Shit normals say

I'm at that point where I'm mired by normie girls but I'm too busy checking out my lift bro's ass and glutes. H-hold me... Veeky Forums.

Have you tried the lemon detox diet?

ass and glutes? your homies got both?

Yeah and he wears those tight compression shorts that just makes my dick diamonds.

You should give your homie a suck, my man.

>Toxins

the sure fire way to know if someone is talking out of their ass is if they use this word.

triggers me every time

This, just remember to swallow, cum has protein.

>tfw sucking off guys at the gym to steal their protein like a gain vampire

Unless you're fat as fuck and your joints hurt there is no reason why you should use that thing

You're a regular SUCCubus.

>i dont wanna do x exercise because I don't want to get big!

The gluten shit really gets me.

> People cut carbs completly
> All that sugar in thier diet dissapears
> "I feel so much better. Must be the gluten"

...

>Wanna buy some Shakology?
>Bicep/Tricep night

It's cardio that's light on your joints

Why the fuck not? Yeah fatties use it, but association doesn't make it bad

Hey My fit bit is pretty great though, HR monitor
Sleep tracker, an "ok" calorie counter, silent alarm.

Hasn't changed my life, but it makes keeping track of a when and why I have a bad day/workout a lot easier.

Me and the rest of my fatties will cram double cream wet dreams down your throat until you hit the 50% bmi mark if you don't shut your hole right now twig boi.

>posting shit from askreddit threads on the 4chinz

c'mon you're better than that

"Nah i dont like that machine.."

"Nah deadlifting will make me wider im gonna stick to squats.."

"I dont feel like working out, im gonna use the treadmill. "

This is why i hit the gym lone wolf style.

>being an able-bodied straight male
>using an elliptical
pick one and only one you fucking autist

Meant for

Any more of these "templates" or starter kits or whatever, funny as fuck.

>inb4 Facebook tier

If you're willing to put up with leddit
r/starterpacks is a thing

I use it to spare my joints and to get some variation; I don't bike because I don't wanna get ED and I don't swim because I'm a poorfag and live in a frozen wasteland, so I just got running and it gets boring sometimes.

I expect nothing and still I'm let down

Anything about spot reduction

>cardio kills gains

80% of lifters, even elite ones, look like normies or fatties in everyday clothes.

Been taking my gf to the gym the past few months. Tfw she loves free weights and hates cardio. I end up just leading by example and doing cardio and having her keep up.
She hates deadlifts though. She went by gloves specifically for diddlies. Usually a firm "stop bitching and get it over with" is enough to make her do her 3x5 diddlies. I'm just about positive she skips them the rare days I'm not with her on days she has to deadlift though.
I taught her proper lifts and how to eat. She's making solid natty gains and nearly has a flat belly. I got lucky.

iktf
also seeing normies in bad shape eat shit food with shit macros triggers me

It is an exclusive club, membership is always open and there is a no exclusion policy, but you need to have the prerequisite mindset and a work ethic. Most don't.

i started lifting as soon as i started dating 2 years ago and my gf is telling me for the same two fucking years "yeah, next monday... i took her to my gym couple times but she goes to the threadmil and stays there the whole time, she is already skinny as fuck, i want to have a hot gf for fuck sake

Someone needs to screen cap this chain of replies
>Veeky Forums
>no homo

Normies like to throw out how they "know" free weights are better, and jump to that in discussion like if they don't: I'll know their secret, that's they're not a serious lifter.

They throw out all the facts in the world that they've heard parroted, stuff they know people generally nod and agree with. And what they say isn't "wrong" perse, it just shows how actually uninformed they are.

Because no secure individual has a conversation just to identify if the other "knows as much" just for the sake of conversational one-upsmanship

She gave me the "next Monday" shit for the first 1.5 years. Once I finally got her in there, she ended up really liking lifting.
Her previous experiences were her doing machines mostly fucking around for an hour, never getting anywhere, like most girls do.
Once she got a taste of dat dere progressive overload and saw her squats and deadlifts double in weight over a couple months, she was hooked. Its a struggle to get her to do cardio more than twice a week, but she's filling out nicely so I dont mind.

i tried making her squat, deadlift, all kinds of glute and legs exercises but she doesn't have the discipline for it

>I wanna get big but im only good at cardio (isnt good at cardio)

Or

>I WOULD go to the gym but its just so intimidating

...

My room mate to a T
>only eats mac n cheese
>only drinks soda
>remarks on my fitness: "jeeze, I wish I had your metabolism, I can workout but I never lose weight or look any better"
>tell him "you cant eat shit and expect to look great"
>says he once went to the gym for 3 WHOLE weeks and saw no improvement, heretofore, gym memberships are a waste of time
>flex a bit "mine hasnt been"

Hes still just eating mac n cheese (with frequent fast food cheat days) and drinking only soda.

