Pay for one pl8

How much is the entrance/exit fee for your gym?

>went to gym expecting finally opens at 9 am
>wednesday shits only open at 1

>loading up on squats
>try out my max
>go deeper than usual
>mild buttwink
>siren sounds
>the form police have arrived
>its a surprise sting
>officer fines me 5lbs of muscle for lifting an unregistered barbell
>2 months ban from gym for buttwink
>Police report me to my health insurer
>premiums go up
>tfw sent my appeal but it was denied

Worst day at the gym so far

>Doing DB flies
>Lose count, accidentally do one more rep than I paid for, DB's reduce back to 0lb.
>Manage to sneak them back before the gym staff noticed
>Devilish

Mine was shittier.

>busy day at the gym
>all the gym shirts that actually fit me are taken
>have to wear a small shirt
>look like a backup dancer of a britney spears video
>policy is that you get laughed at if you make fashion mistakes
>shirt starts to tear and I dont get my deposit back

Holy shit just reading that made me angry

laughed out loud

>today I left the $5 for the exit fee in my locker
>they won't let me out, I'm stuck here forever
>now I have to do inverted lifts to earn money back for the exit fee

>load up 2 pl8
>suddenly realize their negative plates
>barbell shoots up into the ceiling
>now I have to pay for repairs

...

>paying each time you lift

I don't understand this meme. How could you possibly save money unless you only go once a week?

I pay $40/month and go 6x a week. My gym is pretty massive too.

That sucks dude. I bought a set of negatives and dropped some a few times. Had to use a stepladder to get them off the ceiling.

I bet you lift with shit plates. Expensive gyms are always the best

You make better gains lifting a 40 lb titanium plate as opposed to 40 lb iron plate.

holy fuck, I didn't know Veeky Forums could be funny outside the regular FHP/Manlet/Racism memeing.

thank you anons, I got myself a free core workout.

>You make better gains lifting a 40 lb titanium plate as opposed to 40 lb iron plate.

Bullshit.

>Free
>He didn't tip the gym jester
Kys europeon

It's because the titanium is activated

Lmao wanna know how I know you haven't lifted a day in your life?

Maximum kek

>squatting supervisor is out sick and there's no other certified employee to fill in
>try to sneak in a set when no one's looking
>some nu-male lanklet sees me from the cardio room and reports me to the front desk

Had to pay a $30 fine and I'm now on my final strike. It fucking sucks because there are literally no other gyms near my house.

Someone has to make a comic about this holy fuck

>tfw you haven't lifted in the last month because you can't afford the $100/m Manlet Surcharge.

Any recommendations on at-home gym rental equipment?

>gym clown took a day off

>not lifting gold plates

>take last scoop of pre workout
>go to gym
>get kicked out because of hair.

fuck cancer awareness day.

>TFW gym only has 45lb of light weight alloy
>Gains are all fucked up

>new squat racks
>No ash tray built in
>Ash tray accessory can be rented from reception for £5

Capitalism really fucks me off.

>tfw all the gym slaves are taken
how am I suppose to put my weights back?

>settled with stainless steel

>used up my monthly oxygen allotment in the first 3 weeks.

>have to wear scuba gear for the next week

kill me now lads

Tell me about it senpai
>Forget to return ash tray to reception
>Lose $10 deposit
>Limited to 3 cigarette per set
>Accidentally smoke 4 on my last set
>cigarette Butt disposal surcharge of $2

I'm going to quit this gym when my 6 year contract is up. Fuck this place.

Wow your gym is shit tier

lost

...

>forgot to tip a squat rack and got second warning

fuck you planet fitness

>Get up from bench and head over to coin op paper towel dispenser.
>Have to wait while employee refills disinfectant solution.
>As I'm walking back, see gym proctor citing me for leaving sweat on the equipment.
>$20 fine.

Should I try and fight it?

