Would you eat your own cum if it had 20g protein in it per ejaculation?

>tfw woke up tonight horny as fuck, fantasized about sucking cock and proceeded to lube up my asshole and fuck myself with a vibrator and beating off until cuming all over myself

this happens like once a month

I think lifting is turning me bisexual

I just tried

>tfw dick is too short

also dislocating your jaw, running to the bathroom, hoping that your roomate isnt home yet
just to push your cum out of your mouth using your tounge so you can try to relocate your jaw isnt fun

lifting will increase your sex drive and if you can't find a girl to release yourself you turn to the next best thing

nah bro, all straight dudes do that stuff like once or twice a month. Gay guys do that on the daily

>all straight dudes do that stuff like once or twice a month

>this is what faggots actually believe

dude it's not gay to wanna fuck/ get fucked by a dude every once in a while, actually doing it is what's homo

>not pounding some boipussy x F
>making it

I have a girlfriend but she's out of town at the moment

Once I got this urge when she was here and she was pretty excited to finger my ass while sucking my dick

That would mean I was losing 20 protons every time my gf made me nut. I would just stop having sex at that point

thats nice form your gf to help ypu prevent prostata cancer

gf=gains goblin
bf=gains gainer

>insecurity levels peaking

its not gay man, no other dude involved. Nothing wrong with having something up your ass and a dick in your hand. Especially if it's your own dick

I fantasize about being fucked right in the ass but I would never kiss or hold hands with the dude, very homo in my opinion

exactly, its just a fantasy to get you off

Does anyone else wish they were in a platonic relationship with a guy? Like you'd live together, share the the same room and bed and go to the gym together and all that and are basically in a relationship, but instead of being homo and fucking each other you fuck chicks together (who you kick out afterwards). Is this gay?

no. what you're thinking of is very close friendship

Other than sharing a bed everything you describe is just bros

this is pretty much my dream life
if my best friend and his GF cant work it out, this id our plan B

I would like to have that too
but with a Trap and no random chicks
just us

fucking homos!
why don't you just drink some protein shakes

Jesus bruh. You must have really wanted to suck your dick.

there was no girl around, so...

but couldn't reach it, was just able to lick my foreskin

Came to post this

is this the secret to how some girls get so thicc?

>tfw no thicc wife who loves eating cum

...

being able to suck my own dick is probably the only reason why I'd want a bigger dick

and because it cooler when someone is sucking you off

>tfw i had a thicc gf that loved to eat my cum

i broke up with her..
what have i done

Nigga i would eat my cum even if it had the nutritional profile of a twix

who wouldnt?

>not mixing your cum with fresh homemade coconut for dat dere maximum gains

not gonna make it brudah

faggot

just because you are a protein hating vegan, doesn't mean OP is a faggot like you

>Veeky Forums

still better than egg whites only

That shame afterwords though.

but you feel shame too when you come too soon or when she doesnt come at all, so whats the fuzz

I think you're fucken onto something, never put things in my ass until I started lifting, now I occasionally beat it to gay porn. could never actually fuck a dude and still love my gf but god damn butt stuff is just too fun

>tfw unironically got my butt fucked for the first time ever yesterday

You could do butt stuff aaand still fuck your gf

Hey, whatever lifts your barbell

I think like 90 % of it is the feeling of having pumped up glutes and newly shaved balls, cock and asshole and for me those are totally related to lifting

You fool.

There is literally nothing hotter than a chick greedily gobbling down your cum

>tfw a grill once wanted to kiss and cumswap with me after :/

Fuck that, you nailed it!
OP is still a fag!

>There is literally nothing hotter than a chick greedily gobbling down your cum
I don't care about this at all. my last gf would do it if I wanted, but I didn't see the appeal.

Pls be in tilburg

Didn't hurt? Felt like I was getting punched in the gut no matter how slow or how much lube. Genuinely mystified some guys do that all the time and love it

And they get it on their hands and they start greedily licking their fingers and the backs of their hands. Then they look at you like they are a happy with themselves for making you cum.

