There's a very real possibility that I might be going to prison within the next year for a very long period of time (6...

nexercises xddd

kinda this, but hop on gear and lift while training boxing/kickboxing, gear will help with size, strength and recovery so you can train errday, maybe even twice a day

Don't listen to this faggot. If prison gangs see some skinny fucker, they're gonna fuck with you regardless of whether or not you can fight (especially if you're a manlet). You should get fucking huge AND learn how to box, that way you'll be unstoppable. You're new job is to learn to kick some m a j o r ass and get fuckin huge.

get super strong grip strength, grow out your nails

was it worth it, bro?

What weapon? 6 years seems a bit steep unless it was an assault rifle or something

Kegels

6 months isn't a long time, you're gonna need to roid if you want to get to a decent size. Also train MMA and get comfortable with violence.

Sphincter extensions 100*100 everyday until you get sentenced is my best advice

Lift each body part (arms, back, legs etc) 2-3 times a week doing 8-10 repetions and e sets per excersice. Pick 2 or 3 excercises per body part, so that is a total of 6-9 sets of 8-10 reps each getting you approximately 48-90 reps per set. This will give you ideal muscular growth. Do NOT do starting strength because it is NOT a size program. Look up generic upper/lower split programs if you want to know more.

The most IMPORTANT aspect to building muscle is to gain weight. So stuff your fucking face with anything. Bagels, candy, ice cream, and hit at LEAST 120g of protein per day. And stuff your face, because if you arent gaining weight, you arent gaining muscle.

tl;dr upper lower split routine + caloric surplus+ sufficient protein = quickest novice muscular growth

Tell then you're in for something different. Like weapons trafficking or something that's more bad ass. don't hop on juice, adverse side effects and shrinking due to lack of juice will make you a target. def take some fighting course, boxing or judo or some crazy shit. beat the dog shit out of the first guy that messes with you.

>6 years for fucking that

Damn. I could rob a bank in my country and get away with less

I could kill a man in mine and get away with less.

Read it again stupid ass faggot.

hahahah your gonna get raped :(

well, you're going to jail, so roid your ass off, until you get huge, then you'll have a normal body on couple months

Don't go beating the shit out of someone who looks at you funny, Veeky Forums is retarded and would have you believe that'll gain you respect and all his friends definitely won't kill you. The only real safe place at rikers is some building where they keep the really gay guys, so if you can act and you're scared there's that. Don't really know if I'm right about that my uncle was there for a very short time and I don't remember everything he said. Definitely learn to fight though

Is there a statute for your charges?

YouTube kali muscle and follow his diet plan and recipes, do Arnold's novice program and get some test and look up a guide on how to cycle it. You're going to make it

Not in jew York where the people can't own shit but the cops resist any attempt to control their corrupt asses

>5'6 140lbs
you are so fucked. you need to start using steroids yesterday if you're going to prison in six months.

Watch allt he episodes of Oz. and learn from O Reily.

underrated post

my sympathies OP.

> Rikers

Hahaha you're fucked.

The cons I know who have been in and out of jail for their adult lives all describe Rikers as the worst of the worst.

This. You don't need to be big if you just play the niggers against the italians and then reap the profits.

Be a bro and tell us the whole story OP. Sounds like a wild night. What ethnicity are you? Also good fucking luck rikers sounds like something out of a Goddamn movie.

Better odds on you getting as fat as possible and being able to fake it.

Just eat at a surplus and lift constantly. GOMAD breh

Sorry to hear, sounds really shitty =[

You're gonna be sitting on some dude's lap feeding him breakfast and calling him daddy within a week

Get some tren or whatever you can get your hands on if you have less than a year.

Get into some form martial arts and supplement it with lifting, you need both. Give zero fucks about aesthetics, if you need strength and power asap eat everything while you're on gear and keep training and lifting during your free time. Educate yourself on prison gangs and plan who you want to make friends with, always assert dominance but don't go out of your way to fuck with people by yourself.

Either fake or retarded. Why aren't you fleeing the country? American prisons are worse than hell. I would much rather die trying to escape the country than be locked up for 6 years. Just go to like some small country town in Peru or some shit, it's not like you did anything bad enough for the FBI to come looking for you.

1 gram test e + 1 gram tren e / week

+ 5000 calories a day. You'll gain atleast 20kg and get dem beefy watery mossels

Don't take anything anyone offers you(everything has a price) and get a job as soon as possible

Just remember the lube.

If someone tries to attack you (not just talk shit) try your absolute hardest to fuck them up to the point where they die. You're obviously not going to kill them but after a couple times of it happening people will get the message. There's a lot of guys who aren't in a gang in prison but you'll have to figure that out yourself (your cellie might help you with that). Don't try to be anyone's friend and keep your head down. Get a job so you don't go insane/can buy goodies from the commissary

>take steroids
>grow man boobs
>go to prison
>have nicest pair of tits in the whole place

Didn't think that one through did you Achmed?

Old pasta 2bh

This. It's a golden chance to change your life OP

>this thread
>everyone picking lifter

youtube.com/watch?v=YAXaCmky4Hw

spend the money on a good lawyer. they can work miracles. I was charged 3 felonies and 5 misdemeanors one of which was aggravated assault and that kike got me 6 months in rehab and probation.

