>new gym policy of no single members >they put me together with a 300 lb hambeast to not lose my membership >hambeast round me up in a corner and forcers me to touch her sweaty breasts >take photos with me and shows them to all her friends >all her fatty friends wants to add me to FB >she wants to know my parents
I just wanted to lift
Aiden Diaz
>new gym policy of no single members what the fuck where the fuck do you go to the gym
Ian Moore
>new gym policy of no single members >things that never happened
Joseph Morris
> that's the part of the story you have a problem with
OP gets raped and Veeky Forums concerned about where his gym is located
Owen Williams
summer's over, kids
Lucas Barnes
>my gym adopted no single policy last month >tried getting a partner but everyone's declined so far, most of them looked visibly disgusted when I asked them >have until end of the month or I'll get kicked out I already paid for the rest of the year in advance, what the fuck do I do?
Lincoln Evans
>new gym >didn't book a squat rack in advance >next available booking is 2 weeks away
Advice to stop my gains melting away?
Anthony Cook
>My Gym adopted a deep Butt Plug policy for all workouts. >I only use a small metal butt plug for the squats.
Advice anons, this is a very good gym, i don't want to be kicked out!
Brayden Campbell
Is this like a double meta troll, I dont understand
Oliver Perez
if it's a very good gym you should hear them
Julian Lee
>Gym has poz policy >am kissless virgin so no stds >draw scabs on my dick with marker to pass penis inspection when I check in >after every workout the marker runs off my dick from all the sweat >rumors that they're going to implement shower policy I'm fucked guys
Austin Fisher
>waiter brings me my plate for squats after waiting for almost 45 hours >plate is cold, bland and octagonal >at least bar tender is kind enough to gve me a nice olympic bar
Lincoln Walker
kek'd
Carson Garcia
>gym has no b.o. policy >fat fuck and sweaty after a couple pushups >shower after every rep Help guys this is a great gym but I'm spending way too much on water bills
Jose Lopez
>Newest guy in gym is usually bound and used as a cumslut in the showers >tfw not the newest guy anymore
Tyler Wilson
partner up with a bro if they don't accept this sue them for discrimination and make mad bank
Carson Morales
This is why I take the weights and do my lifts in the handicapped shower
Colton Evans
>not jumping from gym to gym
it's like you don't want those protons
Christopher Rodriguez
>2x1 plates promo in the minisuper >buy 2 >arrive at house >soak the plates 2 hours >they don't grow >maybe they are the microwave ones >microwave them >microwave blows up
fucking Chinese products, I swear
Hunter Robinson
>miscalculated and didn't insert enough coins into the bench press machine >the machine locks in the bottom position >I'm stuck there until the qt working at the counter frees me 10 minutes later >people kept walking by and laughing
Noah Long
>guy that bench more pl8s becomes the shower cumslut >everybody benching 2, 3, 4 pl8s >I'm stalled at 1pl8
Lincoln Martin
use the bumper plates to fake a huge bench
d e v i l i s h
Landon Harris
>miscalculated and inserted extra coins in the treadmill >tired as fuck, I could not get down, the machine kept going >ejected at 30 km/h into a mirror >everybody laughed at me, owner was mad as fuck >I had to pay a new mirror
Henry Perry
>at the gym >flexing in mirror >looking hella juicy >legs look kinda small though >tip mirror >start deadlifting >lunk alarm goes off >employee comes over to chastise me >forget to tip employee > banned from gym
Benjamin Butler
>3x10 in the neck rope >trip on bench >hang myself >everybody thinks I'm suicidal >have to expend 120 hours in the mental clinic or I lose my membership
Alexander Thomas
x10 in the neck rope
Kevin Hall
>show up at the gym >squat day nice, ready to hit some PRs >crossfit-tier receptionist frowns at me when I enter >"whoa there buddy, where's your falcon?" >shit forgot the gym added a falconry >membership expires in 60 days if I don't get an approved lifting falcon
Can anyone recommend some decent falconries? I need a good lifting bird ASAP. I've been at my gym for 6 years.
Elijah Rogers
That would be gay
Jace Davis
not if you say no homo
Jackson Russell
What if they keep me gagged and drooling?
