Take a piss at the urinal

>take a piss at the urinal
>Some insecure loser enters
>Goes into stall
>Hear him pee
>Mfw

Other urls found in this thread:

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Autonomic_nervous_system
nothingtodo.co.uk/view/1054/toilet-tactics.html
urinalman.com/
twitter.com/NSFWRedditGif

prob cos u stink like farts u nasty pant sharter

that's me

>guy walks into bathroom before me
>goes to urinal
>take the urinal next to him
>he sorta freaks out
>start blasting piss while he's trying to pee
>hold my piss in for a moment and aim
>blast in his urinal
>he looks at me flabbergasted
>I wink "I peed for you"

Would legit kill myself if that happened to me

I do this because I can't piss in urinals without my dick seizing up and not letting me piss.

it's a condition bro

First kek of the day, thanks user.

I go into stalls too, unless I dont expect meeting my gf. Reason being: toilet paper there + less awkward to shake and squeeze last pee drops out.
In return I got my gf to love blowing me cause 'yours is the first that doesnt disgust me'

If I'm alone I like to use the stall cause I wipe my penis with a sheet of toiletpaper. I hate every little bit of pee in my pants.
If I go pee in a group I can't do that for social reasons.

Anyone else who does that?

>have absolutely no problem with showing my weiner when changing/showering in gym
>cant relax my bladder for shit at urinals when someone is next to me or watching me from behind

why is it that you cant consciously control it
whats the evolutionary benefit of embarrassing yourself in public bathrooms

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Don't worry, beta males like us will die out so it will genetically change

I can't pee with autism nearby.

I do this if a stall is available, if not i just go to the urinal. The main reason is whenever i pee at a urinal my pee stream is always so powerful i get a little splashback. Even if I stand a little further back.

>take a piss
>someone else takes a piss elsewhere
>that makes them insecure
>but I am secure enough, after all I have my internet friends to reassure me of my victory in a LITERAL internet pissing contest where the opponent didn't even show up
>alphaAF.png
Fuck, lost

>Go to take a piss
>A muscular homossexual is taking a piss there
>He looks at me like a rapist
>Enter the stall to piss. No way am I going near that bootywarrior

>whats the evolutionary benefit of embarrassing yourself in public bathrooms

are you 12? Its the same reason why you feel more comfortable sitting in the back of a room full of strangers; idealy with nothing behind you but a wall. Its a safety feature provided by evolution.

the truth is that I (OP) am a paruresisfag myself. It sucks.

Sooo yes the story was made up. I'm the one who goes into the stall and the others are the ones who laugh at me :)

I always make a point of getting a chub before going to the urinal, so that others feel pressed by my thick dick

implying they would eyeball your dick.
Homosexual tendencies are strong in this one.

I piss too whenever I take a shit Tbh

I always feel inferior anyways since I'm circumcised. Doesn't matter how big I am.

So my subconsciousness is alarmed because it thinks I am in a potentially dangerous situation, I get it, but why does that also have to shut down my fucking bladder?

>potantial threats located
>better make sure he isnt able to piss right now

So you don't stand around with your cawk out nad pissing everywhere when u fight and or run

I think it is only a side effect, it is not supposed to actively shut down your bladder. It gives your body that basic-tension which includes your bladder.

...

my chub is at least 5 inches long, people will see it anyway. I take pleasure in having the biggest dick in the bathroom

Circumcision gave me paruresis

Thanks mom and dad.

Not in the modern world, bud.

We could start killing urinal users, though, since they're vulnerable while pissong and we're not. Create a world of our own.

i cant believe i have to share the bathrooms with neurotic psychos like these fuckers.

Seeee

>I can't read

I use a stall so I have space to adjust my button down shirt back into my pants. I don't want to be standing there in the middle of the bathroom bow legging trying to keep my pants from falling down while I tuck everything back in.

Who /pretendtoshitinthestallbutpeewheneveryoneleaves/ masterrace here?

Sometimes I need to scratch my balls,man.

...soooo your girlfriend hangs out in mens bathrooms and judges the dicks that come in?

and she picked you because you are a stall user?

wtf

What is the autonomic nervous system for $1000, Alex.