1 x flee to Venezuela

GOMAD
Gallon of milk a day brah

>5'6
>intimidating presence
pick one kek

youre gonna wanna dirty bulk + ss + a shitton of upper body accessories senpai, building a solid strength base is important, if youcan afford it take some boxing/judo/bjj classes

I see wat u did there

oh and by the way OP

Don't smile. Ever.

>immediately go to their rival gang asking to join for some backing

starting strength & dirty bulk

ROID AND EAT AND LIFT
ROID SO FUCKING HARD THAT YOUR SKIN LOOKS LIKE PIANOMAN'S
AND EAT SO FUCKING MUCH THAT YOUR HAVING TO PURE STEAKS TO GET THE DOWN
AND LIFT SO FUCKING HARD THAT YOU DONT HAVE TIME TO DO ANYTHING ELSE

why is this?

According to The Night Of they are more likely to ask your mom to hide dope in her pussy. Better ask her if she's down for that.

Other than that try to befriend the inmate that's running shit and do what he wants. Best hope that ain't blow jobs and butt sex.

>sitting in my cell
>hear some weird sound coming from the new fish cell
>"BOP. BOP. BOP"
>looking over
>now he's talking nonsense about ramen and busting nuts
>hit him with my Bible
>he drops like the condom full of smack i shit out earlier
>CO puts me in the hole

yeah good idea dumbass

Ive been to prison
Just keep your head down and dont be a weirdo
You may want to learn to fight in case you get tested but for the most part its not at all like you think
Its actually a lot of fun at times, as bizarre as that sounds
A friend of mine did four in rikers and said it was better than dedham which is pretty decent

The guy literally said He needs to get big in 6 or so months. What exactly do you want him to read again?

A pistol is markedly more dangerous than an "assault rifle". By the way, I'd like you to try and define "assault rifle" for me.

A weapon halfway between a rifle and a submachine gun. Literally just saw a video explaining this made by a west point instructor.

It's copypasta, dudes

you're an idiot and i hope you get raped and extorted

Do this 4 times:
muscleandstrength.com/articles/gain-35lbs-in-6-weeks-naturally

Buy a greyhound ticket and go to Tucson, Arizona. There's no way they'll stop you like an airport will. From here, you just take a shuttle to the Mexican border and walk on through. Nobody even checks if you're going through. Finally, you journey your way down to Peru, or even just stay in Mexico. It isn't as bad as Americans think it is.

Take advice from people who have never been to prison with a grain of salt. Every idiot says "fuck somebody up". The prison environment is all about respect. Your best bet is to avoid conflict at all costs, until you can't. And when you can't, go 110% and demand respect while giving it to the other person confronting you as much as you can. Work you becoming the person you want to be while you're inside and have a plan for Day 1 when you get out.

Otherwise, get a good lawyer if you have to beg your fifth cousin or suck dicks and try to avoid jail all together. That should be your priority until you get sentenced.

Are you trying to say carbine?

By definition, an "assault rifle" has to be fully automatic. Which no civilian rifle is.

>>>> /k/

I could literally kill someone right now and be out of prison again before you wtf

man you sound like a cunt i hope you are op and get buttblasted in prison

I could rape a goat in my country and people will accept me.

youtube.com/watch?v=pmZGffkJdN4

T. Guy who's never done time

American lockup is a fucking joke

...

Train hard and just before they snap you go to France and join FFL

Ive been in a holding cell for a weekend you idiot and it was by far the worst experience of my life

anyways it did teach me good lesson I guess, now I know im never going down alive

Austria?

TUNA&TOP RAMEN
U
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A
&
T
O
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R
A
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True that. If you are lucky you get 6 years for manslaughter in Germany. Holy shit

This. In your short time, its the only way to get any bigger without looking like a fat fuck. And if you train enough in tose 6 months you might learn something.
Try kickboxing and wrestling or judo.

you can get away with six months in austria

>6 year minimum for a gun with some weed

How come the Bronx is filled with people who carry that shit all the time?

Because they are googles

high mortality during arrest?

Your mother isn't going to stand beside you for six years, you'll be on your own in a year or so.

>Ignore a toll booth and posses dried plant
>6 year minimum
THE LAND OF THE FREEEEEEE
AND THE HOME OF THE BRAVE

how about you kill yourself

This nigger is retarded

your lawyer will plea bargain and you'll get 10 years of probation you dumb nigger

since it sounds like you are gonna die in there anyway why not go full eric frein or mcveigh? The government wants to kill you over your god given rights, so why not fight back?

>New York

bahahahahhhahaha

Get in with the gang of your race asap

shave your head before you go and grow a five oclock shadow

This, so much this.

The lawyer thing is huge. Not sure if OP's already tried it or not but getting a decent lawyer may cost a lot but in the long run it's saving you so much money and freedom if he can get a reduced sentence or dropped charges.

My uncle was an idiot and represented himself in a case of sex with a minor (she was 17) and got the maximum sentence

Judges were lawyers once too so they don't like people insinuating that the process can be done by an average dude without counsel that factors in

>5'6 and 140lbs
loose 20lb, buy a dildo and start practicing to be a bitch. With any luck you'll get a hiv- prison bf to protect you