Veeky Forums autism thread

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that was alpha as fuck tbqh

>social retard in hs
>get fit senior year
>serious case of oneitis for this qt friend since freshman year
>last day of school movies on and i am laying under the desk next to crush
>"user, you have changed a lot. What would you do if I kissed you right now?
>initiate sperg defense
>"a--ask what was wrong with you?"
>she looks hurt I get up really quick to use the "use the bathroom"
>hit head on desk in my haste
>book it to car and skip rest of school
>weep inside the entire way home
still haunts me.

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Oh god.

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>Be me, 6'0, 145lbs lanklet with a nice face
>Yesterday
>Going out of the gym, omw to uni to play basketball with my friends
>Take bus
>Real short qt3.14 10/10 for me, 8/10 global
>Both standing bc bus full
>Two seats next to each other become free
>I go and take one, and she sits besides me
>The mutual mirin' continues, she kinda lets her arm rest against mine
>I call a friend "to check on him going too", actually just a bullshit reason for her to listen to my voice because it's deep as hell
>She mires harder, I mire back
>She's making it kinda obvious with body language she wants me to speak to her
>I tell myself I will later
>Eventually she is signing off she is getting off with two blocks of anticipation, I still do nothing
>"I will get off when she does and ask for her number, I don't mind paying the fare again"
>She gets off
>I don't
>I am regretting not doing it every second after.

I don't think I will ever make it brahs

>senior year
>sitting in library doing some assignment with qt
>qt looks at me
>qt is still looking at me
>asks if i dont wanna kiss her
>w-what?
>dont you wanna kiss me?
>n-no lets get this done
>okay.....

she tried so hard to fuck me and i kept spaghetti dropping everywhere

>first day at brand new uni
>wake up early to workout for pre class pump
>head to organic chem
>walk in 15 people qts errywere, only 3 other dudes
>pop a squat next to a cute blonde
>take out my notes and preprinted syllabus
>teacher introduces self and course
>forensic chemistry
>ohfuck.jpg
>teacher calls role
>"did i miss anyone?"
>panic mode
>too autistic to move and admit my mistake
>sit in class for 20 minutes prof keeps looking at me
>she can sense it
>"What was your name and major user?"
>panic freeze, cant talk
>10 seconds of silence
>everyones staring
>"Are you in the right class?"
>"no"
>"why didnt you say anything?"
>"i dont know"
>get up to leave
>snatch backpack to get the fuck out of there
>i left it open
>everything falls out
>fifty fucking pencils
>fuckit.wav
>powerwalk out of class
>mfw i gave everyone a free pencil

the problem for these guys is that they think that if they fuck it up once they cant fix it

which is blatantly untrue, if a girl has her coochie wet for you once she has it wet at all times (untill she was terribly drunk back then) so its all fixable

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reading this shit makes me want to kill myself

user you could've just said it sounded interesting or something, holly fuck.

Autism is a choice. Fight me

nice man. shes not worth a raincheck anyway. not autistic at all proud of you.

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Thank you 4 dump :-)

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The amount of times i've done this kinda shit is unnerving. Mutual attraction takes place and I tell myself i'll do something about it but I just don't

kek

For you.

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>mfw I never had stories like that
>either because im unatractive
>or because im so autistic I dont even know

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Actually kinda alpha desu.

>be me
>18 yrs old
>I find out friend is my neighbor
>6.5/10, good personality
>literally a few houses away
>Wants to go and watch spidder man movie
>tfw no money, she said she'll pay
>We walk to movies
>friend keeps trying to move her head on my shoulder, I avoid
>Movie was cool, qt emma stone
>We walk back home and it gets cold
>She asks for my jacket 5x
>Awkwardly say no, should've brought own
>Walk her home
>Next day
>See her on social media feed
>Tweets and tells her friend who puts the "guy" on blast to never decline to give a girl a jacket when she's cold
>proceed to kms
>also forgot to thank her on paying me. autism.

That was my point.

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stonewalled that sloot.

