Scan membership card at front desk

>scan membership card at front desk
>girl tells me my membership was cancelled
>"Um, what? There must be some mistake"
>"There's no mistake. We have a new policy of requiring 500 Facebook friends for a membership. It appears you don't even have an account."
>so flustered I forgot to leave a tip

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This wasn't funny

>going through oneitis pics on fb
>she sends me a message asking me why i keep viewing her pics
>facebook alerts people when someone frequently looks at their pics
guys what the fuck do i do

Happened to me too, that's worse than when you show up first on people's "recommended friends" list if you visit their profile too much.

What is this 2005? Who uses Facebook any more.

Don't fucking joke about that shit nigga. I already feel like I'm pulling off a heist when I go onto a grill's facebook, I don't need extra paranoia

its not a fucking joke
just make sure you dont look at it more than 3 times in a week or so
fb is making sure creeps get caught

So that's why girls in my uni classes don't talk to me.....

Well shit, luckily I don't have my real name on my Facebook.

This is a lie.
At least I fucking hope

Christ, you did it to more than one girl? You're gonna be known as the school rapist

I usually do it just to put a name to a face and remember it, but now I realize why I'm regarded as disgusting by the majority of the girls in my classes.

It's not about lifting at all, it's because I'm a creep

this is troll brehs, facebook doesnt do that

FUG

proof

>summer never left
you god damn bakas, Facebook does not and has never had a system that notifies you when people view your pics

>Using Facebook
>Ever
RMS would be disappointed

She started appearing on my "find friends" lists, I mean we do have like 3 mutual friends but still, I'm sure it's cause I've looked her up
Please fucking god no, I can't believe it

>tfw i also checked my crushes parents

isn't it all about insta and snapchat nowdays? Who uses Facebook anymore?

You can't really stalk on snapchat like you can on facebook

normies have gone to far

you cant make posts on snapchap/instagram, its all pictures.

Wow this board really is full of idiots.

nice photoshop retard

Facebook might not do this but I didn't realize you could check what people who follow you like on Instagram.

Yeah. That was not fun realizing all of the ass pics I liked could potentially have been seen. Needless to say my account has been suspended for the last week and a half. I fucking hate social media.

Banged a chick that I'd never talked to online before because I found out that they list friends by a number of things, one of them being how often they view your account.

If you notice someone showing up high on your list, give it a shot boys

The only idiot is you, famalam. You fell for the group effort bait.

There's this girl who I have a few mutual friends with, but I've only talked to her a handful of times, she's shown up on my people you may know or whatever, I don't know if I should add her or not, what's the amount you must know someone in order to send them a request?

This. Its like those people who fail to see the trolls talking about how penis inspection day doesn't exist.

>Have 1000+ followers on IG with 5:1 follower to following ratio
>900 friends on fb with 250 followers
>3.5k Twitter followers 10:1 ratio
>100,000 snapchat points
>gets discount at gym
>only pay 5$ a month
Being alpha pays off

Chances are she'll just think you thought of her or saw her name pop up, accept you and think nothing else of it. But if you're not that confident in yourself and want plausible denibility, wait until the next time you talk with her and add her the next day (If it's at night) or when you get home (If it's during the day)

Why do they bother? It's like trying to say that the sun doesn't rise at the start of the day. We all went through it, there's no need to lie

>Girl used 3rd party obvious "hack your account" app that tags the top 3 viewers of her page
>Tfw RNGesus puts me at the top
>Tfw I easily had x3 the ludicrous amount it had on there.
They know.

They're too dumb to download shit like that mate.

Just be honest.

"I have severe depression and I live life vicariously through others happiness and success."

What the fuck? Once I was viewing a girl's pics and she messaged me. I thought its just a coincidence but I guess not.

>They're too dumb to download shit like that mate.

don't call me your fucking mate you cunt

"I just happen to live very vicariously through your life almost all day every day and none of your friends lol I swear"

No it doesn't.

>Wow this board really is full of idiots.

indeed

...

pls no

...

I'm sure that only shows if you hit the download button? I've been paranoid about using that button for years, so I always right click, view full image, then right click, save.
>go to the bathroom in the morning
>very obsessive about doing it after waking up so I don't have to throughout the day for a while at least
>try for 20 minutes to squeeze out a turd
>finally manage to do it
>look under me in the toilet
>there's no turd there
>can't tell if I'm going crazy or it somehow went down the "pipe" by itself

Relax, its a shop. Stalking shows nothing unless you accidentally like a comment or pic. Just check your activity log on your wall after you're done to make sure you didnt accidentally like anything and you're good.

>RMS
youtube.com/watch?v=I25UeVXrEHQ

PLEASEBELYINGPLEASEBELYINGPLEASEBELYIINGPLEASEBELYINGPLEASEBELYINGPLEASEBELYIINGPLEASEBELYINGPLEASEBELYINGPLEASEBELYIINGPLEASEBELYINGPLEASEBELYINGPLEASEBELYIINGPLEASEBELYINGPLEASEBELYINGPLEASEBELYIINGPLEASEBELYINGPLEASEBELYINGPLEASEBELYIINGPLEASEBELYINGPLEASEBELYINGPLEASEBELYIINGPLEASEBELYINGPLEASEBELYINGPLEASEBELYIING

take a screenshort of the pics and save it. That way you don't have to visit twice