Seriously this is high school stuff, but this is Veeky Forums so here you go:

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Autonomic_nervous_system

Fuch off, I can't take a piss when someone stands behind or next to me.

I instantly snicker too when this happens. I'm no chest thumping alpha male... but seriously fuckheads.... what is wrong with you? You can't control your own bladder? Shut the fuck up.

>what is hygiene?

It is a condition bra. Just like social anxiety, autism, phobias and other shit. And no, you don't just be yourself and ignore them they are permanently there and hard to overcome. Some people are more prone to get shit like that than others.

>What is genital mutilation
Circfag masterrace
[spoiler]circumcision also gave me paruresis though.[/spoiler]

>enter empty bathroom
>3 urinals
>use the middle one
>mfw everyone who comes after heads straight for the stalls

MOM'S GONNA FREAK

Meh.

>be me (stfu whiny faggots, I like starting with this)
>be 15 in high school
>be young and stupid and involved in gangs
>the school had 4 different gangs trying to stake a claim to it
>get pulled into fights almost constantly
>one day I see a friend with a black eye and piss on his pants
>apparently he got ambushed by 2 guys when he was peeing at a urinal
>never use urinal again

He will forever have avoidant paruresis disorder and probably kill himself over it

Im not judging you, my friend, for its basically your parents fault to have done that to you. But even if you are a cutfag, you would profit from a head that is not pissdrenched.

Perfect link for this thread.

Have fun, Veeky Forums.

nothingtodo.co.uk/view/1054/toilet-tactics.html

why? A girl will never go near my emasculated cock anyways. I don't care if it's piss drenched.

fuck that was harder than i thought

i got a score of 3

>not getting a perfect score of 6

>not posting the far superior UrinalMan

urinalman.com/

>all these faggots not pissing in two different urinals

get on my level faggots

...

i can beat that

I see now. Bright side: Pissing takes prolly half the time it takes me. The twist and turning muh dick to get the last drop out of that fucker feels like taking hours

Godspeed

Whatever you say, faget

Whenever I go into the stalls to pee is because I'm also wanting to fart loudly and I don't like farting in the urinals where people can tell its me.

ikr. I listen to Hatsune Miku and pretend she's my gf, but even I'm not that big of a loser.

>his gf has sucked lots of dicks
>mine was khv before I got to her

Enjoy your trash baka :)

PS: she wasn't disgusted by my dick when she was sucking on it

D E V I L I S H
E
V
I
L
I
S
H

sympathetic branch of the ANS nigga

body sees threats and directs energy to the important things like cardiac output and blood glucose while also directing blood away from organs like your bladder and into skeletal muscle and the liver to free up (and use) more glucose to get away from the threats

there is medication for it but it'll fuck with ya

the body does this under certain circumstances but this is absolute bullshit and has nothing to do with peeing, otherwise you would piss yourself if you were not 100% of the time under extreme stress. you also dont piss yourself in your sleep, where the body is really relaxed.
it really is because you need to relax really hard, like let go off the basic tension that is always present.

>Go into busy bathroom
>Only have to pee
>Go into stall
>Play fart/shit sound effects on my phone
>Pee silently
mfw

lrn 2 endocrine nigga
in addition to the blood blow and stimulation to bladder being redirected during symp ans stimulation the posterior pituitary ramps up production of ADH to supress bladder reflexes

Maybe he just has a small Penis and doesn't want anyone to see it?

You should have helped him out user. Seriously. He needs a friend.

Next time just say: "excuse me sir, I think Penile size discrimination is a thing. I won't judge you or devalue you as a person for your tiny penis. You have permission to use the urinal next to me" - and the motion with your hand toward the unoccupied urinal next to you. Make sure to smile so he knows you're friendly.

didnt seen him since

I'm the same. I hate piss in my pants, and if I have to piss outside at work and shake it like crazy.

Not only that, but I hate the splashback on a urinal if I let it rip too hard.