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Happend yesterday
>at a bar with my bros
>spot a qt
>tell my bros that u think she looks good
>"fuck it, imma talk to her"
>stand next to her on the bar
>say nothing, order my drink and get back to my bros
>all looking smug at me
>not this time autism
>actually get up again
>introduce myself and talk a bit
>"to be honest, you're the first girl i chatted up like that in a bar."
>"haha, sure user, i bet you tell that to all girls."
>her friend is makeing her leave to go on the dancefloor
>she later leaves
>see her again at the bus station
>she is with some dude who also was at the club earlier, he says goodbye
>she sees me and tries to avoid eye contact, we actually take the same bus
>during the whole ride she awkwardly stares out of the bus window to avoid eye contact with me

Felt bad, but atleast i actually did it and talked to her.

You're gonna make it bro.

Instead of remembering the awkwardness on the bus, remember going up and talking to her. Your story is a victory, not a defeat.

so refreshing to see, thanks for the auttism cleanse

R8 my autism
>drunk edition

God you're helpless

3/5 Estonia/Latvia

>goodtogo24/7

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>get on bus
>only seat available is beside 2 qts
>getting closer to my stop
>ask them if they know where the pizza place is
>i lived here for 9 years
>they tell me and luckily it was off near their stop
>they start heading off in the opposite direction
>i ask if they want to get some pizza and ill pay
>they both agree
>have nothing to say the entire time were there
>terribly socially awkward and ask random abrupt questions every minute or so that always ends quickly
>they both are looking at their phones while i sit there eating pizza in awkawrd silence desperately trying to come up with my next question
>eventually they say they have to head home without me finishing and they get up and leave
>finish pizza and get home
>the next day i am taking the same bus
>see one of the girls
>i quickly close my eyes and pretend that im passed out drunk in the back of the bus
>wait until the very end of my bus ride >completely passed my house
>never take the only bus that goes to my home again

kys my man hehe xd

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oh boy

kek'd

At least you tried.

>Be at gym
>Just finish up heavy skwaats
>Rerack weight and notice 10/10 hbb set her stuff down in the rack next to mine
>Start doing RDLs and notice her hitting ATG squats, caught me mirin
>We lock eyes like 5 times in 15 minutes
>Grab my shit and start doing other accessories
>Catch her watching me like 20 times
>fuckwhatdoido.jpg
>Finish my cardio and leave gym
>Never see her ever again

Really blew that one.

not necessarily thread related but anyone have that story where the guy spilled his spaghetti talking with a girl at the gym and ended up taking dick in the showers?

I'll contribute

>party last night
>5 story building, party is in the "penthouse" which is really just the top floor
>has a door leading to a porch outside on top of the roof
>qt 3.14 sitting on the rail
>start chatting her up, no idea what I said but I must have had a silver tongue
>next thing I know her legs are around me as I stand there and we make out
>hands me her phone so I can give her my number
>try to pass it around her back to my dominant hand so I can type as we make out
>drop the phone
>she flips shit
> makes me go get it
>get her phone back and she storms off
Fucking hell lads

I wouldn't count that as autism, user.

I laugh at these stories but feel as though I would do the same things if they happened to me

What happened here?

That actually sounds like a pretty good friendship

It isn't autism but he dun goofed

>two years back
>friend stole the key to the weight room from a pe teacher
>sneak out there at night whenever i miss a lift day
>walk right through a party
>try not to get noticed
>girl sees me
>seperates herself from her clump
>walk faster
>she jogs over and introduces herself
>8/10
>"hi im chisty"
>uh huh
>"whats you name"
>user
>"you go here?"
>uh huh
>shes not letting up
>"come walk with us! The party's moving that way!"
>uh huh
>unlock the door
>open it
>"WOAH, that is HELLA SCETCH!"
>uh huh
>lock the door behind me
>lift

Yup
>tinder
>actually get a match
>delete the app on the spot

>be me, freshman year of hs
>inexplicably attract this 8/10 tall arabian qt
>flirting with her throughout the year but don't take it seriously
>think "oh she's just a friend lol"
>one day I wore a suit and tie to school for baseball tourney the next day
>I enter the class and she immediately looks up and says "Wow user, you're hot!" in front of everyone
>"..th-thanks"
>another time
>randomly asks me for a hug after I got a cold
>"sorry, I can't. I'm sick lol. maybe later"
>"awww. come onnn!"
>"nope"
>she continues to ask at least twice a week for a month until my cold goes away
>final time
>find out she's moving at the end of the year
>we're in parking lot on the last day talking after returning textbooks
>"I'll miss you user. I cried last night when I thought about leaving"
>think thats weird for her to mention as I smile and say "I didn't"
>replay what I just said in my mind
>wait that's not the right response
>I look at her face and she's shocked
>give her a stiff hug and powerwalk away, never see her again

I've never had a girl show interest like she did again. Yeah she was moving but by God her body and personality were something else, I just didn't catch on

True just go look at the thread about the nig that fucked up his dick

I was a cocoon for 4 years. Painfully accurate

whats a rain check?
do you people tip the weather?

makes me kek everytime

that's not that bad. You could have made it if not for the girl's friend.