>finish doing some warmup standing lateral raises
>go to set 15lb weights back
>one of them bumps my thigh slightly
>LUNK ALARM goes off
>people clearing the building
>swat team has me on the floor in with shotguns in only like 10 minutes
>spend the next 3 days in jail
>fucking 3,000$ bail
I'll just use the rubber band next time

nah, they'll DNA test it and then charge you for it

>only gym around is for morbidly obese people
>feel like doing some cardio
>hop on the treadmill
>max speed is 5 mph
>fiddle with mine and finally make it go faster
>speed police in their scooters come by and give me a ticket
>I have to pay 4 boxes of donuts or $50 by next week or I am suspended for 2 weeks

DYEL

>Gym has a fart jar
>Similar to a swear jar, but it's 50 cents a fart, with $1.00 added for every 5 seconds it lasts
>tfw had to put $3 in it yesterday

Anyone else have to hide their boners when a grill puts money in it? I always try to make it look like I'm going to use a machine near it and walk behind them but I think they are starting to catch on.

>Doing some deep squats
>pay for 10 reps
>mid rep the squat rack locks up
>smash my neck on the back of the bar as I was going up
>the fucking thing was counting my reps as 1.3 reps each time

No core workout for me today, god damn this thread is great

>manage to get to the gym after taking 6 scoops at home
>at the gym, the Drawbridge Duty Officer asks for an entry fee
>pay it, he lowers the bridge.
>doing my regular routine
>alarm goes off
>realize its Rollercoaster Thursday
>the rollercoaster pulls up to the platform
>everyone in the gym rushes to their sits
>forgot to buy a ticket when i first entered the gym
>the platform master gives me a look
>calls security, try to struggle
>they bonk me on the head
>i passed out
>find myself naked outside an amusement park

>Go to gym for adult open squat hour
>when I get there a couple of kids are using two of the squat racks as jungle gyms
>n-no biggie there should be other squat racks open
>all of them are taken by this point
>ask kids to go play on the decline bench or cable machine
>tell me to fuck off
>didnt get to do squats this week

>it's bring your own pl8s to the gym day
>I bring my 45 lb iron weights, proceed to bust all my PRs
>on the way out I realize I accidently brought my 45 lb nickel pl8s and was counting all wrong
Hope no one else has ever made such a dumb mistake

read the fucking sticky

one time the pl8 butler gave me nickel pl8s painted to look like iron. needless to say I did not tip him after my sets.

>put 6' as height on gym app to avoid manlet surcharge
>am actually 5'11" (D E V I L I S H)
>squatting today when the Height Inspector shows up for a surprise visit
>mfw

thank god for weightlifting shoes

>tfw lanklet tax

try to pass yourself off as between 6' and 6'2", you'll get the Optimum Height discount

>It's penis inspection day at the gym
>the doors are locked and nobody can leave

I'm not at optimum weight though, plus I'm already maxing my swipe card with second sips.

such is life.

Kek

FUCK ME I BROKE MY HIP TRYING TO BENCH PRESS WITH SQUAT PLATES

10/10

>mfw traffic whey into the country
>I'm in the trap house just bagging up scoops

I pull up to the gym and cash in 10,000 for plate credits every month or so. I bet most of you haven't even been in the VIP section. Bitches get wet seeing me pop sports drink bottles.

4 euros, but if you stay over 5 hours then there's no exit fee

>run out of coins for the fresh water bubbler
>have to drink for the recycled water bubbler instead

What is your gym in croatia

gross, I only drink new water

>missed the monthly gym security meeting
>receptionist wont let me in because I wasnt at the meeting and didnt get my lifting license renewed

atleast I got her to let me into the cardio section but I wont be able to lift weights for an entire month until I get my 1/2/3/4 security clearance again

Happened to me this week

>buy one scoop of preworkout™ for 12$
>'shit it's two scoop tuesday'
>try to hide it but gymstaff have already noticed
>have to pay a 20$ twice
>throw away the single scoop cause it doesn't count anymore (3$ trash fine)
>buy another two scoops for 24$
>okletsdothisnow.png
>buy water for 2$
>mix preworkout™
>forget to shake my shaker twice as much as usual
>get kicked out for the day after buying two scoops of whey™ for 8$

New owner is really chill tho, they give out water for free on christmas, if you buy one of the special christmas shirts for 80$. And considering all the shit I've fucked up so far, I got away cheap - atleast I have some stuff to post if anybodies interested.