Gonna turn into a real porker I think. Just looking at him makes me want to begin a 2 a day routine.

I have 40lbs of shakeology

Try living in the deep south. Going to Walmart makes me understand why ISIS wants to destroy the West.

I don't need to exercise because I can get sex

One of the biggest/best built guys at my gym uses the elliptical for cardio. Fuk off m8

>"What if we just skip legs"
>"Yeah I bought protein" (day 4 back from not working out)
>"How much do I tip the receptionist?"

reeeee

>I THINK 3 SCOOPS WILL BE ENOUGH

Good user, may Allah bless your soul.

Triggered fampai

hehehe

I don't even live in the deep south, just the south, and people in Walmart make my skin crawl.

Stop forcing your girlfriend to be your "bro" you fuckign faggot. So sick of dudes trying to make their gf their homo bestfriend. If you get with a girl and choose to lock her down, you better expect the bitch to get fat.

brb dating a passive quiet female and expecting her to deadlift her bodyweight with you 3 times a week.

I found the calorie tracker pretty shit, the discrepancy between what it showed my TDEE was and my actual TDEE (based on calories eaten & weight change) was 300-400 kcal too high

t. beta

fat chick gets no dick

Wait, biking gives you ED?

As a fattie lover i'm excited to hear that my twinkies won't be cream filled.

To be honest mate Veeky Forums is similar to "cleansing" with their avoidance of plastics and vegetables due to muh xenoestrogens

...

He's right tho
Xenoestrogens are a meme

>oh you guys lift?
>yea theres this proper big lad at work right, benches half a ton, half a ton!

Try telling /pol/ that. Fuckers are practically water filter salesmen these days.

>Funny thing is
>This dude wants to be fit and tries hella hard to be fit

...

Yea mine is a bit high also, It Doesn't bother me too much
..Just makes me eat more.

>skelly normie wants to 'gain weight'
>starts long-distance running

Have you tried rowing machines?

...

>"I would lift weights but I don't want to look like those dudes."
>Referring to IFBB pros.
>Brb accidentally winning Mr. Olympia after going to the gym once.

Dunno about that. I can pretty easily tell who lifts even if they are extremely fat oly/powerlifters.

>"Yeah I post on Veeky Forums"

what's the problem?

literally my mate I go to gym with

God, that is just unfortunate.

Blame Casey Neistat

Second best thing to sled pushing if your gym lacks a sled as it has more or less no eccentric component, so you can blast it without getting the least bit sore.

/pol/ is basically a community of people who will point a finger at everyone and everything but themselves when something isn't the way they think it should be. It's more or less a different demographic expression of tumblrshit.

So? You're not trying to make the calorie tracker happy, you're tracking calories to meet the TDEE you're targeting.
There are loads of formula for calculating TDEE. Just pick one and aim for it.

>doing 4 bicep isolations in a row is really helping guys!

What did he do?

And i thought i had wide hips

Then you should try to find a fit girlfriend. Going out with a girl who doesn't workout and trying to change her will never succeed.

Why is everyone bar me seemingly intimidated by shit

Its either ooh no cant go the gym

Or ooh can't talk to xyz

Or ooh cant dare make a scene of myself

My attitide is im going to do what i want when i want and if you dont like it lets scrap over it

Christ people are prissy

I love all those fitness people on instagram when they flood each post with 40000 hastags.

I do think it's intimidating
I've only gone 8 times so far

your partner doesn't HAVE to get fat. If my bf ever gained weight and didn't fix that shit in a month, two tops, I'd leave. I expect my partner to put in as much effort as they can, and 0 effort is never enough.

Have fun with your fat gf though

Post body faggit

You know... when I used to go start lifting beginning of last year none of the big buff guys would ever talk to me in the gym or even allow me to make eye contact. The most interaction we would have is, "how many more you got??" and that was it. But now, now that it's nearly 2 years later and I'm all big and buff I get greeted and talked to all the time by other big buff guys. It's like I'm finally part of their exclusive circle.

Feels great man.

6'3 lanky friend asked me what track team he should join. Because I don't have shallow friends I had a conversation and told him he should just do cross country because he's kinda lazy, and will only stay his size.

people see me as a buff ass nigga but I only hangout with my 2d waifu

Those bullshit quotes they always include, just fucking kill me

>"How much do I tip the receptionist?"

>tfw I work at my gym as a receptionist and some guy yesterday literally tipped me and my coworker $5 each

I was in awe and really couldn't tell if he was serious.

Free weights are better in almost every scenario besides DL/Squat