>walk into bathroom
>gotta shit
>out of the 3 stalls, only 1 has toilet paper
>wipe that bad boy down and take the Browns to the Super Bowl
>some guy comes rushing in and gets on the toilet as soon as he can
>sounds like explosive diahrrea next to me
>hear him go "oh my god" as I start dying
>he keeps shitting and I can't stop laughing
>instead of asking for some teepee, he pulls his pants back up and runs out
That was a good day

>in a walmart bathroom with an impressive amount of urinals
>several guys are spaced out with a urininal inbetween them
>i take the closest open one near the door
>a little skater kid to my left whispers "fag" while looking at the wall
>as a joke i whisper back "yeah bubba"
>im taking a long ass piss and this guy is still here
>the other couple of dudes are washing their hands and leaving
>i look over and his face is flustered
>first time seeing this so i kind of stare for a few seconds before i finish up and start washing my hands
>its literally just both of us now
>i finish drying my hands and he trys to bolt for the door
>he doesn't even open it all the way he just cracks it enough for him to slither through like some sort of snake
>i pop my hand on the door so he cant slam it on me and end up placing my hand on his
>his face is a deep shade of red now
>he pops back in the bathroom and back out and back in once more
>now hes just staring at me
>im so confused at whats going on that i forget im still holding his hand to the door
>hes jerking back and forth in directions he wont even use his arm hes just pulling his whole body like a wild animal stuck in a trap
>I let go and he slams into my chest and takes us both to the wall
>im trying to support him so his skull doesn't crash into my ballsack and his feet are just slipping on the floor while he panics
>finally he calms down and i let go of him
>his fucking dick is still out from pissing
>i have some of his piss on my pant leg
>it looks like i pissed myself
>leave walmart and wash my pants at home

Someone save this shit hahahahahahaha

>when dicklets literally hug the stall
Lel

>enter bathroom
>throw toilet paper rolls into the toilets
>don't even need to pee, leave

LOCK ME UP

Learn 2 paruresis. Being unable to pee doesn't necessarily mean you get in a more stressful seitation, you clearly don't have paruresis else you wouldn't be talking shit like that. According to your logic, you would have to be stressed out as fuck all the time or else you would constantly piss into your pants.

Also I have a CGM and my glucose levels don't spike when i try to pee and fail. Also not when I control them manually from the blood. You are just some smartass kid who read something online and are now talking out of your ass.

I have paruresis because of circumcision.
>hur dur i wont judge you i wont judge
people have threatened me solely for being circumcised and even used violence against me ,people do fucking judge you. being a white male without migration background while being circumcised is weird as fuck. I judge other cutfags too.

Same.

Hold your breath while you stand there. It helps user.

>he tried to run out of the bathroom with his dick out
why the fuck would he do this

high five for keepin your willy clean then

The sympathetic nervous system dumps waste when activated, hence people "pissing themselves."

Nvm, can be the opposite as well, it looks like.

Looking back at my time in the service
>be about to head out on another long ass over the road haul (88m truck driver)
>wake up about an hour early before we're supposed to head out
>go to take piss
>empty latrine
>some autist in another unit comes over and of all the open urinals and stalls he could've went to he decides to stand RIGHT next to me at like 4 am
>just him and I
>pure silence
>finally one of us starts pissing
>it was me
>he stands awkwardly not doing anything
>the cringe hurts so bad I wish I never walked into the latrine
>he does literally nothing
>buttons trousers and walks out without saying a word to me

I didn't speak to that fella ever again

reminder that women dont ever EVER have to go through something like this. check your privilege, females.

also probably alot of unexplainable suicides can be explained like this. some ultra autist with extreme paruresis killed himself over it because there would be nothing cringeworthier than trying to seek help for somethng as ridiculous as this

It's true. If I see a white cutfag, I'll take a picture and post it on the town notice board so everyone can laugh.

>need to piss
>urinals are pleb tier
>use stall
>beta cunts pissing next to each other glance at bis and tris as I walk by
>enter stall
>piss right in the center, making the loudest waterfall of piss noise as possible
>Beta cunts walk out piss all over their jeans from fear
>check myself out in the mirror
>feels good to piss like CHAD

it's an defence instinct...

>Walk into bathroom
>Five Urinals
>Some guy is at urinal #2
>He looks back at me and smiles
>???
>Stand there for a second
>I understand
>Stand at #4
>Few seconds later, another guy walks in
>We both look over our shoulders and smile
>Third guy says out loud "Shit, Checkmate."

lrn 2 autonomic tone
when did I say it was all or none

thanks, but I made it up.

insecure queers everyone

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