I just masturbated and now I feel bad again

>tfw no gf, no trap gf, no cuteboy

>Veeky Forums - Fitness

It was awesome actually

>black dude, late 20s, 6'ish, stepping out on his gf. Good deal chubbier than the pic he sent me :/
>HUGE cock, much bigger than mine
He must have taken viagra or something first bc that thing was rock hard the entire time
>got on my knees and sucked him for a while, tried to deepthroat
>bends me over and starts rimming me
>literally tongue fucking and gobbling me, feels incredible
>fingers me for a minute, feels good but at this point I am literally begging to get fucked
>tries to fuck me doggy, can't push it in
>flips me over and lifts my legs, awkwardly pushes around for a bit before getting the tip in
This was the worst part. The initial penetration was pretty painful, I really thought I was gonna have to call it off.
>finally he works himself deeper inside
>slowly thrusting, hitting the spot, feeling pretty good
>lifts my legs up so my feet are on his shoulders
Everything changed when we got in this position, he was fully inside me, I was opened up, and he started giving it to me good. Deep dicking, hard dicking, it was crazy. He seemed to really be enjoying himself. I am basically retarded at this point, just lying back taking it and making animal noises
>fucks me missionary for a while
>fucks me on my side
>fucks me prone, hard
This got me good, I was saying all kinds of crazy shit to him about how my ass belonged to him, he was turning me out, etc
>he gets tired, so I hop on him and start riding
>kinda awkward at first, just tried to do it like Riley Reid
>I shoot my load on his chest
>he busts in the condom
>afterward we kick it with some beers, shoot the shit and watch pic related get BTFO'd

10/10 2bh, would probably do it all the time if I weren't totally straight

>only 20g per ejaculation

But that would mean I'd have to jerk it 5-6 times a day which would burn up all your gains

Yeah, except I'd still fuck him sometimes

>black dude

Stopped reading there you cuck

>mfw an actual homosexual enters the Micronesian entomology forum

No.
I think I might be allergic to my cum. Whenever I try to eat it my throat and tonsils get really sore

Dude, you're just insecure about your sexuality. If you weren't, you'd know that as long as you're secure in your sexuality there's nothing wrong with getting fucked by another dude no homo.

sounds pretty comfy my man

I do it anyway lmao at missing out on free protein, zinc and test

n-no homo

No. That's like less than what's in one scoop of whey. Why would you even ask this? Even as a joke this is impractical and, to be honest, not really all that funny.

>would probably do it all the time if I weren't totally straight

he said he's not gay can't you read

>gays do that on the daily
>tfw I've been anally masturbating every other day
Phew dodged a bullet there right boys?

>grill wanted to kiss and cumswap after
tell me you didn't waste those gains, bro...

I came too.

/thread

...

kek guys being paranoid about stuff turning them gay is crazy but so real

In middle school one of our friends CONVINCED us that it was gay to jack off by moving your hand. That the right way to masturbate was to hold your hand still and fuck it with your hips. He said doing it by moving your hand would make you gay because it was teaching you to give HJs.

This seriously fucked with me, I forced myself to masturbate the "right" way by humping my hand and felt immense guilt and worry if I ever "jacked" it. This lasted for several years until I realized I would always be a grillfag, and that my friend was an idiot.

>tfw now happily jack it with an aneros up my b-hole

I already eat plain greek yogurt can't be worst.

>mfw gf swallows my cum
>girls confirmed for gains goblins

When I first started(11) i honestly thought its gay to fap but i couldnt control myself so I kept doing it. Whenever someone asked I would say "ewww no thats gross" At around ~13 i started to realize that everyone does it and felt less gay and guilty about it. But yeah in the beginning i thought fapping is gay because you're giving yourself a handjob.

I wouldn't be masturbating of I knew I was blowing away 20gs of protons

L O N D O N
O
N
D
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I feel ya. Watching Wentz is truly erotic.

>gf starts getting more swole than you
>starts fucking you instead

>getting pegged

>breddy fuggin degenerate t.b.h.

>black dude
>finally he works himself deeper inside
>feeling pretty good
>fucks me
>fucks me
>fucks me
>I hope on him and start riding
>I shoot my load on my chest
>he busts
>if I weren't totally straight

jesus

it's pretty fuckin gay

this is gay

Ik ben in tilburg

what are you suggesting?

>I really, really like women

should i just start taking jizz as my multi vitamin bros?

>aneros
my fuckin dude

You missed a "really", kek

>totally straight

No.
The cycle of eating your own cum and jacking off is not ideal
Meaning: between every time you fap and eat your own cum, you lose some protons
Now, better would be to eat your gymbros cum, that way you don't lose any protons yourself. However, your gymbro will be losing protons. He knows this and will call you a gainsgoblin and rightfully so.

Yes. Except we'd have sex with each other too.

thats gay af bro..