Dick problems

hospital you stupid fuck, unless you want to lose your dick.

Who exactly should I call?

You should go to the ER.

Yeah that's really bad.
Go see a doctor

So to be sure, I gotta call 911.

Either suffer through the embarrassment and go to the ER or have it amputated a week from now.

What the hell go to the emergency room right now

Holy shit, go to the doctor m8 LMAO

Alright, thanks guys.

Go to hospital. Jesus.

You're supposed to reduce the sensitivity and stretch the foreskin.
Did that and my uncut dick is perfectly fine.

deliver after story OP

Holy shit are you okay? Go to ER.

You have phimosis. I used to have the same thing but i sort of fixed it.
Since the foreskin is "stuck" you shouldve seen a doctor a long tine ago. Go see a doctor ASAP.

Just drive there faggot. Have your mum drive you there.

He has phimosis. Rolling it back and forward is like putting your dick through a ring.

HAHAHA NIGGA I THOUGHT YOU PHOTOSHOPPED TWO HEADS ON YOUR DICK LMFAOOOO

happens to me too sometimes. use lube

just massage that shit, keep rolling the skin back and forth
doesn't look too serious
then again I've never had any problem with foreskin issues
for god's sake don't call 911
if you really can't fix this yourself with some hot water, lube and slow massaging then just go to the hospital like everyone else is saying

ok I take it back THAT has never happened to me dear God HOSPITAL

Yeah senpai that's what I've gotten a few times, usually I apply some cold water and try to ease it back in, but yours looks pretty severe.

jesus christ user

HOLY FUCK

I remember the first time this happened and i was 15. It was worse than this and I was diamonds when it happened but i still pulled it back. Not gonna lie i did panic a bit and considered cutting it off.

Uncut fags - 0
Cut fags - 1

I legit had this problem. I rolled it back, then practiced pulling it back slowly over periods of time till it got used to it and now my penis is fine and I clean it out regularly. Kind of annoying that I got all the way to 16 without someone telling me or figurin it out on my own. In the end, you're better off uncut, just make sure to pull it all the way back and clean it throughly.

You should get circumcised. Not even trolling. That's what i did and my sex life is much more enjoyable

How would phimosisfags survive in nature? I fixed mine thanks to the internet but how would soneone before the industrial revolution even breed? Seems like they just stick their dick in and get their foreskin caught. How did this gene pass on?

Oh shit, it's worse than I thought. Seriously consider circumcision

Is OP kill?

dude i had tight foreskin when i was like 5 years old. i had to wash my dick everyday with soap and it fixed itself now my dick is perfect

ur dick sounds retarded

Is this what the uncut fags brag about?
Shaking my head to be honest famalam

Go to the doctor before its too late

HAHAHAHAHA

How do retards like you get to adulthood without even once trying to pull your foreskin all the way back? I mean what the fuck man? At no point in your younger years did you ever once think to yourself that maybe you should try pulling on your foreskin? Its supposed to fucking move. If you keep pulling on it from an early age then in a matter of weeks it becomes fully mobile and can retract so far as to resemble a circumcised penis. How did you even get to this age without pulling it back?

do SS+GOMAD your gonna b fine brah

>yfw OP is underage
>yfw party van outside

medfag reporting:
Paraphimosis, you can try squeezing your dick untill the swelling goes away, and then pull the skin back in place, might need surgery at some point. good luck faggot

>can result in gangrene
OP don't lose your dick go to the hospital

You're not dying.
Don't call 911. Drive to the ER

>Be me, have loving family, and two daughters
>Getting home from work
>I can finally spend time with the family
>drive home to see my house is surrounded by the police
>they tell me my whole family has been murdered
>"They tried calling 911, but all the operators were busy, some guy called about his foreskin being stuck"
>mfw my whole family is dead because some guy called 911 about his foreskin

Called the non emergency number. Currentlyrics have an ice pack on my shaft waiting for the swelling to go down.

Circumcise your fucking kids lol.

> Circumcise your fucking kids lol.

Ahh yes, I wonder who could be behind this post

godspeed with you OP

holy fuck, didn't think it was this bad. Go to the hospital, dude.

yeah, or just teach them to pull back their foreskin while they still can and not wait until they have sex ffs

Do you want me to post another pic of my dick in this hospital bed cause I deadass will

sounds like you already want to, so go ahead faggot.

>be me
>8 year old child
>my neighbor Mr. Poole invites me over to play cave explorer
>he leads me down to his basement, locking the door behind him
>gives me some candy laced with a drug that makes me pass out, while still conscious
>proceeds to fuck me in the ass for 7 hours after snorting cocaine
>beats me and hits me as we have sex
>the next several hours are nothing but pain, confusion, tears, and Mr Poole repeatedly yelling what sounds like "I'll show them cheese pizza"
>suddenly the door is kicked open
>my father comes down with a shotgun and proceeds to beat the shit out of Mr Poole with the butt of the gun
>at this point I'm bleeding out from my rectum, barely conscious and in bad condition
>dad carries me crying up the stairs and outside into the cool night air while calling 911
>keeps me awake, tells me that the ambulance will be here soon, that everything will be ok
>sirens fade into my hearing, lights become brighter and the ambulance appears
>"OH THANK GOD YOURE HERE PLEASE HELP MY SON IS REALLY WEAK RIGHT NOW AN-"
>ambulance passes us and pulls into the driveway of the next house
>paramedics hop out and run in with a gurney
>wheel out this fat NEET screaming with a deformed mushroom attached to his hips
>paramedic comes up and explains to us that we only have one ambulance in our small town
>this guy called first about his foreskin and how he needs an emergency circumcision
>tell us they'll come back after they take him to the hospital 30 miles away
>the ambulance drives away as I fade into the abyss

I wonder how retarded you have to be for this to happen to you. Something so easily remedied without surgery or emergency care. Too pussy to pull it back.

