ITT: Describe a historical event badly

>ITT: Describe a historical event badly

Alina Li unrelated.

Macedon guy wants exotic boipucci, conquers half The known world instead

French are faggots, Germany proceeds to be even bigger faggots. The absolute state of German faggotry will haunt them for the next 100 year.

My sides = in orbit

Brits are sent to some godawful place in the MidEast, loses to a bunch of tribesmen and mountaineers

tax dodgers react like insulted whores, destroy tea stocks

Bunch of politicans stab an old guy to death because he wore red sandals

Greek dude picks a fight with rome for shits and giggles and eventually fails despite winning most battles because he can't focus on one thing

Guy wants to humiliate the senate, humiliates the army, makes a mockery of the political positions; some guy with a high-pittched voice doesn't take this very well

Rip out your guts cause you're a failure, rip them out again because you failed the first time.

Pyrrhus

F

Semi-illiterate deviant wages war on birds and loses spectacularly.

DERETE THIS
CHINA NAMBA WAN

Entire history of Australia

...

A Serb ruins Europe.

>Herro, I'm the blothel of Jesus Chlist

Since when was Martin Luther a Serb?

3 men fall out of a window and europe is plunged into a brutal war

I've met this girl irl at a party.

Since when did serbs advocate for africam american civik rights

>going to parties
Normies out.

Fat people want to feed skinny people, get murdered

American charity event gets overrun by African Militia?

Fueled by hatred, Hitler rises to power and tries to conquer Europe to rid the world of jews.

Pretty close, American intervention in Somalia.

Fall of Constantinople?

The Children's Crusade?

A really stronk russian boi takes leadership of a big country,murders his son and has 2 autists as other sons

I've never see one of these threads before. I took the OP literally. I'll put on my dunce cap now.

Ivan the Terrible

Underrated

Yep

Another one.Guy gets brutally murdered for bringing a fork into a hall

Effeminate homosexual rapes a fat woman and gets a bunch of coal

Roman soldier moons Jews, leads to massive revolt and spreading of Jews every

still true though

A guy pretends he's seeing prophecies in his dreams and kills a bunch of jews.

France declares war on one of it's neighbours and gets absolutely assblasted

Gib prussia or war!

kek

Guys goes for sandwich, gets killed... War begins

>3 men fall out of a window
>as if it was an accident

Rich guy takes a vacation to the middle east.. 20,000 people die

>Guy wants to murder someone but fails
>Goes to get a sandwich and manages to kill his target
Fixed

Animal lover bullied by the three biggest blokes on the block, kills self

Guy wants to "open a window into europe",Declares war.

they had it coming alright

a retard dies and starts a war

War of Spanish succession

WW2

Silesian Wars

WWI

Man annihilates all of a nation's troops, still loses because he forgot siege engines.

Black man makes it rain on the broke ass niggas

wwii

lul

Some guy edits a letter and publishes it and the people are so butthurt about what was said that a war starts that kills hundreds of thousands, and provides a pretext for another war even more deadly.

is she hot irl, or is it all a charade?

Italian City-State dislikes conquest, does it anyway.

World Wars: The Phantom Archduke

brave swamp boys fight rise up against iberian border gore

American imperialists help rural and suburban retards to finally have their revenge on city folks.

Hannibal!

Go on a trip on the other side of the known world because the place you just became king of sucks. Die on the way back, your last words might as well have been “What are you going to do? Shoot me?”.

Bombing of Germany?

Nope.

Soviet-Afghan war.

Some group called the Hammers beat up a Greek guy then burnt some candles for eight days.

Who is this? My google-fu is weak

Still nope. But getting closer.

Alexander the Great

Richard Lionheart, lord of Anjou, Maine, Normandie, and Aquitaine. And incidentally, also king of England.

Went on crusade for all of his reign, got stomped there, on the way back assaults a tiny castle defended by 38 people, women and children included. Congratulates some guy in the sole tower for deflecting arrows with a pan, that guy like hours later shoots him with a crossbow after Richard thought it would be a good idea to come inspect his troop with only his helmet on.

Big war and all. Italians suck. Another big war, and Italians suck big time.

Literally any two wars that have occurred since Italian unification.

Funding of al-Qaeda?

80 years war

City slicker gets killed in his fancy German car by a rural idiot and a world war begins.

Local man ruins everything

orange mussolini

user I said ruins everything

Charles II and the War of the Spanish Succession

Awful tattoo

Some dudes from an island are dicks to everyone else and then complain when people cook meat on a stick

Manga musa?

Pol Pot

Yugoslav wars

Some weird fucking backwater country literally thousands of miles away from anything important accidentally stumbles into being the most powerful nation in world history without even really trying

Details, motherfucker.