What's your darkest gym secret?

I curl in the squat rack, and enjoy it.

>That said i workout at home now.

This is a completely valid reason not to deadlift you self conscious autist.

dyel

dyel

I do front squats instead of back squats

I do all the tiny adjustments in my leg workout and cardio to maximize glutes development. My ass looks better than most girls asses at my gym, they always ask me about my routines but I never explain them the nitty-gritty butt building details.

Tell me, asslord

I PEE in the SHOWER and NO ONE can STOP ME

Fucking same bro

Does that work?

I'd beat you up if you did that in my gym.

I do wrist curls with the EZ bar while resting between skullcrusher sets.

I am the monster you all fear.

I shit in a pumpkin to scare some dyel asians off the basketball court but it didn't work

I went to the gym on xanax one time and fell asleep in the locker room laying on the floor. When staff woke me up I was so out of it that I ran out without grabbing none of my gear. I went back the next day to get my bag back and when I retrieved it, none of my gear was in there.

When younger and in college (like age 18)-I once had an orgasm during a 30 minute ab workout class while doing crunches on one of those big rubber exercise balls.

Literally jizzed in my pants.

Awkward as fuck cuzz.

how the fuck is this possiuble

I dunno mayne. It was near the beginning of the workout too. Never happened again.

kekd

i stare at the nearest fat bitch ass and lift har af

I check out on other dudes to get motivated.

>dyel mode just starting gym
>benching
>Need a 10k pl8
>It's busy and all pl8s are used
>See one
>A dude was squatting with that pl8
>Once I grab it I find out
>Autism attack and sperg outta there
>Switch gyms
Guess I had to learn the gym rules the hard way

me too user, I just like them more. Took a while to get the wrist flexibility, but now I've done them so long I don't have the ankle flexibility for back squats...

I had a bad MRSA infection on my armpit that I was having to drain regularly and eventually got surgery for but it was leaking when I got to the gym and while I was doing stretches on a yoga mat a big glob of puss dripped on it and I couldn't find anything to wipe it with so I just rolled it up and started my first lift

I never wash my hands, onlys hower weekly and sweat a lot in the gym. I also have some sort of skin disease growing on my palms.

I never wipe the barbell

>I never wipe the barbell
who the fuck does

oh fuck man

Yeah i very rarely use the gym now and its usually so I can use some stuff like cables that I dont have(i dont use the leg curl machine)
As I rep out leg curls every rep just sends a rush of air to my dick. Imagine using a pump to put air in your bike tire. I start to feel like an animal and just wanna fuck any female nearby. I usually stop half way into my sets cause it feels like my dick its gonna explode.

idk famalam, my gym has these wipe dispensers everywhere

I squat in the smith machine.

>OHP my bodyweight
>I'm 150lbs

manlet blowing up your lanklet egos all day

I poop in the shower no one has caught me in 5 years

I use liquid chalk altough its a sign forbids it

I take creepshots of the cardiobunnies and the occasional girl who lifts and then masturbate to the images later

>mfw im 240 and I OHP 315

I stopped deadlifting for a bit and secretly fantasize about milfs and cardio bunnies stepping off the eliptical and offer no strings sex because they're mirin.

I once accidentally set a new PR on my bench press by misloading one side

No you wouldnt

>secretly fantasize about milfs and cardio bunnies stepping off the eliptical and offer no strings sex because they're mirin.

We all do that, user... We all do that. Even the gays; they'd just be happy someone gets moist around them.

Go on

Indian here.

I always have to shit in the middle of my sessions, but I always bring a toilet pot with me (cultural thing), storing it in the gym locker when I'm not using it. I fill it up with water in the sink and splash the water on my bum after I'm finished shitting. Feels cleaner than toilet paper, but I always get a little residue on my hands. As my hands are sensitive to antibacterial, I can't use soap but try to rinse them well.

I continue my workout immediately afterward.

When I go on the hamstring curls the pleasure is so intense that I can't finish a full set. its stronger than any orgasm i've ever had, so strong in fact that its actually uncomfortable

POO IN THE LOO
O
O

I
N

T
H
E

L
O
O

I hope you're kidding, but Indians are fucking disgusting so if not I wouldn't be surprised

Sauce on that pic? Good god that is a fantasy come to life....

damn. strong lifts user. I'm mirin.

Took me two fuckign years of gymming 3/week to hit 150 for a signle though and I"m fucking proud though.

I've been crushed by the bar doing squats on a bad day. It was my warm up set too.

i gave myself a hernia saving a rep while squatting on a hard cut.

Tell secrets pls senpai

I do barbell wrist curls in the squat rack and have done so whilst people are waiting to use it for squats/OHP on more than one occasion

I threw up after doing cardio, a shitload of brown chocolate protein shake and hige globs of mucus. I cleaned it all up tho cause i work as a janitor and have seen some shit.

I piss before every session and don't wash my hands

Sara Jean Underwood

took a shit and didnt wash my hands when i came back

Chicago?
h
i
c
a
g
o?
But really, which one of you gave me MRSA?

I steal from people who don't lock their stuff

I masturbate in the showers sometimes

I cum on girls clothes and just blame it on pajeets.

I turn down the brightness on my iPod because I exclusively listen to Tekken soundtracks when I work out.

I lift for fitness and health rather than to get "YUGE."

I do more cardio then lifting

I take a stinky dump in the locker room loo before lifting, wipe my asshole and scratch my balls and taint like a motherfucker for like 5 minutes solid.

sometimes i don't wash my hands before I hit the weights

All the "I don't wash my hands" bs explains why I immediately get sick when I don't carefully shower right after gym...

I'm high af off wax almost every time I lift

I always look at the dicks in the shower, to see if someone has a bigger or a smaller dick.
I especially like it, when I see a guy who is good with girls and they are talking about him, how sexy he is, but I know how long or how small his dick is.

Lol I did that in middle school on girls mouthpieces in band

Holy fuck I was weird

I add the bar weight to the total weight I lift to make it seem like I lift more weight than usual.

So isntead of saying I bench 180lbs (4x45) I actually say I life 225.

I don't use the spray and just fake-wipe with one dry paper towel my whole workout.

Lol yeah! How did you know? It was an XSports

Everybody does that idiot.

>I use liquid chalk on hands when I do DLS and pull ups
>always hear people complaining about chalk on the bars
Top lel

Welcome to the board, new friend
Make sure you remembered to read the sticky!

Count all the weight you lift. Nothing wrong here.

there's nothing wrong with that. tekken has some fucking ridiculously good songs, especially the new ost.

I bait closet fags then shame them while loving every moment. Especially on leg days, doing lunges in ma short shorts.

I'm new to lifting and super insecure about the low weight I use.

>work at gym
>slutty bitch who isnt even fit does too
>has sex with a bunch of patrons
>always makes me do all the work while she is out hitting on customers

So yeah, I've been going into the breakroom and unleashing my horrid protein farts into her backpack that she leaves there for the last week or so.

She hasnt used it in forever, but its getting chilly and when she goes to use the hoodie she keeps in there its going to be saturated with a few weeks worth of my screaming ass-demons.

Always take the back row of treadmill to stare at cardio bunny ass.