Welcome newfriends

> tfw was running late for cardio bike-powered predator missile class
> Chad was working on his technique all week
> he explodes my knees

this meme sucks

>bench press month
>load up lmao2.5pl8 on the bar, about to do 5xπ
>unrack the bar
>bar starts leaning to the left
>Hugh Wottameigh
>rack, check in case I accidentally used a women's 45 lb aluminium pl8 on the right side (aluminium is like ⅓ the weight of steel)
>nope, all good
>hype myself up, ready to confidently bust out my set
>quickly lower bar to chest
>bar violently rotates, left side on the floor and right side up
>the right side plates catapult through the air and hit a family of 3 (dad, wife and her son) in the neck, decapitating and killing them instantly
>in shock because all of this happened in the span of half a second, still can't wrap my head around how the bar fell to my left
>gym inspector comes in and assesses the situation
>"You loaded both sides of the bar with left plates, son"
>ohshit.mp3
>"Luckily, you only killed manlets so there isn't reason to take you to court, but you have to pay for the smashed mirror"
>breathe a sigh of relief, tip him and get ready to leave
>family of manlets still in a pool of blood
>the bodies are all put in one normal sized coffin since they fit
>the undertaker exclaims he only found one head
>some kid is doing deadlifts with the other two, cute AF
>chuckle as I pay at the receptionist, tip
>exit gym, check wallet
>out of money for this month's bench shoes
Can I use OHP shoes for bench? They're all I can afford rn. Any other alternatives?

>pic related, what their dog looked like

How much do you guys tip spotters at your gym? Right now im going with 10% of weight lifted

i love these threads

>hey give out water for free on christmas
SIGN ME THE FUCK UP

Fucking lol

>about to break a bench personal record
>the gym auto balance alarm goes off and I get sent to the red benches

fuck my gym

Who /gymbully/ here?

>Try to get into cardio area today to flirt with some qt
>don't have Chad level flirting clearance so I have to wear the beta hat
>She didn't sign the concent to date contract so I had to wear the beta hat the rest of the day

It's not fucking fair bros

>snapped my shit up using a left hand bar
fuck my life brehs

This looks really hot. I hope she brought her squat plug

>she

>she

>part of my gyms terms and services act is to be drafted upon the event of a war as a fit young male

>squatting without a cigarette
>enjoy your low test

>she

I don't bully girls

>not passing penis inspection for chad level flirting clearance
>not passing polygraph questions of fucking 50+ women and having women flirt with you every day to receive chad flirting level clearance
Why do you even try? At least go to the gf-store and buy the $35,000 practice gf program first before you even apply for a clearance

>the squat racks brake pads are worn out and started squeaking
>its been closed for a month now until a mechanic decides to come in and fix it
>as a result for sitting so long the brake fluid started to leak and is now seeping into the bench press area

What about 40 pound feather plates?

Tricked some newbies, they thought they were actually lidoing heavy

>devilish

>tfw local private gym was torn down during the revolution
>tfw forced to go to a public Comrade Sanders gym
>tfw they're starting to let refugees from Planet Fitness in

>cardiobunny passes by squat rack on the way to the treadmills
>take a look at her ass without thinking
>she catches me doing it, reports harassment to security
>have to pay the 50$ Beta Fine

Fuck you man, I accidentally over trained my traps instead of my quads because some faggot like you switched my titanium pl8s for aluminium plates when I was occupied filling my squat diary.

> Go to work out as usual and swipe in
> Accidentally end up at AL Fitness gym instead of LA fitness
> Have suck off 20 people to make the money for the flight ticket back to LA b/c no way I'm doing the cardio

>working out at gym
>starting to get a little sweaty
>a single drop of sweat drips on the ground
>sweat alarms go off and I'm forced to pay $50 fine

Fuck man, I thought I was good for one more rep before I needed to towel off

Hard times daddeh

youtu.be/9py4aMK3aIU

> walk over to the free weights section
> notice that all the dumbbells above 80lbs are reserved for a party of six
> attendant tells me I need to call at minimum a month beforehand per press set