks)
>he was my favorite drill sgnt for a reason

I'm here OP keep going

I'm lurking too, very interested in the story.

I'm joining the army soon and this is getting good
pls cont

lurking

You here OP?

Pls continue

Sorry its taking so long my phone keeps fucking up. This is the third time I've rewritten this part

>confidence course rolls around
>kek I have no idea what I'm doing
>climbing walls, ropes course, dealing with casualty, army shit etc
>I do much of the physical exertion as I'm one of the most athletic
>not all tho, bro 1 and 2 are proactive
>2 comes up with creative ideas to scale obstacles
>I delegate responsibilities among the squad
>holy shit theyre listening
>pvt Pyle begins lagging behind as the day wares on tho
>he slows down with more obstacles
>squad begins to verbally shit on him
>Pyle is inept af at defending himself
>I'm used to this at this point
>cohesivness breaks down when things start to fuck up
>tell everyone to stfu
>try to rally squad
>we can still win if we focus and don't waste time pointing fingers
>we finish in third place when we probably could have win without Pyle
>whatevs we didn't come in last so business as usual

More coming soon

>being this new
>being this much of an insufferable faggot
uninstall pls

Lurking op

How long were you away?

>fast forward to second pt test
>Pyle still shit
>can't knock out a measly 42 pushups in 2 minutes and his 2 mile run is over 19 minutes
>Pyle still gets picked on because easy target
>I don't get involved cuz peer pressure
>I start doing extra pt every night with Pyle to help him get there
>i pity him for how much he gets shit
>drill sgnts decide for every pvt that does not pass pt test we'll all conduct corrective action
>hear in the bay that night about conducting a blanket party on pvts that can't pass
If you don't know what a blanket party is its what happens to private Pyle in full metal jacket
>still don't intefere
>meh just talk
>third test rolls around
>Pyle is the only one of the few in our plattoon to not pass the third
>hear in the barracks before bed pvts actually planning on doing it and getting locks and soaps ready with locks
>fuck it I'm not gonna let this happen
>tell everyone in platoon that if Pyle gets fucked up the're fucking with me too
>I don't know how to fight at all but I'm big and they don't know that
>next morning business as usual nothing happened to pyle

It was somewhere around this point that I realised how fucking far I've come.
I've grown strong physically. my peers actually respect me and I've proven myself as a leader. Holy shit I even just protected the weak from evil.

>mfw I'm a fucking paladin
Story almost done

>it's another one post greentext story stretched out over ten posts because OP is a faggot

This story is actually good tho fuck off m8

>>can't knock out a measly 42 pushups in 2 minutes and his 2 mile run is over 19 minutes
The fuck? I'm a crossboarding fatass and even I can do that.

>defending your own story on an anonymous chinese cartoon board

I'm not also nice trips

>morning pt is extra hard for the be t few weeks because of failures on the test
>still working with pyle every night
>its my mission to get him to graduate
>Pyle is greatful and close to passing
>by this point we both know each other pretty well
>I liked the guy but my god I've never met anyone this incompetent
>he was ugly, stupid, and smelled bad but I was going to be god damned if he didn't pass his pt test
>he also aparently had a gf waiting for him when he got out of basic which I found hard to believe (i later found out that it was really just some girl he had hung out with a couple times)
>third test rolls around
>Godspeed pvt Pyle Godspeed
>Pyle gets 45 pushups and 57 situps
>now just for the two mile
>waiting at the finish for him
>runyoufatfuck.gif
>motherfucker maneges to finish his two mile with a 16:15. shit, but passing
>at graduation two weeks late Pyle stands in dress blues, thanks me and shakes my hand

And that was how I became a paladin

god bless your efforts OP, you are true paladin.
Look after those who have no-one else.
*manly tears*

wtf i hate greentext now

OP is a true bro.
Always use your powers for good, never evil.

POST BODY HOLY WARRIOR

what the fuck does that prove? you didnt reply directly to your own posts, so obviously it wont have a (You)

what an underwhelming, poorly written ending

3/10

Holy shit my feels just become so heavy pls dont be a troll.

...

This was a cozy story, good thread OP. Nothing really dramatic or climactic like I thought there'd be starting out, just a nice lil story.

nice OP
good on you, you bink stronk pally

This story is useless if you don't post your current bod op.

This thread will become drastically more memeorable if you post ur bod op but I liked your story. Comfy comment is accurate

grats you forced a reject through a process designed to remove them.

well done, pvt Bailey.