>tfw quick game for a quick kiss

Holy shit tiptopkek

IF true funniest shit ever

>be me in 7th grade
>had total crush on this one girl for like 2 years now
>we hangout after school pretty much every day for the past year
>she laughs at my stupid jokes
>one day sitting in hall by lockers talking
>user, i like you
>autismkickingin.jpg
>HAHA YEA WELL I THINK I'VE GOTTA GO HAHA
>just walk outside where parents sometimes pick up kids after bus left
>wait for 10 minutes
>see her walking by the window
>see her notice me and make confused face
>don't talk to her for another week
I'm sorry Gabrielle

It's ok user, that was middle school.

Last night.
>be me
>uni student and cyclebro
>cycling home after 40km ride
>10pm starts raining hard, I don't mind it
>see person on bike under tree hiding from the rain
>circle back and ask if they are ok
> it's a qt grill
>chat for a few minutes, find out she lives one block from me
>our routes home are exactly the same for the next 3km
>QT:"we should hang out sometime"
>ME:"that would be great, maybe I'll see you around"
>use over-proportioned quadriceps to power away and leave her in the dust

Two night ago

>be me
>cyclebro headed home after uni
> last km is up very steep hill on which there is a small flat section where I rest for ~30 seconds
>stop for break, breathing heavily, external pump acquired, quads glistening under the street lamp
>see a qt walking her dog towards me
>seen her checking me out before while headed to/from uni
>she smiles and makes some comment directed at me
>don't hear what she said since I had headphones in
>decide not to take headphones out and respond
>speed away and use massive quads to power up hill and away from qt
>black headphones with black shirt, she probably thought I ignored her.

I've had bigger spergs

i love you guys

YOU COULD BE BANGING THEM RIGHT NOW

RIGHT FUCKING NOW

>just moved into a new house with housemates.
>we decide to go out to the clubs
>housemate invites a few more people including a good mate of his and a 8.9472/10 American chick he showed up with
>we all have a good time and leave to walk home
>chicks place is in a different direction than the rest of us and the guy she came with was pretty wasted so I said I went with her to make sure she got home alright.
>while walking she takes my arms and leans in close, asking lots of questions about me
>when we get there she says something like 'thanks for walking me back...guess I should go in' while still lingering and holding onto my arm and giving me the eyes
>figure I shouldn't make a move because she's with my housemates friend and has been drinking
>untangle myself, say she's welcome for the escort and walk home.

She left to go home to America a couple of days later.
Found out later, when I told my housemate, that she wasn't that guys gf, they just came in the same car.

I'm still a kissless virgin

At least your heart was on the right place user.

>be 17 or so
>chick starts talking to me on fb
>says 'you should come over today'
>then says 'btw i want to have sex with you'
>i say 'i dont really feel like having sex today but ill come over anyway'
>go over
>her house smells like dog food
>get on her bed and lay there (without touching) and watch that movie Click with adam sandler
>movie finishes and i leave
>never talk to her again

>me beta fuccboi
>walk into ochm
>introduce self
>notice I'm the only guy with at least 10 qt's
>never hit on any of them

had 3 of them hit on me and one of them was the qt. It was the only time I ever felt alpha, I just want another science class full of girls

>she literally told you

another one, this one is recent

>having a party at my house
>housemate brings her cute friend over, she's like 28 and actually successful
>go in room and watch some movie with a few people and cute girl
>it's really cold and we are all huddled around this heater
>she comes over and sits on my lap next to the heater
>everyone sorta leaves and its just us two in the room
>sitting there, sorta playing with each other's hands
>awkward as fuck
>say 'wanna go outside?'
>go outside and immediately get stuck talking to some guy about russian lit
>she leaves without saying bye
>think about her all the time for the next month