Have to take a shit halfway through the workout

I can't shit in public toilets.

Nah i'm just an amateur shitter, i don't do that powershitting stuff.
I split every shit i do into 5 sets, i heard it's better for gains that way.

tfw ur halfway through your squat sets and you have to go to the toilet then when you get back all your intensity is gone

feelwithme

>I can't shit in public toilets.
Jesus; dyels, I swear. I bet you don't even use the asshole dewrinkler because you're so fucking self-conscious.

Squeeze your ass together and force the shit back up where it belongs
t. Soldier who's often had to go a week without shitting

Stench on the bench

greentext please

Always eat a banana before workouts end up dropping the dirtiest farts while on the way up in squats

Not much to say really, when on exercises and on real operations, we weren't allowed to just bury our shit, we'd have to shit in a bag and carry it around in our backpacks. I decided to just not shit.
Funny thing, though, is how you don't shit more when you finally let it go. It's just a lot more dense.

I never shit in a public restroom as long as I've lived.

>need to shit at the gym
>forgot my poop scissors at home

>put hole in basketball shorts
>do squats with bucket underneath
what's the problem?

>Take one shit a day every day in the morning
Who has the best poo schedule here? Feels good.

Drink coffee 2 hours before and enjoy the purification

I'm so alpha that when I need to shit I let out huffs and puffs and strain my asshole until I explode on the toilet. You should hear the beta dyels inhale my protien gas. Shits cash.

>walk 15 feet to my garage door
>Walk inside
>Go to bathroom
>take a shit
>Go to kitchen
>Grab shake/sandwich/pizza
>Go back to lifting and eating in my underwear, scratch my ass, fart, scream on hard lifts, and blast finnish metal
>Walk outside and stare at the stars in between sets
>Finish lifting
>Walk downstairs to my steam room
>Pop a dip in
>Have a cheeky wank
>Finish up and massage myself
>Exit shower
>Walk around naked
>Foam roll and stretch naked
>Go to bed 30 feet away from my gym
Who here joined the masterrace?

>when you take a shit between sets because it got so bad and the toilet paper gets all sweaty and soggy so it's hard to wipe properly

Why couldn't you shit then bury? Were they afraid that Iraqis or whatever would dig up your shit or something?

>have to piss while doing cardio
>not sweating the piss out fast enough

JUST

sounds comfy.

Rats

You sound unemployed.

And why is rats eating old shit any of your concern?

The whole "hearts and minds" shit. Ironic when the plumbing in the big bases just led all the piss and shit outside the base to form big lakes of human waste, stinking up the whole area. And when we broke down the camps and removed all the equipment, all that was left in the desert was our piss and shit. That is our legacy :^)

This is fake and gay

If it's still unclear, it wasn't considered nice of us to bring rats to the areas the afghans were living in. It was simply the officers being nice to the locals to order us to not shit everywhere (even though the afghans do so themselves).

t. autist

I poop once a day, every day. I'd hate to be a pansy ass faggot that needs to poop for every sip of coffee they take

>squat plug shifts while in the hole during a max squat

>wake up to go to the gym
>poop for 30 minutes with cell phone
>shower to clean up properly
>by then there's hardly enough time to go to the gym before work

kek

I poop 3 times a week, maybe.

>pooping for 30 minutes
Wtf, I poop in like 3 seconds. My shit exits at mach speed. Am I doing something wrong?

(They're massive aswell)

Sometimes they come out in one smooth motion, other times I have to stay a while and watch Kripp videos

no no no, best poop time is late night. nothing beats coming home after a long hard day, eating a tasty meal, and letting one rip. then you got the rest of the night to relax. best feel

>>poop for 30 minutes with cell phone
I can't do this because I hold my ass cheeks apart when I shit

>One log in the early hours of the morning each day,every day.
You can't beat that feeling of freshness for your whole day.

>be me
>killer arms/back day
>suddenly feel a rumbling in my stomach
>rush to the bathroom
>barely make it in time
>do my business and reach for the toilet paper
>can't reach my ass
>my pump is too big (doing dropsets)
so anyway i had to wait an hour for the pump to go down before i could wipe myself

I get this literally every time I squat or deadlift. I think it's the increase in intra abdominal pressure that just forces the shit downwards. After I get done squatting/dling the urge to shit or fart goes away. I'm kind of used to it by now but it still sucks

...

>do poo in morning
>drink coffee
>do second poo before leaving for gym

as a kid this confused me deeply. Kids would go to take a poo in primary school and take like 5 seconds then come out. I use to take atleast 3-5 minutes to shit.

maybe their parents gave them more fibre? who knows

>his parents were too poor/uncivilized to pack him a poop-scoop with his lunch.

>tfw when I was having such a hard time passing my shit one time (I'm talking over 10 minutes of pushing and the shit was stuck half way out my ass) I had to get my mom to help

I shit like a mule. It just pops out. I dont even need to wipe, it just slides out and plops. I shit in the wilderness while moving, like we will be in the backcountry navigating a ridge, and ill fall behind, squat, shit, and then catch up without them knowing I took a shit.
I remember when I was 15 I decided to climb this one 13er with no trails leading up it, and I ended up overshooting and spending 3 nights sleeping out in the woods with my backpack over my head and my hands in my pants. I thought the hunger would weaken me and I would fall off a cliff or something (I was soloing like 5.11 on wet rock, fuckign mental), but I kept going because the last words I said to my dad before leaving (upon him offering me TP) were "I shit like a mule dont need no paper".
Either way, I got back, and he called me a dumbass.
Still, dont need no paper

err what did she do?

>do a poo
>realise you didn't bring your poo scissors with you

...

I was like"moooooooooooooooooom what do I do my poop is stuck" and she grabbed some TP and pulled it out I'm pretty sure

>tfw farting so fast and hard that it hurts your asshole

I know that feel and it's really loud.

>poop scissors
What are poo scissors

>implying that I wipe

...