Op is real pollydin

gg wp

waiiiitt i did miss a greentext season on fit/? cmooon does it worth a read? been long time since i saw one desu we need more of stories

godspeed you holy knight, but u kinda hyped up your own body in the story so pics or it didnt happen, lets see that chiseled body, OP!

1234 in 1 year? startingfrom scrath? this common?

You're a good guy OP. Boring as fuck story tbqh but I can see why it means something to you. Well done bro. Just don't bother Veeky Forums with shit like this in future.

please feel free to be an asshole when justified, as in cases like this

you were a real man

we need more men like you, man

You ducking clown. Fuck off if you don't like it.

Fuck you. How can you call yourself a paladin?

First, you started off your tale of chivalry with 'lel, have a load of this fat pathetic fuck':
>to give you a taste of this kid. One day entire plattoon is taking showers and when Pyle takes his uniform off there is a watery shit streak all down his pant leg
>(i later found out that it was really just some girl he had hung out with a few times)
...and then go on about how you "protected" him? Shit, that second quote is even from AFTER you first bring up this "actually being a paladin" nonsense. What part of "Fat fuck shat himself in the showers, kek" or "Faggot thought he had a girlfriend but it was really just some chick" is honorable? You didn't even bother to give him a neutral name, instead choosing to take ANOTHER dig at the guy: "Pyle"!

You can't have it both ways! You even admit that "peer pressure" kept you from standing up for him in the beginning. Peer pressure is the LEAST of a paladin's worries! You were complicit in his initial abuse, and apparently didn't feel bad at all about continuing it in your Veeky Forums story, and we're supposed to buy that you were the one who had his back? You don't even mention what you did to actually help him other than take the heat for his blanket party. For all we know you didn't so much as spot for the guy! This entire overwrought story smacks of narcissism -- the unwarranted and irrelevant backstory, the self-aggrandizing, the casual willingness to ignore contradictory elements of your own savior narrative, the utter lack of critical introspection.

You don't comport yourself like a paladin, and even if we took you on faith for committing one good act, it's a stretch to say that it constitutes paladinhood. Even if it did, for your casual and unwarranted cruelty here, you would deserve to Fall. What kind of paladin belittles and mocks those he protects? A true paladin protects and uplifts the weak. You're a coward, a braggart, and a scoundrel! You make me sick!

it's called lawful good, not lawful 'nice' you fgt

Nerd

Fuckin kek

Lawful? Good?
I see here a man who cares not for those he "protects" but for the glory they can win him, for example by posting a long and dull story on Veeky Forums about how his cousin's friend totally squeezed his muscles when he was 14, how his family bought him a set of weights, how he graciously "defended" a pathetic man from abuse and made sure to emphasize just how pathetic the man was! Placing self-interest and the thirst for glory above the barest respect for others is surely an evil act.
I see here a man who calls himself a protector of the weak, who defended someone from mockery and threats only to mock them in turn. Such an act of betrayal can only be described as chaotic.

I know from what I see that this man is neither Lawful, nor Good.

>It's not lawful nice
Can one be a paladin who disrespects the meek, those whom he ought to thank, the ones he lives, fights, and dies for? It is unthinkable! One who does not disparages and belittles those he is supposed to serve can only be the foulest of villains, a pretender!

Cool story bro.
Too bad you're in the National Guard, poser

There's a reason that the "prideful paladin" is a trope, user.
Not all paladins are humble, not all Orders venerate humility. Even then admitting that the weak and pathetic are indeed weak and pathetic, but protecting them anyways, is perfectly humble and acceptable paladin behaviour.
As is allowing others to their own opinion and behaviour as long as they don't go overboard.

>Even then admitting that the weak and pathetic are indeed weak and pathetic, but protecting them anyways, is perfectly humble and acceptable paladin behaviour.
user went far further than just calling Pyle weak enough to need protection, though. He outright insulted the guy, multiple times, and expected us to buy that he helped the guy out of the goodness of his heart or whatever. I would call into question again the idea that user somehow helped the guy other than neutralizing the possible threat of a blanket party: user didn't mention helping Pyle actually train for the test or anything, he just told some guys to leave him alone.

The story is nothing more than user gloating about what a great person he is for being nice to that other fellow, who, user assures us, was totally shitty and worthless anyway. He's attentionwhoring, spouting off about what a great guy he is because he exercised basic decency towards some poor soul and told his buddies not to beat the fucker up. That's barely praiseworthy, let alone worth boasting about being a paladin over.