Liam Wilson
>open gym >it's Thursday, that means that I'm in charge of the fatty cage for the day >fatties starts to show up >soon the fatty cage is full >have to round them in a corner with a pressure hose >partner go inside and enable the machines inside the cage >fatties doesn't want to lift >release the dogs >one cornered fatty sharts himself >fatties start to lift >shit and sweat everywhere >day ends >release the fatties >half of them never shows up again >wash the fatty cage
I really hate fatty cage day
Henry Thomas
>gym starts a must have gf policy >tfw
Ian Murphy
>tfw graduated from fattycage to cuckcage am i gonna make it brahs?
Brandon Walker
the fuck
Grayson Diaz
say it when you get home
Ryan Cook
kek
Brayden Powell
newfags get out
Charles Fisher
everybody is going to make it brah, just keep your wife's black bull happy
Adam Collins
>new lift with your wife's son policy >I'm already covered
Grayson Fisher
>the only gym in my backwater town doesn't allow falcons, but I can't leave Copernicus home, because it gets stressed being alone
Nathaniel Nelson
>the lazy ass stoker didn't shovel coal fast enough, and the gym went dark in middle of my tricep pushdown 4RM attempt
Angel Perez
>bring your own pl8 policy enforced >can't afford plates so just do bodyweight exercises till my membership runs out
Jayden Clark
>new horse only gym policy >now me and my gymbro get in for half price
Brayden Bennett
Stop going to a shit gym
Ayden Williams
>my gym adopted a retarded policy >now I'm writing a greentext story >of something that never happened >I also uploaded a picture of pepe
Alexander Brown
ahahahaha je bent zo grappig
Cameron Gonzalez
How did Pepe get a girl to have sex with him? I though him and Wojack were social retards.
Bentley Sanchez
he only inseminated the eggs
Oliver Wood
Who said they were his babies?
Carter Watson
>triceps push down 4RM attempt Kek
Nathan Garcia
why would you even post this dumb thread you stupid faggot
Ayden Morris
>gym started new BMI policy >must be considered overweight to make everyone feel comfortable >tfw rushing to permabulk till I can find new gym
Landon Nelson
>ready for my 3 hour arm workout >go to the dumbbell claw game and put in a gym token >aim for the 40lb dumbbell >claw was too weak to lift it >have to do my workout with 10lb dumbbells instead
Evan Phillips
Nice
Angel Kelly
newfags out
Angel Cooper
I don't want to be rude but why don't you kys senpai
Colton Cox
>gym adopted a policy of "No silent workouts" >have to deal with roid monsters screaming during their 30 rep burn sets >can't fucking get into the zone for my 1rms attempts
Help pls.
Chase Bailey
500% OVERPUN
Lucas Bailey
My sides
Camden Harris
I'd kind of like to go there and get raped myself tbqh famalam.
Brandon Hall
>Kom golds Gym binnen >Receptioniste vraagt hoeveel mijn platen wegen >Vanaf 80 kilo krijg je een gratis barbell >Heb maar 60 kilo bij me (lievelingsplaat thuis vergeten) >Zeg dat ik 80 kilo heb > Receptioniste vertrouwt me niet > Moet mijn gewichten laten wegen > Wordt nu aangeklaagd voor oplichting en ben lidmaatschap kwijt
Jacob Thompson
Kek
Elijah Carter
>break new bench press PR >spin the Wheel of Gains on the way out >it lands on legs
Benjamin Martinez
Falcons are expensive as fuck, no point wasting the $ if you don't even like to do it.
Ask if you can replace it with a cardio sparrow. They may object if you spend most of your time doing weights, but if you have actually been working out there for 6 years you should be able to work something out.
Justin Young
>new gym policy of daily penis inspection instead of anually >they inspect me after some heavy squat sets >all blood is flowing to the muscles, penis is shriveled to the size of a grape >they conclude my penis size has receded and now I'm out of the gym's standards, so they revoked my membership
FUCK
Jaxon Kelly
C U C K E D U C K E D
Jason Young
>Mfw the gym clown keeps popping balloons during my clean & press
Nathaniel Long
what kind of a fucking backwards ass gym is this?
Brayden Sanchez
Lmao
Liam Murphy
>new Russian gym in town >male receptionist greets you with 3 kisses, one on the lips >brake all my PRs
wtf, I hate American gyms now
Oliver Jenkins
If your penis isn't at least 5" at its smallest, you have no right to be in a decent gym.