You never once take proper care of your shit, and then it results in catastrophic failure.

If only you were forced to suffer the consequences of your actions.

Have you ever considered that my parents never told me shit about this stuff

>circumcised men have less pleasure

still entirely your fault

They probably didn't realize their son was a retard that had to be told how his dick works beyond normal sex-ed

Private high school, no sex ed

>I was circumcised as a preventative measure as an infant because of retards like this
Holy fuck kill yourself, it's because of stupid fucking mongoloids like you that most of America thinks that this is what happens to anyone who doesn't get their fucking foreskin cut off at birth

They do though.

And people still believe neonatal circumcision Is a bad thing. Remember, if your son is uncut, you're doing him and women a disservice.

Holy shit thats terrifying

...

look at OP's picture and tell me if that looks more pleasurable

...

What's that bubble there

youtu.be/vzRuKnb2uuY?t=1m34s

That girl just circumcised you

rip.

turtlecocks in charge of having healthy dicks

>smell
>dick cheese
>ugly as fuck
>turn into tumors

I'm out guys, I'll post a pic when I can

You were lucky it didn't cut the blood off in your pee pee.

i dont even understand what happened here. how is foreskin "not in place" what the fuck does that even mean.

I'm lucky that my dick was huge enough to even give me such a problem, faggot.

Lad.

It's a second glans.

It probably means you had a twin when you were only a scoop of sperm + egg cell, you later absobed the twin and the second glans is the twin glans.

Maybe there is other part of your body from your twin, your are litteraly not alone in your body.

You are a chimera user.

A fucking mutant.

Take it from me, you have a pee pee, i have a shlong.

Next time try to get the bird wet before you ram the pee pee in.

i have tight foreskin issues as well in that my foreskin gets too tight when i have an erection it like squeezes my head.

can post a pic but don't think i should

Dude, what the fuck your dick is not fucking normal.

Did you live your whole life thinking this was the norm???

Anyone gaf about seeing it kinda fixed?

Idiot, you're the one that's deformed and looks like you had your dick dipped in acid. Without the swelling it looks like a normal dick.

OP you have something called paraphimosis. what you need to do is squeeze the glans until the blood goes away and slip the foreskin back over, it might be easier to do in the shower.

...

So did he die?

Nervous kek

you got dubs on your dick

>How did this gene pass on?
Pretty sure everyone has it user

Kek. What would this thread be without a conclusion?

Paraphimosis.

Here is how it can be treated.

>Gentle compression with a saline-soaked swab followed by reduction of the prepuce over the glans is usually successful.

>Gradual manual reduction of the prepuce over the glans is done by placing both index fingers on the dorsal border of the penis and thumbs on the glans. The glans is pushed back while the index fingers pull the prepuce back over the glans.

>This technique can be facilitated by trying to achieve reduction of swelling first. Ice may be applied. Manual compression is achieved by asking the patient to squeeze the glans for anything from 5 to 30 minutes. Osmotic reduction involves application of a swab soaked in 50% dextrose to the swollen area for an hour.

>If simple methods fail then refer urgently to a urologist.

>Alternatives include multiple punctures in the oedematous foreskin or injection of hyaluronidase prior to compression reduction. General anaesthesia may be required.

>If local anaesthetic is required it must not contain adrenaline (epinephrine).

>Dorsal incision is occasionally required.

>There is no consensus regarding circumcision after paraphimosis. Some authorities maintain that since the foreskin continues to develop normally after reduction this should not be necessary.[4] However, if dorsal incision is required, circumcision is sometimes advocated.[5]

patient.info/doctor/phimosis-and-paraphimosis

You don't need to get circumcised just because this happened but you may be a good candidate for preputioplasty. That would allow your foreskin to just slide back and forth easily and stuff like this would no longer be an issue.

For the record, I'm circumcised. I've had tons of problems resulting from it, so it's not just uncut guys who can get issues with their dicks...pretty much all the problems I have with my penis are ultimately a result of infant circumcision.

Tight foreskin is normal in a 5 year old. The median age the foreskin becomes retractible is around 10.

Before then it's usually fused to the head of the penis as one structure and the opening is tiny.

Might want to look into the Novoglan device. I've never used it but a lot of people say it had great results.

It's a registered medical device and looks pretty safe. Kind of expensive for what it is tho.

Me.

I hope OP got to the doctor and got it fixed.

Props if they fixed it without mutilating him.