John Richardson
kek. this is good
Oliver Edwards
Men can't be raped shit lord
Tyler Ramirez
>my bar privileges expired >don't want to change gym because i already paid for another 6 months of 45lb pl8 usage
Samuel Stewart
spotted the feminist
Gabriel Roberts
i spent my money on a bulking pidgeon and a spoting parrot, but i'm saving for a squat eagle
Asher Smith
>tfw want to be raped >wanting it means its impossible
Fml.
Juan Walker
I don't understand this picture. Is pepe sweating because they are girls?
James Harris
Seriously, this is what LA Fitnees and PF are good for, if you know what you need you can always get the weights and machines
Sebastian Sullivan
hue hue hue
Nolan Morales
>enter the gym through the airlock >take my falcon Hippias to the roost room >I recognize a couple of the birds there, as they belong to my gym buddies >walk through the market trying not to draw attention, as I don't want the merchants to start bartering with me >one of the biggest guys in my gym is waiting for the butcher to slaughter a post-workout goat for him, and I give him a nod as I proceed deeper to the gym >"You like what you see?" one of the prostitutes says teasingly as I walk past her, but I don't care >I'm not wasting any precious, protein filled sperm for a harlot; that would ruin my nearly autarkic protein economy >As I walk down the hallway, I can already hear the commands from the gramophones: "Concentric, eccentric." >I give my workout plan to the bouncer at the door of the inner sanctum, and he gives it back after inspecting it >as I have a Platinum Card™, I'm allowed to use all of the equipment and weights >I see a young lad finishing a set of squats >he only has a Silver Card™ hanging from his neck, so I would be fully withing my rights to tell him I'm using the rack now >however, I see too much of my former self in the young boy, so I decide to let him finish his sets without interrupting him >I know my workout plan says that squats are the first exercise, but the gains police of the gym is a bro-tier fellow, so he wouldn't probably even mind if he found out >do leg press instead, and hit a new 13 rep PR >we're all gonna make it
James Gray
hahahahahah
Benjamin Thompson
hahahha
Logan Bennett
There's a superstition at my gym that if you use the handicapped stall before a big lift you'll end up handicapped yourself.
Anyone else have these beliefs?
Carson Bell
>reserve and pay for 10 minutes mirror time >Newfag Chad in the gym shows up and uses it with me >don't say anything b/c dyel manlet
Michael Bennett
>just hit a 3pl8 squat the other day >it feels different somehow though >tfw accidentally used bench pl8s instead of squat pl8s How badly have I fucked up
Joseph Thompson
>he didn't spot the ironic 'shit lord'
Logan Clark
>gym in Russia, having a hard time understanding things >new gym policy of not bringing friends >have to sneak in with my friend Pavel >he says he's not my friend at reception >hurtfeelings.jpg >some stupid questionnaire gets handed out >questions about who hired me to go to the gym with Pavel >questions about my new altitude mask >"if I take off that mask, will you lose your gains?" >it would be extremely painful >receptionist keeps giving me a look like pic related >I'm not even a big guy
Robert Carter
Best post in this thread.
Gabriel Adams
>tried to follow in some highschool girls to bypass singles policy >one of them tells the receptionist >give a nervous laugh and try to play it off >someone hits the single alarm, and gym security tackles me to the ground >they forcefully confiscate my squat plug with foreceps and escort me to my car
getting gains is more difficult by the year
Oliver Ross
I have two (legit) stories >go to America with my girlfriend >we drive through a mcdonalds drive thru >order food >pay >when the drive thru lady gives my girlfriend the food, she says "sorry about your weight" >wtf?
>go to Gold's gym (still in America) >the pool water is very hazy, not clean at all >no markings in the pool or on the ceiling, if you swim backstroke or front stroke you'll pretty much hit your head on the wall because of that >you have to bring your own padlock >they don't even go in the sauna naked Wtf America?
Cooper Reed
Welche Sprache ist das ?
Asher Gonzalez
For you
Parker Collins
Offensichtlich niederländisch
Jeremiah Harris
underrated
Anthony Sullivan
Was Pavel getting you caught part of his plan?
Josiah Reyes
What a time to be alive
Justin Green
I lost it at autarkic protein economy.
Andrew Thomas
>tfw no swipe card at my gym I hate carrying around a sack of coins